Things Kids Said/Did

Home Forums Humor & Entertainment Things Kids Said/Did

  • This topic has 330 replies, 136 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by bmyer.
Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 331 total)
  • Author
  • #591137

    How about if we start a thread with cute or funny things a kids said or did? Anyone?


    oooh I like this topic. So many things happen I just cant think of any right now..

    tomim tihye

    My Russian-accented babysitter informed my 4-year old that her mother just turned 88. My kid said, “She’s gonna die soon; please can I have more soup?”

    I overheard this from the other room, and I wanted to stay there.



    last time it was 3 duplicate posts at the same time

    this time it was 7!

    please do not submit multiple posts

    thank you


    There was one adorable anecdote posted in the nachas magazine last month:

    A child went to see his newborn sibling in the hospital’s nursery and when seeing so many babies in their cradles he asked innocently:

    Are these babies already born or are they gonna be born still?

    anon for this

    tomim tihye, your post reminded me of when my then-6-year-old son told me that he had a substitute because his rebbe was absent. I asked him if he knew whether his rebbe would be back the next day, & he said, “I don’t know, maybe he’s dead.” When I asked him why he’d think that, he told me that when the students asked the rebbe how old he was, the rebbe said he was 105. Knowing that this is very old, and not realizing that the rebbe (who’s probably in his 50’s or 60’s) was joking, my son figured it would happen sometime soon.


    I wanted to bribe a little neighbor into something I offered her a glow in the dark sticker. I explained to her that if you go inot a very dark room, or if it is very dark the stickre will light up. She asked me “if I close my eyes, is that dark enough to see it?”


    A young girl was arguing with her teacher about whether the story of Yonah was real, the teacher insisted it was not real.

    The girl said that when she gets to Heaven she will personally ask Yonah.

    The teacher said: And what if Yonah goes down to the other place?

    The girl said: Then you can ask him.

    checkmate 27

    this happened to me : when i was a child i went with nursery after finishing parshas noach to the zoo when i came back i said to my teacher we saw all the animals but we did not see noach

    anon for this

    Poster, that was just beautiful.


    For awhile when my daughter was around 4, I kept a log of some of the things she said.

    “I need some salad to help me relax.”

    “I can’t get it. It makes my brains all sweaty.”

    (5 mins later) “Look! My brains aren’t all sweaty anymore!”

    In the car on the way to preschool she said, “Mommy, my Madeline doll is broken.” I said, it is? “Yeah, it needs batteries.” Honey, your Madeline doll doesn’t need batteries.

    “Then how am I going to get it to walk and talk?” I laughed and said, she doesn’t really do those things – you have to use your imagination and pretend.

    “Mommy, can I pretend she has batteries?”

    “I’m not ready to be a grownup. I’m not ready to be an adult. It’s not fair. Mommy’s too short.”

    “Mom, do you like rubber chickens?”

    “I’m not a kitty – I’m just a human.”

    I have had these saved for posterity (and the YW Coffee Room) for years…


    My brother was asked to make a sentence with the word “coal”.

    His brainstorm went as follows:

    My father learns in coal….


    The children were all drawing pictures of whatever they wanted.

    The teacher was walking around and talking to the children about their pictures.

    She asked one boy what he was drawing.

    He said: This is a picture of G-d.

    She said: Honey, no one knows what G-d looks like.

    He said: They will in a minute.


    My grandchildren know my rules “no whining, no kvetching and no crying” for Bobby. My daughter was over with her 4 year old daughter and she got upset and started to cry. I said “what is this, are you crying?” She stuck her arm through her mother’s arm and faced me chin up and said quite matter-of-factly “I’m not crying for you I’m crying for my Mommy!” And then marched off into the other room leaving my daughter with her mouth hanging open.


    love this thread!

    My sister walked past a store that sells headstones for graves (matzevahs) and stopped short in total shock- “They bury people INSIDE the store?!?!?!?”


