Need to lose weight for shiduchim

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  • #592517

    I am in “the parsha” and need to lose a good 20 pounds REAALY REALLY FAST! Does any body have any good diets they went on that worked for them?

    #982158
    rebdoniel
    Member

    Why do you feel you should lose weight in order to meet your zivug? You should find someone who loves you the way you are. You shouldn’t have to change who you are for anyone else.

    #982159

    Nope but you need to make lifestyle changes (I’m sure that’s no chiddush though)

    Can you ask an objective 3rd party how much you really need to lose, and how much is really just a poor body image?

    #982160
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    We have a diet in my family we call the “Tanta diet”. You just eat what you used to but only drink water. Ever.

    We say that we don’t know if it works, but it worked for tanta.

    #982161

    Get your makeup done by a professional, they can apply makeup to make you look slimmer. And make sure your clothes fit well.

    #982162

    I’m in the same boat as u although I’m not close to shidduchim yet. I tried counting calories and found that it worked if I actually stuck to it lol. You google how many calories to loose weight and it’ll figure it all out for you. Then you just have to measure whatever you eat. Also do exercise and go swimming as often as u can. If you do exercise your body also burns more calories at rest.

    #982163

    Thank you very much “rebdoniel” and “paschabchochma” for your concern but all i wasnt really asking you your opinion if i should loose weight to date or not. all i asked was for good dieting ideas… Please dont think so deeply into this… i have been told by many respected people that i must loose this weight and i just need people to answer back who are going to actually answer my question…

    but once again “thanks” for the advice!

    #982164
    rebdoniel
    Member

    Do what I am doing, even though I am taking off a lot more than 20 pounds. To lose just 20 pounds, you should try to walk about 30 minutes a day, 3 days a week, and limit yourself to 1200 calories a day, which is what OA recommends for women trying to lose weight. There is no big chiddush other than counting calories here. Try to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, yogurt, fish, and try to limit your carbohydrates and fats. Lots of salads, as big as you want, with a light dressing or a little olive oil and lemon or vinegar makes a good meal, and you can go either fleishig (with some chicken or steak) or milchig with this (add a chopped hard boiled egg and some cheese, if you’d like). Soups are also a good idea before meals, as they fill up the stomach with little calories (a parve vegetable soup is good for this). Hot beverages are good, and the key is to eat as nutritious as possible. Try not to splurge too much on Shabbos; you can make this your “cheat” day, but be sure to go for a walk after your seudos. If you follow these guidlines, you’ll be fine.

    #982165
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    Firstly and most importantly you must maintain a conviction not to listen to naysayers who try to convince you not to do your avodas hashem.

    Step two is you just do it.

    There is a guy who used to work in my school who went from really overweight to really not really fast. The story is told that he had a conversation with his wife where she spoke of the hard ships of losing weight so he told her it wasn’t that hard and just to prove it he did it.

    So the answer is don’t do diets, Just lose weight. Just do it. Forget lifestyle changes. Forget rules.

    Eat Healthy (Foods). Eat little. Early in the day. Oh, right and exercise. A lot.

    I think the main thing to keep in mind is to stay away from the people who think dieting should be done in a healthy way. Seriously. A tiny bit of logic aught to help you. People who eat healthy don’t lose weight. If they did people would just disappear into nothingness by eating healthy. But they don’t. Healthy people stay the same weight. If you want to lose weight you have to do something unhealthy.

    #982166
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    methinks:

    Reminds me of the guy I know.

    He told his wife, “Women, they spend their whole life on a diet. Men, they want to lose weight, they lose weight.” Then he lost weight.

    I personally lost 25% of my weight and kept it off.

    #982167
    L613
    Member

    Eat Food. Mostly Plants. Not too much.

    Read Michael Pollan’s “Food Rules” (Those are his rules above).

    And move more.

    #982168
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    “i have been told by many respected people that i must loose this weight and i just need people to answer back who are going to actually answer my question…”

    Why don’t you ask these “respected people” what their opinion is on how you should lose weight rather than anonymous CR people. It is probably a good idea anyway to have a support group of people you know who are giving you advice and helping you follow up on it

    #982169
    apushatayid
    Participant

    If you “must” lose weight, ask these “respected people” if they would tell you the same thing if you were happily married. If you must lose this weight for health reasons, consult a health professional for advise how to lose the weight. If a health professional does not feel you have to lose this weight, perhaps you should reevaluate the respect you have for these people.

