Private Mikva for Men

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  • #1789528

    excl
    Participant

    Do private Mikvas exist anymore for men on erev Rosh Hashana and Yom kipper in the Brooklyn area?

    #1789603

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    Not that I know of but there are mikvahs that are not as crowded as others. Known crowded mikvahs Boston, Rabbi Sekula.

    #1789627

    cherrybim
    Participant

    Take a long shower instead.

    #1789635

    excl
    Participant

    I stopped going, would like to go. This is a real question

    #1789679

    meir G
    Participant

    one more point you can ask the rav of a shteeble to open early for you if the privacy is a deal breaker most would happily oblige you

    #1789678

    meir G
    Participant

    many smaller mikvaos in brooklyn that are part of a shtibel open at a certain hr on erev rosh hashana maybe 12pm as an example so just get there a few min early.. secondly rav sharage feivel used to tell the bochurim in torah vodaas that in dinei geirus a bris alone is not enough you need ” tevila” . he said if mikva can make a goy to a yid it definitly has the koach to make a yid A BETTER YID. so go stay focused no one is really looking at you … =gut yom tov

    #1789701

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Per the above comments, if you are willing to pay the extra cost, you could probably arrange for exclusive rights to use a small mikvah during off-hours.

    #1789989

    Toras Moshe
    Participant

    You can use a lake or river.

    #1790015

    max dear
    Participant

    the main Boro park mikva on 46th. and 13av, should be open they always had private mikvas for Erev Shabbos and Yom tuv, there had been a lot of advocacy to build more private mikvas due to problems with tznius i know of a Bal tzedaka that made a condition to donate only if the shtibul will build a mikva with rooms for privacy

    #1790018

    yourfriend
    Participant

    I think that even though the widespread custom is a non private mikvah, more should be done for those who were not raised this way, or do not feel comfortable with this

    #1790053

    funnybone
    Participant

    Gosh, are you guys for real! By gentiles, they all play sports and go to locker room to take shower, same for swimming… why are you so sensitive!?

    #1790060

    “By gentiles “the females do also,so..?

    #1790071

    TGIShabbos
    Participant

    With the unfortunate year we have been having, I’d suggest NOT using a lake, river, or ocean

    #1790061

    Long island Yid
    Participant

    On the Lower East Side of Manhattan there is only one mikvah . It is primarily a Womens Mikvah so the rooms are of course private. It is however also available daily morning’s, erev shabbos & yomtov for men too. I know, cause I’ve used it. So that’s an option.
    I don’t know the phone # off hand but you can certainly Google it. I know I’ve seen the info online. Much Hatzlacha!

    #1790121

    adocs
    Participant

    It is time for truth-

    ““By gentiles “the females do also,so..?”

    And your point is..?

    #1790148

    michael2
    Participant

    “cherrybim” – A shower does not render a person “Tahor”. IF there is no choice one should at least take a shower so to have 9 kavin, but it is not a mikve. Also there are 2 reasons for mikve erev YOM KIPPPUR, one is for tahara and one is for tshuva. You are not yotzai teshuva with a shower.

    #1790149

    TheMir
    Participant

    Many Mikvaos are Makpid not to allow men to use it, as it may put some women off using it thereafter – certainly defeating the purpose

    #1790153

    yourfriend
    Participant

    funnybone
    just like people think and feel different about things, this issue is no exception. We are not discussing a few freeks who are just crazy or a tiny tiny percent of people [ even that would be an interesting discussion ] rather large segments of our society just don’t feel good using public dressing rooms or showers or mikvahs. If you can’t relate, that’s fine, just know what I am saying is a fact.

    #1790159

    laughing
    Participant

    health hazard

    #1790176

    funnybone
    Participant

    YF: if someone has a tattoo and doesn’t want anyone to see it, then I get it. Otherwise, I don’t. You are a male human being like anyone else around and you go to the mikvah. Big deal!

