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  • #598441

    kylbdnr
    Member

    How do you stop a really bad habit?

    #798270

    adorable
    Participant

    like posting on the CR or biting your nails or movies?

    #798271

    kylbdnr
    Member

    worse…listening to non jewish music

    #798272

    farrockaway
    Member

    why is that a “really bad” habit?

    #798273

    adorable
    Participant

    i think movies is worse than the music.

    #798274

    Peacemaker
    Member

    Movies may be worse, but B”H she doesn’t have that problem.

    #798275

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    I’m just curious about three things:

    Why do you consider it a bad habit?

    What made you start this “habit”?

    What kind of non-Jewish music are you listening to?

    #798276

    MDG
    Participant

    Start with one thing at a time.

    For me that was not listening to recorded female voices.

    Don’t try to take on anything big all at once. Divide and conquer.

    #798277

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Block up your ears until you don’t want to anymore.

    #798278

    WIY
    Member

    Kylbdnr

    Not so sure listening to non Jewish music is a habit. Its certainly appealing as the music and voices in many cases is better and more professional.

    If you know something is not permitted you must stop doing it, for some, going cold turkey and quitting on the spot works best for others, a gradual cutting down until stopping totally works best.

    Now if you have non Jewish cds at home or have the files as mp3s on your player, the best move is if you plan on going cold turkeyis to GET RID OF THEM. If you don’t have them you can’t listen. However if you primarily listen to the radio then that’s tougher.

    Give us more info to better advise you.

    #798279

    Sister Bear
    Member

    Or try not to just listen during Elul and Tishrei (they’re coming up) and then every day after that do it day by day or a chunk at a time.

    #798280

    ronrsr
    Member

    I have successfully changed bad habits by acquiring worse habits. The new worse habit soon displaces the old.

    #798281

    kylbdnr
    Member

    I think it’s a bad habit cuz of the kind of music it is…there’s no point in listing names.

    I don’t have an mp3 or iPod but I’m on the computer all day, every day.

    I keep telling myself not to listen to it for a month. I started July 12th and broke it today. I only held back myself all these days cuz of the 3 weeks/9 days and all these days I’ve been listening to the AKA Pella CD (which was the same non jewish music with Jewish words)

    #798282

    WIY
    Member

    kylbdnr

    Might I recommend spending less time in front of the computer to make it easier?

    #798283

    oomis
    Participant

    Taking secular tunes and infusing them with Jewish words and content, elevates those tunes from their mundane origins. Gershon Veroba did a great job with that. The tunes are not so much the issue, it is the lyrics that might be offensive to some.

    #798284

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Start listening to classical music. Not boring, long, stretched out stuff, but stuff like Bizet’s Carmen or Tchaikowsky’s war of 1812 and many others. If you’ll introduce yourself to this new thing it might replace the old habit. Keep in mind as well that a lot more musical planning went into the music I mention than the guitar strumming patterns.

    #798285

    person3
    Member

    Tell your problem to someone who you respect and who you care what they think of you – and tell her you’ll report to her every day whether you slipped up or not. It really works!

    #798286

    My Rebbeim always said goyish music affects your neshama and its really bad even if you dont feel it, and at the time i thought it was a load of bull..logna (balogna). but within a year i saw what they said was true.

    A classmate of mine in yeshiva (sophomore year) started listening to goyish music partly through the year. I was with him when he went to a friends house and downloaded a bunch of shmutz music on his mp3.

    He rationalized “it’s not so bad listening to music”. And at the time, that’s all he did do. No more no less.

    Sorry for the tangeant, back to the topic. So please don’t listen to some of the earlier posters that lack moach bekodkodan and take the TREMENDOUS responsibility of hinting another heiligh jew that “whats wrong with listening to goyish music?” even an innocent question (“what, i didnt tell them to go do it i was just asking”) is wrong, especially in reply to someone looking for help to overcome this terrible nisayon that plagues some of us.

    Tell you the truth, i used to listen to goyish music myself. (may Hashem forgive me) Dont think i’m an FFB Rabbi that doesnt even know what goyish music means. Noopers, I’m still a teenager but BH i wised up about my outlook on life.

