April 3, 2009 4:32 pm at 4:32 pm #874748
AOB, they didn’t dress for tznius, they dressed for the simple reason that as a kings daughter, it is completely unacceptable to dress in anything less than modest. and when a person thinks of a princesses clothing nice, good looking (modest!) clothing comes to mind.
and, I think I would be a little bit happier if people who did NOT want to dress to impress people, would if it meant their clothes would be a little “better”.
About the arab part, (sorry) I said that the religious arab women wouldn’t dress in anything other than their shmatas so we, religious jewish women (lehavdil) are willing to dress in clothing thats not so perfect?April 5, 2009 2:31 am at 2:31 am #874749
ames: my impression of princesses…from both, i think. you think in real life rulers were great? most of the time they were pretty corrupt. they killed out their own families for power, for example. i don’t know so much about princesses, but somehow i don’t think they were perfect people & then changed so much once they became queens.
aussieboy: 😉 i know, right? also, women are holier – that’s why they don’t need to daven 3 times a day 😉
kapusta: did ANYONE in the days of princesses dress that immodestly? even if not as fancy clothes, nobody walked around like they do today. so why princesses?April 5, 2009 8:04 am at 8:04 am #874751
AOB, it’s true when you say that people did not fress as immodestly as they do today. That’s due to the general moral decline but there’s a difference between the way a princess dresses and the way just anyone dressed. And, princesses are always regarded as refined people.April 7, 2009 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #874753
Something nice that I thought might work here:
As if you were
In the middle
Of the sea,
As if you were
By the merest
You are.April 7, 2009 8:02 pm at 8:02 pm #874754
mepal- excellentApril 7, 2009 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #874756
For some reason, that one always hits a heartstring somewhere in there. I should really be reading it every day before i pray!April 7, 2009 8:24 pm at 8:24 pm #874757
niceApril 17, 2009 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #874758
…i’m about to go to the levaya of a friend’s mom, who was divorced & remarried, the person’s father doesn’t live here & i don’t think he’s even jewish…
i feel so horrible for them but what am i supposed to say??? yeah i know just be there for them but i’m not SUCH close friends that i do much w/ them, what can i do??April 17, 2009 6:47 pm at 6:47 pm #874759
don’t talk. better to say nothing than to say something stupid. most people don’t think like that – but trust me.
after my uncle passed away people thought they were helping and i could quote you the STUPIDEST things in the world that people said. and i’m sure they all meant well.
i think i have to stop reading here – i couldn’t not post when i read that – i’d feel too bad for your friend if no one tipped you off.April 17, 2009 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #874760
AOB, assuming the person is your age, dont say anything right away, give it a few days and then when you go to be menachem avel talk about normal every day stuff. About a year ago, someone (never especially close with, but friendly) that I know lost her mother l”a, and someone said (which I thought made a lot of sense) shes young and doesn’t want to talk about her mother to someone who she was never close with, and it makes it a lot easier if you go when her good friends are there.
moish, someone who lost her mother when she was pretty young (not the same person that I was talking about in the comment to AOB) said during shiva, when she was clearly sitting on a low chair, wearing torn clothing, someone asked her what she was doing there. I know someone else who is a much older single who was very close with her mother and took very good care of her (which everyone knew). During the shiva, someone told her now that her mother was nifteres, she can get married. Yes, people say stupid things.
May there be no more suffering like this in klal yisrael anymore.April 17, 2009 8:47 pm at 8:47 pm #874761
i just saw moish’s post before i went, but didn’t have time to post. thanks guys.
there were more people than expected there, i didn’t have a chance to even talk so i didn’t really have to deal with it (yet). it’s good though, cuz my default seems to be silence. when i have nothing to say, i don’t usually chatter thoughtlessly like some people, i just sorta go mute. so if you hadn’t said anything, don’t worry, i wouldn’t have done anything stupid 😉
i guess i’ll go with act normal, don’t say much about it. i was more worried about if there were less people there, but there were a lot so it wasn’t so hard.April 19, 2009 3:47 am at 3:47 am #874762
AOB:I think it means more to the person sitting shiva that you’re there for them then that you make meaningless conversation.April 19, 2009 3:54 am at 3:54 am #874763
mepal: yup, thanks, i’m gonna keep that in mind.April 19, 2009 4:02 am at 4:02 am #874764
an open book: just being there & them knowing you care is all that you gatta do! don’t talk to much by the shiva!April 19, 2009 4:08 am at 4:08 am #874765
yeah, i was just going to say. everyone’s different. my friend’s father died and he was dying to go out and smoke and talk and be normal and have normal conversations and stuff. but when my cousins were sitting shiva they couldn’t take even a drop of that. any little thing anyone said to distract them got them very upset.
i think part of it is how sudden or shocking the death was. my uncle died suddenly, while my friend’s father was sick for years.April 19, 2009 4:29 am at 4:29 am #874766
yeah, makes sense i guess. i think this person was sick for a while…not sure though, don’t know the details. anyway i think i would just go with what they want to do & talk about, wait for them to initiate conversation & stuff.April 19, 2009 4:33 am at 4:33 am #874767
yeah that’s what you’re supposed to do anyway.April 19, 2009 4:41 am at 4:41 am #874768
rightMay 12, 2009 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #874769squeakParticipant
Good friends come to look for you when you ignore them. Especially insecure friends. If you are good friends with Trouble, then you’ve brought it down on yourself.May 12, 2009 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #874770
that belongs in Inspiring Quotes- written by squeak(TM)May 12, 2009 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #874771squeakParticipant
Don’t you end the relationship by saying, “Let’s be friends”?May 12, 2009 9:49 pm at 9:49 pm #874772
ames- I won’t tell your husband…May 12, 2009 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #874773
ames, old joke…
Shut Up and Trouble were playing hide-and-go-seek one day. It was Shut Ups turn, and he was looking around, but nothing doing. A cop sees him looking around in nooks and crannies and says “whats your name?” “Shut Up” “Are you looking for trouble?” 😉
I’ll wait here while you groan.May 13, 2009 12:28 am at 12:28 am #874774
kapusta: nice try but really, it was Trouble’s turn. & when the cop asked Shut Up, he said “no,Trouble is looking for me”.
