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    A Heimishe Mom

    “PPD” can take many forms at many levels. Lack of sleep can be a huge trigger for at least the “blues.” And crying for no reason, even though you are fine in between is definitely at least the “blues.” I’ve BTDT many times over to varying degrees (B”H never needed meds). You need first and foremost sleep! Let your husband give a mid-night bottle or two. Work out the best time for both of you. You need a good stretch of sleep. Even if not every night. Your nursing won’t suffer for it (if you were concerend about that).

    Household help can be tough if finances are tight – teach your husband what a broom and a mop are, and even your big ones can fold laundry (so its not perfect, big deal). Let your friends send over suppers (that was a lifesaver for me – we all got a square dinner at least). And send your toddler to a babysitter for a couple of hours a day so you can catch a nap.

    Mazal Tov and hatzlacha!


    m in I – “Health — The medical information you quoted actually contradicts your original post. The AAP recommends AGAINST supplementing with bottles in the early weeks, except when necessary. It is also not uncommon for young babies to refuse bottles (as you quote “this increases the likelihood that the baby will accept it”, meaning sometimes the baby does not accept it), while many babies who are exclusively nursed when young have no trouble switching to bottles between 2 and 4 months. A lot depends on the individual child’s personality and sucking habits. Your comments of “Your kid is way too young to be only demanding to have you” and “If you keep giving her your milk everytime she cries, she will never get used to a bottle” are not supported by the medical establishment — nor are they true in the experience of myself and many other nursing mothers who I know. I have also never heard the idea that an exhausted, starving baby will be more likely to accept a bottle then a calm one (” Eventually the kid will be so exhausted- she will take the bottle.”) It is more likely that eventually the baby will be so exhausted she’ll fall asleep — and wake up even more hungry after an hour! I usually enjoy all your medically sound posts, but it seems to be that this time you went with your personal feelings or perhaps experiences, without stopping to determine the current medical position on this issue.”

    What a long winded post about nothing! Why do you think perhaps I posted the second time, if not to correct my OP?


    SC – “Health- as a side note- I watched 2 different newborns recently laying on their back and choking while spitting up. They couldnt swallow and it was choking them. If i wouldnt realize in both incidents, Im scared to think of the consequences.”

    WOW! So you decided because of two incidents that you know better than the medical establishment. Was the kid really choking – no breathing/turning blue or just gurgling/coughing? Even if it was a real choking, had you gone to your PCP (if you have one)- they might have suggested to wrap up a baby blanket and keep the baby on its’ side, instead of its’ belly! It has been proven to cause more SIDS -laying on their belly than their back!

    Not too smart – Cookie!


    you have to be very wary of even large scale “properly conducted” medical studies. these very same studies are constantly being overturned. the very same pediatricians would have been aghast and highly critical of your parenting skills had you let a baby sleep on their back a few years ago.

    if one wants to be a physician and not a medical computer one must use seichel. one must have seichel

    this particular study, included low economic classes who tend to fill their babies cribs with soft pillows and fluffy blankets on super soft matresses as they consider this very baby like.

    all my grandchilren put their babies to bed on their stomachs. they are more comfortable, sleep better and are less prone to choking. they sleep on firm matresses with none or 1 thin blanket

    i am not recommending this as a course of action for anyone here. this is not the CURRENTLY accepted medical advice. please ask your pediatrician


    A few years ago, I was told my the head doctor of a PICU to put my baby to sleep on his stomach. He had severe reflux and did choke on his spit up on his back. This doctor said that the studies aren’t reliable because the criteria for what constitutes SIDS changed around the same time that the back-to-sleep study was conducted. I usually put my babies to sleep on their sides, but I’m less nervous about tummy sleeping now than I was before he told me this.


    Mod 80 – You are correct -that medical practice is changing all the time. But right now the current recommendations are “Back to sleep”. As far as I remember, all my kids slept on their bellies.

    But that was before the current recommendations. Acc. to the Torah you have to make Histadlus; following the current recommendations is called doing your Histadlus!


    yay, mod. 80. i know you’re not endorsing it, but i’ve NEVER heard of a doctor even suggesting that it’s not the worst thing in the world. so, kol hakavod to you for being so progressive!!! all my babies go to sleep on their stomach, cuz that’s the only way i’ve been able to get more than a half hour sleep at a time. (admittedly, i do breathe a sigh of relief once my baby is over the 6 month mark).

    my babies also pick up their heads and necks, turn over, etc. way before other babies who are flat on their backs all day (which also can prevent SIDS as they can move their bodies if they’re having any difficulty). also, very rarely do doctors emphasize in same tone of voice how important nursing is in preventing sids. my babies sleep in a co-sleeper next to me (though do sometimes end up sleeping with me in bed), and believe me – i am very aware of my babies and am not at all concerned about rolling on top of them.


    mother in israel – mazal tov!

    you’re normal, at least what i know of you from the cr. 😉

    i’ve been there too and only chance of sanity was to go to bed very early and nap when 2 year old is napping also, even if house is messy for some time. good luck!


