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December 3, 2009 5:35 am at 5:35 am #590887tamazaballMember
is it really safe to have facebook and twitter , no one has privacy in their lives anymore after those are over what will be next for the world?
December 3, 2009 10:21 am at 10:21 am #690642williMemberI believe twitter is safer than facebook
December 3, 2009 11:40 am at 11:40 am #690643live4HashemMemberi don’t know too much about either, though i heard Rabbi Wallerstein tell hundreds of stories about it and say how bad and dangerous it is, and i agree with him.
December 3, 2009 2:34 pm at 2:34 pm #690644positiveaynayimMemberAin Habrocha shoreh ela mah shesosum min ho’ayin……..
Mah Tovu Ohalecha Yaakov…..
Hatznay’a leches im Elokecha…….
I also heard Rabbi Wallerstein blast facebook. I’m not exactly sure how each of these things work, but someone who has an account told me it’s scary when people they don’t know, know so much about them, and I think they were going to take themselves off.
December 3, 2009 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #690645arcParticipantFacebook is public and anyone can see it I know of 2 shiduchim that people turned down because of facebook comments people wrote.
December 3, 2009 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #690646youdontknowmeMemberFacebook and Twitter are just tools, you can use them for good or bad, it’s up to you. If you know how to use them properly, your information can be private. Of course you should always assume that anything you put on the internet will be public b/c it’s possible someone will hack into your account.
December 3, 2009 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #690647YW Moderator-80Member“If you know how to use them properly, your information can be private.”
“Of course you should always assume that anything you put on the internet will be public…”
?
December 3, 2009 4:13 pm at 4:13 pm #690648mybatMemberI heard of a boy that was kidnapped and killed because of facebook. He had pictures of expensive cars, trips, etc unfortunatly he was victimized.
December 3, 2009 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #690649NY MomMemberI was told that there are various settings that one can set on one’s facebook account, which controls who can see your infomation. For ex: You can set your acct so that pple cannot access you facebook page unless they are your “friend” and only you can allow who are your friends. You can even set it so that your page will not show up in a general search.
However, as youdontknowme said above, there are always pple looking to hack into private accts for whatever reason, so that’s something to think about when putting up private info onto the internet.
December 3, 2009 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #690650youdontknowmeMember“”If you know how to use them properly, your information can be private.”
“Of course you should always assume that anything you put on the internet will be public…”
? “
It actually makes sense. What I’m saying is that with the proper settings facebook and twitter can be made to keep your information private, meaning that random people will not see your info just by searching for your name. That said you should be aware that there are people with malicious intent who can possibly break into your account regardless of how secure it is. In other words you can share stuff with your friends and family but you should always use caution and think before you post.
December 3, 2009 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm #690651YW Moderator-80MemberThank you. I understand now.
December 3, 2009 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #690652haifagirlParticipantmybat: While that scenario is certainly possible, I’ve never heard that it happened. Do you have documentation.
For those of you who don’t use Facebook, let me tell you about Facebook.
My family is spread out. I have relatives I had not been in touch with in over 20 years. Thanks to Facebook we were able to reconnect and become family again.
While I am not that close to particular cousins, I have become quite close to their children, thanks to Facebook. When my aunt and uncle were dying, the only reason I was kept informed was because their grandson kept in contact with me via Facebook.
I am able to maintain friendships with people who are scattered throughout the world, thanks to Facebook.
I am really tired of hearing how evil Facebook is. It has made such a tremendous difference in my life.
December 3, 2009 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #690653arcParticipantIt was on CNN a couple of months ago. He was targeted because of facebook.
There are positives and negatives to facebook.
December 3, 2009 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #690654dveykus613ParticipantI have not gotten into facebook, and therefore not hooked, and therefore can possibly be more objective –
My father used to never want to be listed in local jewish-only directories, as he felt that it makes it very easy for an anti-semite to target jews by just getting his hands on a copy – he would have the entire jewish community in his hands.
While I felt that was a bit paranoid for a small out of town community (and it wasnot available on the internet), even though it was an interesting point, I do VERY MUCH feel that way about facebook – any freak can get info off the internet, and even if they can’t see your personal details, they can get all the jewish names (as most people’s facebook names are their real names) just by typing in a jewish name, seeing the names of their friends, then going to each friend and seeing their friends’ names etc etc….it is quite a scary prospect to me. and to go on anonymously (which I have succeeded in doing) works, but kills the whole point of facebook, as your friends won’t generally approve an anonymous no-info name as a “friend” since they won’t know who you are!
