Older Picky Girls

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee Older Picky Girls

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 55 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #597289

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I met a girl today who is older and picky. I suggested two perfectly good guys for her to date. She outright refused.

    One of them is in a top 10 law school, who keeps cholov yisroel and yoshon and has a rebbe.

    The other is in a top medical school and is a real ben torah.

    I don’t know how all of AZ’s ideas will help if the girls just won’t see reason. She is already 23!!

    How can I help her? AZ?

    #813917

    shlishi
    Member

    What was her stated reason for the rejection?

    #813918

    mewho
    Participant

    23 is old??

    #813920

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    What was her stated reason for the rejection?

    She mumbled something about not wanting to be a heicha timtza for me to make $100.

    #813921

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    she wasn’t picky then, she didn’t think you had her best interest in mind and instead are doing it for the money, whatever you tell her wont change anything

    #813922

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    she wasn’t picky then, she didn’t think you had her best interest in mind

    This shouldn’t be about me. It should be about her getting married.

    Hee hee.

    #813923

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    yes but that’s how she felt

    #813924

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    She mumbled something about not wanting to be a heicha timtza for me to make $100.

    Gut voch.

    #813925

    gregaaron
    Member

    Dunno if this is the situation here or not, but I often get red names of girls that for some reason or another I have no interest in dating, and I don’t always want to tell the shadchan why. That being said, though, her response to you was disgusting.

    #813926

    gregaaron
    Member

    Dunno if this is the situation here or not, but I often get red names of girls that for some reason or another I have no interest in dating, and I don’t always want to tell the shadchan why. That being said, though, her response to you was disgusting.

    #813927

    How old are you and how can we contact you if we think we may have a shidduch to redt you?

    Considerations are a computer programmer, pediatrician, speech therapist, early childhood teacher going for degree in Psychology. All are from intact frum homes and looking for a mentch.

    #813928

    oomis
    Participant

    Get a sense of humor, people. This is a joke…

    (It WAS a joke, Popa, wasn’t it…?)

    #813929

    bezalel
    Participant

    This shouldn’t be about me. It should be about her getting married.

    Hee hee.

    Why should someone that doesn’t trust you accept your advice?

    #813930

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Get a sense of humor, people. This is a joke…

    (It WAS a joke, Popa, wasn’t it…?)

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who got it…

    #813931

    I’ll take a med student for my daughter…. or the lawyer! Just let me know. My daughter would be very interested.

    #813932

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    oomis, why do you think it’s a joke

    #813933

    BaalSechel
    Participant

    In case anyone can’t tell, PBA has a habit of making up false stories to create a false and negative view of people in general. This is just one example.

    #813934

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    It is hard to tell whether he was serious but I think the “mumbled response” kinda gives it away. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually had this conversation with an “older girl” (probably his sister-in-law the nurse) just so he can post this.

    #813935

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    oomis, why do you think it’s a joke

    You don’t want to know why I think it’s a joke?

    #813936

    yetzertov
    Member

    I’m not even a regular coffeeroom reader and it was glaringly obvious that OP is jokingg. 1stly no1 would give a dramatic older single story and then say her age was 23.even among the crazies who doo feel 23 is old they all knoww deep down that 23 is a young spring chicken 2ndly no girl uses the expression haicha timtza. 🙂

    #813937

    hanib
    Participant

    oomis and daas yochid – gotta agree with you.

    but pba – do they open the door for the girl?

    #813938

    I don’t know what a haicha timtza is, but I could tell from the OP that it was joke. Maybe I’ve been reading popa for too long.

    #813939

    The fact that this thread could be real or could be a joke is a joke in and of itself. That our society is so twisted as to consider a 23 year old girl to be old and burned out even enough just for it to be a joke is sad. I am not sure when we switched from being a normal and sane society to one that prevents boys and girls from seeing each other their entire lives and then demands that they are all married by the age of 19. I do not want to come off as snarky or anything far from. I think it is sad that we cry about the shidduch crisis, the “unmarrieds” the ” older girls” and boys of course and then we continue to promulgate this false idea that they have to always be kept separate, like a taaroves shel issur or something.

    #813940

    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    It’s a riddle. Read it again & you’ll see that the most distinguishing features in the males are their careers & not their middos.

    The OP is actually praising this woman, since he is mentioning how she held out despite how appealing these men are.

    #813941

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    you’re right from this comment alone,

    The other is in a top medical school and is a real ben torah.

    it’s not possible to be in medical school and learn for a large part of the day

    #813942

    Health
    Participant

    coffee addict – So IYO, you can only be a Ben Torah if you learn most of the day??!?!

    #813943

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    I knew I was going to get that from a doctor 🙂

    What’s your definition of a Ben Torah?

