Do Married Guys Do Laundry?

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  • #599492
    TheGoq
    Participant

    As a single guy you get used to doing everything for yourself i am gonna do my laundry tonight, ladies do your husbands ever do a load? how about washing the dishes?

    #1074837
    Peacemaker
    Member

    No.

    #1074838
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    I wash the dishes very often, and wife appreciates that! Laundry -never. That’s one of the things I stuck into the t’noyim.

    #1074839
    kgh5771
    Participant

    All males and females in my home do laundry and dishes.

    #1074840
    anonymrs
    Participant

    no and no, but in his defense, he is never home to do laundry, and most of the time he eats and runs.

    #1074841
    the.nurse
    Member

    My hubby always helps with the household chores ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1074842
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    The gemara speaks about women doing laundry.

    (Sheesh, am I going back to such poor trolling?)

    #1074843
    shlishi
    Member

    My goodness! After the feminists started demanding to do men’s work, now they want men to do women’s work!?

    This is what Paraoh did to us in Mitzrayim. Let’s not go backwards.

    #1074844
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Yes to dishes, no to laundry (not for lack of trying, though. I just don’t do it well).

    #1074845
    Sam2
    Participant

    PBA: That is just because it is Orcha D’milsa, not a Chiyuv.

    Shlishi: Find me any Posek that says it’s Assur to help your wife out around the house. Better yet, find me anyone who says it’s not a Chiyuv when she needs it.

    #1074846
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    I look forward to the opportunity when I G-d willing get married to help my wife do any household chore that would make her life easier.

    #1074847
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Gavra does your wife actually buy that line?

    #1074848
    sof davar
    Member

    I help with everything but laundry. This was agreed upon before we were married.

    I had to do it while in yeshiva. I have since made a Baruch Shepitarani.

    #1074849
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    Advice someone told me when I was a chosson:

    Be quick to volunteer to do the dishes,….then break that first dish…..

    ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1074850
    MDG
    Participant

    We share the laundry responsibility. There was a time when I did it all myself, when were first married and used a laundromat.

    #1074851
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Gavra does your wife actually buy that line?

    It is not a “line”. I can load the machine, no problem (and do so, every now and then). Where it gets difficult is when you start drying some things, hanging others, and some dry for 10 minutes and pull out to hang.

    I am not good at hanging ๐Ÿ™ (Ittisa reads this, so she will agree)

    #1074852
    mythoughts
    Participant

    My wife lessens my financial burden by working a very tough job so I help her with what ever she needs. Nothing is beneath me.

    #1074853
    aries2756
    Participant

    Husbands do what they and their wives decide is fair and appropriate according to what works for them as a couple. There are no set rules. The more a husband helps the more he is appreciated and respected. This of course fills the wife with more love that she continues to shower on her husband. It keeps the cycle running. Especially if the wife is working and the husband’s hours allow him to be home at more convenient times.

    If anyone thinks that any job is beneath them, they should remember who their partner is and how much they are supposed to love and respect them. So each are required to do for the other and there are no jobs that are beneath one or the other. What ever works best for the couple is what should be done, and no one should comment or butt into their arrangement.

    #1074854
    Queen Bee
    Member

    Considering that I forget the laundry and it sits in the washing machine for hours ready to be put in the dryer until someone reminds me…yeah, I think in my case if my hubby did the laundry, it would be almost lifesaving…

    Aries, thumbs up!

    #1074855
    apushatayid
    Participant

    When my wife was a full time stay at home, most of the household work fell to her. Now that she is out working, I help pick up the slack with housework which includes dishes, laundry, shopping and cleaning.

    #1074856
    LBK
    Participant

    in a two-income house, why is it the wife’s responsibility to do laundry? It only works that way, when the husband works and the wife stays to take of the house and children, but if the wife works too, how can she also be responsible for everything in the house?!?!?

    #1074857
    apushatayid
    Participant

    This thread reminds me of the story (whether it is true, or an urban legend, I dont know) they say over about the steipler z’l. An avreich approached him explaining how his house is always “flying” until the last minute on a friday afternoon, and how his wife cant seem to go any faster (seems he was looking for a nice way to get his wife to move faster). The steipler z’l is reported to have told him “grab a broom” (translated from the yiddish).

    #1074858

    its true

    #1074859
    bpt
    Participant

    Sure we do laundry.. July and August

    #1074860
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    This reminds me of the story of a yingerman telling his rosh yeshiva that his wife wanted him to take out the garbage, but he felt this role is beneath a Torah scholar.

    The R”Y agreed with his talmid.

    That evening, the R”Y came to the talmid’s house to take out the garbage…

    #1074861
    mommamia22
    Participant

    We only have two machines in our building for 70 families, so you can imagine the long lines and dragging bags up and down with kids. What a nuisance. We finally started sending our laundry out. I either drop it at a laundromat or send it out. The one time, recently, that I attempted to do it myself, I took my eyes off my little one briefly to load the machine and the next thing I knew, he was SCREAMING that his fingers got caught in a door! So now I’m back to dropping it off. The dishes are mostly me, with my husband helping only occasionally.

    #1074862
    mewho
    Participant

    i like the break a dish story. just make sure its not from the expensive china.

    #1074863
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    aries, I like what you said. In my mind, a great marriage is when a spouse doesn’t even consider it a “chore” when doing something that will help the other. It should be considered a privilege. A husband should cherish the opportunity to do something for his wife that will make her happy or her life easier. Making her happy should make him happy.

    #1074864
    photogenic
    Member

    Admittedly I am one of those random people that like doing household chores…laundry included ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1074865
    mommamia22
    Participant

    Am YISRAEL,

    I don’t understand the story.

