Los Angeles, Yes or No?

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  • #592548

    I was recently offered a job out in L.A. with would require me to move my family out there. But I don’t know much about the city, the jewish aspect -that is , the schools for my kids , Mesivtas beis Yaakov etc,

    I understand that it isnt as large as lets say Brooklyn (the frum community) , but I am not aware what it has to offer. Can anyone familiar with L.A. or someone that lives there fill me in?

    Also, i never expeienced leaving a city with my whole family and starting anew, anyone who has expirienced this please let me know the ups and down.

    #1065305

    Moving your family can be rough on your kids depending on the age , although im not sure about LA ,it is a very warm community . Just keep in mind it is known for its pritzus, its billboards can make you feel like you are living in Time Square

    #1065306

    Hatzlocha rabba, whichever way you & your rebetzin decide to go.

    #1065307

    Sacrilege
    Member

    I recently visited LA and abesolutely fell in love with it! The community is huge! They have TONS of restaurants and plents of supermarkets. I have a cousin in Kollel there and from what I understand they have a great BY. I cant give advice on moving a family, but I’d move there in a heartbeat.

    #1065308

    Sacrilege; thanx for the info, but didnt you notice the pritzus like Matziv Chapper mentioned? not sure what to think about that, to raise kids in such an environment,

    #1065309

    bpt
    Participant

    My son stayed in Hancock Park for a few days, and he said its a nice community. So if that’s where you’re headed, you should be very happy (and the weather is nicer than NYC.. unless you have an aversion to heat)

    #1065310

    EzratHashem
    Member

    We moved several times with children, and they take it the hardest, especially being the new kid in school where classmates have been together for years. We would not voluntarily move again, if our children were happy and settled in their schools, not even to improve our financial situation.

    #1065311

    mybat
    Member

    ive been to LA many times and its a really nice place. Much nicer than say brooklyn. Ive never really noticed any pritzus that was worse than anywhere else. But if you are seriously thinking of moving you would have to take trip ot there with your wife to see what types of schools there are, where you would live and to feel the ambience.

    About moving kids schools….. It really depends on the ages, but it is a rough change, so keep that in mind as well.

    #1065312

    labochur
    Member

    As for the pritzus (i live in la obviously) when i went to brooklyn, i saw more or less the same things. theres a few billboards here or there, mainly on two streets (which many people are makpid not to walk on) which are not good for kids, but from my experience, kids dont pay much attention to billboards anyways.

    As for the community it is very, very, very, very warm, and if i had to describe the yeshivishe community, i’d call it “lakewood yeshivish”. There isnt much in between yeshivish and very modern though. (of course there are yechidim who are in middle)

    The elementary schools are great, (i dont know what ur hashkafos are) and toras emes (which ive attended)is a great school, with THE BEST rabbeim, seems to be a very popular choice.

    The Beis Yakov is very good, i have sibblings that attended, attend and will attend there. Supposedly this is one of the beis yakovs that the most girls (or at least a lot of girls) get into top seminaries.

    As for mesivtos, theres all types. Yeshiva gedolah is very good, with top, top, experienced rabbeim, which is good for very yeshivishe smart boys (some other boys go there too, but it never really works out). The boys from here get into yeshivos like fallsburg, patterson, passaic, torah temimah, r’ motty dick, etc. MBY is also starting to prove itself (its five years old) and they tend to get less yeshivishe bochurim, but a smart kid that goes there will still end up in the best Yeshivos.

    If you have any more questions, ask!

    #1065313

    labachur thanx so much for your help, there is another yeshiva in LA i think, im not sure, i know its near la, its in a city called Calabass . i saw a lot about it in the hamodia once, any info?

    #1065314

    Sacrilege
    Member

    CC – Honestly, I went as a tourist so I was kind of surprised how close Hollywood Blvd (labachur,is this what you are refering to)was to the frum community (its like a 5 minute drive).

    I liked the whole attitude of the city its very chilled, and very warm, on shabbosim you see a lot of Jews walking its really nice.

    Then again I’m a NYer with a mutant gene who just loves out-of-town 🙂

    #1065315

    labochur
    Member

    Sacrilege, yes, those streets/melrose arent clean areas.