    I was once driving my three year old neice and she was getting kvetchy and bored so I said let count to twenty- and i started “one mississippi, two mississippi…” so she goes, “three missis.. Sippy cup, four missis sippy cup, five missis sippy cup”!!!!

    was really funny!!!

    tomim tihye

    My kids were fighting over a book, so I took it and said, “It’s my book.” My four-year old laughed and said, “Mommy doesn’t have regular books, only cook-a-books (cookbooks)!”

    (As if I like to cook.)


    One day was my sister was cradling her infant, her 5 year old son told her- Ma, open your mouth as wide as you can, I want to see how the baby was able to come out of it.


    My son (at the time 10) would “guess” at what words say, instead of reading them.

    One Sunday upstate, we were bike riding on the backroads, and in an attempt to get in some practice reading, I asked him to read the sign at the intersection, so I could find it on the map and figure out which way to turn.

    He tells me, “we’re at Copper Cove” (the sign said Coopers Corner). So I said, no, try again and this time read it. (so he pieces it out and says Coopers Corner).

    A while later, we needed to cross the 17B. In order to stress that we are dealing with a “real highway”, I asked him to read the speed sign (it said 55 mph).

    He says, 60 mph. Up to this point, numbers had never been an issue. So I ask him, now numbers are a problem too?

    He says, “I see it says 55, but everyone knows that you can go 60 in a 55 zone!”

    (gee, I wonder who he heard that from!)


    My son came home from school today all upset that his cookie from his snack fell on the floor. I asked him if he ate it to which he replied that he left it on the floor.

    I told him that next time he must pick it up and put it in a garbage bin.

    He replied: “but then it would be baal tashchus!!”


    One night my friend put her daughter to bed (she was about 3 at the time) and an hour later her daughter was back downstairs in the living room. My friend asked her what she was doing out of bed and she replied, “I sleeped already.”


    I was walking in the streets of Yerushalayim with 4 of my children. A man walked all the way up to me and spit into my sheitel saying somtheing like “??? ?????”. I was shocked and did not want to make a scene with four children so I just walked away. I called my husband on my cell and told him what happened. My son wanted to know what he said. I told him that he wanted to know why I did not spit back into his face. My 7-year-old looked at me and said but that would be nekamah. And I looked at him and said your right!. Sometimes we need a childs perspective. (by the way I live here 9 1/2 years this is not a common occurence so don’t worry.)

    Please don’t post the same item more than once.


    Just this past shabbos, my 2 1/2 year old daughter pointed to my red-tinged roses and said “Oh! The flowers are wearing makeup!”

    Also, if she asks me to do something and I oblige she says “Good girl,mommy…”


    My children won a trip to Orlando from a Chinese Auction. They left today, and I asked my three year old grandson if he would please pack me up in his suitcase and take me, too. He laughed (way too MUCH, in my opinion. harrrumph!)and said, “Bubby, you’re very BIG. You don’t fit in a tiny suitcase!” So much for my plans for Disney World…


    my 2 yr. old nephew always comes up with the funniest comments, my brother was once changing his nappy and he said to my nephew – wow that was a big nappy, to which my nephew replies, yes daddy i had a big breakfast 🙂 🙂


    not funny but embarrasing my 3 year old said to us after someone held the door open for us” thats a nice goy, its good he didnt try to kill us”.

    It was right after he learned about the mitzriyim and if the person heard they didnt flinch.


    ARC- that reminds me of when I told my son that tatty will be home later because he’s learning now. He replied with a worried face- but antiyoches(however you spell it..) Doesn’t let…

    Go explain it to them.


    ARC, that is a priceless one!

    NY Mom

    I love this thread!

    arc, your son made me LOL!


    I was in Paris when my son was 3, he was very impressed with the eiffel tower and with the arc of triumph, so much that when he got back to school he wouldn’t build a regular tower out of legos it had to be an eiffel tower!

    I was so embarrassed when the teacher told me. …


    When my brother was 3 (he’s now 15) went over to an African American worker in our house and politely said “excuse me, did you know that youre black?”

    The man responded by laughing, fortunately


    My sister was telling my two nieces (aged 2 1/2 and 1 1/2) about this week’s Parsha.

