Facebook Is To Blame For Rising Orthodox Jewish Divorce Rate?

@ari-free not sure what that has to do with facebook

in addition divorce in the frum world was on the rise before facebook came into existence.

My rosh yeshiva said that the reason behind the rise of divorces today is a lack of honesty between spouses both before and after marriage.

Social media includes anything that makes it easier to check out other people from the privacy of your own computer. Not just facebook.

chalilavchas – Pray tell – who’s going on Facebook and causing the divorce – the man or the woman?

If it’s the man, then it’s good news – more women on the market.

If it’s the woman, then it’s bad news – less women on the market.

(Not physically, but less for a Ben -Torah to marry.)

IMO, the reason for the rise in divorces is that people need to daven more. Also, the reason for the rise in Facebook usage is that people need to daven more.

@DY he meant in regards to questions of hashkafa or otherwise people pretend to be something they are not, when they are dating and then when they get married and the wife/husband discovers there spouse is not really who they made themselves out to be … the rest is history. They may divorce immediately or they may hold out for years but many times the results are the same. As he is on the front lines and has dealt with these types of situations many times I would tend to believe him.

I think one has to be careful with words such as “blame” or “cause.” I don’t think think that social media is the cause of the problem. It’s just that if someone already has a problem, the technology would make it easier to act upon it.

Claiming that going on Facebook is causing divorces is like claiming that heart attacks are caused by indigestion. There might be a connection (unhappy people with roving eyes look all over the place), but one doesnt cause the other.

Certainly, the fact that people with marital problems report issues with internet/social media doesn’t prove which is the cause and which is the effect. It makes a whole lot of sense that unhappy people look elsewhere, as you say, but the easy access makes it more likely, and there have certainly been plenty of cases where the cause was someone giving in to the temptation of the internet, causing the unhappiness.

It’s way too simple to blame the higher divorce rate on the internet/social media; there are many factors. There’s no question in my mind, though, that it hasn’t helped.

To blame Fox News and the like for a persons infidelity is like blaming someone’s weight problem with restaurant billboards. My husband and I watch Fox News and we are still holding on to a strong marriage. Do you ever think it’s the fact that the rebbes and our society try to close us off from the outside world so much that it just makes the taboo more tantalizing? I do and I know a lot of other people that do as well. ” don’t go into manhattan unless its an absolute necessity”. ” don’t open your eyes at a chassunah chas vshalom you will see the heel of a woman dancing”. ” don’t read the ny times or wsj there might be a spread with a picture of that female cogresswoman and c’v it exites someone”. I think that by making every single little aspect of life seem so dangerous to us, that it is intact pushing people to explore that which is so “taboo” and giving a possible intriguing and exciting out for someone in a rut or boring marriage.

Ons factor is that in my parents generation, people, particularly women, stayed in terrible, abusive marriages. Today we recognize that it does the kids no good go grow up in thatenvironment

purely ridiculous.

no other words.

Less,

I am sorry to hear that you grew up in a terribly abusive environment,but you can hardly infer that your situation is the norm.

However, you have all naysayers about the shidduch system who say that people met on their own back then and therefore they chose more suited mates. Quite the contrary to what you are avering.

You have to make up your mind.

As an aside, there is no question that frequenting social media can certainly affect even a healthy relationship. When one statrts sharing all sorts of personal stuff with others, it can lead to devoloping relationships that can harm an exisiting healthy relationship.

And Facebook is all about that, sharing stuff and then interacting. Do you really think that intercating so cannot poosibly lead to relationships where there shouldn’t be?

How else does one build a realtionship if not through sharing and social media encourages sharing well beyond what used to be typical. And may lead to having one’s guard down.

It is not just “symptons”, it can actually be the cause.

It is also “very seductive” to project that one is the ideal yeshiva bachur or bais yackov girl in order to facilitate ones shidduch.

ZDAD,

So we are safe to assume then that you are not happy in your life and marriage?

Because you seem to frequent the coffee room for social interaction.

I love to interact with friends like Nisht.

Zdad,

please don’t. I would not want you to involve me in any way as the cause of your problems. Nor as a sympton.

“Facebook is cited in 1 out of every 5 divorces in the United States, according to the Loyola University Health System.”

A certain one syllable word is cited at even higher percentage than that.

Some here are symptons of many things, however none of them are in my personal life

So you are retracting your comment of earlier

“If someone is happy in their life and marriage, they are not looking elsewhere for satisfaction”

Ok. Fine, that is where I was getting. That your comment is not even close to the rule.

The fact is someone can stray even if they have a perfectly happy marriage. And the wise thing to do is to avoid things that can cause straying.

I am not saying facebook will always cause straying or even does so a significant amount of the time, however one can never be sure (not my words, its the gemara’s words) and it is therefore samrt to be cautious.

“Facebook is cited in 1 out of every 5 divorces in the United States, according to the Loyola University Health System. Furthermore, 81 percent of the country’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). Last but not least, Facebook is the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66 percent citing it as the primary source, the AAML said.”

That’s like saying that since 52% of accidents occur within a five-mile radius of home and 69% of accidents occur within a ten-mile radius of home, the conclusion being that people become more relaxed with their driving as they approach their home. In reality, however, a person spends more than 52% of their total driving within that 5 mile radius and still more than 69% of their total driving within their ten-mile radius.

You can blame the social networking sites but really if someone is looking for a tool to stray, they’ll find it and the social networking sites happen to be easiest to access.

Zdad,

What does “there is a well known bulletin board website where people sell things ” have to do with whether Facebook can cause a rift even if someone does not start out seeking something for “sale”?

You are completely missing the point. It is not only someone who starts out seeking sometthing when he not satisfied. The site you are referring to, if I guess correctly is not a social site, it is a place for arranging hook ups. We are talking about social media, something totally different.

Mark Twain said it.

morahrach: please reread your post. You were defaming the kovid of Rabbonim.As far as internet is concerned, mine is filtered, is yours?

Emotional cheating is almost as bad as physical. This is more like the preamble the physical. Remember if you walk into a fish shop, only to browse and do not buy the smell remains on you irrespective.

So people make conscience choices that you do not expose yourself in harms way, no matter good your marriage is. A malach is perfect, we humans, bene odom, are not. Try rolling the dice in roulette, is this really any different?

We ask H-shem everyday not to put through nisyonos, don’t create them either.

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She has a point but its’ true about any online social sites. including this one. Much time is wasted and one has to be on top of their game to control how much time you do spend, for each person there is some relaxation. FB is very good to locate old friends and for this reason I would never ban it for myself. Because I located someone who told me about a software developer who could help me, I have been blessed with continuous employment for over 3 years.

The point she makes easily extends to newspapers, any advertising, or most news items in general.

Everyone is looking for some magic potion that will make all the problems disappear but FB is only a symtom, that is abuse of FB in terms of time spent, what one does etc.