Especially as our galus unfortunately seems to be getting more and more anti-semetic and the world gets so small on the internet, you never know who might use info against us c”v…
December 3, 2009 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #690655mazcaMemberI guess there is positive and negative in everything. It is up to us to know how and when. My advice to people if the young kids enter facebook well it is not the best, they want to show their friends how many friends they have and accept anybody.
December 3, 2009 9:39 pm at 9:39 pm #690656mybatMemberHaifagirl
It happened in mexico. It was a very publicized story and it was all over the news.
December 4, 2009 1:37 am at 1:37 am #690658chofetzchaimMemberBoth Facebook and Twitter can be used for business or family purposes. If used in the right way they can be very good (as Haifagirl pointed out about staying in touch with family). I once attended a conference in which a lot of stuff was done through twitter, the conference organizers posted updates and people attending were able to answer questions and post stuff, etc. I felt that this was a very good use of the technology (though even this conference had some interesting issues whith people abusing it but that is another story). On the other hand, the way people use it to socialize can be very dangerous. People can become friends with random people online which can lead to all sorts of problems. Teenagers (and non-teens as well) who don’t think about the consequences of their actions can get themselves into a lot of trouble. I feel that parents should definitely not let their children use these things except with very strict supervision. If you want to keep in touch with family so the parents should create a family account that they have access to and they should make sure that they themselves understand all the settings and know how to check what their kids are doing.
December 4, 2009 2:20 am at 2:20 am #690659pookieMemberi personally know someone that is struggling to stay frum, simply because he started a facebook account ”just for friends” and then it all went downhill from there
December 4, 2009 2:34 am at 2:34 am #690660NY MomMemberPookie: You really think the reason your friend is leaving frumkeit is because he has a facebook page?
December 4, 2009 3:21 am at 3:21 am #690661tamazaballMemberit bothers me , we really have no privacy in are lives nowadays.
December 4, 2009 3:26 am at 3:26 am #690662pookieMemberi cant share the details but yes it started with a facebook account
December 4, 2009 6:11 am at 6:11 am #690663ronrsrMemberthere were evil-doers before facebook and twitter. They used whatever tools were available to them at the time. Tools themselves are mostly neutral, and can be used for good or bad.
Personally, my rule is never to post anything on the web that I would be ashamed to see attributed to me in tomorrow’s newspaper.
December 4, 2009 8:38 am at 8:38 am #690664YW Moderator-42Moderatorronrsr wrote: Personally, my rule is never to post anything on the web that I would be ashamed to see attributed to me in tomorrow’s newspaper.
That is one of the best things I’ve read on this site, before you do anything in life, think what it would look like on the front page of the NY Times and then think about how Hashem is watching you and how you should fear Hashem as much as you fear the media! Remember that Hashem knows who you are and what you are doing, you can’t hide from Him behind an anonymous screen name.
December 4, 2009 8:41 am at 8:41 am #690665ronrsrMemberHashem is likely to be more forgiving than the media. if you don’t believe me, watch them rip Tiger Woods to pieces over the next few weeks. Rachmones is not in their vocabulary.
December 4, 2009 8:48 am at 8:48 am #690666YW Moderator-42ModeratorTrue, but the ultimate goal is to do only what is right and not need Hashem’s forgiveness. You cannot just decide to do something and expect Hashem to forgive you.
December 4, 2009 8:55 am at 8:55 am #690667ronrsrMemberyes, I agree with you. But, should I ever stray, and am looking for forgiveness, I won’t go to the media.
December 4, 2009 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #690668A Woman Outside BrooklynParticipantThis is an interesting subject to me. My teen and 20’s children all hold very much from R’Wallerstein’s position on Facebook, and wouldn’t go near it. For me, it’s a fun, easy way to keep in touch with myriad people from various parts of my life in one shot.
Facebook allows you to set up lists, which consist of groups of people, such as a group for your family, coworkers, friends from school, etc. Then, you can set privacy rights where, for instance, your family can see more then your coworkers. And they’re enhancing the privacy settings as well. When I post pictures (mostly old pictures that are relevant only to a small group of my [real world] friends), I set the settings on those pictures so only that group can see them, and the pictures aren’t even visible to my friends friends.