    And with all honesty, even though i’ve gone through it all (rap, hip hop, techno, core, reggae, rock, punk, goth rock) I can say with all my heart that none of them have left me with feeling a sense of happiness. With the happy dance music, it was nice to groove to the beat, but when its done i would always be more down than before. And don’t even ask about rock or rap that give you negative emotions even while listening to it! ROFL (^_^)

    So the way i helped myself from listening to this poisonous material to the neshama, was that i would listen to touching jewish songs that really made me feel closer to HaShem. Like i personally liked D’veykus, and also some happy songs thanking HaShem for what he’s given us. And if you prefer to help with your transition, i listened to this one awesome Jewish rock song “Mimamakim”, and i’d walk into the Bais Midrash screaming “Nafshi LaShem mishomerim, shomrim Labokerrrr, Whoaahhh!!!!” :-O …lol

    I also enjoy classical music.

    The main effect comes from bad lyrics, but there also comes from style and feelings put into it when it was written. So it is also highly recommended to make sure that the composer didn’t have bad kavonos or hirhurim put into the song or else that is also transferred into the song. I know it sounds like wogie woogie, hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo, but really, music is the language of the neshama and it touches straight from the maker to the listener.

    But that’s for advanced people later on, while most of us have bigger problems than listening to romantic classical music. (at least i’ll speak for myself.)

    the main benefit i get in this world (in addition to olam haba) from listening to jewish meaningful music is the real menuchas hanefesh i get from listening to it. When i used to listen to goyish music i would feel that it’s so lame and stupid to listen to that jewish music. But now i realize how the music really affects your emotions and feelings, and i would see clearly that friends of mine who listened to goyish music would really repeat manuvaldik lyrics about taivah and doing really inappropriate things that would make me feel disgusted. It is totally true, when a person is in the filth he can’t see it for what it is. He even thinks its chashuv and awesome, and the best way to live their life. Only an objective onlooker can see and pity what has become of this person wallowing in filth.

    i highly recommend what some of the people above me said, like talking about it to someone who eally cares about you, like someone said, and also look for fun kosher alternatives to uplift you instead of this tumahdikke stuff.

    so all in all, i’m sorry for making a whole drasha, but seeing another yiddishe neshama that is innocently asking for help with this serious problem touched a chord in me, and i wanted to say whatever i could to help. Hatzlacha and Shalom

    #798287

    MichaelC
    Member

    Learn Torah- Torah cures everything (see Talmud Eruvin)

    #798288

    cookies123
    Member

    Any bad or actually wrong habit can be stopped only when you have an incentive to do so, which is usually not the case, so therefore you have to seek a way that would make you want to stop that habit because nobody can force you to stop besides yourself. I personally was struggling with a bad habit which i wanted to stop for years already but coudn’t get myself to do so, until it was a time when a family member was very sick, so I made this little promise to discontinue what I was doing for a zechus for the choileh and if he has a Refuah Shelaima, I will completely stop with the wrong thing I was doing. B”H he did have a refuah Sheleima and since that day (3 1/2 years ago) it hasn’t even occured to me once to slip back. Because, I know that I overcame it and how can I ever fall back.. it’s like being a loser. Wish you lots of Hatzlach you should have the binah yeseira to realize and be able do what’s right!

    #798289

    haifagirl
    Participant

    Tchaikowsky’s war of 1812

    1812 Overture

    #798290

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    kylbdnr-

    The best thing is to find a new habit to occupy yourself with until this is out of your system enough that it won’t be a constant yetzer hara. Even if you fall a few times don’t worry about it, as long as you try to focus on finding something else to occupy your head.

    Do you have anything else you are interested in? That’s the first place to start.

    #798291

    kylbdnr
    Member

    I started listening to Jewish songs with the non Jewish tunes but it’s not the same. The other words pop into my head while listening to the Jewish version.

    HaLeiVi – I don’t enjoy classical music. I need loud beaty music. The tunes of other songs drive me crazy.

    person3- I tried that. I’m able to keep my word for 2/3 weeks and then I can’t hold back anymore.

    FantabulousEyebrows- I know it affects the neshama etc. I listen to Jewish music too, but I can’t leave the other music behind.

    cookies123- I make promises for myself to try very hard not to listen to such music but it doesn’t hold up that long.

    yitayningwut- I’m a college student. Most of the time I’m on the computer doing my school work. As I do that, I listen to music. It’s not like I can do anything else while doing homework.

