Teens Not Feeling Yiddishkeit

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  • #595769

    I feel that when i was in school, we never learned how to be close to Hashem. the whole focus was acedemic or ‘finishing the curriculum.’ when brought up questions on emuna or varius other not so often talked about topics, they either avoided the question or claimed if we dont have emuna pshuta, we r on a lower level. i think that they are missing the whole point of school;to teach and help kids connect to hashem and grow. Does anybody else feel this? I dont think most people actually feel and understand what the beauty of yiddishkeit is

    #776432

    Does anybody else feel this?

    Nope. I certainly don’t feel this. My funniest questions were always answered, when asked sincerely. Sometimes in class, and sometimes in private, but always answered.

    #776433
    candy613
    Member

    i think it all depends on which school one goes to. There are those schools that dont answer every question, and it may feel to students that they are just brushing them off. Other schools i know of answer every single question! and if it is something that is too long to talk about in class or that is a topic better to be talked about 1 on 1, its done that way. But i believe that people who go to these schools have a better understanding. I would hope that someone who went to a school that couldn’t give them what they needed, would attend a yeshiva or seminary that was more suitable for them in that area.

    >O<613

    #776434

    Yeah i know what you mean. i once asked a question to a teacher that was far from philosophical; not at all deep. she looked at me and told me in nice words that i make absolutly no sence. i really didnt mind because i knew that my father could answer that for me but im really turned off by that teacher. oh well….

    #776435
    eclipse
    Member

    Teens see right through insincerity.

    #776436
    s2021
    Member

    ahem

    Teens are lazy

    #776437

    Some schools are really like you describe. B”H I am in a school where everyone asks questions and its normal. All teens have questions and their goal is to help us connect with Hashem. If your school is not giving the support you need for your yiddishkeit, you need to find another source of support. Many kids go otd when they feel emuna is pushed aside. Talk to a rav or someone who can help you! And yes, I must say you’re missing out! Schools lately have been acting like entertainment businesses. Many, many schools aren’t what they should be.

    #776438

    I had lots of questions, but I only discussed them with certain people whom I trusted, and they took me seriously. I gained tremendously through it.

    #776439
    eclipse
    Member

    s2021..that too!(not all,some)

    #776440
    anon1m0us
    Participant

    Huyde LaHashem: I agree. A lot of teachers are not qualified to answer the non standard questions. The problem is they themselves lack an understanding of “emunah”. The christian has this belief of “faith” where one can not question. The term “emunah” does not mean that. Emunah is questioning everything to build a stronger relationship with g-d. The proof is hashem said “Unochi hashem”. There is a mitzvah to believe in g-d. If there is a mitzvah to believe in g-d, where does emunah fit in? Not matter what we see or believe, we need to believe in g-d because it is a mitzvah. Emunah comes in and tells us question things and believe it is all g-d. The point of emunah is to strengthen our resolve in g-d and the only way to do that is through questioning.

    I know people will argue against this, but this is what I learned in a shuir and I think it makes perfect sense if people stop and think how it fits in with the mitzvah of Unochi Hashem.

    #776441
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I think the problem is “Adults not feeling yiddishkeit”, and it therefore is never even passed to the kids.

    And, I’m highly unimpressed with the issues of answering questions in emuna. I think the bigger problem is the connection to Hashem is never being passed on by the parents in the first place- because the parents don’t have one.

    #776442

    i think popa has found the crux of the problem.

    but still i think it is good for someone who has a fair degree of Emunah to discuss it, both cognitively and emotionally, including his own possible questions and how he deals with them, with someone who wants to find that which he knows deep down is the Emes.

    #776443
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Agree.

    #776444

    “I agree. A lot of teachers are not qualified to answer the non standard questions. The problem is they themselves lack an understanding of ’emunah’.”

    #776445
    anon1m0us
    Participant

    My Way: When did I ever say teacher’s don’t believe in hashem? Please re-read what I wrote.

    I don’t need to have the answers, but only possible solutions. Unless you feel your way is the only way?

    #776446
    dancinggirl
    Member

    i think u all misundersrood the question. schools answers questions, but they will insist u dont even have a question and make u feel stupid. i also think the parents are the ones who need to feel it, but u know what? these kids are going to b parewnts in like 3 yrs with no understanding at all…viciouse cycle

    #776447
    aries2756
    Participant

    Teachers who don’t know an answer should simply say “that’s a good question but I simply don’t know the answer” or “I don’t have an answer for that but I can do some research and get back to you”.

    Such a teacher makes a child feel respected and worthwhile and not put off for having a question. Not everyone has an answer or can think of an answer on the spot. Not every child need an instant answer on the spot. But if they work together they will have a happier outcome.

    #776448
    m in Israel
    Member

    It most certainly depends on what school you went to. When I was in high school our teachers were always willing to answer hashkafa and yahadus questions, although sometimes the answer was “let’s discuss this after class” (which they did). My principal was also known as always being willing to meet with students to discuss any questions they had, whether philosophical or personal.

    Not that they always let us take the lazy way out. . . I remember teachers responding to questions by recommending specific books and then saying bring it up again after you’ve read the book, or better yet give an oral summary to the class for extra credit. . . I remember when certain difficult questions or topics came up, teachers would give extra credit to students who would research the topic and write it up. . .

    Overall my memory of high school was actually one of tremendous seeking and thinking, and I remember my friends discussing all sorts of issues relating to emunah and bitachon, bechira, etc., as well as discussions about the hashkafos behind tznius (a big one for high school girls!). I also remember discussing many of these topics with our teachers both in class and in extra curricular settings such as shabbatonim.

