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November 13, 2008 8:28 pm at 8:28 pm #588643
What is wrong with Facebook?
Whats the pros and cons?November 13, 2008 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm #691030chaimberlinerMember
People share too much information!!!!November 13, 2008 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #691031luv2hackMember
i keep in touch with all my friends on facebook. I love it that I can approve who I want to be my friend and who sees which pictures I put up. But then again, I can see the cons of high school kids going on and stuff but as a young recently married girl it’s great that I can still be part of my friends lives and they, mine.November 13, 2008 9:19 pm at 9:19 pm #691032
Why is it okay for a married woman to use Facebook but not for a high school girl to do so?November 13, 2008 9:36 pm at 9:36 pm #691033yoshiMember
I think people get mixed up between Facebook and Myspace. They are two COMPLETELY different websites.
luv2hack – Im in total agreement with you.
Facebook, is an excellent site! It’s a great place to keep in touch with family and friends. With Facebook, I can keep in touch with my friends and family who are spread about all over the world. Without it, I’d probably not know much about what’s happening in their lives right now. Emailing, snail mail, or calling them is just not an option. One, because who has the time to do all that everyone everyday?
Two, because I’m LAZY!
It’s not the trash that Myspace is. Far from it. Myspace is basically a hangout for teens &/or singles, and other junk, junk, or more junk.November 13, 2008 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #691034
i love facebook! it helps me keep in touch with friends and family. one of the benefits to facebook is that only the people that you welcome as your friends can see your information.
as for high schoolers…if you are sure as a parent that your child will only be friends with actual friends and relatives, then why shouldn’t they have facebook? as with any and every activity children need guidance and supervision 🙂November 13, 2008 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #691035
yoshi – exactly!November 13, 2008 9:58 pm at 9:58 pm #691036
MySpace also has much more lax security measures than Facebook.November 13, 2008 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #691037oomisParticipant
Facebook is a terrific palce for people to stay in touch at their convenience without wasting time they might not have at the moment, on a phone call. Then when they have time, they can make the call, but this way they are able to post news, say a quick hi, and everyone is happy. You can only access those with whom you are “friends.”November 13, 2008 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #691038
DO YOU KNOW WHO IS ON YOUR KIDS’ FRIEND LIST????November 14, 2008 12:38 am at 12:38 am #691039
yes, i do know who’s on my kids facebook friend list.November 14, 2008 4:06 am at 4:06 am #691040smalltowngirlMember
gotta say facebook is a great tool for being in touch it is much more secure than mySpace but NOTHING is 100%!!!
My husband set up our children’s facebook and he gets a parental copy of ALL incoming posts…
But don’t tell my kids!November 14, 2008 5:00 am at 5:00 am #691042JosephParticipant
smalltowngirl, why do your kids require Facebook?November 14, 2008 6:21 am at 6:21 am #691043
Facebook is excellent for keeping up with friends, and can be a big help in emergencies. A very close friend of mine was recently niftar in Cleveland, and he was buried here (Israel). Facebook was a huge help in sending out tehillim requests, as well as keeping everyone informed about when the plane was landing and the time to meet at the cemetery.
My kids have Facebook, as it helps them stay in touch with their friends from America. I have rules about their access that I enforce. I have their login names and passwords, and I log on as them when ever I want; that way I can check on their friend lists, see what they are doing, etc. They are not thrilled about this, but they know that is the rule for having Facebook. It’s better that they know that I can and do go online and check. (BTW, they have limited computer time; I passworded their computer, and only I know the passwords. Each kid has a certain amount of time per week on the PC, not including time needed for school work.)
Shabbat shalom to all.November 14, 2008 7:15 am at 7:15 am #691044
Joseph: Why does anyone require Facebook? It’s a social networking site, and people (even kids) like to be a part of an online community of their friends and relatives. If that’s your type of thing, well and good. If that isn’t your type of thing, there’s no reason Facebook should change that.November 14, 2008 11:33 am at 11:33 am #691045
I don’t believe she said anywhere that they “require” it.November 14, 2008 2:23 pm at 2:23 pm #691046
So I take it as most people hold of it.November 14, 2008 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #691047freezerMember
LGBG-i’ll be the first to disagree.
facebook is a tool which many people use instead of communication. A big problem with todays generation, is that the young adults, and even real adults, do not know how to communicate with people anymore face to face. They communicate thru texting, facebook etc. On facebook, people can say anything they want to gain popularity, but in reality, they are not that. Facebook has become an obsession. Ask anyone who has it.
yes, i do hear the argument of people wanting to keep in touch, but dont you agree, that picking up the phone and calling someone, creates more meaningful and lasting realtionships??November 14, 2008 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #691048
LGBG- any relationship, where you do dont know the person personally, can end up dangerous. You think you get to know the person, but you dont.