    #1790211

    peacho
    Participant

    @funnybone you’re not funny and you’re being rude. I’m glad that you feel so comfortable going to mikva with others around, but not everyone is. In a culture where we respect modesty it’s understandable that even men might feel uncomfortable. It’s no use comparing us to gentiles because we have a completely different lifestyle. It’s not about being ok with your body it’s about comfort and feeling of safety. #respecteachothersdifferences #stopcomparing

    #1790215

    flatbusher
    Participant

    There is a small mikvah on E. 10th off of I in basement of shul that is often pretty empty, depending when you go. I used to go to “private mikvah” on E.15 and J but got tired of the long waits and the price for the privilege of privacy. I don’t even know if it is still an option.

    #1790224

    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    Look up SA O’CH 88 the Taz about 9 kavin for Erev Rosh Hashanah and Erev Yom Kippur.

    #1790222

    Joseph
    Participant

    flatbisher: are you referring to Rabbi Beck’s shul?

    #1790293

    funnybone
    Participant

    Peacho, I’m not trying to be funny or rude. There is nothing immodest about going to the mikvah. Nor is there something unsafe. You go to the mikvah and that’s it. Don’t focus so much on yourself and just do what you need to do. And don’t feel that it’s some weird Jewish thing, it’s perfectly acceptable all over the world.

    #1790294

    rational
    Participant

    Call yourself The Exceleh Rebbe, and tell the mikve people that “The Exceleh Rebbe is coming and would like the mikve cleared out for him for 10 minutes”

    #1790314

    yourfriend
    Participant

    funnybone
    I urge you to read my above post again. Just because a male may look like another, does not mean he is comfortable in mikvah surroundings. It may be a cultural or emotional thing, and here is not the place to deal with it. Just please be aware that a large segment does not view the issue like yourself.

    #1790317

    funnybone
    Participant

    YF: unsure which culture you are referring to.
    Also unsure if people need to discuss their emotional issues in a public CR.
    Unsure how large a segment is suffering with this issue, have you done any research?

    #1790321

    yytz
    Participant

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting a more modest alternative.

    In fact, I’ve heard some rebbeim say it’s not proper to use a urinal (where other people can see you); instead, one should use the stall.

    Of course, tznius applies to men too.

    #1790334

    yikkumpurkan
    Participant

    like 10 or 11 am they are usually not so crowded

    #1790329

    funnybone
    Participant

    Yytz: some rabbeim? Could you be more specific? Sounds ridiculous to me, every yeshiva and many shuls that I’ve been to have urinals.

    #1790433

    yytz
    Participant

    Rav Moshe suggests not using urinals ( Yoreh Deah 3 siman 47,5) but I’m not sure if he was discussing when they didn’t have little walls between them. I think I’ve heard this from elsewhere too…not sure where.

    #1790437

    Joseph
    Participant

    yytz: In Yerushalayim by the Beis Hamikdash thousands of Yidden shared the mikva at the same time. Are you accusing Chazal of permitting a lack of tznius?

    #1790483

    yourfriend
    Participant

    ‘FB
    The “culture” point is that today things are different to older times, where bathing naked was normal.
    And what is wrong with raising emotional issues here?
    I am basing my comment myself being a public figure, and being asked several times questions tht revolve around this issue.
    Just for your info, I am a mikva goer. But I am heard enough to make my above statement

    #1790516

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Funnybone- i don’t think he’s trying to upend the system or complain about the way it’s been set up, he’s just commenting that there are people who are not comfortable with it. I have heard that many times and judging by the increase in people willing to paying extra to use private mikvahs there must be a demand of some kind.
    As far as modesty, i don’t think is always about that. Even if you are comfortable changing in a locker room, that isn’t the same as finding your rebbe among you or your menahel. And aren’t there halachos about seeing your father without clothing?

    There is also a cleanliness issue, not all of us are used to sharing or recycling bath water like they did a century ago.

    Regarding safety…I’ll leave that one alone.

    #1790507

    USnebech
    Participant

    The entire world was subjected to a “מקוה” (mabul) granting a new start. Stay focused on the huge benefits & shortly you will be wondering whatever bothered you.

