Funny Shidduch Stories

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  • #1226814

    Jax
    Member

    Morac: cool story! & welcome to the Grand CR! join the fun!

    #1226815

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    GoldieLoxx-

    Thank you for your sympathy. I do honor your opinion but I respectfully disagree. If there is someone who is not a mentch the best place to find out about it is on an early date. Think about how much harder it will be for the guy, after he has some emotional attachment to her, to end it after the 5th date (or C”V even later).

    The title here is “Funny Shidduch Stories” so let’s get back to “Funny Shidduch Stories”.

    A friend of mine picked up a girl for a date and asks “Do you have a valid Drivers License?”

    “Yes, do you want me to drive?”

    “No, have you been driving for at least three years?”

    “Yes, why?”

    “I just got my Learners Permit and I need someone in the passenger seat who has had a valid Drivers License for at least three years.”

    (They did not get married.)

    #1226816

    Morac
    Member

    The end is that although we live in a very traditional society; my husband’s sister in law (the one mentioned before) had a brother, and one of my close friends had a crush in him. She had planned her entire life basically. About a year after we were married, we set them up. (I don’t think thty were really suited, but just to get her off my back) the whole time she had to distinguish between the one she had dreamed and the guy sitting in front of her.

    At the end, she told him, “gee, you’re totally not the guy I thought you were.”

    #1226817

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    This guy I know thought of a great idea for a date and spent a few weeks planning it and setting it up. Comes Chol Hamoed Succos and everything is ready except that he has no one to go out with. He calls some shadchamnim explaining that he really needs a date quickly. Finally he gets one.

    He takes the girl to an open park where they allow visitors to drive and park on the grass. He takes her for a walk then says, “Are you hungry? I brought bagels and cream cheese, let’s go have a picnic”. She says that it’s a great idea. As they approach the car he says, “Oh, but it’s Succos, what should I do?”.

    “OMG, I didn’t think of that!”

    “Good thing I did” he exclaimed.

    He then popped open the trunk and out jumps a portable succah, unfolding by itself and landing right in front of them. He then unfolded two golf chairs (they each had armrests and a pocket for drinks), he throws on the sechach and they had their picnic.

    (They did not marry each other.)

    #1226818

    I’ll tell you two real stories. They actually happened some time after we got married, but I think they fit here anyway.

    ==== First maaseh ====

    She: “I look horrible today, don’t I?”

    Me: “Yes, you do.”

    I thought I was merely confirming what my wife said. I will never forget her reaction.

    ==== Second maaseh ====

    I come home from work. It’s 19:55 (7:55 PM); now you should know that the makolet (grocery store) across the street closed at 20:00 (8 PM) back then. I enter the house after a long day at work, look at the table (my wife had prepared dinner), and say: “I’m going to the makolet to get frozen french fries, be right back.” When I got back, my wife was less than happy.

    What was the story? My wife had prepared enough food for two seminary girls. She forgot that a man who comes back from work eats more than that. In other words, my going to the makolet to get frozen french fries was *not* because the food she had prepared wasn’t in order – it was simply because it wasn’t enough, and the refrigerator was almost empty! After I had explained this (and a few months had passed), everything was fine again.

    #1226819

    Forgot to mention: the second story is one that every girl who is about to get married should remember very well. Men eat more than women, usually. To illustrate the difference: it took a while for my wife to understand that I eat 6 or 8 slices of bread in the morning, when she eats 1 or 2.

    #1226820

    mepal
    Member

    Daniel, keep your humor coming! You got me ROTFL!

    #1226822

    GoldieLoxx
    Member

    this happened between my aunt and uncle

    aunt: does this dress make my backside look big??

    uncle: the dress?? no!! it was all that haagen daas that makes it look big

    they were and still are married

    #1226823

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Daniel- I’m taking the liberty of blaming these mishaps on the fact that you don’t have any sisters. For your own sake- don’t try to prove me wrong 😉

    #1226824

    Areivim – in fact I do, but they’re respectively 18 and 20 years older than me, and left the house when I was very young, so for the purpose of your question, the answer would be that you’re more or less right.

    #1226825

    kapusta
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper, lol!

    Goldie, lol!

    *kapusta*

    #1226826

    oomis
    Participant

    Daniel – you really eat 6-8 pieces of bread in rhe morning??? Are they Italian bread size slices? That’s a lot of bread, pardon my saying so. You’re right, women do not eat like that usually.

    #1226827

    anonymisss
    Participant

    Daniel- I’m taking the liberty of blaming these mishaps on the fact that you don’t have any sisters. For your own sake- don’t try to prove me wrong 😉

    areivim, I’d venture to guess that you DO have sisters;) You know too much!

