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June 16, 2008 2:00 am at 2:00 am in reply to: Out Of The Mailbag: (Flatbush Kiddush: Tznius & Drinking Out Of Control) #1142450JudySLMember
yiddishemishpacha: Hashem will judge me. YOU keep your eyes to yourself and judge me B’sayva Panim Yafot! That is YOUR chiyuv. I’ll take care of mine.June 15, 2008 10:43 am at 10:43 am in reply to: Out Of The Mailbag: (Flatbush Kiddush: Tznius & Drinking Out Of Control) #1142401JudySLMember
Wow – what a post to wake up to after a peaceful and beautiful Shabbos.
I have to say, this disgusting and judgemental attitude is what drove ME as a teenage girl off the derech for many years. B”H, in mid-life I’m back and now I’m frum “l’shmah” — not because a teacher tells me how many buttons need to be buttoned or that the slit in my skirt is “inappropriate” and “beckoning.”
If you can’t stand girls dressing inappropriately at your shul kiddush (and frankly, I wonder how inappropriate a Brooklyn girl can really be in shul of all places–a sleeve that touches the elbow on a shmaltzy day???), the solution is simple – avoid the kiddush and be holy. Your actions will surely influence the Klal. OR move to those places where you will be most comfortable. I lost a lot of weight and scrupulously avoid the kiddush food where Tayva tempts me to try the kugel. I’m sure if your Tayva is so strong that these teenage girls tempt you, you should avoid these places as well. For your health.
Tznius seminars don’t work and nasty attitudes just cause sinas chinam. Be religious from the INSIDE out and people will respect you and want to please you. Tell others what they should be doing and people will resent you. It’s ALL over Pirkei Avos. Read it and learn.