PURIM TORAH!!!!

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  • #1062270

    Jothar
    Member

    Moish, I spent man years in yeshiva and many years single. Learning plus sense of humor plus too much time on hands from being single = plenty of Purim Torah. The well is far from dry.

    #1062271

    Jothar
    Member

    Posek Hador, my definition of off-color is “remiza ledavar acher”, not “nit shein”. I am mekaneh your feinkeit though.

    #1062272

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    8 hours without Purim Torah? I guess I’ll have to post something:

    Moshe Rabbeinu was born on the 7th of Adar, so his bris must have beene on the 14th, which is Purim. Was the bris performed before the the Megillah or after? Moshe was a great tzaddik and he died on the same day he was born. Since Moshe passed away on Shabbos, he was also born on Shabbos. His bris took place eight days later on Shabbos. Since it was Shabbos, the Megillah reading must have taken place on Thursday the 12th of Adar.

    #1062274

    42, nice to see you here at this hour

    #1062275

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    wow & 39 too!!! wow!!!!!!!!!!

    #1062276

    Jothar
    Member

    We know that ??? ????? ?????? ??? ????. So the big question is, we see in most yeshivas that when it comes to appointing Roshei Yeshiva and maggidei shiur, ?????? ??? ????? ????? ??? ??? ????. And even if you say that ?? ????? ?????, it’s only a ????, and then we have to say ????? ????? ???? ????

    So I was thinking that one teretz is if you ask the better person to leave, it becomes a ???? ????? ???. The other teretz I have is that mishpacha is a ????? ????? ???.

    #1062278

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Jothar: The Rosh Hayeshiva has a Chezkas Mammon, due to Heicha DeKayma Teykum, and Ein Holchin Bemammon Achar HaRov!

    #1062279

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Also a reason why people go against Beis Din and/or don’t ask their Rov:

    Ein Holchin Bemammon Achar Ha Rov.

    #1062280

    Anonymous

    Jothar and gavra_at_work – keep em coming. I’m ROTFL!

    #1062282

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    The Gemorah in Nazir Daf Lammed Gimmel Amud Beis asks whether a Nazir is allowed to drink wine on Purim. It brings a Rayah that it’s Muttar from the Gemorah in Nedarim Daf Tes Amud Beis that a Nazir is allowed to be Shose Yayin to be prevented from doing a Lo Saase, Kol SheKen an Aasse due to the concept of Esse Doche Lo Seese.

    Rashi in Nazir there asks on this from the Gemorah of Raba & Rav Zeira, that Raba should have been Muttar to kill Rav Zeira due to the same svorah?

    Rashi answers Poshut. Since the whole neis was to save us from the decree of Haman, that was only legabei the Harigah of the Yidden. As such, the mitzva created to celebrate the Nes can’t be doche the Issur which is what the Nes prevented. Ma Sh’ein Kein by Nazir, where the Issur is not for Harigah, there we say the Aase is Doche the Lo Saase.

    (just some Purim Torah in the Brisker Spirit, ask your LOR for Halacha Lemaase)

    #1062283

    TJ
    Member

    Mod 42: According to Rabbi Meir (Sotah 3a), Moshe Rabbeinu was born mahul, so there’s no question according to that opinion.

    #1062284

    if u r supposed to take mod 42 serious—i think moshe rabbeinu was born b4 the story of purim-so no meggila

    #1062285

    Jothar
    Member

    It says, ????? ????. The question is, why use the word “yekar” instead of “kavod”? Furthermore, why are there 3 extra “yud”s in the 8th perek of the megilla? Finally, where does the minhag of drinking liquor come from? It clearly says “wine”!

    The answer is that the megilla is trying to hint to us something. The 3 “yud”s add up to form a ?, and it’s meant to be appended to the strange word. So it really says ???? ????? ????? ?????, that while Achashveirosh had to stick to wine, the Jews had liquor. ?? ???? ???!