    CC, the calabassas yeshiva is also a very good yeshiva, however a lot less established. the quality of the bochurim change by the year and is more or less completely random. but i know of a lot of good bochurim that were produced there.

    #1065316

    phillybubby
    Participant

    My niece lives in L.A. with her family (5 kids). They are very happy there (she’s originally from Brooklyn). But one word of caution–the cost of living in California is way higher than in New York (housing, kosher food, gasoline, etc.) I also believe that tuitions are higher.

    Add to that the cost of flying back “home” every once in a while to visit family, attend simchas… The job offer needs to be a lot better than what you have now and secure. Hatzlacha Rabah!

    #1065317

    smile66
    Member

    all i can say is the bais yaakov is excellent, if i do say so myself

    Rabbi Bursztyn came in years ago, and back then it was a lot more “chilled” shall we say. And he started raising the standards all of a sudden and people were all telling him to chill out and calm down but he didn’t and that is what has lead Los Angeles, Entertainment Capital of the World, to having a true bais yaakov school today. And on top of being strict in a good way, he’s just an amazingly caring menahel. What can I say, I love my high school 🙂

    #1065318

    mybat
    Member

    Isnt calabasas very expensive?

    #1065319

    LAtutzach27
    Member

    As a current resident of Los Angeles for more than 2 decades, this is my opinion:

    1.You need A LOT of money to LIVE in LA. If your wife is not planning to work, forget about coming. If you own a house wherever you are and sell it, you will probably be able to buy a garage over here. (I guess that depends where you are now.)

    2.Mesivta of Greater Los Angeles – otherwise known as the CALABASAS YESHIVA is an excellant mosad. It is WELL ESTABLISHED and produces wonderful bochurim. I have first hand experience! Rabbi Gottesman and all the rabbeim are superb!! (and if you meant tuition when you said expensive – it is no more expensive than anywhere else. The housing in Calabasas is expensive but I guarantee that is not where you would be living.)Furthermore, unlike all the other LA yeshivos,it is out of the city and away from the pritzus and distractions. The boys stay there all week and come home for shabbos. That has the benefits of both an in and out of town yeshiva. You wont see Calabasas boys between sedarim, reading the LA times from a newspaper stand.

    3.Bais Yaakov is excellant! I can attest to that first hand too.

    4.Mybat: The pritzus is geferlach compared to other places. Maybe you keep your eyes closed wherever you go. A friend from Miami(where the weather is similar) with family here says that LA is definitely worse!

    5.If you are planning such a major family move, I would do a lot of personal research before moving. You will get many opinions about the schools, shuls, and other establishments here but unless you see them yourself, you cannot be sure what is “for you”.

    #1065320

    everything labachur said and more! The community is warm, nice, and welcoming. There are excellent schools. Bais Yaakov isn’t the typical very yeshivish bais yaakove-its a huge mix. They have some other high schools also although bais yaakov is the biggest. They also have quite a few elementary schools here. There are very yeshivish people as well as less yeshivish and modern. They even have a few chassidish families. They have quite a few kollelim and in general its a beautiful blossoming community. Plus you get to enjoy sunny california 🙂

    #1065321

    pet peeve
    Member

    i can’t give you any solid information on the community/schools, etc, but i will say that i have many friends who are from l.a and they are some of the nicest, warmest, friendliest and “real” people i know. very impressed by their quality.

    #1065322

    arc
    Participant

    To me Miami was worse oritzus because of the hefkeirus of the “frum” people there. In LA the pritzus wasnt from “unzerer”.

    To me (3 young kids)if I had an opportunity to move out of town* at this point I would (assuming money/cost of living was worthwhile).

    *frum community and schools.

    #1065323

    laguy
    Member

    As a resident of LA almost my whole life, here’s what I can tell you. Whatever hashkafa you follow, you’ll find a community here to fit into. LA has many of the same essential organizations that NY has, Bikur Cholim Tomchei Shabbos, Hatzolah, etc. As far as the billboards and things of that nature, sometimes people who live here don;t see them because it has become part of the landscape, but it is disgusting at best. It is not uncommon to have a HUGE billboard with unquestionable pritzus put up right in the heart of the yeshivish community. Understand, the people here are warm and nice, but the community exists WITHIN the larger LA community which includes the clubs, movie theaters, restaurant, and everything else to cater to the younger “hip” crowd that LA truly attracts.