    I’m personally on a quest to lose 30 pounds. While self control when it comes to some of my favorite fattening and unhealthy foods is still a work in progress, I have managed very slow progress towards my goal, by maintaining a regimen of 30 minutes a day of excercise. When the weather is nice, it is walking or riding a bike, and when it rains I get on a treadmill. I’ve actually managed to lose 2 pounds (which is pitiful for the amount of time I’ve been trying to lose this weight) despite losing the self control battle. My doctor basicly mapped out a diet suited to me. Unfortunately, it doesn’t include 3 extra large pieces of kugel at a bar mitzvah.

    Your doctor knows you best and is best equipped to put together a plan for you. Anonymous people who don’t know you can only say “eat right, drink lots of water and get plenty of excercise).

    Hatzlacha on the diet and may the ribbono she’ll olam send you your Zivug in the proper time.

    #982170
    minyan gal
    Member

    hashemprincess: Good luck. There is one flaw in your plan – you want to lose the weight quickly. There is ample proof that crash diets do not work – the weight will come off quickly, but you will regain it even more quickly. A slow and steady weight loss can only be accomplished by lifestyle changes and regular exercise. You should not be on a “diet” as this means there will be a beginning and an end to it, instead you must come to terms with a healthier life plan. This does not mean that you can never again eat cheesecake – only that everything must be done in moderation. The first thing you should do is learn about nutrition and its effects on your body. If you wish to begin with an “eating” plan, something like Weight Watchers is probably your best bet as they teach proper eating habits. Good luck.

    #982171
    tzippi
    Member

    Thumbs up to minyan gal. I won’t knock you for wanting to lose weight but, hard as it is to accept, losing it fast won’t do you any good. Hatzlacha!

    #982172
    mw13
    Participant

    Being healthier/losing weight requires lifestyle changes. My two personal favorite tricks are:

    1) Stock up on healthy snacks you enjoy. This goes for raisin/nut mixes, pickles, etc. Then snack guilt-free as often as you want.

    2) Only drink seltzer. It’s basically water, but it’s a lot easier to get used to drinking then water (especially for those of us who are used to soda).

    Good luck!

    #982173
    shindy
    Member

    “How to succeed on any diet”, by Chava Goldman is a very good book that is very informative and fun to read. Good luck!

    #982174
    sms007
    Member

    drink only water, don’t eat after 8, stay away from nosh and fried stuff. oh, and if you can go walking (not even jogging) half an hour a day that’s great too. that’s how i lost weight.

    #982175
    Moq
    Member

    OA is very effective, “came for the vanity, stayed for the sanity” and there are many frum groups. If you do the program, you will lose the weight , keep it off, stick to your diet w/their support & meet a lot of good people.

    #982176
    oomis
    Participant

    I would speak to my doc first, and make sure I am healthy to do this. Now step two. You want to lose weight quickly, and as was pointed out, crash diets are not exactly good for you and don’t last the long-term. HOWEVER, I went on the Atkins diet a number of years ago before a simcha, and despite the criticism it has received, for a crash diet it is excellent. I lost weight quickly and felt very full, because you primarily eat low carb-high fiber vegetables and protein. I lived on salads and tuna or chicken, a little meat, eggs cheese, etc. No fruit until after the first two weeks, and then only low-carb fruits like blueberries, and a little cantaloupe.

    For a short-term solution only, this is great (so is the South Beach Diet, btw, but it is a slower process). Drink water, but not to excess – there is such a thing as water intoxication. I would drink a glass before eating, and a glass after, with a few through the day. The water is necessary anyway, but especially when you cut your carbs. Read the labels on food containers, to see both calorie and carb counts, as well as fat, though some fat is necessary in ALL diets (use olive or canola oil on salads). Get lots of exercise walking – it really helps.

    After you get off those first ten lbs, balance your diet with more veggies and a little fruit and (SOME)nuts like almonds and walnuts which are so healthy for us. You will lose weight more slowly at this point, but it is much healthier in the long term.

    Please be realistic about your need to lose weight. If you are not a size 2 – so what??? But if you are 5’2′ and already a size 10/12, it is possible you could stand to lose 10-15 lbs. People mean well when they say you should look for a boy who is NOT looking for a dress size, but reality is that looks do matter to people, to some extent. Guys generally are conditioned to be attracted to the slimmer girl (or guy). In my opinion, while giving Gemarah shmoozes, the rebbeim should be teaching their bochurim to be less shallow. the Shadchanim should be doing the same, especially with the boys’ mothers.