Just like you wouldn’t tell a friend in the middle of a store “we’re going on vacation for a week tomorrow”, you have to use common sense to protect yourself. When we went to Israel, I didn’t post a word about it till I was already back in the USA. Even when I went online from Israel, no one would have known.
Another thing I do is I don’t respond to Friend Requests unless I know who the person is, or know they’re mutual friends of people I trust. Otherwise, that’s what the “ignore” button is for.
Although the access to so many people could push someone OTD, the person referred to above was probably headed that way anyway.
December 8, 2009 9:22 am at 9:22 am #690669yoshiMemberFacebook I like for it’s ability to help keep us in contact with friends and family. Yes a phone call, a letter, or a knock on the door is best, but many people don’t have that luxury. So until we do, Facebook is a great way to connect.
As for Twitter, I… can’t… stand… it! LOL – Plus, Facebook has a similar feature of which I utilized during the marathon 🙂 Everyone knew where and when I passed each and every mile!
December 9, 2009 5:21 am at 5:21 am #690671tamazaballMemberfarfrumt, it makes sense what u say, but there kind of fun to on.
December 9, 2009 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm #690672YW Moderator-80MemberBeginning Wednesday, the networking Web site is taking the rare step of requiring its more than 350 million users to review and update their privacy settings.
The new controls are designed to simplify the cumbersome privacy controls that have confounded many users. Facebook hopes the changes make people comfortable sharing even more information.
Jules Polonetsky, co-chairman and director at the Future of Privacy Forum think tank in Washington, praised how the process resembles the way people decide what to share in their day-to-day lives. He said putting the controls “when you need it, right there, is far better than putting it in a
privacy' or
help’ location” somewhere on the site.Facebook said that until now only 15 percent to 20 percent of its users have customized their privacy settings.
Now Facebook will be asking users to review and alter their settings through a tool that explains the changes. People will be able to keep their old settings or take recommendations from Facebook that are largely based on how they have configured their information.
If users were previously part of such a geographic network, this location will now be listed in their profiles under “current city.”
Other networks, for schools and workplaces, are staying.
The changes have no effect on advertising on the site, said Elliot Schrage, vice president of global communications and public policy at Facebook.
But he added that by giving users such granular control over the content they share, Facebook is encouraging more sharing and a greater connection to the site.
“If users feel more confident with our service, they will use our service more,” he said. “And the more they use our services the more benefits we derive.”
Copyright 2009 The Associated Press
December 9, 2009 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm #690673positiveaynayimMember350 million users. WOW. That is a lot of people potentially being able to read information that just might not be for everyone.
Surely the technology that has been created up until Facebook materialized, could provide us Yidden, an Am Kadosh, a separate nation, the means by which we can communicate with those that we need to, without us needing Facebook
I’m still for refraining from using this tool, even though there are going to be more securities, and privacy measures being set.
December 9, 2009 9:20 pm at 9:20 pm #690674A Woman Outside BrooklynParticipantJules Polonetsky, co-chairman and director at the Future of Privacy Forum think tank in Washington, praised how the process resembles the way people decide what to share in their day-to-day lives. He said putting the controls “when you need it, right there, is far better than putting it in a privacy’ orhelp’ location” somewhere on the site.
Facebook said that until now only 15 percent to 20 percent of its users have customized their privacy settings.
To all present and future users of Facebook, read and reread the above two paragraphs. I’m part of the 15-20% that customizes their privacy setting depending upon which “group” of people I want to either have (or NOT have) access to information, such as posted pictures or events.
As far as the information they’re gathering on me, they don’t have anything more then I give them. Ditto every other place on the web. Don’t “tell” someone online something you wouldn’t want them to know. Common sense prevails.
December 9, 2009 10:12 pm at 10:12 pm #690675oomisParticipant“Pookie: You really think the reason your friend is leaving frumkeit is because he has a facebook page?”
I agree with NY MOM. If someone is going to go OTD, or head in that direction, there is a great deal more going on with him or her than a Facebook page. It may only be that the signs become more obvious with Facebook. I do think that the privacy settings issue is an important one. Kids tend to forget that once something is in cyberspace it is there forever.
