Girls in Shidduchim wearing sweatshirts ?

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  • #607871

    WIY
    Member

    Is it really appropriate for girls that age to be dressed in sweatshirts in public?

    I personally thing it looks immature and makes the girl look like a young teen. They aren’t classy in any way. I personally think sweatshirts should not be worn by most people both male and female out doors past the low teen years. What do you chevra think?

    #922918

    I hope you don’t mean some people are wearing sweatshirts on the street with nothing on top of it?!?

    #922919

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Are you saying dressing without “class” is inappropriate? And what does “inappropriate” mean in this context?

    #922920

    BYbychoice
    Member

    well for the sake of arguemnet its better for a girl to wear a baggy sweatshirt(wich they usually are) then to wear the skin tight clothing that they do these days! It might also be hard for girls depending where they are to find cloths they feel apporopiate for themesleves to wear at as they are in shidduchim, sometimes its just hard to find cloths,and for all arguments sake,maybe they are just cold so they where a sweatshirt

    #922921

    Sabzi
    Member

    like a hoodie? why not? they are so comfy and warm when it’s cold.

    #922922

    I think that most sweatshirts girl wear are somewhat status symbols showing that they have been in a specific program. I personally think that some sweatshirts are not good to wear outdoors after a certain age, but zip up hoodies should not be a problem. Not everyone can afford a north face, and sweatshirts are a cheaper alternative to them (I personally have two north face fleece jackets and a winter jacket because I knew when I got them that I would wear them for several years, its already my fifth winter wearing the winter jacket, same with my gloves, people tell me I should replace them, but I don’t have the ability to at this time, and they are still very warm). When I was still growing, height wise, my mother would never spend so much money on alternatives to sweatshirts, regardless of status symbols and stuff like that. Even then, I most of the time don’t wear my fleece north face jackets because I like my zip up hoodies and sweatshirts better.

    #922923

    MorahRach
    Member

    Sweatshirts are so warm and easy to wear. Why is it that every last drop of a persons independence has to be regulated? Hashem didn’t say in the Torah that women were forbidden from wearing sweatshirts, why do you have to add more chumras to an already very limited life style? I’m not a teen.. I’m a married mother and when I need to walk to do errands I often wear a comfortable sweatshirt because it keeps me warm when it’s not quite cold enough for a coat.

    #922924

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Are you saying dressing without “class” is inappropriate? And what does “inappropriate” mean in this context?

    I agree with OOM.

    I think you are confusing the standards for bnei torah, and the standards for anyone else.

    #922925

    It’s terrible that people wear sweatshirts, and baruch hashem the coffee room provides a forum for me to express my opinions about what other people are wearing. A good solution to the shidduch crisis would be if we simply stopped redding shidduchim to women who wear sweatshirts, so that there will be enough men for the women who properly don’t.

    #922926

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    For what it’s worth, I don’t wear sweatshirts. I don’t even own one. On the very rare occasions I would want a sweatshirt, I borrow a sibling’s.

    I would rather wear thermals underneath my clothes than extra layers on the outside. But you have to be slim enough to get away with that. I can see why most girls prefer sweatshirts.

    #922927

    yichusdik
    Participant

    C’mon, Morah Rach, if it isn’t in Yoreh Deah then there must be a kol koreh out about it somewhere. In any case it is obvious that the wearing of sweatshirts by young women is clearly against the will of daas torah, and therefore must be prohibited. I’ll be sure to make a macho’oh next time I see such licentious behaviour.

    #922928

    rescue37
    Participant

    Is it really apropriate for gorls to go outside at all? Men might look at them and we all know what shkutzim men are when women are around. I must say this is one of the most rediculous comments I have seen in a while. I vote all girls should only wear approriate sweatshirts. They are comfortable, economical and warm. Makes much more sence than a blouce with a vest and a wool coat.

    #922929

    anon1m0us
    Participant

    Why is it the OP’s who have issues with the way girls dress are always men who try to impose their logic in the situation. You never know, soon we will have people suggesting the way Yeshiva Boys wear their hats look goyish.

    #922930

    BYbychoice
    Member

    Like MorahRach said,why add things on to a very limited life style already? and for all those men who keep finding a need to start forums like this about weather or not the things girls wear are tznius i would like you to go out and try to find tznius clotheing that fits all your “requirments” such as this,i think you would be surprized after to find that its amazing how many women actually follow things even with them being so hard

    #922932

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Is it really appropriate for girls that age to be dressed in sweatshirts in public?

    Yes.

    #922933

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Almost everyday here , there are posts about Off The Dereach and posts about Chumras.

    Has anyone ever considered maybe they are related.

    Perhaps If you push someone too hard with a chumra, they will snap and go OTD.

    #922934

    MorahRach
    Member

    Sometimes the things I read here make me for a split second question why I am frum. How horrible is that???? Is this what we have to discuss, whether or not YOU think it’s appropriate for “Shira” to wear a sweatshirt? If you don’t like it don’t wear one! This makes me so angry and I hope my children never have to deal with being judges on what they wear to keep them warm.

