HELP

like posting on the CR or biting your nails or movies?

why is that a “really bad” habit?

Movies may be worse, but B”H she doesn’t have that problem.

Start with one thing at a time.

For me that was not listening to recorded female voices.

Don’t try to take on anything big all at once. Divide and conquer.

Kylbdnr

Not so sure listening to non Jewish music is a habit. Its certainly appealing as the music and voices in many cases is better and more professional.

If you know something is not permitted you must stop doing it, for some, going cold turkey and quitting on the spot works best for others, a gradual cutting down until stopping totally works best.

Now if you have non Jewish cds at home or have the files as mp3s on your player, the best move is if you plan on going cold turkeyis to GET RID OF THEM. If you don’t have them you can’t listen. However if you primarily listen to the radio then that’s tougher.

Give us more info to better advise you.

I have successfully changed bad habits by acquiring worse habits. The new worse habit soon displaces the old.

kylbdnr

Might I recommend spending less time in front of the computer to make it easier?

Start listening to classical music. Not boring, long, stretched out stuff, but stuff like Bizet’s Carmen or Tchaikowsky’s war of 1812 and many others. If you’ll introduce yourself to this new thing it might replace the old habit. Keep in mind as well that a lot more musical planning went into the music I mention than the guitar strumming patterns.

My Rebbeim always said goyish music affects your neshama and its really bad even if you dont feel it, and at the time i thought it was a load of bull..logna (balogna). but within a year i saw what they said was true.

A classmate of mine in yeshiva (sophomore year) started listening to goyish music partly through the year. I was with him when he went to a friends house and downloaded a bunch of shmutz music on his mp3.

He rationalized “it’s not so bad listening to music”. And at the time, that’s all he did do. No more no less.

Sorry for the tangeant, back to the topic. So please don’t listen to some of the earlier posters that lack moach bekodkodan and take the TREMENDOUS responsibility of hinting another heiligh jew that “whats wrong with listening to goyish music?” even an innocent question (“what, i didnt tell them to go do it i was just asking”) is wrong, especially in reply to someone looking for help to overcome this terrible nisayon that plagues some of us.

Tell you the truth, i used to listen to goyish music myself. (may Hashem forgive me) Dont think i’m an FFB Rabbi that doesnt even know what goyish music means. Noopers, I’m still a teenager but BH i wised up about my outlook on life.

And with all honesty, even though i’ve gone through it all (rap, hip hop, techno, core, reggae, rock, punk, goth rock) I can say with all my heart that none of them have left me with feeling a sense of happiness. With the happy dance music, it was nice to groove to the beat, but when its done i would always be more down than before. And don’t even ask about rock or rap that give you negative emotions even while listening to it! ROFL (^_^)

So the way i helped myself from listening to this poisonous material to the neshama, was that i would listen to touching jewish songs that really made me feel closer to HaShem. Like i personally liked D’veykus, and also some happy songs thanking HaShem for what he’s given us. And if you prefer to help with your transition, i listened to this one awesome Jewish rock song “Mimamakim”, and i’d walk into the Bais Midrash screaming “Nafshi LaShem mishomerim, shomrim Labokerrrr, Whoaahhh!!!!” :-O …lol

I also enjoy classical music.

The main effect comes from bad lyrics, but there also comes from style and feelings put into it when it was written. So it is also highly recommended to make sure that the composer didn’t have bad kavonos or hirhurim put into the song or else that is also transferred into the song. I know it sounds like wogie woogie, hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo, but really, music is the language of the neshama and it touches straight from the maker to the listener.

But that’s for advanced people later on, while most of us have bigger problems than listening to romantic classical music. (at least i’ll speak for myself.)

the main benefit i get in this world (in addition to olam haba) from listening to jewish meaningful music is the real menuchas hanefesh i get from listening to it. When i used to listen to goyish music i would feel that it’s so lame and stupid to listen to that jewish music. But now i realize how the music really affects your emotions and feelings, and i would see clearly that friends of mine who listened to goyish music would really repeat manuvaldik lyrics about taivah and doing really inappropriate things that would make me feel disgusted. It is totally true, when a person is in the filth he can’t see it for what it is. He even thinks its chashuv and awesome, and the best way to live their life. Only an objective onlooker can see and pity what has become of this person wallowing in filth.

i highly recommend what some of the people above me said, like talking about it to someone who eally cares about you, like someone said, and also look for fun kosher alternatives to uplift you instead of this tumahdikke stuff.

so all in all, i’m sorry for making a whole drasha, but seeing another yiddishe neshama that is innocently asking for help with this serious problem touched a chord in me, and i wanted to say whatever i could to help. Hatzlacha and Shalom