    I knew someone that really was a Ben Torah and then he went to medical school but he always said that studying took up his whole day

    #813944

    A Heimishe Mom
    Participant

    Koldi – I am with you. That we can even make such jokes is a blot on our society. And to tear the story apart as if it were true – becuase we all know it can be:

    Singles are so often redt shidduchim that have no shaychus whatsoever other than age and gender. And the ubiquitous “he’s a lovely boy, middos, learner, parnassah etc.” are really meaningless.

    And when a girl has had one two many lousy shidduchim from good deed doers, she will feel like folks are in it for the extra money.

    #813945

    apushatayid
    Participant

    PBA. My wife has agreed to let me go out with any girl you set me up with, as long as we split the take 50/50. When do we start?

    #813946

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    promulgate this false idea that they have to always be kept separate

    False? It’s a halacha in Shulchan Aruch!

    #813947

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    You don’t want to know why I think it’s a joke?

    the moderators delayed your post so I didnt see it when I posted mine

    #813948

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    coffee addict,

    That’s not what you were supposed to answer; you were supposed to answer, “sure, why did you think it was a joke”.?

    #813949

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    That’s not what you were supposed to answer; you were supposed to answer, “sure, why did you think it was a joke”.?

    that would imply that i’m interested in knowing 😉

    #813950

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    that would imply that i’m interested in knowing 😉

    OK, go back to insulting me. 😉

    #813951

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    OK, go back to insulting me. 😉

    fine, if you insist

    #813952

    good.jew
    Member

    Who thinks that this story really happened and who thinks Popa made it up cuz he was bored

    #813953

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Firstly, 23 is very old.

    Secondly, part of the story happened; everything except her response.

    Thirdly, the law student began the year irreligious and over this past year became involved with chabad.

    Fourthly, the med student is a really sweet nice frum guy, but the girl is looking for a learning guy, and he really is not.

    Fifthly, Baalsechel, I’m glad I got you posting, it looks like you are an old reader and an infrequent poster; but, I don’t make up stories to make people look bad, I make up stories because it makes me laugh.

    Sixthly, she didn’t say “heicha timtza”; she said the basic idea and I just paraphrased it. Notice I didn’t put her response in quotes.

    #813954

    What does heicha timtza mean?

    #813955

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Fourthly, the med student is a really sweet nice frum guy, but the girl is looking for a learning guy, and he really is not.

    I knew that part wasn’t true :p

    #813956

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Today I suggested a jewish congressmen.

    Guess what? Not good enough for her; he doesn’t have a kosherphone.

    A KOSHERPHONE???????????? NEITHER DO I!!!!!!!!!!

    BLAZES, NEITHER DOES SHE!!!!!

    #813957

    hanib
    Participant

    when i was 23 years old, single, never formerly married, someone set me up with a guy who i refused to go out with. he was supposed to be a great guy. the example of how wonderful this guy was, was that he changes his own baby’s diapers.

    #813958

    hanib
    Participant

    another time, when i was 24, before i was smart enough to do real research of the guys, i went out with this very funny guy. when i told the shadchan no and explained why not. she told me that at the age of 24 i was way too old to be so picky and not to continue dating a self-declared, truly modern-orthodox guy. i forgot all the “kind” words this shadchan told me, but i have since repressed them deep into my psyche or else i just tuned out while she was lecturing me.

    the guy didn’t have a kosher phone either, but that was before kosher phones. 🙂

    #813959

    hanib
    Participant

    point is, pickiness is in the ears of the beholder.

    #813960

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I was looking to see if I had ever made a thread about how hungry I was on fast day, and I found this.

    What a gem.

    One of these days I’ll bump my “are women jewish” thread.

    #813961

    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    popa: The youngest Jewish congressman is in his forties and married. If you suggested him to me I would have punched you. 😛

    #813962

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    popa: The youngest Jewish congressman is in his forties and married. If you suggested him to me I would have punched you. 😛

    At the time, there was another jewish congressman, who was not married. He has since left congress.

    #813964

    yaakov doe
    Participant

    I think PBA was referring to a former congressman from Queens who isn’t halachicly married.

    #813965

    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Ah, the one whose name and reputation go so well together. Yeah, I can’t blame her for not wanting him, even before the scandal.

    #813966

    Tzvi Hirsh
    Member

    Too many people are looking over their shoulder at what their family or friends will say about a shidduch. Instead they should be thinking is this person a good person or are they good for me or will they be a good parent.

    Unfortunitely we live in a society where status and prestige comes before real values.The education system should be teaching what marriage and parenting is really about and how to approach shidduchim.

    #813967

    Nechomah
    Participant

    Yes, Itche, we are very careful not to feed our children excessive amounts of nitrites. High levels have been known to cause people to inadvertently activate their electronic devices leading to an unhealthy addiction to consume very undesirable quantities of substances that have an unknown cumulative effect on the human body.

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 55 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.