    #922935

    postsemgirl
    Member

    Yes I firmly believe that if we cure the sweatshirt problem then we will have cured the “shidduch crisis”

    #922936

    sushee
    Member

    Keeping Shabbos is hard enough, perhaps we should allow melacha right up to shkiya (instead of 18 minutes beforehand) and again the earliest zman you can conjure up for motzei Shabbos?

    If there’s a correclation between chumras and otd, it is that pushing kulas causes folks to go otd.

    It is everyone’s requirement to worry about their neighbor’s spirituality. It’s all of our business. What one person does affects everyone else.

    #922937

    GeshmakMan
    Participant

    Trying to decide between crying and laughing at this post – BH for Frum Websites, where we can discuss such important pressing matters!!

    #922938

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    When something gets too hard people will give up.

    You cant make something so hard it becomes impossible

    #922939

    WIY
    Member

    I never said I was speaking about Tznius per se. I just personally think hoodies look childish and older girls look like young teens in them and that people should dress age appropriate. This is my impression of hoodies but feel free to disagree. This thread is NOT about Tznius and I think everyone can chill out now (in hoodies if its indoors lol).

    #922940

    WIY
    Member

    sushee

    Keeping Shabbos is “hard enough?!” Wow! Where to start this Machaah? Shabbos is the most beautiful treasure that Hashem gave us. It is a day where we bask in the heavenly glow of the Shechina and get a taste of olam haba. It is the mekor haberacha the day that infuses shefa into the future 6 days of the week. Shabbos is hard?! Its so beautiful so peaceful so holy. I love Shabbos!

    #922941

    Sabzi
    Member

    ok… so we’re all in agreement… HASC hoodies are the only sweatshirts mutar for girls to wear in public…. and if they don’t have one then they shouldn’t be in public?

    #922942

    hardatwork
    Member

    There is nothing wrong with hoodies. Girls like to be comfortable just like boys/men. It’s not fair to put the pressure on girls that they have to be all dressed up every second outside their bedroom.

    #922943

    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    ahhh everyone just let us liveee!!!! its so hard for teenage girls to have a million and one rules w/o all the extras ppl make up… sweatshirts r 10000% tnius and soo ok for girls… mayb not for yeshiva boys but thats a dif story.. lets stick to halacha kkk??

    #922944

    i love coffe
    Participant

    I agree with WIY. I think it looks inappropiate for a bat Torah to wear once she starts getting older. Its a very much American mentality for those of you who say “Why not wear them, they are so comfortable.” Just like Americans like to wear pyjamas when they go out to do their errands. Why, not? “They are so comfortable”. It looks really bad.

    “…why do you have to add more chumras to an already very limited life style?”

    MorahRach, do you really feel that you have a very limited lifestyle?

    #922945

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    lets stick to halacha

    Couldn’t agree enough.

    #922946

    MorahRach
    Member

    I love coffee, it’s not about me feeling like I have a limited life style. I don’t listen to this silly nonsense. I wear gold shoes and pink hats, I have Internet on my phone because I can control myself, I have a Facebook and no I’m not friends with guys who aren’t in my family / husbands family, I live my life according to how I see fit and try my best to follow what I believe Hashem wants me to do. I don’t tell other people what to do especially when there is no basis for it. If I see my friend c’v eating treif I would say something, but someone wearing a sweatshirt is none of our business. Just like someone wearing sheer tights or a fitted top isn’t our business. You do for you and let others do for them and in the end Hashem will let us know who was right.

    And yes in general the yeshivish world can be a limited life style. Not in the sense that you are missing out on anything, but in the sense that there are a TON of rules to follow and it takes a great deal o effort to do it but that’s what we do. Why add on more rules and regulations when it’s not needed?

    #922947

    yichusdik
    Participant

    Oh no, MR,

    “I live my life according to how I see fit and try my best to follow what I believe Hashem wants me to do. I don’t tell other people what to do especially when there is no basis for it.”

    Makes sense to me, but its a different language – maybe heresy – for some of your interlocutors here.

    here comes the hurricane…

    #922948

    yeshivish7
    Member

    MorahRach-I think your SIL started with this talk (just joking trying to be yeshivish)

    #922949

    Morah Rach, you sound like my english teacher from last year… what do you think of beowulf?

    #922950

    WIY
    Member

    MorahRach

    You and some others are making it sound like being Jewish was easy or that living a frum lifestyle is encroaching on your freedom…you are Hashems princess, a princess cant do what the peasants do or wear what the peasants wear…

    #922951

    golfer
    Participant

    MorahRach, I always look at these type of “girls-shouldn’t-wear-sweatshirts” threads and figure the OP and most of the other posters are clowning around and kidding with us. I feel as if there should be a giant JK in the title. It’s so far fetched to imagine that anybody actually takes themselves seriously enough to decide it’s assur to wear random articles articles of clothing. What’s next? Pink mittens?

