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whenever I make a small decision I always feel bad after about what I did…If i bought a hazelnut (and trust me its after about 20 minutes of deciding back and forth) coffee then usually the minute I get into the car I decide that I should have gotten something else….
Why?
Sounds like you place way too much value in unimportant decisions. Its a coffee for goodness sakes!
What I would tell you to do is start focusing on minimizing how much time you give yourself to make such minor decisions (like food and drink and similar). Give yourself a set time on the clock for example 60 seconds or whatever. Nothing way out there…and also accept upon yourself that whatever decision you made is fine and it really isn’t important. It isn’t. Hazelnut, french roast regular? What’s the difference. You like them all just some flavors may taste better or appeal more at other times. But realize that at the end of the day there’s no wrong decision in these areas.
This is a problem.
Probably, if you do not feel comfortable with decisions, it is because your decisions were often criticized, and your desires were considered insignificant. It is important to realize this, so that you can address it by realizing that your feelings and desires are important, and should be the basis of decisions.
Adorable
I don’t mean to diagnose you but do you think it may be a lack of confidence issue? Also are you generally an anxious person or nervous person?
This is why we have good psychiatrists. They are a good bastion of hope for people with what sounds like obsessive compulsive tendencies. Therapy can help people who can not distinguish between normal concern and frivilous connotation.
adorable, maybe move to a small town! Then, you’ll have an easier time making decisions about food, because there’ll be less options..
adorable, I hear you and think it’s totally normal (probably cuz I can be like that sometimes).
What I try to do is think about what I want before I get to the place, and order the first thing that tickles my fancy. I rarely have regrets, but then again this is food that we’re talking about 😉
One of the hardest decisions in life is what drink to buy at the gas station takes me like 5 min and lots of pacing but I’ve never once regretted my decision
you should pray in the beracha of “chonen hadaat” that Hashem should help you make decisions and feel confident with them (big and small).
or maybe you can think to yourself after you start regretting a decision that this is what Hashem wanted me to have and it’s obviously good for me .
hope this helps b”H!
I used to be indecisive also. I’m not sure if I still am or not…
I am also indecisive. I’ve heard that it stems from being center brained because you see both sides of an issue
just swallow it and make a decision that’s what i do whatever happens after will happen anyway
Do you have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)?
You are probably going through tribulation.
thats very interesting about being center brained. being right brained- i dont have a hard time usually making decisions. as a policy i try not to regret decisions and trust Hashem that He led me to the right one, whether its hazlenut or mocha, or between professions. i have heard from chinuch expert that this may be from never having the ability to choose from youth. in allowing our children to make their own trivial decisions (which pajamas would you like to wear? what do you want for lunch?) gives them the foundation and whats more the confidence in subsequent decisions.
Adorable, Life does not end with that decision nor with that day. If you choose this type of coffee today, you can make another choice tomorrow. If you decide to have tuna for lunch today you can decide on egg salad tomorrow. You will always have an opportunity to make another choice another time. Is it possible to look at your choices in that sense? When these choices are not life threatening or life changing is it possible that you can tell yourself that life is full of choices and I can try something else the next time this decision comes up?
Adorable-I can totally identify with you! I am EXACTLY the same way! What I find works for me is that I tell myself that I know whatever decision I make I’ll end up regretting so just take any and it doesn’t matter. it makes me realize why I’m regretting my decision-simply because I ALWAYS regret my decision at some point. Dunno-just what works for me but I have self-confidence issues so that’s another point to take into account as someone else said.
you should think the opposite that you’ll be happy with whatever you have and that’s it
Adorable:
My R”Y once told me that this the Yetzer Hora!
Adorable, if you are like this with coffee, what will it be like for you when it comes to long lasting decisions?
adorable, I’m sorry that you are sad and upset about it. I’m nowhere near as good at helping people cope with things as you are (As you did for me), but I can try..as long as these are just for small decisions, going either way shouldn’t make a drastic change. But more importantly, knowing that you have the ability to make choices, and see positive results from those choices, you should feel happier and more confident about it. I understand that things are difficult for you right now, with the whole job search thing, but hang in there. You are resilient and have the capacity to take on this challenge. And assuming you’re starting you class soon (if you haven’t started already), I hope things will look up for you and you’ll be able to keep busy with good things.
Adorable-
I would suggest you do whatever you can to break that habit right now so that when it comes to finding your bashert it isnt a torturous decision
Adorable, first of all, good for you for setting standards in your job. I am sure I am one of many that impatiently waits for your hatzlacha in the job market.
Secondly, it makes more sense to be more indecisive about the smaller things. The answer to bigger decisions if often more clear cut (black/ white), also these are the kind of decisions that you can ask daas torah or follow your gut (whichever applicable). But smaller decisions are frustrating because they “don’t matter” and are usually more too taste. But often with those decisions you can live with the repercussions anyway…
I have the same problem besides that I’m also indecisive about big decisions. I’m definitely not the most self-confident person around so it probably stems from that…
Great news, adorable! And if I had a choice between a big gulp and a slurpee, I’d go slurpee every time. What flavor was it?
Coke is the best 😉 good choice!
you should think the opposite that you’ll be happy with whatever you have and that’s it
coffee addict I agree!! 😀
another name- noooo get blueeee![wen it’s kosher]..muchhh beterr!
brotherofurs,
Do you mean blue fanta?
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