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I couldn’t find a thread concerning the safety of our children, so I decided to add a topic to the CR about just that. Any tips, questions, advice, etc would be helpful.
I wanted to start off on the topic of bicycle safety. I’m not sure if parents in New Jersey are aware of this, but anyone operating a bicycle under the age of 17 is required by LAW to wear a safety helmet. If a police officer catches an individual breaking this law, they can fine the parental guardians up to $100.
Do NOT feed small children (even “older” small children) grapes, frankfurters, popcorn, nuts, and especially HARD CANDIES, because it is a serious choking hazard, and just because your child has managed to eat it before, does not mean it cannot chalilah cause a tragedy, lo aleinu. I know someone who gave her two year old a grape, and the story has a very sad ending. Be especially watchful when your child is in someone else’s home, and make sure Bubbies and Zaydies, and the “candyman” do not give your child something he should not have just because THEY don’t think it’s a big deal.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not leave your young child under the supervision of a slightly older child (even seven or eight) and assume they will be responsible for a two year old. I see this all the time in ym neighborhood. I have lovely neighbors, but not one of them watches their children in a safe way. I have myself retrieved 18 month old babies who have wandered off and the parents had no idea. In one case, the baby CROSSED the street and we found him as we returned from a succos meal. The parents were in their succah and totally oblivious. This is a really sore point with me, as you can tell, becaue I see the sakana all the time, and I am tired of being “the grouchy old lady on the block” who doesn’t mind ehr own business. When it comes to the safety of a child, I cannot turn away. And I cannot call CPS, either, because I won’t be moser on a yid. The kids are otherwise, well-cared for, clean, happy. I just feel they are supervised very poorly.
R’ Avigdor Miller ztz”l was a very strong advocate for safety, and especially the safety of our children. He said when grandparents have their grandchildren over to their house, before they hug them and kiss them, their first obligation is to make sure that there is nothing in their home which could present a sakanah.
Unfortunately, too many people are lax in the supervision of their children. What they don’t realize is that tragic incidents/accidents do happen c”v if we are not vigilant…
I have seen mothers walking with baby carriages, beginning to cross AGAINST THE LIGHT with the carriage sticking out ahead of them. It is so scary because cars are always zooming through intersections, trying to make the light!
We should all be more vigilant in watching over our precious children that Hashem has so graciously granted to us.
There was a letter to the editor in the Yated of this week from a lady whose child fell into the toilet bowl head first. She cautions all parents to make sure the bathroom door is always closed.
I can’t repeat strong enough the importance of wearing helmets when cycling. I worked with special needs adults and one young man was born quite normal. He fell off his bike. Was not wearing a helmet and suffered brain damage…When my son went out without a helmet I took away his bike for 2 weeks. He soon got the message!
The worst thing a parent can say “If only”
I also feel strongly about keeping cleaning materials and medication safe. Keep it under lock and key.
Something else regarding safety which needs stressing, especially now that school is starting: Many parents participate in car pools when no bus service is available. That is great, except when they fill the cars beyond capacity and not everyone is wearing a seat belt. If c”v there is an accident, anyone who is not belted in could get seriously hurt and hurt others in the car.
Please be makpid on seat belts! No one ever expects to get into a car accident, but if it happens, it could be the difference between life and death!
Also-
–rocking backwards on chairs. Someone who worked with special needs children once told me about someone who was born normal, rocked back on his chair,fell and hit his head causing brain injury….
–Playing with rubberbands. It is true about it poking someone’s eye out. Be careful what they play with!
you can cause a mild eye injury with rubber bands, but you can’t poke someone’s eye out
Children should also not play with balloons if they are too young to understand not to out it to their mouths. it is a suffocation hazard, because it can be drawn into the lungs. Choking is a special fear of mine vis a vis small children.
feivel- do you want to experiment to find out? I have some rubberbands…. A danger is still a danger?
Apropos to the Yomim Tovim – How about children who run around shul inside and outside unsupervised?
The fathers are davening and not watching what they are doing and the children run amok. I know it might make things easier on the mother not to have to deal with the child at home, but at what price?
I personally know of a child who broke his front teeth on Shabbos doing something careless while playing in shul. And I have heard a story of a child who was riding down a banister on outside steps while the father was inside davening. That child died.
I have a neighbor who is severly handicapped cuz when he was a baby, his mother was doing a few things at once and dropped the baby- the floor was ceramic tiles. now I know people that won’t put ceramic tiles in their house- but no!!! get the message right a mother must be more careful when holding her baby! Same with everything else here- don’t say I’ll watch my kids playing with rubberbands, or not wearing a helmet…
B”H this story had a happy ending, but members of our shul almost lost their three year old daughter when she was not being supervised carefully and ran out of the shul, unbeknownst to her parents, and was hit by a car as she darted into the street. She was in the hospital for quite a while, but chasdei Hashem, she survived with few bad after effects.
