I'm sure it was an oversight

It could be something as simple as getting lost in the mail, dropping out of the pile/bag on the way to the post office, or any of a half-dozen other explanations that don’t imply anything about you personally.

The Wolf

It could be wolf but its not

How do you know that? Did you see a guest list and confirm that your name is not on it? Did you actually speak to one of the ba’alei simcha?

(I’m not intending to be confrontational… just curious as to how you know it.)

The Wolf

having made 4 weddings, B’H, I KNOW that a number of invitations get lost in the mail.

Goq~ please be comforted & don’t take it personally. .. my! that sounded trite .. but it is sincere 🙂

Just intuition you can discount that if you like but i have alot of experience in matters like these.

Okay. If you say so.

The Wolf

Goq: There is a BIG chance your invitation got lost in the mail. I don’t think you should trust your intuition. Simply because it makes you feel bad. I used to make assumptions about others’ thoughts, wrongdoings etc. and it got me nowhere. It just got me to be miserable and upset.

I’d suggest you ask someone close to you to ask the Rosh Yeshiva what the matter is.

Life is full of disappointments. If you always feel victimized you will be the victim. But if you get up straight and say to yourself, “Hey, s/he won’t ruin my day. I will not go around upset because of what s/he did. I think I’m an ok person and if they disagree, it’s their problem.”

Hatzlacha Rabba.

Are you truly insulted or it’s just the principle? Do you have as much to do with this baal simcha as the rest of your co-workers? Were they invited to the full wedding or just the chupa? Weddings are expensive and it’s come to a point where people stop inviting people “just because”.

I had a neighbor complaining to me how much his wedding was going to cost and I told him, “why do you have to invite anyone you say hello to? You don’t have to invite me just because I’m your neighbor”….and you know what, He didn’t. and I was very happy not to have to shlep out of obligation.

Goq- can you think of a reson as to why he wouldn’t want you at his wedding? You don’t have to tell us, I’m just curious if there’s reasoning behind your accusations.

Some people are more sensitive than others and you happen to be a sensitive soul. Things do happen and sensitive people always take it personally. Those that you mentioned it to should have taken it upon themselves to mention to the Baal Simcha that you didn’t get an invitation and clear up the matter. If you are NOT close with the him then you should not feel insulted. If it was by error or it was lost, then you should rise above it and not feel badly, many things go wrong when making a simcha. Be a mentch and offer your best wishes and leave it at that. Many times when you just give your blessings the Baal Simcha will say “I hope to see you there, or don’t be late” or something like that. In that case you can say “I never got the invite” or just assume it was lost or whatever.

Or you can ask the RY what he thinks. Tell him you feel awkward. Let him know that you wouldn’t want to insult the Baal Simcha by not coming if he intended to invite you and the invitation got lost since everyone else was invited. But then again, you didn’t get the invite and you wouldn’t want to go if you weren’t invited.

Crash the wedding and take an upfront seat.

Come over to this person and tell him Mazel Tov. That’s it, don’t mention about the invitation or anything and just wait and see if he’ll ask you if you are coming.

The only way to find out the truth is only after the wedding. Next time you see him at work, wish him mazel tov and if he doesn’t ask where you were or why you couldn’t make it, etc. then you’ll have your answer

i agree with tobg. Go over to him and wish him a nice mazel tov and see what he says

Several years ago a friend made a Bar Mitzvah and one friend didn’t get an invitation. The one that didn’t get an invitation didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to ask , because then she would definitely be invited. She decided to go and just say Mazel tov and not stay. When she arrived, the hostess greeted her very warmly (no surprise at her coming) and showed her where the other friends are seated. She stayed for the meal.

About a week later the hostess called her up and said, “You can’t imagine how I appreciate your coming to my Bar Mitzvah. Your invitation came back today.”

“If i were getting married then yes i would invite him not because i like him but because it is the proper thing to do if u invite some u should invite all”

True. So this guy is guilty of not doing the right thing and/or not worrying about other people’s feelings. It’s upsetting that there are people like that out there, unfortunately many. But it’s clearly not a case where someone who you thought was your friend excluded you.

ok first let me get to that point (if i make it there intact) and i will make sure to keep you posted. lets just keep davening for each other

wb,

It’s good you translated; you forgot the ??? in the original post.

Minyan not e/o follows up on return cards also could be the office was invited to the chuppah or simchas choson v’kallah so no returns.

Goq, really really really really invitations do get lost in the mail. Lately it has gotten so bad many many people hand deliver those they can, not to save on postage but because then they know it got there. I can’t imagine a/o inviting e/o in an office and leaving one person out. even if you couldn’t stand the person you’d still invite them because you would look so awful.

omg i feel so bad for you. dont think of yourself as inferior because of that