September 20, 2011 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #599492
As a single guy you get used to doing everything for yourself i am gonna do my laundry tonight, ladies do your husbands ever do a load? how about washing the dishes?September 20, 2011 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #1074837PeacemakerMember
No.September 20, 2011 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #1074838BaalHaboozeParticipant
I wash the dishes very often, and wife appreciates that! Laundry -never. That’s one of the things I stuck into the t’noyim.September 20, 2011 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #1074839kgh5771Participant
All males and females in my home do laundry and dishes.September 20, 2011 3:15 pm at 3:15 pm #1074840anonymrsParticipant
no and no, but in his defense, he is never home to do laundry, and most of the time he eats and runs.September 20, 2011 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm #1074841the.nurseMember
My hubby always helps with the household chores 🙂September 20, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1074842popa_bar_abbaParticipant
The gemara speaks about women doing laundry.
(Sheesh, am I going back to such poor trolling?)September 20, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1074843shlishiMember
My goodness! After the feminists started demanding to do men’s work, now they want men to do women’s work!?
This is what Paraoh did to us in Mitzrayim. Let’s not go backwards.September 20, 2011 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm #1074844gavra_at_workParticipant
Yes to dishes, no to laundry (not for lack of trying, though. I just don’t do it well).September 20, 2011 3:27 pm at 3:27 pm #1074845Sam2Participant
PBA: That is just because it is Orcha D’milsa, not a Chiyuv.
Shlishi: Find me any Posek that says it’s Assur to help your wife out around the house. Better yet, find me anyone who says it’s not a Chiyuv when she needs it.September 20, 2011 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #1074846MiddlePathParticipant
I look forward to the opportunity when I G-d willing get married to help my wife do any household chore that would make her life easier.September 20, 2011 3:35 pm at 3:35 pm #1074847
Gavra does your wife actually buy that line?September 20, 2011 3:44 pm at 3:44 pm #1074848sof davarMember
I help with everything but laundry. This was agreed upon before we were married.
I had to do it while in yeshiva. I have since made a Baruch Shepitarani.September 20, 2011 3:50 pm at 3:50 pm #1074849BaalHaboozeParticipant
Advice someone told me when I was a chosson:
Be quick to volunteer to do the dishes,….then break that first dish…..
🙂September 20, 2011 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #1074850MDGParticipant
We share the laundry responsibility. There was a time when I did it all myself, when were first married and used a laundromat.September 20, 2011 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #1074851gavra_at_workParticipant
Gavra does your wife actually buy that line?
It is not a “line”. I can load the machine, no problem (and do so, every now and then). Where it gets difficult is when you start drying some things, hanging others, and some dry for 10 minutes and pull out to hang.
I am not good at hanging 🙁 (Ittisa reads this, so she will agree)September 20, 2011 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #1074852mythoughtsParticipant
My wife lessens my financial burden by working a very tough job so I help her with what ever she needs. Nothing is beneath me.September 20, 2011 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #1074853aries2756Participant
Husbands do what they and their wives decide is fair and appropriate according to what works for them as a couple. There are no set rules. The more a husband helps the more he is appreciated and respected. This of course fills the wife with more love that she continues to shower on her husband. It keeps the cycle running. Especially if the wife is working and the husband’s hours allow him to be home at more convenient times.