And since Facebook is a public, free site, any person can post themselves on it. Doesnt sound too safe to me. I would never post there. Too public.November 14, 2008 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #691049
now i take it as its not so safe….November 14, 2008 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #691050
rather safe than sorry. You can live without it. c’mon.November 14, 2008 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #691051
I know pple who went off the Derech, and the first thing they did was post themselves on Facebook to find some new friend who will encourage their negative actions.November 14, 2008 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm #691052luv2hackMember
Thats ridiculous, smart cookie. MOST people including myself would never accept a friend that they don’t know. And that person who went off the derech – don’t fool yourself, with or without facebook they would find someone.
As for freezer, I don’t have time for meaningful, long conversations on the phone. I have a 6 month old baby… 5 minutes on facebook is all I need to keep up with a whole bunch of friends.November 14, 2008 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #691053chaimberlinerMember
smartcookie is right about facebook. it’s not just facebook, it’s also myspace, msn messenger, aol instant messenger & etc.November 14, 2008 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #691054
Facebook is a great tool for a responsible adult to keep up with friends without taking too much of your time. Facebook is a DANGEROUS tool for teens looking for friends. Very often, they wouldn’t know their “friends” if they passed them on the street (unless of course they have their picture up on facebook.) You have no idea who your kids are “hanging out” with online. Looks innocent. Sounds innocent. It’s not! It’s way too easy to create a relationship this way and nothing good comes from it.November 14, 2008 7:20 pm at 7:20 pm #691055yoshiMember
luv2hack – I’m with you on this!
Facebook, is for family and friends. It’s not intended to be a dating site, or a “cool” hangout & gossip site. -That sounds more like Myspace.
As for your kids having Facebook, if you are not capable of monitoring them on the internet, then they shouldn’t have access to it.
Because of Facebook, those who have busy lives and little one’s to care for, can stay in touch with people we love and care about, &/or find family and friends we haven’t seen in years. I had/have family in Japan, Afghanistan, Chicago, Arizona, Georgia, and many other places in the world. I’m not only talking about distant second, or third, cousins, My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have friends in Israel, Australia, England, Canada, and all across the USA. I can’t exactly visit most of these people. Calling them only becomes a game of phone tag. Oh, and as a BIG plus, the a bulk of my work consists of using the internet & other computer programs (home biz, not cheating a boss or company). How much more convenience can one ask for 🙂
I love Facebook! woo hoo!November 14, 2008 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #691056ujmParticipant
Very dangerous tool.November 14, 2008 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #691057
It is extremely rare that people go out searching for *new* friends on facebook.November 14, 2008 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #691058
How old are you? I know teenagers that have friends on Facebook who cannot even pronounce their names correctly. Are those the same friends that they hang out with?November 14, 2008 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #691059
abcd: I second illini07’s assertion. As a veteran Facebooker, I can assure you that connecting with strangers is not the purpose of Facebook. Unlike MySpace, Facebook does not allow complete strangers who haven’t been “friended” to view your profile. I and many, many others use Facebook as a handy tool to keep up with distant family, friends, coworkers and others with whom I feel close enough to care about their lives. It’s fun, it’s convenient, and I have complete control over what content is allowed on my profile.
While I’m sure there are any number of people chomping at the bit to find a reason to “assur” it, Facebook is one of the most effective tools of friendship maintenance out there and is in no way objectionable.