    #1062286

    moish01
    Member

    aha! asdfghjkl, jothar just found you a source for liquor!

    he’s gonna be thrilled…

    #1062287

    TJ
    Member

    “if u r supposed to take mod 42 serious—i think moshe rabbeinu was born b4 the story of purim-so no meggila”

    Of course I don’t take it seriously. Still, it’s nice to take Purim torah as far as is can go on a faulty premise. 🙂

    #1062288

    moish01
    Member

    coke, you only THINK that? you don’t happen to know for a fact, do you?

    #1062289

    TJ,

    the faultiest premise is that how in the world would a true lamdan know a gemara in Sotah????? Its not one of the typical yeshiva mesechtas.

    #1062290

    TJ
    Member

    Charlie brown: A baki without lomdus is not a baki, and a lamdan without bekiyus is not a lamdan. Notwithstanding, there is a tremendous amount of lomdus in Sotah.

    #1062291

    Jothar
    Member

    Charlie Brown, I assume the gemara in Sotah was quoted in a Reb Chaim somewhere 🙂

    #1062292

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    TJ: even those that are born mahul need some sort of bris!!!(many family members of mine fall in this catagory!!)

    coke not pepsi: u ”think” or ”know” moshe rabbanu was born before purim???

    Jothar: thanx for the liquor source!!! now i real happy!!!

    moish: yes i am thrilled!!! jumpin up & down!!!

    #1062293

    TJ,

    I was completely kidding.

    Jothar,

    I liked your answer!

    #1062294

    TJ
    Member

    “even those that are born mahul need some sort of bris!!!(many family members of mine fall in this catagory!!)”

    True, but whether the hatafas dam bris for a nolad mahul is docheh Shabbos is a whole sugya in and of itself.

    #1062295

    TJ
    Member

    “TJ, I was completely kidding.”

    I figured you were being facetious, but I couldn’t help myself.

    #1062296

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    charlie brown: wow i’m never on at the same time as you anymore!!! i just got the bottles from my celler in da basement!!!

    #1062297

    yup, nice to “see” you asdfghjkl, but I gotta go now.

    #1062298

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    TJ: yes i’m fully aware of:

    whether the hatafas dam bris for a nolad mahul is docheh Shabbos is a whole sugya in and of itself. >em>

    #1062299

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    charlie brown: have a great shobbos!!!

    #1062300

    ok so im very gullible!!! i was thinking besides 4 that part(ok main part) it didnt sound to much like purim torah

    #1062301

    posek hador
    Member

    A bunch of Litfisheh bachurim were going collecting by a rich chossid. After bringing a rayah from the migellah that mordechai was a litvak the chossid offered the bochur a few hundred dollars if he could bring a rayah that modcheh /mordichai is a chossid. the bochur answered. How did hamans daughter dump the garbage on hamman if she was above. the teretz is she saw hamans shtreimel. because haman and mordechai were both chasidim. but she thought it was vadai mordechai since haman was at the head. but she must of had a hava amina eleh mai they both wore a streimel.

    some add haman and mordechai were both brothers whose father died. that is why they were fighting and why he did not ow down and assured from going to the tish.

    #1062304

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Why don’t we Klap on Achashvairosh raising taxes?

    #1062305

    myshadow
    Member

    posek hador, lol that’s pretty funny! What’s the raya that he’s a litvak?

    #1062306

    anon for this
    Participant

    GAW, maybe that’s why Mordechai wasn’t liked by all of the Jews; perhaps they blamed him for the taxes.

    #1062307

    Jothar
    Member

    We know Acashveirosh was a chossid, because it says “mehodu ve’ad kush”- First he said Hodu, and then he kissed his tzitzis for Baruch she’amar (“kush” means “kiss” in Yiddish). So mordechai, being the opposite of Achashveirosh, would be a litvak. Plus, he was learning the sugya of kemitza, which is Kodshim. That means Mordechai was a Brisker.