    This is a great town but you MUST go into this with your eyes WIDE OPEN.

    Lastly, be very aware that the cost of living here is very high. If you choose to live in the Yeshivish community, i.e. Hancock Park or the areas that surround the original Kollel (Beverly/La Brea) you had better be prepared to spend $1,000,000 for a house, and that’s for a moderate size house (3BD 3Bath). If you go to the “other side of town” also know as Pico, you may be able to find something a little cheaper, but prices are around the same. The Valley has houses more moderately priced but starting in the $600,000 range, but that includes “commuting” to the City. Rents for a place for a family will start at about $2500 and will go up from there.

    Tuitions will start at $18,000 per kid at any school you choose, but they will work with you if you need it.

    Good luck on making this choice, if you do choose to come here, you will be welcomed with open arms.

    #1065324

    bpt
    Participant

    If I could swing an $18,000 per kid tuition, I’ll bet I’d be welcome anywhere on the planet.

    And if you paid that kind of $ in NYC (with 2 or 3 exceptional schools) you would be carried around on the principal’s shoulders.

    The $1mil house would be a yawner in NYC, though, so maybe LA is not such a bad venue after all.

    I wonder if the screen name LA Totty is already taken….?

    #1065325

    fabie
    Member

    I grew up in LA – in the Valley, and moved to E”Y many years ago. Since my parents made aliya, I haven’t been back since.

    My oldest brother was working as a menahel there this last year, while his family was in E”Y, commuting regularly.

    While I went to Day School, I also learned in the Y”G for a short period of time, and am familiar with B”Y high school a little bit.

    I had an excellent experience in Day School, and that’s what inspired me to come to E”Y and drop plans for going to college and dedicate my life to Torah.

    Please don’t get me wrong about what I’m going to say!

    I would be very hesistant to move there if you expect to live a life anywhere similar to BP, Monsey, Lakewood, etc. Check your resources well.

    LA is big, spread out, fun – maybe the term Fruppy (an oldy) is applicable, laid back (a former UK affluent roommate of mine in MIR, who visited LA put it, you can cruise in a Jaguar at 55 MPH), although not as much as it used to be. The frum community is no where near the size of a community like BP. I’m looking for some other terms, but seem to be short.

    If I were to move back to the states, a possibility I’ve been researching. I would goto one of the previous 3 mentioned if possible, and if going out of town, some place on the east coast, else Detroit would probably be a top choice as well.

    I wouldn’t count out LA, but I grew up there, and I think I could live there based upon my prinicipals, knowing how to adjust.

    Good luck!

    #1065326

    talking stam
    Member

    i didn’t read through all the posts, so i apologize if i repeat anything that was already said. a few years ago i moved with my spouse and young children from brooklyn to LA. i have a lot to say about the matter, but i’m short on time right now, so i’ll keep it brief. LA has an amazing jewish community, close knit and warm. i especially liked the chilled attitude of the city in general, jewish and secular. however, it is more difficult to integrate into the community than you would imagine. and although the weather is awsome (summer all year, and about ten days of rain total the entire year!) and the scenery is beautiful (palm trees everywhere) and the people are really friendly and chilled, there is a big culture shock because the culture is COMPLETELY different, it feels like moving to another country. there are new parking laws (we got lots of tickets at the biginning) and there are unspoken driving laws (cars always stop for pedestrians here, as a new yorker you can imagine that was a shock!) and everything moves slower, etc… i felt very displaced for about half a year after moving here. and my children also felt the culture shock. the yeshiva is wonderful, but it is so different from what they were used to.

    another important factor to take into account is that the cost of living here is really big, and although our parnassah is about 50 percent more than in brooklyn, we are having almost as hard a time meeting our monthly expenses because they are also 50 percent greater.

    the tznius is not as bad as new york. since its more chilled here, even the goyim don’t dress as prizusdik, because they are in casual, baggy clothing. and the frum community dresses more tzinius than the flatbush crowd, in my opinion. there are billboards, but certainly not everywhere, like in times square, and the kids don’t really notice.