    ~a~

    #1226828

    Daniel- 8 slices of bread?? Wow! I find it hard to believe that the average man eats that much for one meal. (So how many loaves do you go through in a week?)

    #1226829

    Morac
    Member

    Until this very day, while I’ll eat max 3 pieces of pizza, my husband will eat 6

    #1226830

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    I had a date one evening and my father let me use his car.

    The girl seemed to be very nervous and couldn’t stop touching everything. At one point she opened up the glove compartment and started looking through the items there. (I thought it was kind of nosy but my father knew I had a date and if he didn’t want the girl looking through the glove compartment he should have locked it.)

    She pulled something out and asked what it is. Glancing her way I said that it was a tire pressure gauge, and explained how it’s used and how to read the white stick that slides out to determine the pressure.

    “So why does your father keep it in the car?” she asked. I thought it was a good question since it meant that whenever I wanted to check the air pressure on my basketball I had to bring the ball out to the car. (But it did save my parents from driving into the kitchen when they wanted to check the tire pressure.)

    Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that she pulled out the white gauge and I decided to play a little joke on her. While looking out the windshield and pretending that I didn’t see I said, “we used to keep it in the house but my younger siblings would pull out the white stick and that stretches the spring on the inside and renders it useless. It’s kind of expensive, close to $150, so my father decided to just keep it in the car.”

    She quickly pushed the gauge back in, put it in the glove compartment and closed it. She didn’t touch it for the rest of the date.

    (It didn’t work out but not because of that.)

    #1226831

    kapusta
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper, LOL!

    *kapusta*

    #1226832

    Jax
    Member

    i absolutely love this thread!

    Dr. Pepper: ha as always!

    #1226833

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    I agreed to go out with a girl but when I called her to plan a date she said that she has cousins who live out of town that she is going to for Shabbos so maybe next week. A close friend of mine who just got married and was always asking me to come for Shabbos lived in the same city as her cousins so I decided to try to go there for Shabbos.

    My friend said that I could come over for the Shabbos day meal, but not sleep there, but he would find someone to put me up.

    At the meal he told me of a place nearby to go for the date- it was a mall attached to a hotel, and on the bottom floor of the mall was a food court that empties out after 8:30 P.M. The spot he suggested was under an atrium with some trees behind an elevator that is as private as you can get in a mall. His wife also said that she knew my date from seminary.

    I took the girl there but she didn’t feel comfortable in that spot (she didn’t like the music in the background) so we went to the hotel lobby and talked there.

    The next day my friend called me and asked why I didn’t go to the spot he suggested. Apparently another friend of ours from high school was also in town for a date and was staying by him. (This guy was very nervous about his first date and didn’t want anyone to know about it, which is why my friend didn’t want me to sleep by him. This guy ate out for the Shabbos day meal so my friend had me over then.) His date was also in seminary together with my date and my friends wife so the charming young couple decided to send us both to the same place at the same time and then they would come check up on us to see how it was going.

    The date did not end up working out for us and I highly suspect it didn’t work out for the other couple either. (My friend didn’t tell me which classmate it was but I assume he would have if it ended up working.)

    One mistake I ended up making on the date- the girl made a box of home made cookies for me for the long ride home, but I got hungry on the date and ate it there. (I did share it with her though.)

    #1226834

    squeak
    Participant

    This post is a public service and contains nothing worth reading.

    #1226835

    chaverim
    Member

    Dr Pepper: I hope you don’t mind my saing, but reading thru youur stuff here it sure sounds like you must’ve dated hundreds of girls!!

    #1226836

    mepal
    Member

    Maybe some of the stories he claims his own are really his friends.

    #1226837

    Dr. Pepper-

    She made you a box of cookies?

    She sounds like a very considerate and kind person.

    I hope she found her zivug.

    (Were they chocolate-chip?)

    #1226838

    squeak
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper

    Member

    “So why does your father keep it in the car?” she asked. I thought it was a good question since it meant that whenever I wanted to check the air pressure on my basketball I had to bring the ball out to the car. (But it did save my parents from driving into the kitchen when they wanted to check the tire pressure.)

    ROTFLMKO

    #1226839

    All right, my turn. (Yes, I’ve started dating since I last frequented the CR.)

    I was very nervous to go on my first date ever. The guy said he didn’t care where we went, so I picked the restaurant. I had only been there once before, and that was with a large group, so we had made a reservation. This time, I called and they said we didn’t need a reservation for only two people. I incorrectly assumed without asking that we would still need to be seated by a waiter. We walked in and stood awkwardly next to the doorway waiting for someone to find us a table. He started chattering, asking me all sorts of questions, and meanwhile I was getting more and more anxious why nobody was seating us. Finally, after about ten minutes, a waitress noticed us and informed us that we could just pick a table and sit down. I was mortified- what a first impression!