There is a nice Jewish music CD which is a good reminder to both parents and children about all kinds of safety issues and does it in a FUN way. It is called “Safety on Torah Island”. The songs are very catchy and it’s so funny, it keeps even my older kids chuckling. Everyone with children should hear it.
NY Mom: there also is another children’s tape(don’t know if a CD was made of it) valled ”the Saftey tape” in my days it was a popular kids tape!
Yes, Jax. You are right. I have both and the Safety one you mentioned is in CD. And that one is really funny! It talks about pool safety, what a babysitter should know, fire safety, and all kinds of issues in a hilarious way. Thanks for mentioning it.
“I have seen mothers walking with baby carriages, beginning to cross AGAINST THE LIGHT with the carriage sticking out ahead of them. It is so scary because cars are always zooming through intersections, trying to make the light!”
To add to this, moms please when you’re waiting for the light please please make sure your stroller is not sticking out into the street!!
And to all kids on bikes, don’t speed into the street!! Slow the bike and check for turning cars before crossing. Last Purim I was making a right turn and out of nowhere two kids riding one bike came flying into the street. I was turning pretty slow so the bike only scraped against my car, and thank g-d nothing else happened but had I been going one drop faster chas v’shalom…
And how about those dangerous chemicals for ex st moritz or the other one i forgot the name. I am terrified of these things. MY mother has a friend that her baby crawled into a cabinet while the babysitter didnt see and got the stuff onto him and he needed major grafting and was in the hospital for months. Mommies it is not worth the pain and aggrivation if something cv happens. Keep everything under lock and do the cleaning when the kids arent home.
Be careful with the strings on blinds. Especially near cribs and beds. I know of more than one incident of children getting the cords wrapped around their neck. B”H in the cases that I know of they were found in time, but there are unfortunately many cases where they were not found in time.
The strings of blinds are an issue, but any long cord hanging is dangerous with small children. I think many of us know of the sad incident recently, when Mike Tyson’s 4-yr-old daughter died when she was found with her head stuck through a loop in the cord of an exercise machine.
Jose, the blind cords are a special hazard. Climbing children should never be allowed to be unsupervised for even one second, and the cords should be raised out of the way. The same goes for strings on jackets, sweaters, hoods, etc. These are all strangulation hazards if they are long enough to wrap even halfway around the neck of a child (imagine the child getting caught between something and the string pressing on the carotid, even if not around the neck). Chas V’sholom.
The dangerous chemical might be Easy Off, Mr. Muscle, St. Moritz, Shumanit(?), or Draino, bleach, Windex, etc. the list goes on and on. Cleaning products of ANY type must be kept on high shelves or in a locked cabinet that is childproof. PERIOD.
The strings on jackets can also be a hazard when exiting a school bus. If a string c”v gets stuck in the closing doors of a school bus and the driver pulls away…!!!
No one should know of it.
This also applies to mittens which are attached to a child’s coat, not with clips, but with one long string which goes through both sleeves of the coat. Better to lose a mitten than to have to worry about such a possibility!
Right you are about strings and a school bus, NY Mom, and add to that, scarves. I taught my kids to wear their scarves INSIDE their jacket, with nothing dangling outside. The style of wearing scarves loose, may be very pretty and fashionable, but it is a real potential sakana.
To Jax & NYmom,
While tapes are a good reminder, there is nothing that takes the place of an official Safety course
Health – I have never heard of a general safety course and I personally don’t know anyone who has taken one. There are CPR and EMT courses, defensive driving courses, pool life-saving courses, but I have never heard of a general safety-for-parenting course.
I think it is much more realistic to read published articles, any hand-outs from pediatricians/dentists, fire safety brochures, the “pool rules” every so often when going to the pool, listen to Torah tapes regarding safety (like R’ Avigdor Miller), etc. to make ourselves and our children aware of different safety issues. And then to reinforce it with our own actions in our home.
and just add a dose of common sense.
Mepal – True! Plus Siyata D’Shmaya
Unfortunately, accidents happen when parents are watching and being careful too…but its more likely to happen when parents aren’t watching.
Be extra careful where you put knives in your kitchen.
Never leave a toddler and infant alone in a room together.
havesomeseichel.
yes rubberbands can cause a mild eye injury, as i said.
they cannot cause serious injury, as i said.
but i did not say that minor injuries should not be avoided also if possible.
