Teachers and Loshon Hara
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- This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 3 months ago by mischiefmaker.
November 30, 2010 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #593271cofeefanMember
what is the halacha of loshon hara with teachers? i work in a school and lately i have been hearing rebbes talk about their students in a very negative way. im wondering what (if any) right do they have to just talk about the kids amongst eachother (meaning not to the principals etc)November 30, 2010 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #714326YW Moderator-80Member
It depends on whether there is a constructive purpose to their conversation and all the other factors relevant to toeles.
they certainly shouldnt be talking about their boys in front of you
and you shouldnt be listening.
the fact that it is with each other does not not make it Loshon Ha Rah unless they are not careful with the conditions of toelesDecember 1, 2010 12:34 am at 12:34 am #714329cofeefanMember
its the type of conversation that is in no way that i could see as toeles. firstly bec most of the time it is between a rebbi that never had this boy or a rebbi from a few years ago…
and also it’s just saying how he makes trouble bec of this and this and that he doesnt try etc. and the rebbi doesn’t ask for advice or help he just talks about it. (i’m not talking about a specific person just in general)
and as far as i shouldn’t listen… they talk right in front of my desk (i am the secretary) and not wispering either… of course i dont listen to peoples conversations (i actually take pride in the way i am able to not listen into other’s conversations…)
it really bothers me how a rebbi could take so negatively about a boy no matter how “bad” he may be…. and i am not in a position to say anything because i am a single girl, but it really bothers me!!December 1, 2010 12:56 am at 12:56 am #714330amichaiParticipant
the shmiras haloshon organazation in eretz yisroel give out monthly magazines with stories and ques. on shmiras haloshon , etc. maybe you can get something like that, whatever they have by you, and leave it on the tables in the teachers room. they will pick up the message like that.December 1, 2010 12:58 am at 12:58 am #714331popa_bar_abbaParticipant
It should bother you.
At the same time, the rebbi may need to just talk out his aggravation. (Maybe suggest he go to therapy.)December 1, 2010 1:05 am at 1:05 am #714332aries2756Participant
So I am going to try again because I responded twice already and it was posted. According to what cofeefan said, it has no other purpose but speaking loshon horah and venting. This does the child no good at all and will only harm the child because the other teacher number one might repeat it to someone else and number two, will not form his or her own opinion on that child when the child gets into that teacher’s class. This is how a kid develops a reputation. If a mechanech needs to vent out of frustration s/he can do so without naming names!December 1, 2010 1:20 am at 1:20 am #714333kapustaParticipant
Its no different than discussing the list of possibilities of why someone wasn’t accepted to a certain school, or why a potential shidduch didn’t work out. I’ve also heard these discussions and aside from it being pure lashon hara they only have negative effects. I was once in a smaller school (where teachers know all the students, even if they never taught them) where a teacher (not this childs teacher) said, “oh, so and so? shes so weird”. I know of another child who ended up with a bad reputation just from shmoozing his teachers did.
If anyone is in a position to institute some sort of shmiras halashon program in the teachers lounge in their school, it can help even one child, and yes, thats a big deal.December 3, 2010 3:16 am at 3:16 am #714334mischiefmakerMember
OMG! Right on target woaaaa do I wanna yell at all those teachers who think that because they are “staff” they can say and do whatever they want. They talk about students left and right and make everything that’s not quite litoeles into it and spit out abnoxious comments about whoever they feel like…k I’m just venting lol. No, but really they all have big mouths. k not all but most.
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