    #798292

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Do you have a problem with all non Jewish music or only with ‘explicit content’ type? If so, try getting into jazz, blues, or classical music. You’ll become more ‘cultured’ that way too.

    #798293

    kylbdnr
    Member

    The chassidish/Ashkenazic accent drives me CRAZY!

    I started listening to Israeli Sefardic non Jewish music – but that’s the same as the English non Jewish music, except in Hebrew

    #798294

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    kylbdnr- There’s plenty of great non-Jewish music that is up-beat and GENERALLY doesn’t have “explicit content” (You have to search around a little, but you’ll be able to find it). Try out Jazz, Classic Rock, Progressive Rock, Jazz Fusion, Instrumental Rock, Instrumental Metal, SOME Hard Rock/Heavy Metal…there’s plenty out there. I can name you many many bands that have close to zero songs with adult themes or offensive words.

    #798295

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    I second MiddlePath

    #798296

    haifagirl
    Participant

    I don’t enjoy classical music. I need loud beaty music.

    You sound like someone who doesn’t know classical music. Remind me after Tisha B’Av and I’ll recommend some loud, “beaty” music.

    #798297

    uneeq
    Member

    To FantabulousEyebrows: While I believe that music can affect the neshama, in my experience its only the dirty, cheap “hit” music that they play on the radio constantly. Any music that is clean, I personally never felt a problem listening to including even my favorite, heavy metal. Although, I do believe that I would be better off without it, as I have been recently, just like I am better off without going to sports games (but it doesn’t make sports games assur or derogatory.

    BTW, first post here, longtime lurker

    #798298

    WIY
    Member

    MiddlePath

    I don’t know your age, but I doubt there is much out there in enjoyable non Jewish music that would appeal to a teen or someone in their 20s that is squeaky clean. Yeah if you go through all the non Jewish music of the last 50 years you may find some clean songs, but I don’t think there’s any one group who made a cd that is “kosher” and enjoyable to listen to for todays generation.

    #798299

    aries2756
    Participant

    In order to change a negative you replace it with a positive. So in order to stop a bad habit you replace it with a good habit. If you are trying to change the music you listen to, find another type of music to listen to. You might have to wean yourself off slowly. So instead of going from secular rock n roll music to Jewish hartzik music right away, you might find some hip-hop music that you like and then find some hip-hop jewish music and then ease into regular popular jewish artists that have a good beat or a good message like Soul Farm or that type. That would probably work better than replacing secular music immediately with Avrohom Fried.

    I am sure that you didn’t switch from Jewish Music to secular music over night and you probably won’t be able to switch back over night. It will probably be a work in progress. So start working and give yourself credit for every cd you listen to and every cd you give up. There are a lot of Jewish music you can listen to and buy on Itunes. You would be surprised how many groups there are and how entertaining they are.

    #798300

    always here
    Participant

    “So instead of going from secular rock n roll music to Jewish hartzik music right away, you might find some hip-hop music that you like…”

    going from good rock ‘n roll to hip-hop?! not a good plan IMO… it’s much trashier.

    #798301

    aries2756
    Participant

    How would you know that? What is considered “good” rock ‘n roll and what is considered “trashy” hip hop?

    #798302

    always here
    Participant

    aries~ IMO good rock ‘n roll is music from the ’60’s & ’70’s.

    OTOH– hip-hop, & “Gangsta rap.. a subgenre of hip hop.. reflects the violent lifestyles of inner-city American black youths.” with “lyrics [that are] more violent, openly confrontational, and shocking… featuring incessant profanity.”

    #798303

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    WIY- I am actually in my lower 20’s, and I can easily name over 50 bands that have 99% clean material in a wide variety of genres, from Jazz to Heavy Metal. I don’t know if this music is appealing to teenagers right now (I assume Rap/Hip Hop and Pop are the most popular genres for teens, currently), but I enjoy it. And I can also easily name over 50 albums that have absolutely NO vulgar words or inappropriate material.

    Concerning another point brought up here, I’m fairly certain that most Rock is much more appropriate than most Rap/Hip Hop.

    #798304

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    I second MiddlePath again

    #798305

    aries2756
    Participant

    aries~ IMO good rock ‘n roll is music from the ’60’s & ’70’s.