A mother went to feed her baby and left the 3 year old that doesn’t know how to swim with the 12 year old sister in the pool. The 3 year old went down the water slide and was under water when the lifeguard took her out. She was not conscious her face was blue and she was not breathing! B”H a woman in the pool had just finished taking a first aids course in hatzalah was able to make CPR and she revived the child. B”H the child didn’t suffer brain damage or anything major. But 1 or 2 more minutes under water and had the woman not completed her course the child would be in a very different situation today! The mother should not have left her with the 12 year old sister in the pool!!
Good Morning everyone…
a-if a child cannot sit inside shul with his father it is not the place for him ..my children are bet 8 and 9 yrs old when they start going to shul.and they have to promise they will sit next to Tati-if not they stay home for the next few weeks. and those who claim ‘chinuch’ the street is not the kind of chinuch I was looking for!
b-I am a car AND carriage driver…when I cross I turn my carriage to the side so Iam in the front to check out traffic…so many times I am tempted to ‘touch’ the carriage just to give this mother a lesson…
and one more thing when waithing to cross DONT wait in the middle of the street so if a car has to drive thru its an obstacle course because there are people and carriages that have no patience (to get to the world to come)-to get across and the car can hardly drive thru and on the two way streets sometimes there are waitin cars to make a left and a car cannot get by on the side because someone is standing there!!!!!!!!!
c-on the oven cleanrs I can only say my daughte burnt her cornea many years ago…we are still ‘busy’ with it today! and that was WITH locking the bottle and putting out of reach!!!!!!!!!
SIYATA DISHMAYA is the name of the game!
To NY mom,
The ARC & AHA offer courses in CPR & first aid. The ARC even gives a course in babysitting safety. There are orgs. that give courses in Fire safety. It’s not enough to read pamphlets, you also need “hands-on”. After you take these courses, then you can refresh your memory with reading. This is called “hishtadlus”.
Health – Yes, it is important to know CPR and first aid, and every parent should take such a course. However, I don’t think a course can teach all the safety information that a frum parent needs to know. There are some dangers that are specific to the frum community which must be brought to people’s awareness through communal outreach.
For instance, Chanuka and Pesach time there is an increase of burns in the frum community, because of insufficient precautions taken with the menorah or during bedikas/biur chametz. This needs to be brought to the attention of all frum parents and they must be made aware of the seriousness of the consequences of laxity in this regard.
And why is it that children playing outside of shul unsupervised is so prevalent?
The general attitude of the UTTER IMPORTANCE of safety is LACKING, and it is that which needs to be instilled into the frum communities. It shouldn’t just be a parent here and there who is “overly cautious”. As Mepal said above: common sense. Every Rav of every shul, every yeshiva, and community organizations need to bring these issues to the fore and make common sense COMMON!
Aside for children on bicycles stopping for lights and not speeding into the street, they should also be careful to slow down and check for cars by driveways and garages. I am always nervous to back my car out of my driveway.
To NYmom,
Every safety issue has been addressed by multiple different orgs. What you are saying regarding the frum community isn’t really accurate. The frum community just has different applications. If you know fire safety -then you can apply it in any situation, eg. Shabbos or Chanukah licht, you don’t need to learn specifically about Chanukah or Pesach. If people would take these courses -they would know how to apply them in many different situations. You can’t make this the responsibility of the Rabonnim, not everything that happens in the frum community is their responsibilty. Maybe the Rabonnim could mention once in awhile to learn safety and take safety courses, but it isn’t their responsibilty any more than it is for them to make sure that you lock your door at night.
Health – You seem to think that taking a course is the be-all and end-all of all safety issues. I just disagree with that.
As a parent, I am being realistic about what will raise awareness in the frum oilam. How many parents do you know who have taken courses from ARC and AHA? I will answer my own question: almost none. If the people don’t care about safety or don’t make it a priority, believe me, they are not taking time or money to go to a course about it.
I also did not say that it is the Rabbonim’s responsibility to make sure parents watch their children or do bedikas chametz in a safe way. If that is what you thought, please re-read my post. I am talking about RAISING AWARENESS of the importance of safety and prevention and creating a general attitude among the frum oilam that it is unacceptable to be lax in these areas. Whatever it takes to raise awareness should be and must be done.
And yes, you DO need to say to people that the menorah is a fire hazard and make sure that it is on something stable and make sure that the baby can’t reach up and pull it down. And the proof that it is necessary to do so: there is an increase in burns in religious homes around Chanuka-time year after year! To prevent this from happening you don’t need to take a course. All you need is for parents to be aware that this could seriously harm their child and to apply a little foresight and seichel in setting up the menorah.