    You, on the other hand, actually take the OP seriously.

    So which one of us is right?

    #922952

    MorahRach
    Member

    Golfer, hopefully you are!!! And to others.. Why is wearing a sweatshirt acting like goyim I mamish don’t get it!!!! Goyim wear earrings, is wearing earrings a goyish thing to do? I am happy to do the things Hashem asks of me, in fact I love it! But he never told me not to wear a sweatshirts.

    #922953

    SaysMe
    Member

    going back to the OP. No, sweatshirts/hoodies are not classy. They are casual, comfy wear. And imo, ok to wear for casual, comfy days. I’m against the idea of dressing up for theexclusive reason of being in shidduchim, even older teens and adults have off days, days when they’re not up to dressing up and putting on makeup. Sweatshirts work for that. Imo! However, those emblazened with logos across the back, i often dislike and hear has a less adult look. And logos on the front… Please noone attack me, but i’ve learned is a tznius issue.(cowers)

    #922954

    tahini
    Member

    |MorahRach: well said.!!

    #922955

    apushatayid
    Participant

    The only group of princesses more maligned than hashems princesses are those belonging, lihavdil, to the house of windsor.

    #922956

    Loyal Jew
    Member

    I asked a BT about sweatshirts and he told me that in high schools the best sports players give them to their “friends” who prance around in them to show off. This makes sweatshirts kli gever. They are not for a bas yisroel even when they are comfortable.

    #922957

    snowbunny-i think your english teacher, my english teacher, and morahrach all know each other 🙂

    that being said, yes, sweatshirts may cause a girl to look younger. but why is that anybody else’s business? if what’s she wearing bothers you, chances are she’s not looking for somebody like you (i have a feeling this is going to be taken the wrong way…)

    #922959

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I don’t let my wife drive my car because it’s kli gever. Her car is pink, so it shouldn’t be maris ayin.

    #922960

    MorahRach
    Member

    Loyal Jew. No. That’s their sports jacket. There are no sports sweat shirts. A foot ball player would have given his football jacket with his number on it to his ” girlfriend” for her to wear. As for sweatshirts, my father went to Kentucky on business and got me a sweatshirt there because he always gets us something when he goes away, it’s one of my favorites I even wore it on.. Wait for it.. Shabbos after dinner because I was cold and wanted to be cozy and read a book. Guys stop looking for problems in a world with too many already.

    #922961

    kfb
    Participant

    It’s so sad that women are so suppressed in our society because the men basically can’t control themselves. Instead of learning gemarah 20 hours a day and taking welfare, why don’t men work in the real world and learn NOT TO LOOK at women wearing “sweatshirts.”. All these bans are in place because men can’t control themselves. Why can’t we make bans for men so women can live a little freer. Men should wear special glasses so they can’t see that far in to the distance. Men shouldn’t be allowed to walk outside during the summer unless it’s for work. (I guess thr ban would apply to the winter as well because of all the sweatshirts women wear). Men can’t wear sandals just in case they are tempted to go the beach. Men can not have smartphones or access to Internet unless it’s for work.

    #922962

    JustHavingFun
    Participant

    people should dress age appropriate

    When my Bubba was my age, she wore “granny” shoes and an apron all day long.

    I’d rather be immature and wear my sweatshirt! (And so would my Mom!!)

    #922963

    hudi
    Participant

    WIY: Would you call off a shidduch if you found out through intense interrogation techniques that girl wears sweatshirts out of the house C”V?

    However, I do agree that there is a certain level of chashivus a kollel wife should have and therefore not wearing sweatshirts.

    #922964

    WIY
    Member

    hudi

    I personally would not want my wife to do so. There are plenty of other warm things to wear.

    #922965

    golfer
    Participant

    WIY, I’m sure your wife wants you to enjoy her appearance and won’t wear sweatshirts if you find them unattractive. What I’m still not able to figure out is, excepting women whose husbands don’t like the way they look in a sweatshirt, why would anyone find it inappropriate clothing for a nice Jewish girl/ young lady/ old lady ?

    And if we want to posit that they are not classy / lack chashivus and therefore are assur, what would be the hetter for wearing those favored articles of apparel of denizens of Willy & parts of BP- The Model’s Coat and the Turban ?

    I must admit, though, there is a certain weird fascination one must have with people who can pontificate over the permissibility of women wearing sweatshirts, when we have a new (old) prez in the US and await the installation of a new government in EY.

    P.S. MorahRach, I was also hoping I was right. But what if you are??

    #922966

    oomis
    Participant

    Methinks some of us have way too much time on their hands.

    #922967

    MorahRach
    Member

    Hudi, is it necessary to put chas vshalom after discussing women in sweatshirts?

    #922968

    SaysMe
    Member

    i’m pretty sure hudi was using ch”v sarcastically

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