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There are soo many angry people out there , is it only in today’s world or was it always this way? Is it because its a instant society and when things don’t work out people get angry?
Who’s angry?
The Wolf
Who’s angry?
The Wolf
What is The Wolf angry about?
There is an anger management thread in the CR that may help.
Who’s angry?
The Wolf
What is The Wolf angry about?
Heh. LOL.
The Wolf
Its more then the fact that its an instant society. Its a very “me” generation… You know the joke that all the candy/food these days are either me, Li (like bisli) or I. So when things aren’t the way that the big I want them to be… people get angry. When people don’t agree with MY opinion, people get angry. When everything is not approved by ME, people get angry. Get MY (jk:)) point?
I believe that’s the first time I’ve seen you use the LOL acronym. I’m glad to have calmed you down. 🙂
I’m only angry when I can’t access the CR!
BP Totty:
This might help you (once you regain access):
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/anger-management-group-therapy
I get angry when people talk to me in a derogatory fashion.
Kaas is not a new phenomenon. The topic is often mentioned in the Torah.
Let me know when you want to drop the “aka: clearheaded”
If you drop the AKA, readers of old posts addressed to clearheaded will be confused who is talking to who.
Where can a poster change their display name?
ya how do i get a subtitle?!?
Thanks moderator. I think after using it so much although it annoyed me, I kind of got attached to it. Sort of like a love/hate relationship. Anyway, I think you can drop it now.
Thanks for the consideration.
nice im lovin the left coast
If you drop the AKA, readers of old posts addressed to clearheaded will be confused who is talking to who.
Moderator maybe you can add an humorous subtitle with clearheaded in it? I don’t mind if it pokes fun at me.
Where can a poster change their display name?
myfreind, go to http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/wp-login.php
Fabulous. Couldn’t be better.
Many people were harmed, slighted, or abused. Some throughout their life, some in school, and some after they were married. Instead of the frum velt standing up in the defense of these truly heartbroken individuals, society stands up for the people who harm and abuse the innocent.
This makes people V-E-R-Y angry.
Angry people NEVER forget what was done to them. They often sit and wait for their opportunity and are then very capable of causing untold tzaros for those who put them through their troubles.
philosopher, Thanks! How’d you find that link?
myfrien, I played around a bit to try to change my posting name and hit on this site.
They often sit and wait for their opportunity and are then very capable of causing untold tzaros for those who put them through their troubles.
I’m sure you were making a joke here.
i want to be the last one to have “member” as a subtitle
artchill-
Interesting you mention this.
I was recently having having a discussion with a neighbor regarding the veracity of graphology.
While I never studied graphology (or had any interest) in it, we had a teacher in high school who claimed he was an expert graphologist. We brought him handwriting samples from guys in other grades (who he had no interaction with) and his diagnostics were very accurate.
One person he said “had the potential to be a serial murderer”. Some of the characteristics (amongst many) were:
1. Stuck on an incident in the past,
2. Never revealed the incident to anyone (letting the anger build up) and
3. Constantly, but silently, under stress.
The list continues but I don’t want to get off the main topic.
The scary thing was- this guy was popular and outgoing, had lots of friends, was good in sports and got good grades. He was every parents’ dream son.
In short:
People are angry because they have expectations of themselves that they arent meeting. Many people feel like they are living a life devoid of meaning and feel lost and that they arent getting anywhere and that causes a lot of frustration. Sometimes this can be in the subconscious and the person just feels so miserable inside.
Dr. Pepper – I don’t think that is scary at all. What is scary is that some guy who never met him feels capable of diagnosing a good law abiding citizen as a future serial killer.
im da bomb
Laugh all you want, BUT anger consumes a person. The greater the effect what was done to him/her the longer the feelings will burn inside them. The most outwardly cheerful person could one day do something to another person that is SO, SO, SO out of character that people can’t believe what they just saw/heard. With a little background information, it all comes clear that the person was harboring so much pain and anger inside against the other person.
Anger management is good to an certain extent. BUT, anger management doesn’t remove the feelings all it does is mask them. If you harmed someone, it’s best to try to make it up to them while you still have a chance. Hurt people don’t forget what was done to them nor the one who did it.
Kaas is a terible thing. We should all try to be patient when we can.
Kasha-
“diagnosing a good law abiding citizen as a future serial killer”
He didn’t diagnose him- read my post again, he said he had the “potential” to become a serial killer.
Would you diagnose a 6’8″ yeshiva bochur as a future basketball player? Or would you say he has the potential of being a basketball player based on his height.
Most probably this guy turned out to be a very fine husband, father and law abiding citizen. However, from his handwriting the teacher was able to see that he was-
1. Very smart,
2. Very respectful to others,
3. Very meticulous at planning ahead,
4. Very careful at covering his tracks,
5. Stuck in the past on something (possibly abuse),
6. Very secretive about something and
7. Full of stress that had to be relieved somehow-
many of the character traits of a serial killer.
The sifrei Mussar say that the root cause of Kaas is Gaivah so if we worked on Gaivah and our over inflated egos, we wouldn’t have Kaas.
Most people seem to be civil. 🙂
Kaas leads to Avodah Zara, but like all Midos, it has its good points (sometimes you need to vent at something), as per the Gemorah Shabbos 105B.
EDITED
Like almost any other Middah, anger has it’s place when it’s properly used. However, I can’t recall a single time in my lifetime and personal experience when anger by me was justified.*
The Wolf
* That’s not to say I’ve never become angry — just that in my personal life I’ve yet to find a time when my anger was truly justified.
I think this a great Moshol:
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a
bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to
hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven
37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He
discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those
nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the
boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold
his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able
to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He
said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the
fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in
anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife
in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
What do you do with your Anger?
Be Happy:
Great Moshol. Thanks. The only thing missing in the Moshol is that anger is bad for the person who is angry. It hurts him too not just the one that the anger is taken out on.
Wolfishmusings-I learned that every middah has to be used to a certain degree besides for anger. Anger should never ever be used.
but times you r supposed to ACT angry even though your not
mischiefmaker- isnt it a rambam or something?
shimmel:
Working with the ANGRY at-risk population is very trying and demanding. The most influential mentors are those who walked a mile in the shoes of the at-risk teen. They are able to understand a question asked from cynicism vs. from pain. Most people would simply walk away, but onl;y one who has gone through it understands the questions coming from pain.
As a mentor in Chicago explained it very succinctly, “An at-risk professional is a mechanech, one who is well versed in psychology, and who has gone through the pain, all wrapped in one person. Would you go to a grief counselor who never experienced loss? Only someone who has gone through the pain the teen is going through can give true hadracha”
Not everyone who has experienced the pain and anger the at-risk teens experience is cut out to VOLUNTEER his/her time. Those who do volunteer deserve all the bracha in the world. Hashem should repay them for their efforts and their wives dedication for allowing late night shifts.
I loved Be happy’s moshol. Excellent.
“ON a different note i also realized that people who claim to be openminded and accepting are everything BUT that when it comes to people that are frummer or keeping more chumros than them. Just an interesting observation! “
That is probably because some of the people who are keeping those chumros, generally tend to think of themselves as frummer (read: religiously better) than the person whom you think is not so openminded. No one likes to be looked down upon. And if you are honest with yourself, you will admit that this is how it sometimes is in the more charedi circles.
I’m not judging anyone cuz I would probably the worst with my temper but I know I’ve learned that it should NEVER be used-i don’t know the source though. It could be a rambam-goody613.
mischiefmaker:
Anger is anger and temper is temper. They are not the same thing.
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