    Thanks, binah. I’m terrible about going to bed early, but I’m going to make an effort tonight. I missed my nap today. 🙁



    Mod 80 took the words out of my head about back to sleep. I don’t believe that their studies were all proven that babies died ONLY because they slept on their back. Sleeping on the stomach doesn’t put baby into danger. Otherwise I wouldn’t do it.

    You’re not a mom and will never be since you’re a male, but sometimes we do know better than dr.s. It’s something we just cannot explain.

    And no, I’m not so smart at all, but I do know how to care fore children.

    May Hashem protect us all.


    Here are the current guidelines from the AAP. I didn’t copy all of it -it’s 11 pages. If you want all of it, it’s on their website. They now say that side sleeping is not recommended as an alternative to back sleeping, but still better than prone (belly) sleeping. So I guess if the baby really is choking on the spit up -use the side position but make sure they can’t turn on their belly -use the rolled up blanket to position that he/she can’t move. Anyway here it is:

    “1. Back to sleep: Infants should be placed for sleep

    in a supine position (wholly on the back) for

    every sleep. Side sleeping is not as safe as supine

    sleeping and is not advised.

    2. Use a firm sleep surface: Soft materials or objects

    such as pillows, quilts, comforters, or sheepskins

    should not be placed under a sleeping infant. A

    firm crib mattress, covered by a sheet, is the

    recommended sleeping surface.

    3. Keep soft objects and loose bedding out of the

    crib: Soft objects such as pillows, quilts, comforters,

    sheepskins, stuffed toys, and other soft objects

    environment. If bumper pads are used in cribs,

    they should be thin, firm, well secured, and not

    blankets and sheets may be hazardous. If blan-

    kets are to be used, they should be tucked in

    is less likely to become covered by bedding. One

    strategy is to make up the bedding so that the

    (feet to foot), with the blankets tucked in around

    the crib mattress and reaching only to the level of

    clothing with no other covering over the infant or

    infant sleep sacks that are designed to keep the

    infant warm without the possible hazard of head


    4. Do not smoke during pregnancy: Maternal

    smoking during pregnancy has emerged as a

    major risk factor in almost every epidemiologic

    after birth has emerged as a separate risk factor

    in a few studies, although separating this variable

    from maternal smoking before birth is problematic.

    hand smoke is advisable for numerous

    reasons in addition to SIDS risk.

    5. A separate but proximate sleeping environment

    is recommended: The risk of SIDS has been

    shown to be reduced when the infant sleeps in

    the same room as the mother. A crib, bassinet, or

    cradle that conforms to the safety standards of

    the Consumer Product Safety Commission and

    ASTM (formerly the American Society for Testing

    provide easy access for the mother to the infant,

    especially for breastfeeding, but safety standards

    for these devices have not yet been established

    by the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

    Although bed-sharing rates are increasing in

    the United States for a number of reasons, including

    facilitation of breastfeeding, the task

    force concludes that the evidence is growing that

    bed sharing, as practiced in the United States and

    other Western countries, is more hazardous than

    the infant sleeping on a separate sleep surface

    and, therefore, recommends that infants not bed

    share during sleep. Infants may be brought into

    bed for nursing or comforting but should be

    returned to their own crib or bassinet when the

    parent is ready to return to sleep. The infant

    should not be brought into bed when the parent

    is excessively tired or using medications or substances

    that could impair his or her alertness.

    which, when placed close to their bed, will allow

    for more convenient breastfeeding and contact.

    Infants should not bed share with other children.

    Because it is very dangerous to sleep with an

    infant on a couch or armchair, no one should

    sleep with an infant on these surfaces.”


    MII- how are you doing?


    Thanks for asking. I’m doing better than I was. I still cry but not as much as I was last week. My pneumonia is better BH–I just had a recheck today and my lungs are clear. I’m still extremely tired all the time, but I guess that’s not unexpected. My baby is delicious but she hasn’t read the girls on Shavuos thread so she doesn’t know that it’s pikuach nefesh for me not to sleep through the night.


    Read up on dysphoric milk ejection reflex & see if it sounds like what you have!


    MII- glad to hear you’re doing better! You better get to rest on YOM TOV! No getting up to serve!

    Enjoy and feel all good!


    MiI – And I hope you’re putting the baby on her back to sleep.


    health- don’t know if you meant to be funny, but LOL!


    Read up on dysphoric milk ejection reflex & see if it sounds like what you have!

    I read a little and it sounds fascinating! I’m pretty sure that’s not what I have though because I’ve never noticed a connection between my crying and nursing. I don’t notice a feeling of relief when I have a letdown. (I’ve been having pretty painful letdowns, actually.)

    MII- glad to hear you’re doing better! You better get to rest on YOM TOV! No getting up to serve!

    Thanks! I’m afraid my days of sitting through the seuda are long gone, but my husband does help me so I’m not going back and forth to the kitchen too much. And I do hope to rest.

    am yisrael chai


    It’s been a are you doing now?

    Hope all is well with you.


    AYC- you beat me to this! I wanted to bring back up this thread. I’m thinking about MII and wondering if she’s ok.


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