    LA has many amazing qualities. but it will be a big change. and more expensive than you can imagine. if you have any more questions, let me know. i’ve been there, done that…

    #1065327

    I was very busy last night so I gave u a very brief description but now I can elaborate. First of all I disagree with a few people. LA can’t be labeled as more or less tznius because there are SO many different types here. There are very yeshivish people (although they are still plenty open-minded), there are less yeshivish people, even less yeshivish, modern, MO, All types! A lot depends on how yeshivish you are-where u would live here. The area where I live is more yeshivish and the schools I am affiliated with are also more yeshivish. They do have much more of a limited choice and the community is very spread out and mixed up. There’s not that much choice in schools. There are many kollelim all over. There are pretty few yeshivas and I’d say Yeshiva Gedolah is the biggest. The community is very warm. Yes, the mentality is very different. Nobody pushes, shoves, screams, honks, speeds, etc. here. People are calmer, friendlier, nicer and more patient. People don’t stare at you all day, they are more open-minded and all around a very nice place. Hollywood is probably five minutes from my house but if you don’t want to you don’t go. I don’t even know which movie stars live next door to me! The billboards I got used to (but I’m a girl) since I grew up here. This post is getting long but if you need any more info. maybe the mods can give you my email or something. G’luck!

    #1065328

    Wow !! what can I say , thank you LA for all the input and all your advice about moving there. It seems like I would obviosly have to go there and see for my self but this forum gave me such an open minded angle to LA. Thank you everyone!!

    #1065329

    emoticon613
    Member

    I LOVE LA!!!! but so saying, i also moved away from LA myself and don’t intend to go back there (famous last words…) except for brief visits.

    but:

    1 – the community is warm and caring. very very very caring. and it’s also diverse. very very very diverse. so the issue becomes how to love and care and also make sure not to fall in your own standards. and lots of people succeed, but as laguy said, go in with your eyes WIDE WIDE open.

    2 – there are superb mosdos for both boys and girls. i went to byla, and it is the most amazing school on the entire planet (ditto smile99!), with the most caring hanhala, rabbi bursztyn is a tzaddik and my second tatty…really. again, the students are very diverse. there are girls, a lot of them, that go to the best seminaries, and unfortunately, there are girls way on the other end of the spectrum. my sister goes to the ‘chassidishe’ high school, for the reason that that one’s not so diverse. the very frum persians and chassidishers, and some very frum yeshivishe girls also go there. it’s also a very very good school. the elementary schools are also very good, and somehow less diverse, but i guess that makes sense. there are very good ganim there also, private playgroups, etc.

    calabassas is a great yeshiva, teh type does vary from year to year, my brother went there. then there’s ygla, yeshiva gedola LA, which i see very good outcomes from in general. i don’t konw it so well. and there are smaller, less known, but equally good yeshivos peppering the scene.

    it’s also very strong on kiruv.

    3 – takeout food and restaurants = yum yum yum!! plenty of kosher restaurants with good hechsherim, obviously not as many as bkln, but yeah.

    4 – living cost is VERY high. definitely two incomes are almost imperative.

    5 – pritzus. that is the biggest catch in the whole deal. the la brea/fairfax community itself, is a residential area and therefore, doesn’t have the billboards discussed. BUT – A. it’s bisected by a main street, which certainly does have priztudige billboards up. i actually lived on the corner of that street and another, and i had to keep the shades of the window facing thataway, closed for a couple of weeks because of the billboard staring into our house. B. it’s ‘enclosed’ by melrose, la brea, and fairfax, all main streets, melrose being the absolute most pritzusdig of three, but all of them pretty bad. la brea’s not as, and that’s where at least three of the mosdos of LA are. C. as for the goyim walking around, i don’t think i agreee with whoever said they’re not so bad. they’re pretty pritzusdig. LA is in HOLLYWOOD, i don’t know why people expect differently.

    this is one of the main reasons i moved away. i (a girl, yes?) walked through back alleys to get to school to avoid the pritzus. it was a bissel crazy.