    #1062308

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Every time I start reading this thread something urgent comes up and I never get anywhere. I got to read a few vertlach here and there and I’m really loving this topic!

    Keep em comin… eventually I hope to get a chance to contribute

    #1062309

    Chacham
    Participant

    Why does it take reb bentzion of bobv forever to lain mogellah?

    they clap by mordechai [ modcheh duvid]

    why does it take forever for satmar to lain the migeelah?

    they clap by Medinah

    #1062310

    squeak
    Participant

    Now that we’re “hondling” Briskers, what consitutes simchas Purim for Briskers?

    Ans: The portions of the Megilla that are read with the “Eicha” niggun.

    #1062311

    Jothar
    Member

    I saw this once from a great acharon or early Rosh Yeshiva, I forgot who it was. There is a machlokes by Avraham Avinu what “Beirach bakol” means. One shita says he had a daughter named Bakol. Another shita says he did not have a daughter. The Rov said the proof that he didn’t have a daughter is that it says “Zaken Ba Bayamim”, meaning he was old due to age. If he had a daughter, he would have aged early trying to marry her off!

    #1062312

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    now we’re getting into ‘pulitic’… tread carefully

    #1062313

    Jothar
    Member

    The “bakol” vort from the Ksav Sofer ZT”L.

    Squeak, in a similar vort, the Yerushalmis used to ask why we lain parts of the megillah in eicha trop. They answer that some people are only happy when they’re miserable, and on Purim we want to be mishtateif everyone in the simcha.

    #1062315

    ever hear about the brisker who was looking for a true oni to fulfill the mitzvah of matanos l’evyonim? He finally found someone who literally didn’t have a penny to his name. He lived in a cardboard box and hadn’t eaten in days. Somehow nobody knew about him and therefore nobody had been helping him. The brisker was so excited to give him Matanos L’evyonim and fulfill the mitzva in the best way. And he didn’t tell anyone else about him because if they were to give him money then he’d need to search for a new oni next year.

    #1062318

    JayMatt19
    Participant

    ?? ????? ????, ?? ??? ??? ??????: ?? ????? ??? ????, ??? ?? ????

    Ester did not divulge her nation, nor her birthplace. For Mordechai told her not to revel this information.

    This was the MAIN miracle of Purim. A WOMAN WAS ABLE TO KEEP A SECRET!!!

    (I wonder whether this gets posted in the Purim Torah forum, or in the CR Beis Medrash)

    #1062319

    believer
    Participant

    could someone pleeeeeeezeee post a good dvar torah on anything in perek hay in the megilla for purim???? you’ll seriously get a huge mitzva and your saving my life!!!!!!pleeeeeeeezzzzzzeeeeeee

    #1062320

    SJSinNYC
    Member

    JayMatt, thats hysterical 😀

    This thread has me rolling!

    #1062321

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    JayMatt19: ha that one was great!!!!

    #1062322

    JayMatt19
    Participant

    >>could someone pleeeeeeezeee post a good dvar torah on anything in perek hay in the megilla for purim???? you’ll seriously get a huge mitzva and your saving my life!!!!!!pleeeeeeeezzzzzzeeeeeee <<

    Check out the d’var torah thread later in the day. I’ll see what I can do for you

    #1062323

    JayMatt19
    Participant
    #1062324

    Someone came to our home on Purim and said this one. If a woman is ready to light shabbos candles but she only has one candle, is she Motzei by lighting in front of a mirror so that the reflection of the first candle is like 2 candles?

    Answer: No, if she is front of a mirror, then there are 2 ladies, so she needs 4 candles – 2 for each!