December 10, 2009 1:38 am at 1:38 am #690676YW Moderator-42ModeratorAWoman_outside_bklyn wrote:
As far as the information they’re gathering on me, they don’t have anything more then I give them. Ditto every other place on the web. Don’t “tell” someone online something you wouldn’t want them to know. Common sense prevails.
You would be surprised how much information it is possible to get on people through the web sites that they visit even if they think they aren’t giving away information. Just as an example: I, as a moderator of this site, know your email address and IP address that you use for Yeshiva World. If you were to use another site that I also happened to moderate, but for the other site you used a different email address, info, etc, I might be able to make the connection even though you gave different info to the different sites because you are using the same computer for both sites and therefore I am seeing the same IP address (of course I would have to be very bored or use sophisticated software to do this but it is possible). What if a family member uses the same computer (therefore same IP) and that family member does give out their personal info. I can go on and on and on…
December 10, 2009 5:15 am at 5:15 am #690677ronrsrMemberThough some have commented on the depth of information available, I would like to remind you of the length of information available.
Around 1992-1996, I was a very active participant of a USENET newsgroup, for business purposes. We discussed many things.
I am amazed sometimes, that I can do a google search on my name, and find many of the wise things I said in that newsgroup, back when the public internet was young, even before most Americans had heard of the Internet. Some of them go back almost 18 years. Fortunately, I didn’t say any incriminating or unwise things, since they’d still be searchable also, and would probably come up first.
So, not only can someone find lots of information on who you are, what you own, and what you’ve said, but all that information may be around until who knows when. Things you say may never get erased.
December 10, 2009 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #690678A Woman Outside BrooklynParticipantWith regard to the moderator’s comments, yes, all of what you say is true. At one time I was doing a website for a synagogue, and used to monitor activity. Surely, in your role as a moderator for a site that can spark wickedness from some realms of society, you need to know who is saying what. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if you told me that there were times people posted threats and that you’ve interacted with law enforcement. This is part and parcel of your job.
However, I still hold by my previous statement. Anyone who knows me in real life hears the same opinions as those I spout on this and other websites, Facebook, and in my emails. The things I shop for online are no secret either, or put another way, why would I care if someone knows what I buy? Everything is 100% legal. Now if I were a criminal, then I’d be more concerned…
December 13, 2009 7:43 am at 7:43 am #690679CheerfulMemberAbout the issue of going OTD as a cause of going facebook, it is definitely true. I heard of 3 incidents in which frum girls created their own profiles just for the ‘kick of it’ and were then dragged into a different way of life with no way back. 2 of them hooked up with ppl they would’ve never gotten in touch with if not their facebook profile.
This is one of the reasons I don’t have a public facebook/twitter profile.
December 13, 2009 6:51 pm at 6:51 pm #690680Midwest2ParticipantI’m in HR, and I can tell you that nowadays when an employer is checking references, the first thing that gets checked – especially for younger people – is Facebook (also MySpace and other sites.)
Don’t put anything out there that you wouldn’t want a prospective employer (or a prospective in-law) to see.
That said, Facebook does have its uses. Just use it right.
December 14, 2009 11:22 am at 11:22 am #690681haifagirlParticipantAbout the issue of going OTD as a cause of going facebook, it is definitely true. I heard of 3 incidents in which frum girls created their own profiles just for the ‘kick of it’ and were then dragged into a different way of life with no way back. 2 of them hooked up with ppl they would’ve never gotten in touch with if not their facebook profile.
The problem is not Facebook. Where were these girls’ parents when they were on Facebook? Why weren’t they supervised?
When used properly, Facebook is an amazing tool. But like any other tool, one needs to be careful how it is used.
I can’t imagine any parent allowing a child to use a chainsaw, a power drill, a car, or any other potentially dangerous item without supervision. So how do these children have access to Facebook without supervision?
The problem is we aren’t teaching children to use the tools available on the internet. We are teaching them to stay away. So when they don’t stay away, they have no idea how to use them responsibly.
December 14, 2009 10:52 pm at 10:52 pm #690682nochamolMemberForget about the shmutz on the internet and the forums, etc. Social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc. are pure poison!
No one with any sense of self respect or Yiras shamayim should get near one of hese sites. It’s like going and socializing in a bar with the worst low lifes around. You don’t know who or what you’ll be talking to or will lure you into the worst situations.