    BUT LA IS THE MOST FANTASTIC PLACE TO LIVE IN THE WORLD IF YOU CAN’T LIVE IN ERETZ YISROEL (bad case of chein makom al toshveha…) 😉

    #1065330

    emoticon613 does she go to the elementary or high school of the chassidish school? There’s a HUGE difference!

    #1065331

    emoticon613
    Member

    is there? i hadn’t noticed. but she’s in the high school; she didn’t go to their elementary school.

    #1065332

    ckbshl
    Member

    There are MANY different communities around the city and valley. Why are ppl so generalizing?

    There are many different schools & factions.

    btw- there are numerous other h.s. options as well as post h.s. beis medrash program in the valley (Ner Aryeh)

    #1065333

    Theres a big difference in the elementary and high schools. The elementary is more open-minded.

    #1065334

    “i (a girl, yes?) walked through back alleys to get to school to avoid the pritzus. it was a bissel crazy.”

    no affence but alleys? in la? a girl alone? that IS a bissel crazy. why not walk on the main street and just not look at the billboards?

    “but as laguy said, go in with your eyes WIDE WIDE open.”

    i don’t mean it as a pun, but you really, with your eyes closed (pritzus).

    i’d agree with laguy, emotion613, and mischeifmaker,

    pritzus CAN be a problem. I know a lot of the men walk through the alleys, the bochurim also do because even if it’s not a billboard, the weather is always nice and people practically look for opportunities to dress pritzusdik (goyim obviously) But i’ve been to NY many times, theres pritzus there too! I have to admit it was a real culture shock straight from seminary, in E”Y (where i NEVER walked on the pritzus streets, it hurt me too much) (actually one time , late at night we were a little lost.. . but you get the point.)

    #1065335

    emoticon613
    Member

    sof davar: i tried. i actually ‘flipped out’ in high school, so i did this at a time when i was cutting out a lot of things in my life, and billboards were ‘easy fixes’ for the sort of stuff that i was trying to avoid. so instead of putting myself in a constant nisayon at least twice a day,i just walked through the alleys. i didn’t do it at night for the most part though. that would’ve been a lot more dangerous.

    #1065337

    “sof davar: i tried. i actually ‘flipped out’ in high school, so i did this at a time when i was cutting out a lot of things in my life, and billboards were ‘easy fixes’ for the sort of stuff that i was trying to avoid. so instead of putting myself in a constant nisayon at least twice a day,i just walked through the alleys. i didn’t do it at night for the most part though. that would’ve been a lot more dangerous. “

    emotion, i’m really speaking out of concern, i know of unfortunately 2 stories of MEN walking through alleys during the DAY who were mugged. So just be careful. Wherever you are, in E”Y…America or LA

    #1065338

    LAer
    Member

    “America OR LA????” sof davar, hate to break it to you, but LA IS IN AMERICA! To the OP, see the things you need to put up with when you live in LA? This is a very serious matter. Think twice!

    </sarcasm>

    More on the topic later…

    #1065344

    LAer, oops, i obviously know that, i meant wherever you are, in E”Y anywhere in the US or LA (which is known not to be so safe)

    #1065345

    basicly, la is a gr8 place.

    #1065346

    sm29
    Participant

    We have a few great neighborhoods to pick from whether in the city or valley. There is a litvish kollel and a chassidic one in the city. There are different schools like Toras Emes for elementary, and Bais Yaakov highschool, Mesivta of la in the valley, and Ner Aryeh. Lots of shuls, kosher markets, and great people. My neighborhood has grown so much, it’s starting to look like a miniture ny 🙂

    #1065347

    emoticon613
    Member

    are you sure mesivta of LA is in the valley? i was under the impression that that was the name of the boys’ cheder’s high school in the city?

    #1065348

    fabie
    Member

    I thought Ner Aryeh closed as well.

    #1065349

    emoticon613 I am not so familiar with the valley schools but as far as I know the mesivta is in the city and is the boys high school of the cheder. Mayber there’s another one in the valley. I don’t know too much about the yeshivas so I don’t know what’s with ner aryeh.