But I reiterate: if one is not the social networking type, Facebook is not for that person. But don’t project your own distaste for socializing into an imaginary issur.November 14, 2008 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #691060hsgirl08Member
facebook is a wonderful thing! it only becomes something bad when we dont have good intentions in the first place!the same thing is with texting and cellphones those are great things but when we use if for bad it becomes something that is almost “bad” to have!November 14, 2008 9:38 pm at 9:38 pm #691061
One of the promising things about the younger generations is that because they were raised with this technology, they are (or should be) also raised to use it cautiously and responsibly. When the internet first became semi-widely available in the home, many people were just thrown in to it, with little-to-no words of caution or hazard. There is a greater level of maturity with teens using the internet these days than we’ve previously seen. That isn’t to say that there isn’t a ton of work left to be done, but teens taught to use social networking properly should not have the problems that you described.
And as David Bar-Magen stated, facebook really is not a place to connect with strangers. By its nature, it just isn’t very conducive to it. Unfortunately, it is more so than it used to be when only affiliates of academic institutions could join, but nonetheless prowling for new friends is typically left to the shadier Myspace-type services.November 15, 2008 4:40 pm at 4:40 pm #691062
Shavua tov. Facebook may or may not be dangerous, just as a car may or may not be dangerous. It depends on the person. If a parent is responsible enough to really and truly lay down and follow strict rules about it, then there is no problem. My kids certainly don’t troll Facebook looking for friends – they connect with people they already know.November 16, 2008 12:47 am at 12:47 am #691063aidle maidleParticipant
I see the point that facebook is a great way for some people to keep in touch with their friends etc; however in my opinion the cons weigh out the pro’s beyond a doubt. I used to be on facebook and then I deactivated my account since I saw some pictures on my friends page, (not photographs-it was those square messages you can send your friend with a cute/funny one liner/message etc) which were so untzenuah and filthy, I was truely shocked. To add, the loshon hora that people write on some of the groups made me think, why do people think facebook is a heter to do these things? Someone started a group about the rabbi’s who taught in a seminary and the leytzonus (the making fun of) and lack of derech eretz shown there was very sad. I decided this was just not for me.
Freezer: “Facebook has become an obsession. Ask anyone who has it.” I agree. I know someone who told me she left facebook because she was just spending was too much time on it. Kol hakovod to her i say.
mamashtakah: If I remember correctly you can send messages to someone on facebook one to one, to a space where noone else can read it-its not on the page for anyone to see. Someone can write to you through this even if they are not on your friends list. So, you are limited how much you can watch your kids with this.November 16, 2008 4:42 am at 4:42 am #691064
I did mention that our kids have limited computer time. I have their passwords only; even their Ema does not have them. I watch them like a hawk; just ask them. They can have Facebook, as long as they abide by my rules. They really “need” it to stay in touch with their American friends. Aliyah for teenagers is hard enough; I wouldn’t want to take this away from them. Thus, we have the rules.November 16, 2008 7:45 am at 7:45 am #691065
Aidle maidle: One might ask, why do people feel YWN is a heter for lashon hara? Any forum in which people socialize and exchange views is a potential springboard for lashon hara; this is not a phenomenon unique to Facebook, or even to the internet. With Facebook or any other socializing agent, you must pay close attention to who your friends are and whether or not you really want a more personal window into their lives.
If one feels that one is spending too much time on Facebook, that’s an issue one must deal with on his own; it isn’t Facebook’s fault for being a stimulating website.November 16, 2008 7:48 am at 7:48 am #691066
Disgrace-Book is a disgrace to anyone who has even a drop of yiras shomayim. Open any person’s page, and right away you see the pictures of all the zoynos/shiktzos on his “friend” list.
To those friends I say: “??? ??? ???? ?????” (referring to Yorovom Ben Nevot, who corrupted Klal Yisroel – Berochos 35)November 16, 2008 11:31 am at 11:31 am #691067EttieMember
I just joined Facebook and have been in touch with family and friends overseas(America) but I did join a Jewish group and to my horror received a hateful antisemetic email. I can only imagine that it was sent by someone whojoined the group for this purpose.November 16, 2008 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm #691068
There’s a wonderful article in the Jewish Press about Facebook. Here’s the link:
(The widowed high school friend she mentions in the article is my mother.)November 16, 2008 3:03 pm at 3:03 pm #691069
JF02, our condolences to you for the loss of your father.