    Be confident in your personality and charm. The number on the scale is only ONE facet of what makes you YOU. Hatzlacha rabbah.

    #982177
    bpt
    Participant

    Don’t get hung up on a number (20 lbs) unless your doctor said so. Find out your BMI (goolgle it) and aim for that.

    This diet plan has kept me on target:

    * Breakfast should either be a bowl of cereal or oatmeal, plus a banana. Never skip breakfast (unless its shabbos or a taanis)

    * Make milkshakes with yogurt instead of ice cream

    * Soup has no limit, (homemade only)

    * No take out food, no store bought food. Eating salad with dressing you buy at a store can easily top 200 calories. The calories and fat for deep fried chicken is off the charts. Making the same thing at home (and baking the chicken) will give you a fighting chance. And things you bake at home are much less fattening than store bought stuff, plus you can control the serving size (the size of your fist is the size to aim for)

    * Avoid anything that has hydrogenated anything in it

    * No food past 8:00pm

    All in all, the 1st step to weight loss / control is deciding that you want to do it. You have made that 1st step. Congradulations!

    #982178
    YW Band
    Member

    I agree with rebdoniel. I’m also in the same boat as hashemsprincess. I go to a nutritionist, and he told me that by losing the weight and gaining it back (going in cycles) is crazy. It’s a LIFETIME BATTLE! The trick is to start when your young. The ONLY way is to eat a nutritious meal 3 times a day and exercise. It can even be a daily walk but DO it. Don’t be lazy and stick to it. I’m like the world who doesn’t stick to their weight goals, but the emes is there!

    #982179
    Happyness123
    Member

    I don’t really have time to read all the previous posts so I am not sure if anyone mentioned the SADKHIN COMPLEX. Basically, I did this diet, also for shidduchim, and I lost about 30 pounds in a month. I am warning you, though this diet works in helping you lose weight, the weight comes on VERY quickly once you leave the diet. I gained the weight that I lost and then some extra once I stopped. It was VERY disappointing but it motivated me to lose the weight the slow and healthy way… but the diet definitely works and gives you very quick results. It is guaranteed that you will lose 5 – 10 % of your body weight within the first 10 days… I wish you tons of hatzlacha and iyh you will find the right one at the right time. It is a sad fact that the world around us is telling us that we need to look a certain way in order to get married. It is not true. We need to take care of ourselves because that is what Hashem wants, but the RIGHT ONE will think you are beautiful no matter what you weigh or look like, and He is the only one that matters.

    #982180

    Happyness:

    Check your mouse, I think you meant to post your tip under the “lying for shidduchim” thread

    #982181

    -“happyness123” can i ask whatthe SADKHIN COMPLEX diet is?

    #982182

    it works like this:

    you identify your relatives *kin* that have mental *complexes*, and are thereby very *sad*

    you spend as much time with them as possible thus making you lose your appetite.

    thus the name sad kin complex

    #982183
    #982184
    squeak
    Participant

    Mod 80-

    Based on your description of the diet, no wonder the weight comes back so quickly after the diet is stopped! The kinsmen no doubt stop being sad after you find a shidduch, which means they stop making you sad and you regain your appetite. Also, you start spending most of your time with new kin (i.e. the new spouse), who is also presumably very happy.

    #982185
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Also, you start spending most of your time with new kin (i.e. the new spouse), who is also presumably very happy.

    Well, maybe not as happy after the weight is gained back.

    #982186

    squeak and popa

    exactly.

    and the cycle repeats

    that’s why this is a “yo-yo” diet

    #982187

    no connection with the diet consisting of listening to cello music ad-nauseum

    #982188
    bpt
    Participant

    Cello music – I got the joke! (Who else in the CR got it?)

    #982205
    tzippi
    Member

    OK Hashemsprincess.

    But we don’t know if you want to lose the first 20 of say 50 lbs., an extra 20 you’ve been carrying around, if you really don’t need to lose weight but want that attractive/attracting anorexic look, etc.

    Any chiddushim or ideas so far? Do you have a maintenance plan in place?

    And nice name. What do you think the King wants you to do?

    And Happyness123, this Sadhkin diet. Is this something she can find out about easily on google? Any links you want to send her way?

    #982206

    -“TZIPPI” i need to loose 20 pounds and then i will be at my normal weight! I am a good 15-20 pounds overweight! I am not the type that needs to look anorexicly skinny i just got to get rid of those 2o extra pounds!