    #1065350

    sm29
    Participant

    mesivta of greater los angeles is in Calabasas which is in the valley

    There is also a highschool called Yeshivas Ohev shalom which has affordable tuition

    #1065351

    laguy
    Member

    Ner Aryeh did not close, they effectively broke away form Valley Torah High School, another great choice for kids that don’t exactly fit the Yeshivish mold.

    All the yeshivas, high schools and educational institutions in LA are wonderful. Each seeks to educate a different type of student and creates a wonderful environment for them. A couple fo the schools that were not mentioned are Yavneh, located in Hancock Park in what is an incredible campus lead by an equally impressive administration, and Ohr Eliyahu which just moved in to the Hancock Park area and has an incredible campus of their own. Both of these schools are Nursery through 8th Grade.

    LA is great, where else can you imagine kids going to spend the day at the park in the middle of January?

    #1065352

    fabie
    Member

    Thanks LAGuy for clearing that up. I saw Ner Aryeh mentioned on VTC’s web-site, but when I asked my brother about it he said they closed it down. My brother worked for VTC last year.

    #1065353

    sm29-mesivta of greater los angeles is something else. That’s a yeshiva with a dorm, litvish (mostly)-a whole different story, and yes that’s not in the city. But, there is another high school called the mesivta which is the chassidish h.s. but its very small and so you may not have heard of it.

    #1065354

    emoticon613
    Member

    my father explained it to me:

    mesivta of greater los angeles – calabassas (which is in the valley technically, but if you live in calabassas, you say you live in clabassas, not san fernando valley.)

    los angeles mesivta – the high school of the boys’ cheder. it’s in the city. and chassidish, mostly (i used to pass boys going there on my way to school = mortifying!!!! but i always used to wonder what the goyim must’ve been thinking, seeing a boy and girl coming down the street towards each other, but as soon as they notice each other, the girl starts walking in the street and the boy hugs the walls on the other side of the sidewalk, both of them pointedly looking everywhere else but at each other. it alway made me laugh. that was before i walked in the alleys…)

    #1065355

    Just in case this is still a question.. I happened to accidentally click on a wrong button and found this post and I know LA (better than many who wrote on this posting by their answers). I have lots of family there…

    There are many high schools, both boys and girls. I know the girls’ better than the guys’ (family and friends there mostly have girls in the high school age).

    Girls High Schools:

    1. Bais Yaakov, (BYLA)- Only school called BY there but that is not to say the others are not comparable to East Coast BY schools. It is only a high school but it is one of the best high school for yeshivish girls- great, frum, yeshivish girls who do tons of chesed, run chai lifeline programs ect. # in the grade can range from 60-80, and can have 12+ get accepted to BJJ, 12+ to Hadar every year (quite impressive). Plus others who are that type.

    2. Chasidish (Different than BY): They have a high school and a girls school. These are the Yiddish-speakers…Their school is quite small, tend to not have every grade so some of this type will go to BYLA. Girls have been known to get married straight from high school (or once or twice in recent past from 12th grade).

    3. Bnos Devorah- New school, only about 5 years old. It is supposed to be BY-type but without “Rabbi Bursztyn Pressure”. Not sure how the school is turning out in the past few years but a school this new may still be finding its feet.

    All 3 above are located in “the city”.

    4. VTC (Valley Torah High School, was once Valley Torah Center, hence the initials that ppl still refer to it by). Location is in Valley. Known to be Chofetz Chaim, but it can depend on the year. It tends to get more of the recent Balei Teshuva or those who are not as BY but still frum and can be Yeshivish. Until Bnos Devorah came around, this was the only real alternative to Chasidish/BY or going to M.O. school. Not sure what “type” go there now that BD is open.

    5. YULA (really YOLA, Yeshiva of LA but was once affiliated with YU so the name stuck). They have both a boys and girls schools but different campuses. This is the MO school in LA- students will go off to Penn ect, and they are MO in general (boys and girls might mix, yeshivish kids may not be able to eat at all their classmate’s houses…)

    These are generals, but there are of course some mixes at each school, you might get someone who started 9th grade in one and switched before 10th because saw it wasn’t a right fit for them.

    DONT WALK THE ALLEYS. Nuff said on that.