    #1790538

    roshvrishon
    Participant

    The problem I am seeing here is that some people have been raised in a goyishe culture. We have a shulchan aruch and that is our culture. It does trouble me that fathers and sons go together to the mikva. Not allowed when the child is older than nine. However in today’s “culture” boys must be supervised because there are perverted people out there. So a father can stand there and stay dressed while the sons are immersing. They can then wait for him outside. Little boys can be with their fathers.

    #1790505

    yytz
    Participant

    Joseph: Actually, the halacha is that one should urinate around other men rather than hold it in and harm one’s health. So it is not forbidden. But still, apparently Rav Moshe thought it was an issue and we should avoid it if possible by using the stall. The same logic should apply to mikvah. Some people are naturally more reticent to expose themselves to others; why not accommodate them so they can also use a mikvah? Bashfulness is after all a fundamental Jewish trait.

    #1790577

    cherrybim
    Participant

    michael2, are you saying there is no tshuva without Mikvah?
    A number of Poskim rely on sources to justify that a shower counts as mikvah for certain men who want to use it .

    #1790604

    bp27
    Participant

    I find it interesting that so many people are looking for private mikvahs (i.e. women’s mikvah) for the men, when at the same time on Erev Yom Kippur many mens’ mikvahs in places like Boro Park open up to the women (in the morning) to accommodate the crowd.

    #1790637

    funnybone
    Participant

    Rosh: ask your rabbi; poskim say that our mikvah does not have an issue of Bais hamerchatz and you may go with your father. R. Michel Steinmetz (heard on a CD) and R. Moshe Fogel, heard from a friend.

    #1790639

    funnybone
    Participant

    Yytz: I looked up R. Moshes teshuva and you are correct. I will discuss it w my Rabbi, as my shul has urinals.

    #1790814

    funnybone
    Participant

    Yytz: R. Moshe is discussing place where you can be seen. Urinals which are private are okay.

    #1790819

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    FB: Another reason for installing “unisex” bathrooms with only stalls? On a serious note, it would be a big cost to convert existing facilities, even if there is arguably a tzinius issue for a small percentage of the tzibur. Its perhaps feasible for a small shtiebal but think about the additional space required for a shull with several hundred daveners.

    #1790846

    roshvrishon
    Participant

    Funnybone. I don’t see the difference between a merchatz and a mikvah. the problem is the personal exposure can lead to bad thoughts. The Rema says that in his time the custom was to wash and the privates were covered so its OK. otherwise not. But I’d be happy to hear a hetter, since so many people go with their kids.

    #1790878

    According to

    men can never claim marriage Acquisition were
    under false premises if his new spouse has a bodily defect anywhere on her body If he had female relatives in the same locality
    that this is due to that his female relatives were supposed and
    the onus was upon them to notice prior to the marriage in the merchatz

    #1790981

    adocs
    Participant

    It is time for truth-

    “the onus was upon them to notice prior to the marriage in the merchatz”

    Interesting place to make a wedding. Is it cheaper than standard wedding halls?

    #1791119

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Time for Truth: Not sure if you are serious but for most young women, even from more traditional families, if her Choson’s family invited her to a shvitzbath to “check her out”, she should invite them ALL to go toivel in Lake Erie in mid-January.
    ADocs: Definitely a lower cost option than most Simcha halls in BP and Willy plus in some cases, would save the choson a separate trip to Mikvah. Yichud in the sauna followed by a cold dip outside by the fire hydrant. Where do you guys come up with these brilliant ideas??

    #1791192

    gadolh,

    showing your utter ignorance, again
    it is an explicit gemara

    Kesubos I believe

    #1791205

    Abba_S
    Participant

    If you want privacy, go 5 in the morning. There is a mikvah in the basement in a shtebul on E. 13 between M & N that is open and hardly anyone uses it at that time. Just bring your own soap and towel. Comes 1 O’clock Erev Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur the place is packed.
    Another solution is make your own mikveh. Up until a hundred years ago communal bathing was common, now everyone has at least one bathroom per apartment. Converting a bathtub to a mikvah is possible but would require a larger tub.

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