    OTOH– hip-hop, & “Gangsta rap.. a subgenre of hip hop.. reflects the violent lifestyles of inner-city American black youths.” with “lyrics [that are] more violent, openly confrontational, and shocking… featuring incessant profanity.”

    Obviously those were not the ones I was suggesting he listen to. OTOH, there are a lot of fun upbeat hip hop tunes that do NOT contain vulgar, violent lyrics. And I never said “RAP”. That is a whole different genre that I happened to despise.

    #798306

    brotherofurs
    Participant

    The chassidish/Ashkenazic accent drives me CRAZY!

    I started listening to Israeli Sefardic non Jewish music – but that’s the same as the English non Jewish music, except in Hebrew

    kylbdnr- what about Yaakov Shwekey!? 😀

    #798307

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    I concur with aries2756

    #798308

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    Aries, you are right, and I despise Rap as well. Partly because of the lyrical material, and partly because of the lack of musical sophistication.

    #798309

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    It happens to be that lately there has been a rise of musical sophistication in rap. Nothing unbelievable but sometimes the rapper will just branch off into a melodious shtickel and stick in a nice major or seventh or something. But it still ain’t Mozart.

    #798310

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    yitayningwut- Really? I was unaware of that. But it still won’t get me to listen to Rap. I also enjoy songs that contain complex time signatures and have random rhythm changes, commonly found in Prog Rock/ Jazz Fusion. Does any Rap have that? I doubt it.

    #798311

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Lol, for complex time signatures in rap you’re going to have to wait a while. But I do think it is evolving.

    #798312

    kylbdnr
    Member

    I’ve tried MBD, Avrohom Fried, Shwekey, Baruch Levine, Meydad Tasa…I don’t enjoy any of them.

    #798313

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    kylbdnr-

    What about Blue Fringe, Moshav Band, Soulfarm, 8th day? Also, in more “mainstream” Jewish music, the more recent Lipa albums and Benny Friedman are quite enjoyable to the ear of someone used to current pop music.

    #798314

    haifagirl
    Participant

    Remind me after Tisha B’Av and I’ll recommend some loud, “beaty” music.

    You forgot to remind me. Luckily I remembered on my own. These might not all be to your taste, but give them a try. In no particular order:

    Radetzky March – Strauss (Stay away from the Karajan version.)

    Ruslan and Lyudmila Overture – Glinka

    Tritsch Tratsch Polka – Strauss

    Hungarian Dance #5 – Brahms

    Russian Dance (Trepak) from The Nutcracker – Tchaikovsky

    Die Fledermaus Overture – Strauss

    Polonaise from Eugene Onegin – Tchaikovsky

    Entry of the Gladiators (also known as Thunder and Blazes) – Fucik

    Candide Overture – Bernstein

    Sabre Dance – Khachaturian

    Les Toreadors from Carmen Suite #1

    Bugler’s Holiday – Anderson

    The Typewriter – Anderson

    War March of the Priests from Athalia – Mendelssohn

    Mars: Bringer of War from The Planets – Holst

    Jupiter: Bringer of Jollity from The Planets – Holst

    Hungarian Rhapsody #2 – Liszt

    Nearly anything by Sousa

    Oh, and here’s a squeaky clean rap: Fear the Boom and Bust

    #798316

    WIY
    Member

    MiddlePath

    Perfectly clean?! I know some of these songs from my old days. They may be cleaner than todays pop music but they aren’t clean unless you have low standards of clean. Anyone can google the lyrics to these songs and see for themselves!

    Mods is this what we do here? We promote non Jewish music?

    #798317

    kylbdnr
    Member

    Thanks for remembering 🙂 I listened to 3 of them so far…there’s no words…it was driving me insane

    #798318

    wiy

    i dont know these songs

    if the poster said they are clean i dont have the time or foolishness to listen to them to corroborate.

    as far as things on this site that are not “kosher” if everything perfectly “kosher” was eliminated there would be almost nothing left (not necessarily a bad idea)

    i dont appreciate your constant criticism of the moderation here lately

    if it disturbs you, you already stated you are aware of your options. lets leave ranting against the moderation staff out of those options please.

    #798319

    WIY
    Member

    deleted

    read my previous post more carefully

    end of discussion

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