    The date actually went very well after that; it turned out that we had a lot in common. We were still talking when the bill came, and were so engrossed in our conversation that we paid and then thoughtlessly got up to leave without bentching! We had walked about two steps out of the restaurant when he turned to me with a horrified look on his face and said, “We forgot to bentch!” I found a bentcher in my purse and we quickly sat down outside to bentch.

    We did have a second date, but not a third.

    #1226840

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Pepper- may I seriously suggest you write a book? Why do it for free if you can make money on it?? The stories are already typed…

    #1226841

    squeak
    Participant

    areivim makes an excellent point there… I volunteer to write a review and a marketing blurb.

    #1226842

    latte
    Member

    My sister was out on a date. A few days later, an acquaintance of my husband told my husband he had something to tell him. He told him that he saw his wife (me) with another man and my head was uncovered. My husband then told him that it was my twin sister he saw.

    #1226843

    I. M. Here
    Member

    latte- just shows that there’s no private place to date. wherever one goes, you’re bound to bump into someone you know. I know all about that…

    #1226844

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    that’s very generous squeak 😉

    #1226845

    chaverim
    Member

    jewishfeminist01: I think you’re supposed to bentch at the same table you eat at.

    By the way, was that guy a chavanist? j/k

    #1226846

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    I assumed they couldn’t go back because someone else already took their table.

    Do you mean “chauvanist”? sheichis?

    #1226847

    chaverim
    Member

    sheichis? did you miss her screen name? LOL

    #1226848

    mickey
    Member

    jewishfeminist02

    was it at a resturant in jerusalem?

    #1226849

    oomis
    Participant

    My sister was out on a date. A few days later, an acquaintance of my husband told my husband he had something to tell him. He told him that he saw his wife (me) with another man and my head was uncovered. My husband then told him that it was my twin sister he saw.

    Thus illustrating once again that loshon hara is a very insidious aveira.

    #1226850

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    mickey- I see you’re not new, but tiz your first CR post. Congrats & welcome! Join us more often

    uh- do we have a match here?

    #1226851

    Yes, it was at a restaurant in Jerusalem. Why do you ask?

    (Btw, it’s spelled “chauvinist.”)

    #1226852

    chaverim
    Member

    WOW, a chauvinist and a feminist. What a combo!

    #1226853

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    jewishfem- mickey was your first date

    #1226854

    Jax
    Member

    ok, time for a Jax date story! today’s story reminded me of it!

    last winter i was in Israel for 3 weeks! while there i was set up with an Israeli girl, who’s parents were American, & they live in Israel! I didn’t know dating spots in Israel & was told to go to some hotel lounge there!(not in yerushalaim;)) It was apparently midterm time in seminary, i was told after & the place was swarming with sem girls! they all came to the hotel lounge to study there! I think all them staring & being all giddy was the only fun part of that date! the date was a snoozer!

    #1226855

    kapusta
    Participant

    Jax, lol. Do boys in general not pay attention on dates? my brother once told me the same thing. 🙂

    *kapusta*

    #1226856

    oomis
    Participant

    the date was a snoozer!

    Sorry to heaer that 🙁

    #1226857

    Jax
    Member

    kapusta: hey we guys do pay attention on dates! but this was just not the best of dates!

    oomis: thanx for the sympathy!

    #1226858

    kapusta
    Participant

    Jax, ok, I guess you’re excused as long as most of the time you pay attention.

    *kapusta*

    #1226859

    Yeah, I got that, just checking. Well, this is pretty awkward…

    FYI, he’s definitely not a chauvinist.

    #1226860

    Never mind, I just spoke to him on the phone and he’s not mickey. We are seeing each other again after all.

    So mickey, what made you guess that this happened in Jerusalem? Are you my secret stalker?

    #1226861

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    jewishfem- you’re breaking an ironclad rule: Never publically talk about your date unless he/she is history

    #1226862

    chaverim
    Member

    WOW! All because of the areivimzehlazeh’s comment to jfem, she called her ex-date, and now she and her non-chauvinist friend are getting back together!! Who even knows where this may lead too… all thanks to the C.R. Crew!

    #1226863

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    I’d like to know how that conversation went.

    “Hi, it’s jewishfem, long time no speak. Before we talk things over, can you tell me: are you mickey from the CR?”

    #1226864

    Haha…yes, well, it hadn’t been such a long time. I just said “hi, how are you” and the like, then casually mentioned “oh, by the way, was that you in the CR…?” but he said he always uses his real name online. I guess he and Daniel Breslauer would really get along.

    Okay, that’s it. No more information until after tomorrow night.

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