If anyone thinks that any job is beneath them, they should remember who their partner is and how much they are supposed to love and respect them. So each are required to do for the other and there are no jobs that are beneath one or the other. What ever works best for the couple is what should be done, and no one should comment or butt into their arrangement.September 20, 2011 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #1074854Queen BeeMember
Considering that I forget the laundry and it sits in the washing machine for hours ready to be put in the dryer until someone reminds me…yeah, I think in my case if my hubby did the laundry, it would be almost lifesaving…
Aries, thumbs up!September 20, 2011 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #1074855
When my wife was a full time stay at home, most of the household work fell to her. Now that she is out working, I help pick up the slack with housework which includes dishes, laundry, shopping and cleaning.September 20, 2011 4:40 pm at 4:40 pm #1074856LBKParticipant
in a two-income house, why is it the wife’s responsibility to do laundry? It only works that way, when the husband works and the wife stays to take of the house and children, but if the wife works too, how can she also be responsible for everything in the house?!?!?September 20, 2011 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #1074857
This thread reminds me of the story (whether it is true, or an urban legend, I dont know) they say over about the steipler z’l. An avreich approached him explaining how his house is always “flying” until the last minute on a friday afternoon, and how his wife cant seem to go any faster (seems he was looking for a nice way to get his wife to move faster). The steipler z’l is reported to have told him “grab a broom” (translated from the yiddish).September 20, 2011 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm #1074858YW Moderator-80Member
its trueSeptember 20, 2011 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #1074859bptParticipant
Sure we do laundry.. July and AugustSeptember 20, 2011 4:59 pm at 4:59 pm #1074860am yisrael chaiParticipant
This reminds me of the story of a yingerman telling his rosh yeshiva that his wife wanted him to take out the garbage, but he felt this role is beneath a Torah scholar.
The R”Y agreed with his talmid.
That evening, the R”Y came to the talmid’s house to take out the garbage…September 20, 2011 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #1074861mommamia22Participant
We only have two machines in our building for 70 families, so you can imagine the long lines and dragging bags up and down with kids. What a nuisance. We finally started sending our laundry out. I either drop it at a laundromat or send it out. The one time, recently, that I attempted to do it myself, I took my eyes off my little one briefly to load the machine and the next thing I knew, he was SCREAMING that his fingers got caught in a door! So now I’m back to dropping it off. The dishes are mostly me, with my husband helping only occasionally.September 20, 2011 5:01 pm at 5:01 pm #1074862mewhoParticipant
i like the break a dish story. just make sure its not from the expensive china.September 20, 2011 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #1074863MiddlePathParticipant
aries, I like what you said. In my mind, a great marriage is when a spouse doesn’t even consider it a “chore” when doing something that will help the other. It should be considered a privilege. A husband should cherish the opportunity to do something for his wife that will make her happy or her life easier. Making her happy should make him happy.September 20, 2011 5:09 pm at 5:09 pm #1074864photogenicMember
Admittedly I am one of those random people that like doing household chores…laundry included 🙂September 20, 2011 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #1074865mommamia22Participant
I don’t understand the story.
What was the point that the rosh yeshiva wanted to make? That the talmid is not a Torah scholar or that he didn’t consider himself one, or that he is one and that it isn’t beneath him (then why agree that it’s beneath a Torah scholar)? Sorry, I’m confused.September 20, 2011 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #1074866
“The R”Y agreed with his talmid.”
I heard that the R”Y was Rav Gifter Z’l.September 20, 2011 6:20 pm at 6:20 pm #1074867
“What was the point that the rosh yeshiva wanted to make?”
I interpret the lesson as “dont be a tzadik on your wifes cheshbon”.September 20, 2011 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #1074868miritchkaMember
My husband helps around the house all the time. Laundry is one thing that i wont even ask him to do though.September 20, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #1074869am yisrael chaiParticipant
Sometimes a person can learn better through osmosis by observing actions rather than by being given mussar.
The R”Y saw that the talmid felt so adamantly that it was beneath his kavod to do “menial” tasks. But the R”Y felt differently.
Imagine the talmid’s dismay to see his beloved R”Y taking out his banana peels.
I imagine the talmid absorbed the lesson well.
(A ??? should not walk around with stains on his clothing, but that’s a different principle than helping one’s wife.)
Interesting to note, that the home is a “mikdash miat ???? ???.”