    #1062325

    chofetzchaim
    Member

    Mussar HaSePurim

    14 Adar, 5769 Vol. 4 #1 Goldilox and the 3 Bears

    “WHEN SHE WOKE UP, SHE REALIZED THAT SHE WAS SURROUNDED BY BEARS… SHE RACED

    PAST THE STARTLED BEARS TO FREEDOM…”(THREE BEARS P. 32, PICTURE ON PAGE 33)

    GOLDILOCKS – the very name conjures up images of the totally immoral ba’alas ta’avah. She was wandering aimlessly when she suddenly found an empty house in the middle of a forest. Her yaitzer harah got to her, and she broke into the house, totally ignoring the unbearable odor pervading the bears’ den. Suddenly overwhelmed by an animalistic desire to fill her stomach, she not only stole food from a little child, she even managed to eat a bowl of porridge! After demonstrating such disgusting behavior, and after her theft, she was mazik their furniture. She certainly was in no condition to overcome her desire to sleep after breakfast. While usually this is quite understandable, the fact that bears tend to veck bit more ferociously than the Yeshiva Vecker should have awakened her sense of preservation. But no – her lust for a place to sleep overrode her good sense. It was only fitting that the bears come home while she was napping. The bears would see her, paskin that she was a rodaif, make a brief but gory scene, and enjoy their surprise Purim Seudah. We would then be able to learn important morals about how ba’alei ta’avah don’t even enjoy Olam Hazeh, unless you consider being mauled by three bears enjoyable.

    Something went terribly wrong. The bears obviously weren’t chasing her, because no human can outrun a bear. It must have been that the bears, upon spotting her, were so startled by this surprising turn of events that they weren’t sure what course of action to take. They couldn’t post in the Coffee room asking what to do, because the mods weren’t online at the time. So they had to try and think it out for themselves. by the time they reached a tentative maskanah, Goldilocks was long gone.

    This is mystifying. This story seems to be flying in the face of everything we were taught. The bears did the right thing. They carefully weighed their actions, checked to make sure there wasn’t even a dakei dakus of ta’avah in their decision to have her for dinner with a side of potatoes, and proceeded to try and act on their decision, only to realize that they were too late. Could it be that the vaunted minhag of hocking over everything in the Coffee Room is wrong? Could it even be that, kehavah yachol, the mods were wrong in their decision not to be online at the time? After all, if they were, the bears could have just posted and got a psak. Now, their lack of someone to tell them what to do rendered them useless to accomplish their designated task!

    The answer is a resounding no. Of course the Coffee Room is the only place to get a psak. Of course the mods were right in not being online. The mistake lay with the bears. They should have thought out beforehand, “what if we suddenly find a stranger in our house?” They then could have started a thread to find out what they should do lu yitzoor the situation ever arose. The bears’ mistake was human, but it was costly – they assumed it would never happen. So when the time came, they were paralyzed by inaction.

    We see from here that we should think of any and all real-life situations that may occur, and immediately start a thread in the coffee Room about them. It doesn’t make a difference if the question is mildly stupid (“What if I find a strange child who ate up my porridge?”), rather absurd (“What if I find an elephant hiding behind my dresser?”), or even totally ludicrous (“Should I daven with a hat biyechidus or without one with a minyan and does Moish count for a minyan?”). While others might feel you’re wasting the Editor and moderators’ time, hey…you never know.

    Copyright 2009 by Me. Most of this was stolen from a 2003 Purim Torah which I edited to fit the Coffee Room

    #1062326

    Jothar
    Member

    From where do we learn we need a theme on Purim? From Haman, who asked for three things (crown, robe, horse) to create a theme of malchus. This also indicates that, like the dinim of chazakah, it requires 3 items for a theme. The problem is, Achashveirosh only gave him 2 items. Does that mean achashveirosh didn’t require a theme?

    It could be that Achashveirosh felt that to go without a theme is pikuach nefesh, and by pikuach nefesh 2 is a chazakah…

    #1062328

    moish01
    Member

    this is getting dangerously close to “morah torah.”

    you know like those stupid things the morahs used to tell us and when we went home our fathers said “who exactly told you that??”

    i can remember one: you know why vashti was called vashti? because she used to say “vash the vindows, vash the floors.” …as if vashti spoke english…

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