There are plenty of smart people out there with nothing better to do than to lure the unsuspecting into the worst filth and danger, both ruchnias and physical.
Anyone who thinks he can take of himself doesn’t know what’s out there. Of all the problems with the internet these sites are most treif by a long way.
December 14, 2009 11:06 pm at 11:06 pm #690683bombmaniacParticipantand THAT^is why you should never say anything if you have no idea about the subject…first of all, myspace, is going out of style…twitter i agree is for ******…but facebook, you DO get to choose who you want to talk to…in fact, now trhat they updated the security options…you have even MORE control over who you wanna talk to!
December 15, 2009 8:04 am at 8:04 am #690684aussieboyParticipantFor anyone complaining about privacy. Noone is forcing anyone to have an account with facebook.
As for it being “treif”. Anyone can go to clubs or bars to do things they shouldnt too. Do you really think facebook is changing what happens?! Its just a different way of doing it. If a kid goes OTD it has nothing to do with facebook it has to do with the kid (Whether or not the parent wants to admit it)
December 17, 2009 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #690685YW Moderator-42ModeratorHaifagirl wrote (bottom of previous page):
I can’t imagine any parent allowing a child to use a chainsaw, a power drill, a car, or any other potentially dangerous item without supervision. So how do these children have access to Facebook without supervision?
The problem is we aren’t teaching children to use the tools available on the internet. We are teaching them to stay away. So when they don’t stay away, they have no idea how to use them responsibly.
So basically, we are assuming that the children will use these things eventually. Therefore the real issue is that we need to teach the parents about the dangers and how to properly supervise their children. If a parent knows that their child will definitely use a chainsaw, they will certainly find an expert to supervise them and teach them how to operate it safely. The parents themselves will probably pay attention to the experts as well so that they can supervise when the expert is not around.
December 18, 2009 12:43 am at 12:43 am #690686anonymrsParticipanti know im a little bit late in this conversation, but here is my take on the whole thing.
facebook, just like everything else in the world, is just a tool. like every other tool, it can be used for positive or negative. giving our children (and sometimes also adults) the information they need to properly use these tools is our job as parents and educators. many times (NOTE i did NOT say ALWAYS) this is a FACTOR in someones going off. teaching our children that it is forbidden may lead them to investigate later.
also, just a bit of nit picking. while its true that people have gone off the derech after using facebook, im almost positive that it was not the CAUSE. perhaps on the outside this is the way it appeared, but i would be willing to bet that there was some kind of vulnerability which was taken advantage of, even if accidentally.
December 18, 2009 1:32 am at 1:32 am #690687Shidduch SolutionMemberFace Book can be used for good things. We use Face Book to let people know about our organization. Check out our Shidduch World account. (Shidduch Velt)
732 534-4539
The Shidduch World Staff
December 18, 2009 5:09 am at 5:09 am #690688happy girlMemberfacebook “in theory” can be a great tool to network when used properly by mature adults who know what kind of information should and should not be shared with others.
HOWEVER….(and this is a HUGE however!!!!)when people spend hours on end on the site and update their walls constantly it becomes bitul zeman…and this is facebook’s major problem. Even if facebook was the most secure site in the world there is no reason in the world why people should get addicted to it and feel the need to log on any time they are near a computer. Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea to post pictures…
December 18, 2009 12:46 pm at 12:46 pm #690689aussieboyParticipanthappy girl: Whats the difference if people are wasting thier time on facebook or doing other things? I can promise you that very few people who are wasting thier time on facebook would be doing anything better if they didnt have facebook.
December 18, 2009 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #690690A Woman Outside BrooklynParticipantAren’t those of us who are commenting in the CR wasting our time also?
December 21, 2009 2:55 pm at 2:55 pm #690691haifagirlParticipantAs I’ve said before, teenagers need SUPERVISION when using Facebook. Today I found some very disturbing things that one of my “Facebook friends,” the teenage son of a friend of mine, had posted. I immediately sent the information to his parents.
This is not the first time I’ve seen things on Facebook that would not be there if parents were supervising their children. I’ve contacted parents in the past, and once, when I didn’t know a girl, I contacted the principal of her school.
Facebook is a wonderful tool, but like all tools, teenagers need SUPERVISION when using it.
July 26, 2010 6:02 am at 6:02 am #690692YW Moderator-42Moderatorbump
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