    She told them about Yetzias Mitzrayim and how all of the Yidden went out of mitzrayim even the little kinderlach and babies…then she started marching around the table singing the yiddish song “azoi zenen de yidden arois fun mitzrayim…” My sis did not think the 1 1/2 year old understood much of what she was talking about. When, all of a sudden she sees her little one taking a doll and putting it in a small knapsack…:)


    We had been in Hershey Park surrounded by all the chocolates for 2 days.

    So driving back we stopped in a toll booth and an African American man was in the booth, my little sister who was about 3 or 4 shouted “look a chocolate man!!”


    Mybat, you just brought home a forgotten memory from my own childhood, when my little brother said virtually the same thing. He saw someone walking with their (black) baby in the carriage and he called out loudly, “See Mommy, there’s a chocolate baby!” I think he was about four years old.


    reminds me of my 3 year old cousin who used to call them “dirty men” and wanted to know why they didn’t take a shower


    my brother used to write on walls alot. we finally got him to stop and to only write on paper. one day he saw my father using one of those tide stain remover pens on his shirt. he looked at my father and said ” Tatty, only on paper!”


    my nine year old brother sees the application to heller with the name of mogen av and anouther boys camp. he asks-why would you wanna be on camp grounds with anouther two camps? so i say-they’re boys camps, we need SOMEONE for kiddush and havdala. they eat the meal on one side of the dining room and we eat on the other. and whenever we need a boy to do kiddush ect, we use them instead of bothering married staff. so he goes, wont there be a lot of fluttering????!!!!!


    A teacher in a lakewood school was teaching her class about the Shevatim. When it came to Yissachar and Zevulan she told the class the Zevulan supports Yissachar so that he can learn. One kid raised her hand saying “doesn’t the wife support her husband?”


    I was babysitting my neice when my sister called.

    My sis spoke to my neice over speaker phone. After talking to her mom for a few minutes, i noticed my neice examining the phone – then she scrunched up her face and said “mommy, are you in the phone?!?”


    That reminds me of a story my former boss told me. His teenaged son played piano. Quite well in fact. Anyway, the radio was on and they were playing a Sonata that his son plays. His 3-year-old stood in front of the radio saying, “I’m here Dovi. I hear you playing.”


    Blei Ayin Hara were a big family and when everyone comes in the door from school with tons to say it gets a bit hectic. So we’re always telling the kids we want to hear everyones stories but one at a time cause we cant all talk at the same time. When my daughter was leaving to seminary overseas we all went to the airport with her. My 4 year old daughter was crying and of course i was crying and my 4 year old said to me very seriously Ima you cant cry now because i was crying first and we all cant cry at the same time!!


    Best Ima – how smart is THAT!!!!!!!

    tomim tihye

    The first time my four year old met a girl whose name is Ruchama, he called her “Ru-Nechama.”

    tomim tihye

    My eight year old was supposed to be brushing her teeth and heading to bed. When she finally emerged from the bathroom, she informed me that she had been shining the faucet and mirror. I said, “Thanks, you just won a good night’s sleep,” and moved her toward her bedroom. Turning toward my bedroom, she said, “No, I won a night at the inn!”

    em es

    I told my 3 yo daughter that I loved her so much I wanted to eat her up.

    With tears in her eyes she looks at me and says “dont eat me! I’m not a cookie!”

    Another time i told her to stop screaminga dn to be quiet. She looked at me and said “no ‘be quiet you’ me!!


    We were once traveling to Toronto, and that day there was tornado and streets were flooded and tonz! of traffic. We asked the car next to us, and he told us there was a tornado and my then three year old sister asked what does a tomato have to do with anything?


    i heard of a 2 12 year old whose mother told him “you’re so cute i want to eat you”!!! the kid screamed, you cant eat me i’m too young to die!!!


    Having recently trained my son, he is very conscious about it. He was all frantic one day after playing in high snow and he realized his pants became all wet.

    He tells me all upset- the snow made wet in my pants…


    At the seder this year after kiddush, my 1-year-old nephew pointed at the covered matzah and said “challah”. I guess he was skipping right to ma nishtana…

    tomim tihye

    A teacher told her students to write a sentence in Hebrew.

    One student wrote: “Ani bumped my etzba, v’zeh harag osi.”

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 331 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.