If people didn’t have the general attitude of “What’s the big deal?” and would rather have the attitude of “Better be safe than sorry”, then this wouldn’t be an issue at all.
I think most people ARE careful with safety. Including religious holiday however when you have so many people lighting chanuka menorahs etc. An accident can happen. So everyone has to be aware and be cautious because most people do not give children access to the candles or matches. So what we need is to be EXTRA careful!!
To NYmom,
I can see your point on Rabonnim making people more aware. But, if they don’t do it, how about you? You can start with your friends and family -forget strangers on the net. And I don’t think taking a course is the end-all, but I believe it’s the foundation. If you have a solid foundation you can build on it. I really don’t believe you can get a solid foundation by doing your own learning. While you are correct in saying that a lot of safety issues is common sense, people don’t have this sense due to the fact they were never trained to think this way. A course helps people focus on awareness and proper action. For example – You are heating something on the stove (like oil) and it ignites. What do you do? Some people might say (and it does make sense) to leave the house immediately and contact the FD. But, in Fire Safety they say you should try to put it out in one of 3 ways. This is but one example that both options make sense, but that one is more correct than the other!
Its Just that the houses built in NY and NJ are all wood so they can be on fire very fast! Chas ve shalom! Maybe people should have small fire extinguishers in their kitchens?
safety, safety, safety, we surely have to be able to take care of our children the right way, it is never enough how much we have to be on top of the kids.. it is not only talking about it, but do it. i know a mother that is always talking about it… but in reality she is not on top of the situation….. get to it and work on it
Mazca I watch my kids!
Health: You make a good point. If people “were never trained to think this way. A course helps people focus on awareness and proper action.” Just good luck in getting people to take a course!
I have taken CPR a few times in the past and everyone could use that.
But I think you underestimate the far-reaching influence of the YWN CR. More people than you know read what is written here and just having this thread is helpful.
To NY mom,
So tell me why won’t people take courses? Because it costs money and they have nothing to show for it? People will spend tons of money on things like houses, cars, etc. but they won’t take a course that could save their one’s life because they won’t get any attention from people about it like their fancy car? Or is there another reason?
Health: There are so many types of people and even more reasons for what they do. I can only conjecture on this, but here goes.
1- Safety is not cool. It’s not in. Safety is not popular. A raaya: How many people have contributed to this thread?
2- People are lazy. They have nothing compelling them to do so. A CPR course is not required to get a discount on your car insurance or whatever, so they won’t do it.
3- People don’t part with $ money easily unless it’s something they really want. They really want that car for whatever reason, so they are willing to pony up the $.
4- They don’t see the need for it. When something bad happens to someone else, they don’t take it personally. People tend to think, “Those things happen to others, not to me” – until it happens to them.
5- It is not convenient to take these things too seriously. I take safety seriously. I can hardly ever participate in carpools, because of baby car seats and not being able to over-stuff my minivan. So I have to go pick up my kids every time by myself. Very inconvenient. I lightly tell others, “Oh, I’m just a safety nut about these things!”
Shouldn’t we all be “safety nuts” when it comes to our CHILDREN and our own lives?
I could probably sit here and come up with more reasons and so could you. But right now this is people’s attitudes. So Hatzoloh will continue to warn the public every summer about pool safety, and every Purim about drinking and driving, and every Chanuka about fire safety, etc., etc., etc. And I hope that the oilam will take these warnings seriously and no one should know of tragic, but preventable accidents.
I think people don’t like to think about bad things happening to their loved ones. They want to block out the possibility. They take precautions to stay safe, but remain optimistic that no one will get hurt.
Cest la vie: I agree with what you are saying, but only to a certain extent.
Just ask oomis1105. See post #2 in this thread.
Some people are a little too “easy going”.
NY Mom, I’m just saying that some people don’t take first aid courses because they don’t want to think about being in an emergency situation. It’s frightening. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t careful or take safety precautions. And I’m not justifying them either. I have taken first aid and CPR courses and read up on health and safety. I’m just bringing up another reason why people don’t do these things.
Besides taking courses of CPR and first aid common sense is important. But tips on how to be safe is very important as well. A lot if things are not so obvious like seat belts.
So maybe someone can post some tips.
Kids should know their complete home address, telephone number including area code and parents’ first and last names.
If kids are old enough to answer the phone, they should know how to call 9-1-1 or Hatzoloh. Hatzoloh’s # should be posted on/near the phone.
Kids should be taught never to reveal any personal (their name, school, age, etc.) or family information over the phone unless a parent has given permission.
To mybat,
There are books and books written on safety in many different areas. If you have a specific question, please post.
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