Any bad or actually wrong habit can be stopped only when you have an incentive to do so, which is usually not the case, so therefore you have to seek a way that would make you want to stop that habit because nobody can force you to stop besides yourself. I personally was struggling with a bad habit which i wanted to stop for years already but coudn’t get myself to do so, until it was a time when a family member was very sick, so I made this little promise to discontinue what I was doing for a zechus for the choileh and if he has a Refuah Shelaima, I will completely stop with the wrong thing I was doing. B”H he did have a refuah Sheleima and since that day (3 1/2 years ago) it hasn’t even occured to me once to slip back. Because, I know that I overcame it and how can I ever fall back.. it’s like being a loser. Wish you lots of Hatzlach you should have the binah yeseira to realize and be able do what’s right!

kylbdnr-

The best thing is to find a new habit to occupy yourself with until this is out of your system enough that it won’t be a constant yetzer hara. Even if you fall a few times don’t worry about it, as long as you try to focus on finding something else to occupy your head.

Do you have anything else you are interested in? That’s the first place to start.

Do you have a problem with all non Jewish music or only with ‘explicit content’ type? If so, try getting into jazz, blues, or classical music. You’ll become more ‘cultured’ that way too.

kylbdnr- There’s plenty of great non-Jewish music that is up-beat and GENERALLY doesn’t have “explicit content” (You have to search around a little, but you’ll be able to find it). Try out Jazz, Classic Rock, Progressive Rock, Jazz Fusion, Instrumental Rock, Instrumental Metal, SOME Hard Rock/Heavy Metal…there’s plenty out there. I can name you many many bands that have close to zero songs with adult themes or offensive words.

I don’t enjoy classical music. I need loud beaty music.

You sound like someone who doesn’t know classical music. Remind me after Tisha B’Av and I’ll recommend some loud, “beaty” music.

MiddlePath

I don’t know your age, but I doubt there is much out there in enjoyable non Jewish music that would appeal to a teen or someone in their 20s that is squeaky clean. Yeah if you go through all the non Jewish music of the last 50 years you may find some clean songs, but I don’t think there’s any one group who made a cd that is “kosher” and enjoyable to listen to for todays generation.

“So instead of going from secular rock n roll music to Jewish hartzik music right away, you might find some hip-hop music that you like…”

going from good rock ‘n roll to hip-hop?! not a good plan IMO… it’s much trashier.

aries~ IMO good rock ‘n roll is music from the ’60’s & ’70’s.

OTOH– hip-hop, & “Gangsta rap.. a subgenre of hip hop.. reflects the violent lifestyles of inner-city American black youths.” with “lyrics [that are] more violent, openly confrontational, and shocking… featuring incessant profanity.”

I second MiddlePath again

The chassidish/Ashkenazic accent drives me CRAZY!

I started listening to Israeli Sefardic non Jewish music – but that’s the same as the English non Jewish music, except in Hebrew

kylbdnr- what about Yaakov Shwekey!? 😀

Aries, you are right, and I despise Rap as well. Partly because of the lyrical material, and partly because of the lack of musical sophistication.

yitayningwut- Really? I was unaware of that. But it still won’t get me to listen to Rap. I also enjoy songs that contain complex time signatures and have random rhythm changes, commonly found in Prog Rock/ Jazz Fusion. Does any Rap have that? I doubt it.

Remind me after Tisha B’Av and I’ll recommend some loud, “beaty” music.

You forgot to remind me. Luckily I remembered on my own. These might not all be to your taste, but give them a try. In no particular order:

Radetzky March – Strauss (Stay away from the Karajan version.)

Ruslan and Lyudmila Overture – Glinka

Tritsch Tratsch Polka – Strauss

Hungarian Dance #5 – Brahms

Russian Dance (Trepak) from The Nutcracker – Tchaikovsky

Die Fledermaus Overture – Strauss

Polonaise from Eugene Onegin – Tchaikovsky

Entry of the Gladiators (also known as Thunder and Blazes) – Fucik

Candide Overture – Bernstein

Sabre Dance – Khachaturian

Les Toreadors from Carmen Suite #1

Bugler’s Holiday – Anderson

The Typewriter – Anderson

War March of the Priests from Athalia – Mendelssohn

Mars: Bringer of War from The Planets – Holst

Jupiter: Bringer of Jollity from The Planets – Holst

Hungarian Rhapsody #2 – Liszt

Nearly anything by Sousa

Oh, and here’s a squeaky clean rap: Fear the Boom and Bust

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end of discussion