    About the billboards- those who live there don’t even notice them. they are there, but living there people can clearly label it as “bad” or “treif” and ignore it. unlike in other cities, we can clearly see treif vs. kosher. After being in LA for a bit, I came to NY and was shocked… I didnt like being here with “sneaky billboards” on buses, subways ect. there is pritzus everywhere (ok maybe not on a farm in Kansas), so being in NY doesn’t stop it. go on the buses in boro park and you will still see what you wish you hadn’t.

    Elementary schools- there are a lot more than high schools and the lines between them are grayer… so ask around! Just because Rabonim send their kids to one school, it doesn’t mean that it is the best. It could be that there were no other options at that time, or they were too far away ect. For example, Ohr Eliyahu just moved into the heart of the frum neighborhood and many students did not go there because of the distance of the old building. But it is an amazing school that focuses on middos, caring about others and being ehrlich. Besides for an unsurpassed education (especially lemudai kodesh!) that many schools can’t compete with.

    Oh, something great about LA? There is a spot in the schools for every child! Yes, people are of course turned away, but you don’t want a girl in BY who hangs out with boys. Unlike in Lakewood, you don’t have dozens or more girls without a seat in high school. BY once had 87 girls in a grade at one point- they just built more lockers!

    Good luck with your decision! Daven hard to make sure its right and best for your family! Don’t just rely on any one person because everyone is biased (including yours truly… I tried to write this as unbiased as possible but it probably snuck in). maybe ask someone who is the opposite of your family and see what they say.

    #1065356

    Okay I didn’t realize this thread was on again but I want to clarify a few points. I know the supposedly “chassidish” school VERY well and no, you can’t say the whole school is chassidish or any type but majority is one type and if you aren’t that type it may be difficult to fit in. There are tons of litvaks and sefardim. It is not just small, it is TINY as in 9 girls or something like that in the 9th grade.

    I also want to say that BYLA is not just “Rabbi Bursyn Pressures”-I don’t understand how anyone can say that? If you go to BYLA you are agreeing to follow certain standards that most BYs around the world would have and most BYs are even more yeshivish because LA doesn’t have that many people like NY does to make it so specific. I will say that usually there are different crowds of girls in every grade like the yeshivish, not so yeshivish, etc but there are very fine girls there and girls who are being worked on. Also, the cheder and Toras Emes elementary schools don’t have a high school, they are separate schools but majority of the girls continue on to those schools.

    From what I’ve seen and heard Bnos Devorah was supposed to be in between BYLA and YULA but I think that its more like VTC right now.

    #1065357

    cchocker
    Participant

    What no one here has mentioned- and I don’t know why- is that in LA in general and specifically in the Frum community in LA there is an extreme open-mindedness that is not healthy. Like some people I know like to say- they’re so open-minded their brains fell out. There is very little hadrachah from the Rabbanim and very little hadrachah on a more personal level within the family unit. Everyone needs to be accepting and open-minded to everything they encounter, which leads to confusion, people having all sorts of warped values and a dearth of true Torah hashkafah. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, there is an enfatuation in LA, not just the frum community in LA, with gashmiyus. Specifically that life is all about how geshmak and easy someone has it (the weather is so nice! and therefore it’s the greatest place in the world….?). There is a lack of stress and focus on accomplishing, achieving and doing, like there is in other big Frum areas.

    For someone who is living life to break-away from and disassociate as much as he can with a corporeal and materialistic existence I would think that living in Los Angeles would be a tremendous impediment.

    #1065358

    sm29
    Participant

    My girlfriend would probably agree, but i look at it differently.

    Yes there’s gashmiyus, but that’s only some people. A lot of people i know here have great values. The family i go to for Shalosh Seudos is a very special family Baruch Hashem. You just have to find the right people. Plus, we have very special rabbis, good in Torah and caring B”H

    #1720128

    glock222
    Participant

    The concept that there is a detrimental “Extreme open-mindedness” in Los Angeles’ frum communities is a dated opinion and is just WRONG! I lived in Boro Park and now live in L.A. and people here are just as committed as they are in Boro Park. Lots of serious people in Los Angeles dedicated to Torah lifestyle and learning, important, well-respected rabbaim here.

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