The Jewish Depress is no resource for what the Torah permits or doesn’t.November 16, 2008 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #691070
Facebook in Gimatria (???????) =
??? (stench)November 16, 2008 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #691071
You wrote: “To add, the loshon hora that people write on some of the groups made me think, why do people think facebook is a heter to do these things?”
One could make the very same point about the forums here on YW.November 16, 2008 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #691072
You exemplify the (problematic) thinking of the “banning generation”:
If you can do something assur with it, it is assur.
Nothing about facebook has caused any of this. It’s the person who’s page you’re looking at. Plenty of people use facebook in a completely responsible and clean way.November 16, 2008 3:57 pm at 3:57 pm #691073
Kitzur-dot-net does an excellent job of proving my point, i.e. that there will always be swamps of people with burrs in their britches, chomping at the bit to assur any new development.
I’m only going to repeat this once again: Facebook gives its users complete and utter control over who their friends are. If you don’t want to see images of “zoynos/shiktzos,” your best recourse is NOT TO BE FRIENDS with those who befriend them. It’s quite the no-brainer. (I also have my doubts about whether these zoynos/shiktzos you speak of are actually that. Extrapolating from your response to this thread, one might assume that you are very quick to place people and things in categories where you feel they fit, disregarding accuracy.)
A person who truly had a “drop of yiras shamayim” would try to engage his brain before hitting “Send Post” and casting aspersion upon thousands of perfectly fine and upstanding Jews who use Facebook.November 16, 2008 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm #691074namelessMember
I have a friend who told me that whenever they speak a shidduch for her son, she checks to see if the girl is on facebook. If she is, she WONT GO INTO IT!November 16, 2008 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #691075thinkinghelpsMember
I suggest you go to torahanytime.com and download the following speech by Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein
01/01/08 Parashat Va’era – The Truth About Facebook, Myspace, and New Year’s EveNovember 16, 2008 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #691076
Nameless: Then your friend is of the same mindset as kitzur-dot-net; namely, that anything that CAN be used to access something assur is intrinsically assur.
Here’s a news flash: shutting out everything and anything in the world will not help, nor does it make you better than your neighbor. Especially in contemporary society, it is next to impossible for anyone other than the Amish or perhaps a tribe in the rainforests of the Amazon to completely remove themselves from the world.
What we CAN do–and should do–is MODERATE our exposure and our children’s exposure to different forms of media. USE your head, instead of hiding it in the sand. While it’s certainly easier to pretend that MySpace is the exact same animal as Facebook, anyone who has actually used both services knows very well that they are not in any way alike.
A few immediate differences:
1. Facebook profiles can only be accessed by friends that YOU approve of. MySpace profiles can be accessed and even hacked by complete strangers.
2. Facebook does not allow complicated profiles with background music and photo wallpaper. MySpace does. While Facebook users may post videos and music, these things can only be accessed by clicking on them, once again leaving your exposure to imagery and/or music that you don’t approve of to your OWN DISCRETION.
3. Facebook began as a college-wide effort to connect students with one another and continues to serve that purpose in an expanded capacity for students, family and friends. MySpace was never intended to be a facebook, and was always a social networking site for the purpose of meeting new people.
4. MySpace has traditionally been fertile ground for pedophiles and stalkers because of the anonymity inherent in it. Facebook users generally have accounts under their REAL NAMES, and cannot interact with people they haven’t “friended.”
They are both sites for social networking but are not in any way alike. Process that.
Thinkinghelps: I have already heard that speech, and the Rav makes some very good points. Facebook CAN be and HAS been misused, just like ANY tool can be, including YWN. That’s why it is our duty to use our own discretion (thinking helps, indeed) to understand how to control these tools. And in that discretion, it would be helpful not to immediately and knee-jerkingly ban anything and everything under the sun for the reasons that:
A) it ends in .com, or
B) that you absolutely no working knowledge of what it actually is.November 16, 2008 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #691077Chuck SchwabParticipant
“casting aspersion upon thousands of perfectly fine and upstanding Jews who use Facebook.”
Obviously they are NOT so “perfectly” fine and upstanding if they use Facebook.November 16, 2008 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #691078
Really? I don’t see THEM speaking lashon hara about YOU without knowing a blessed thing about you. You don’t seem willing to afford them the same courtesy.November 16, 2008 6:51 pm at 6:51 pm #691079
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