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The problem is that there are too FEW posts regarding the shidduch crisis. We have set up a system where a terrifying number of Bnos Yisrael are nearing 40 v’ein potzeh peh umitzaftzeif, except a few yechidim, such as Libbi.
What percentage of Neilah Drashos in our shuls and yeshivos addressed this crisis? I’d say it’s close to zero. Why is that?
Why are people setting up tehillim groups to help their daughters get married but at the same time they are delaying their own sons (or sending their sons to yeshivos that encourage or force delay) from getting married?
How can you daven to Hashem, “Please Hashem help my daughter get married,” while preventing other girls from getting married?
I repeat my challenge: What other chiyuvei d’oraisa are we willing to disregard because we lack maturity?
I you call any shadchanim in the Litvish and Lubavitcher communities they will tell you that there is a shortage if boys, but in the chassidish world, there is no shortage of boys. The reason for this is obvious to anyone who is open to evidence.
I have spoken to two Roshei Yeshiva but they hung up on me. They are invited to write a Teshuva showing why they are entitled to disagree with Chazal as well as all the Poskim.
You claim that the majority of boys aren’t ready at 21. What other halachos in Shulchan Aruch are you willing to give up because the person isn’t ready? In fact, this – getting married before 20 – is the last halacha to be giving up. We are talking about a daily chiyuv d’oraisa (see, Nidchei Yisrael, ch. 25), which carries a chiyuv misa when ignored (see Medrashi Koheles Parasach 3), that is punished by possibly losing the right to get up for techias hameisim. The fact that Gedolim got married later is irrelevant both because they may had tried to get married younger, or because they fit into the Rambam’s hetter of delaying marriage which requires a) that you be a masmid (see, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch), b) that you will be “TAMID” bogged down with earning money to get “FOOD” for your family if you’d get married young (Chochmas Adam), and c) you don’t have hirhurie isha.
You then claim that some Roshei Yeshiva don’t agree with this.If they are Orthodox Roshei Yeshiva, they surely agree with the Shulchan Aruch, unless they never heard of that particular halacha, which is possible since they aren’t poskim. But even if they were Poskim, the halacha says that any Posek who has a personal bias shouldn’t be relied on (Rema Y.D. 242:36). Rav Yudel Shapira, Rosh Kollel Chazon Ish (when Rav Chaim Kanievsky had to write on a hard siman, he’d let Rav Yudel read it to make sure that there are no mistakes), said that Roshei Yeshiva who tell boys to delay are subject to negius (Daas Yehuda, p. 242).
Are you claiming that there is no shidduch crisis? Call shadchaim and ask them if they have a much harder time getting a yes from a boy than from a girl and then respond.