i know it – don’t forget i was in 3rd grade more recently than anyone else here 😉May 13, 2009 2:01 am at 2:01 am #874775postsemgirlMember
AOB- I teach 3rd grade and let me tell you the jokes get worse…May 13, 2009 2:18 am at 2:18 am #874776
postsemgirl: yeah don’t worry, i have younger siblings.May 13, 2009 2:46 am at 2:46 am #874777postsemgirlMember
lol! I know what you meanMay 13, 2009 3:00 am at 3:00 am #874778May 22, 2009 1:07 am at 1:07 am #874779
why do people assume that people who are better than others don’t have feelings??May 22, 2009 1:26 am at 1:26 am #874780
an open book: what do you mean?! more details please!May 22, 2009 2:07 am at 2:07 am #874781
Jax, this is probably more of a girl thing but if I read her right its, I have problem A and my neighbor has problem A for a longer time. I talk about it to my neighbor and she feels bad, because she has the same thing, but I dont have any regard for her feelings.
AOB, did I get it right?May 22, 2009 2:20 am at 2:20 am #874782
kapusta: i sorta get it! thanx!May 22, 2009 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #874783
kapusta: i don’t think so, you kinda confused me there.
i have this teacher, she sometimes makes generalizations like “i’m also not so good at this, everyone struggles with this, etc”, including everyone in her statements a lot. & i deal with other stuff but i’m really not like that. also i’ll sometimes say something in class or whatever & she’ll be like, “well most people aren’t like that, they’re not up to it” (& i think what i said was pretty practical, she just didn’t fully understand what i was saying.)
the whole time she’s saying “everyone struggles with this…” she’s sorta trying to make them feel like you aren’t weird or bad or different, everyone’s like that. but at the same time she makes me feel like a freak for not being like that at all! nobody wants to hear how they are completely different than everyone else in the room, even if it’s a good thing, it feels very lonely.May 22, 2009 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #874784
She makes generalizations about herself or you? Who is she to tell you what you’re not good at? btw, I lost you on the rest of it.May 22, 2009 8:21 pm at 8:21 pm #874785
sorry, i wasn’t sure if it was clear. she says stuff to the class, generalizing about the class, teenagers, people in general, i don’t know. she’s talking to everyone, saying how everyone’s not so good at this or that. then i might say something, & she sort of says yeah but waves it off as the exception, like i’m different than everyone else (in a better sort of way.)
was that at all better? what else wasn’t understandable?May 31, 2009 2:43 pm at 2:43 pm #874786EarlyBirdMember
I’m not so sure that is true. I had a bunch of kids over on Shavous and they were eating each other alive!!May 31, 2009 2:55 pm at 2:55 pm #874787ambushParticipantJune 1, 2009 1:18 am at 1:18 am #874788
ames: most adults don’t really play board/or with toys games i guess! & besides which adult doesn’t like food! 😉
p.s. the CR misses you!June 1, 2009 2:52 am at 2:52 am #874789June 2, 2009 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #874790
Why is it that when Jax and noitallmr get together they eat pots of Chulent???
Answer: coz were both addicted to the stuff!!!June 2, 2009 5:43 pm at 5:43 pm #874791
Now that was deeeeeep!June 2, 2009 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #874792
mepal: what does deep mean in the U.S? 😉June 2, 2009 11:43 pm at 11:43 pm #874793
noitallmr: addicted ain’t the word! nice post there buddy!June 3, 2009 12:41 am at 12:41 am #874794
Jax: just stating the truth! Enjoy!June 3, 2009 1:47 am at 1:47 am #874795
DEEP QUESTION OF THE DAY:
A story I once heard, I’m not sure if its true, but it definitely has a point.
A man was walking down the street and sees someone is building a house. He decides he doesnt like the color brick so he finds the owner and tells him. “Why should I listen to you? you are simply walking down the street when I am investing thousands of dollars into this house. Why should your opinion override mine?”
“Its the outside of the house, its for me, shouldn’t I enjoy it?”
Who do you really spend your money on?June 3, 2009 1:59 am at 1:59 am #874796
Of course not, but generally people live inside their home, not outside. What purpose does having an outside that spells M-O-N-E-Y help you?June 3, 2009 2:05 am at 2:05 am #874797
are we talking about the color brick or the style/size of the house? how is one color more showy than another?June 3, 2009 2:09 am at 2:09 am #874798
AOB, the outside decor of the house. One color over another doesnt spell M-O-N-E-Y but if someone pays attention to the details just to show off, thats a problem.June 3, 2009 2:13 am at 2:13 am #874799
ames: your 100& right! but some people go over the top in trying to impress other people with money and materialistic stuff so this story is just trying to portray the foolishness in it…
“how is one color more showy than another? “
Well black is not showy because it’s nothing…in other words green lets say is a colour but when somethings not green or any other colour it’s automatically black coz everything without a colour is black if you see what I’m saying…
Um just forget about it!!!! 😉June 3, 2009 2:22 am at 2:22 am #874800
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