The ?????? saw it as a supreme privilege to do any work related to the ??? ?????, even the “menial.” Non-kohanim were not allowed to do this “menial” work.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
In addition, helping usually increases ???? ??? and is great ????? for the kids if there are any there.September 20, 2011 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #1074870a maminParticipant
When I got married my husband taught me how to wash the laundry. Now I would never let him do the laundry,I do all of it myself. I feel he can help with other things when necessary. We are both working and certain chores should not be done by men.I guess it depends on how picky you are with your laundry…September 20, 2011 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #1074871shmoelMember
Taking out the garbage is not a woman’s job per se. Doing the laundry is. Thus incomparable.September 20, 2011 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #1074872ha ha ha haMember
each to their own!!
don’t quite get the point of this thread?!September 20, 2011 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #1074873anonymrsParticipant
shmoel, why is doing laundry a womans job? and what makes something a womans job?September 20, 2011 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #1074874
The point is don’t take your wife for granted she does so much to make your life easier, have some appreciation this from a single guy who doesn’t have someone to make clean clothes automatically appear as if by magic. I’m not complaining but it seems some married guys have it very soft.September 20, 2011 8:06 pm at 8:06 pm #1074875chanieMember
There is a story they tell. true or not, of the chassidishe chosid who was having sholom bayis issues. He went to his Rebbe and told him, “I try every segulah there is for sholom bayis including folding my talis right before Havdalah”. The Rebbe replied, “Did you once take out the garbage after Shabbos”?
In my home, my husband is self employed and works from home while I do volunteer work. In order to make things easier for me, he does the dishes, laundry and makes dinner. The only thing he requests is that I separate the light, white and dark laundry. I really appreciate and love him.September 20, 2011 8:08 pm at 8:08 pm #1074876bptParticipant
Could we change directions for a moment?
Ladies, are there any “husband” jobs that you do?
(And don’t say “everything”.)September 20, 2011 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #1074877Yoin from BPMember
I may be starting a new minhag; but since my extraordinary wife bakes 6.5# of flour for challa every single Friday morning; I buy both of us a nice breakfast and we eat it together while the dough is rising or in the oven. And we are doing this for many years already.September 20, 2011 8:14 pm at 8:14 pm #1074878aidel_maidelParticipant
if I was forcing my husband to do things I wouldnt choose laundry- thats an easy task (we dont use rivers anymore) I would tell him to do sponga or clean the bathroom.September 20, 2011 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #1074879PeacemakerMember
chanie: And what do you do for him that would normally be his job?September 20, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #1074880
Ok ill bite what is sponga?September 20, 2011 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #1074881chanieMember
The 2 days a week that I’m off, I do all those chores. In addition, I do all the shopping for food and clothing and a many other things. Then there is Davening twice a day. Reciting the entire Perek Tehillim for that day, plus a myriad of other things for and within the household. If you want to know if I wake up at 4:30am to learn with a chavrusah for 2 1/2 before ????? or learn with a chavrusa from 8:00-11:30 pm as my husband does, the answer is no, I don’t do that. It says ??? ?? ??, and our Rov and Posek dictates to us how we should run our lives according to the will of the ????? ?? ????.September 20, 2011 10:00 pm at 10:00 pm #1074882☕️coffee addictParticipant
Yes and yes (I think I do them more than usual)September 21, 2011 1:12 am at 1:12 am #1074883kapustaParticipant
I think a big part of it is a result of the home they were raised in.
Ok ill bite what is sponga?
In Israel they have a drain in the middle of the kitchen (and bathroom?) floor(s) that makes for easier cleaning.September 21, 2011 3:01 am at 3:01 am #1074884golden momMember
i think that it has to start at a young age forget for a sec ur husband work on ur kids there is no diffrence in jobs in my house between my boys and girl sometimes sb hears me telling one of my boys to do st they are like ur son will do that and i say y not just because he is a boy? believe me i”yh ur daughter in laws will appreciate u that her husband wont say i dont know how to do that
there is no reason y if both husband and wife the husband can share the responsibilties of the house work and if the wife is a stay at home 24hr working in the house the job never gets done and nothing will happen if he lends a hand especially after a baby… and that joke about breaking a plate every badchin says at weddings and the story of the man looking for segula for shalom bayis folding his tallis..the rav said every motzei shabbos grab a broom its very good for shalom bayisSeptember 21, 2011 5:06 am at 5:06 am #1074885jklmnMember
married guys do laundry, cook, wash floors, toilets, babysit, change diapers and anything else u can think of when then common sense demands it of them oh and yes learn 3 sedarim a day in kollel
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