    What was the point that the rosh yeshiva wanted to make? That the talmid is not a Torah scholar or that he didn’t consider himself one, or that he is one and that it isn’t beneath him (then why agree that it’s beneath a Torah scholar)? Sorry, I’m confused.

    #1074866
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “The R”Y agreed with his talmid.”

    I heard that the R”Y was Rav Gifter Z’l.

    #1074867
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “What was the point that the rosh yeshiva wanted to make?”

    I interpret the lesson as “dont be a tzadik on your wifes cheshbon”.

    #1074868
    miritchka
    Member

    My husband helps around the house all the time. Laundry is one thing that i wont even ask him to do though.

    #1074869
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    m22

    Sometimes a person can learn better through osmosis by observing actions rather than by being given mussar.

    The R”Y saw that the talmid felt so adamantly that it was beneath his kavod to do “menial” tasks. But the R”Y felt differently.

    Imagine the talmid’s dismay to see his beloved R”Y taking out his banana peels.

    I imagine the talmid absorbed the lesson well.

    (A ??? should not walk around with stains on his clothing, but that’s a different principle than helping one’s wife.)

    ========================

    Interesting to note, that the home is a “mikdash miat ???? ???.”

    The ?????? saw it as a supreme privilege to do any work related to the ??? ?????, even the “menial.” Non-kohanim were not allowed to do this “menial” work.

    FOOD FOR THOUGHT!


    In addition, helping usually increases ???? ??? and is great ????? for the kids if there are any there.

    #1074870
    a mamin
    Participant

    When I got married my husband taught me how to wash the laundry. Now I would never let him do the laundry,I do all of it myself. I feel he can help with other things when necessary. We are both working and certain chores should not be done by men.I guess it depends on how picky you are with your laundry…

    #1074871
    shmoel
    Member

    Taking out the garbage is not a woman’s job per se. Doing the laundry is. Thus incomparable.

    #1074872
    ha ha ha ha
    Member

    each to their own!!

    don’t quite get the point of this thread?!

    #1074873
    anonymrs
    Participant

    shmoel, why is doing laundry a womans job? and what makes something a womans job?

    #1074874
    TheGoq
    Participant

    The point is don’t take your wife for granted she does so much to make your life easier, have some appreciation this from a single guy who doesn’t have someone to make clean clothes automatically appear as if by magic. I’m not complaining but it seems some married guys have it very soft.

    #1074875
    chanie
    Member

    There is a story they tell. true or not, of the chassidishe chosid who was having sholom bayis issues. He went to his Rebbe and told him, “I try every segulah there is for sholom bayis including folding my talis right before Havdalah”. The Rebbe replied, “Did you once take out the garbage after Shabbos”?

    In my home, my husband is self employed and works from home while I do volunteer work. In order to make things easier for me, he does the dishes, laundry and makes dinner. The only thing he requests is that I separate the light, white and dark laundry. I really appreciate and love him.

    #1074876
    bpt
    Participant

    Could we change directions for a moment?

    Ladies, are there any “husband” jobs that you do?

    (And don’t say “everything”.)

    #1074877
    Yoin from BP
    Member

    I may be starting a new minhag; but since my extraordinary wife bakes 6.5# of flour for challa every single Friday morning; I buy both of us a nice breakfast and we eat it together while the dough is rising or in the oven. And we are doing this for many years already.

    #1074878
    aidel_maidel
    Participant

    if I was forcing my husband to do things I wouldnt choose laundry- thats an easy task (we dont use rivers anymore) I would tell him to do sponga or clean the bathroom.

    #1074879
    Peacemaker
    Member

    chanie: And what do you do for him that would normally be his job?

    #1074880
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Ok ill bite what is sponga?

    #1074881
    chanie
    Member

    The 2 days a week that I’m off, I do all those chores. In addition, I do all the shopping for food and clothing and a many other things. Then there is Davening twice a day. Reciting the entire Perek Tehillim for that day, plus a myriad of other things for and within the household. If you want to know if I wake up at 4:30am to learn with a chavrusah for 2 1/2 before ????? or learn with a chavrusa from 8:00-11:30 pm as my husband does, the answer is no, I don’t do that. It says ??? ?? ??, and our Rov and Posek dictates to us how we should run our lives according to the will of the ????? ?? ????.

    #1074882

    Yes and yes (I think I do them more than usual)

    #1074883
    kapusta
    Participant

    I think a big part of it is a result of the home they were raised in.

    Ok ill bite what is sponga?

    In Israel they have a drain in the middle of the kitchen (and bathroom?) floor(s) that makes for easier cleaning.

    *kapusta*

    #1074884
    golden mom
    Member

    i think that it has to start at a young age forget for a sec ur husband work on ur kids there is no diffrence in jobs in my house between my boys and girl sometimes sb hears me telling one of my boys to do st they are like ur son will do that and i say y not just because he is a boy? believe me i”yh ur daughter in laws will appreciate u that her husband wont say i dont know how to do that

    there is no reason y if both husband and wife the husband can share the responsibilties of the house work and if the wife is a stay at home 24hr working in the house the job never gets done and nothing will happen if he lends a hand especially after a baby… and that joke about breaking a plate every badchin says at weddings and the story of the man looking for segula for shalom bayis folding his tallis..the rav said every motzei shabbos grab a broom its very good for shalom bayis

    #1074885
    jklmn
    Member

    married guys do laundry, cook, wash floors, toilets, babysit, change diapers and anything else u can think of when then common sense demands it of them oh and yes learn 3 sedarim a day in kollel

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