    And ye i think the king wants me to loose these 20 pounds i have the feeling he is telling me to loose these pounds:)

    #982207
    bpt
    Participant

    Princess –

    Did you eat breakfast today? And what is on the menu for lunch?

    If you are really serious about this 20 lbs, you can have it off (and keep it off!) by Pesach. But start now!

    Like most successful things in life, it takes planning. (and syata d’shmaya of course, but only if you give it your hishtadlus).

    #982208

    -bp totty yes i had breakfast today and lunch is vegetable soup and a big salald with vegetables, tune, and sliced hardboiled aggs inside! (thanks for the ideas everyone)!

    #982210
    Happyness123
    Member

    Hey Princess, you can find out about the Sadkhin Complex at this website: http://www.sadkhin.com/. This is definitely a quick weight loss… but not one that necessarily guarantees maintaining… if you are doing it for health or because the “King” would want you to, then I recommend all of the healthy eating and exercise habits listed by everyone else above.

    #982211
    bpt
    Participant

    Lunch sounded ideal, but did you have a dressing for it? That helps the digestion and gives you the max of nutrients out of the vegetables.

    The cookbook Salad Time has tons of recipies for dressings (like I said, avoid the store bought stuff).

    Aim for dressings that are oil / vinegar based. Those carry the fewest calories and fat per spoonful

    #982212

    -bp totty thank you so much for your advice so far. Is Dressing ok if it is home made but has mayo in it?

    #982213
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Use low fat mayo, and go easy on it.

    But use seichel, if eating salads with lots of dressing prevents you from eating potato chips, it’s worth it.

    (And never, ever, eat potato chips. They are perhaps the most unhealthy thing besides being beaten by your parents.)

    #982214
    bpt
    Participant

    perhaps the most unhealthy thing besides being beaten by your parents.

    Or being tied to a tree and left for the bears! (running joke, previous thread)

    Seriously, the mayo based dressings are ok, but the oil / vinegar ones are better, and you tend not to over-use them (as you most likely will with a creamy mayo based one)

    And how goes the 50% / 25% / 25% guideline? Supper (which tends to be eaten at home) is a real danger spot, so be careful!

    Keep thinking to yourself; by Pesach, I’ll be x weight, by Pesach, I’ll be x weight… all you need to do now is follow thru!

    #982215
    blinky
    Participant

    “Keep thinking to yourself; by Pesach, I’ll be x weight, by Pesach, I’ll be x weight… all you need to do now is follow thru!”- you make it sound so easy…if only…ive been there done that (and still doing it), dieting is hard even though you know in the long run its worth it!

    hashemsprincess- on my diet mayo is fine but limited. 2 tsps of lo fat mayo is considered one fat (i can have 3 fats a day) so there you go- usually one or one and a half fats is sufficient…Good luck!

    #982216
    Tanta
    Member

    “We have a diet in my family we call the “Tanta diet”. You just eat what you used to but only drink water. Ever.

    We say that we don’t know if it works, but it worked for tanta.”

    “Use low fat mayo, and go easy on it.

    But use seichel, if eating salads with lots of dressing prevents you from eating potato chips, it’s worth it.

    (And never, ever, eat potato chips. They are perhaps the most unhealthy thing besides being beaten by your parents.)”

    It should be noted that on the Tanta Diet, both full-fat mayo and potato chips are allowed; potato chips are even encouraged.

    #982217
    bpt
    Participant

    “you make it sound so easy”.

    Believe me, Blinky, I know its tough. I’ve been on a diet for 15 years, and only keep the lbs off because I watch my intake. I could balloon by 40 lbs in a flash at my age.

    Diet and excercise, diet and excercise… but once you have the lifestyle, it becomes 2nd nature.

    #982218
    blinky
    Participant

    “Diet and excercise, diet and excercise…”- yeah tell me about it.

    p.s.”excercise” is spelled “exercise” (don’t worry i spelled it wrong here on this forum a few times, but our professional editors taught me the correct way:)

    #982219

    blinky really should be spelled blinkie

    #982220
    blinky
    Participant

    Why? As far as i know its “pinky” and “stinky”

    #982221

    pinky and stinky are names of commoners

    blinkie is an aristocratic name derived from the ancient anglo-saxon empire and is therefore spelled in the original form

    #982222
    blinky
    Participant

    “blinkie is an aristocratic name”- Wow Im honored! But i still like “blinky” better. (if you really want you can put it as my 2nd title)

    #982223
    minyan gal
    Member

    Personally, I think that “Blinquie” is tres elegant.

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