    I did grow up out of town, so perhaps that explains why my experience was so different from that of the OP.

    #776449
    gorgeous101
    Member

    i think the teachers are at fault.

    oncei asked a question (maybe a bit controvercial but nothing to bad) and my teacher told me that if i had the audacity to ask such a thing i will most deffinately go 2 gehenom! and i should be ashamed of myself!

    #776450
    GumBall
    Member

    what i feel in skool is tht they never tell us how 2 do teshuva for something wrong we did..they say if you do something wrong ull need 2 do teshuva……but how??

    #776451
    s2021
    Member

    wajya ask?

    (kidding!)

    #776452

    watch how its something not even controversial


    #776453
    gorgeous101
    Member

    ya gumball i no wat u meen it rly bothers me-hey wen i run the world im gona make a perfect skewl and ur inbited

    s2021: i asked her if it was okay to not believe in blind faith and to take a more concrete spin on life. i can understand that she might have been uncomfortable with it and wanted 2 tend 2 it after class but 2 blow up like that? i think it was completly out of line! no?

    #776454
    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    wajya ask?

    (NOT kidding!) I really want to know.

    #776455
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    No teacher should blow up & I hope that experience was a one-off.

    But teachers are only human. She might be trying to track you down to apologize.

    The teacher could have simply told you that your topic is so lofty, that even Rambam thought of it & developed the yud gimmel ikrim.

    She could have then offered to learn it with you or give you a sefer on it.

    There’s more to say on the subject, but if she was flustered at the question, this is at least a simple vignette.

    #776456
    gorgeous101
    Member

    i already wrote it see the post rght bef ur’s

    #776457
    s2021
    Member

    Yeah that is a good question and brave of u to ask. Good 4 u. However maybe it was bad timing or came off as chutzpa or she felt threatened by it- her lesson would be ruined, or she didnt know the answer. Not that its ok for anyone to say such harsh things to you. Hope u get good answer that satisfies u! Also maybe you should respectfully discuss it with her so u dont have resentment for the rest of ur life. Maybe ull even get an apology.

    #776458
    gorgeous101
    Member

    oh and i might want 2 add that i have NEVER 4gotten what she said. its been quite a few yrs and it stiill haunts me- and unfortunately i cant make myself 4give her (though im trying)

    #776459

    g101-um…do i know you!?!?!? cuz i’m almost 100% sure that someone once told me that story…

    #776460
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    It’s very bad when people who are supposed to represent yiddishkeit to their students can’t answer questions about emunah. Basically the student views the rebbi/teacher as the one who is supposed to tell them about God and how to become closer to him. Then they find out that the teacher doesn’t even know what God is let alone actually have a kesher.

    #776461
    gorgeous101
    Member

    LSS: idk, maybe but how would i? do u live in NYC? or do u go 2 chaviva?

    #776462
    aries2756
    Participant

    Gorgeous, not every teacher is cut out to teach. You caught her off guard and her ego got in the way of her sechel. Instead of telling you that you had a very interesting question and one that couldn’t be answered in 2 minutes but one that needed a really deep discussion, maybe even one that she herself couldn’t handle, she literally slapped your face for voicing such a deep and thought provoking question. A true teacher should never be afraid to say that she does not know the answer and should never be afraid to be caught off guard. She could have said, “Wow, you really caught me off guard. I am not sure how to answer that. Let me think about that and get back to you”.

    How would you have felt if she would have answered you as I mentioned?

    #776463
    hanib
    Participant

    gorgeous – i don’t see any excuse for ANY teacher to respond like that!

    it must be hard to let that go. find other people who you can trust to ask your questions.

    and, by the way, that is a great, good-thinking question.

    the sad thing is when adults respond way your teacher did, people tend to think that there are no answers. truth is there are great answers, just not everyone is equipped and knowledgable enough to answer them.

    good luck, gorgeous. All Jews have a chelek in Olam Haba -look at Pirkei Avos.

    #776464
    commonsense
    Participant

    gumball, teshuva is actually what you have learned all the years yomin noraim time. The steps of charata, azivas hachet etc.. that is the actual way to do teshuva, but you really need to mean it.

    #776465
    hanib
    Participant

    hoyde lahashem – i agree with you, even though my school did try to answer questions – i don’t think many of them knew how at that time. it seems to me that more schools are learning how to address theses issues; though, it also seems that now there are so many, many more issues besides the basic philosophical questions.

    saddest thing is for those kids who leave highschool thinking they know what yiddeshkeit it, but in reality they have no clue.

    #776466
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    All Jews have a chelek in Olam Haba -look at Pirkei Avos.

    NOT all Jews have a chelek in Olam Habah — look at the Mishna in Sanhedrin, which is the original source for the quote from Pirkei Avos.

    The Wolf

    #776467

    All Jews are given a chailek, but they can lose it.

    #776468

    wolf and mod80-thats really good chizuk for g101…;)

    #776469

    I am one of those people that thinks everyone is capable of being a good person. We are all capable of recognizing Hashem and loving Him, but it takes some girls longer than others. You never know the challenges which can be occurring in someone’s life. Its scary. So don’t judge.

    I used to feel so far away from Hashem. But B”H I was able to grow and connect to Him. It’s so hard to just recognize somethig, because schools make you feel dumb if you have a sight question. It pushes some of us away.

    That is why it is SO important to have supportive and understanding friends. So that you can help eachother and learn together and ultimately achieve what you were sent here for.

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