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The question to go to a Rav or not to go to a Rav needs to be looked at from another angle. You do not go to a Rav for counseling most of the time. While some are very good at it others are not. You go for 2 reasons. 1 is to get a recommendation for a good counselor. Finding the right therapist is a must because you need someone who will understand your hashafa and background and not do too much damage. Too many non frum or non Jewish therapists see this as a not issue and will not take it seriously.
My friend and her husband are still together. Most people who go through this do not make it. What healing will require is total honesty. No, the wife should not become the mashgiach and check up on him. What she has to do is make a culture of safety for him to come to her when he slips. And he does need to go to therapy to deal with these issues. Many times there are underlying issues like compulsive lying and a need to make yourself feel more powerful. It can work and they can have a happy marriage again. But only if the husband is totally honest and willing to work at it
tzaddiq: The Strupkover Rebbe is a grandson of the Satmar Rav (pre WW2). He lives in Israel but travels all over the world. Strupkov has always had close times to Satmar and Sanz
I also heard from the Strupkover Rebbe that a zechus for sons is to:
1. Make Kiddush on red wine 2. Light 2 candles after havdalah (peru uh revu) and 3. Eat warm bread and a warm drink for melavah malka.
Rav Moshe Turgeman also told me that we should work on being mekabel ol malchus shamaim and accept with love what Hashem gives us. From there is the source of all bracha.
My uncle is the executive director of a frum day school. He one time got a check in the mail for $3,600 from someone who had never given before. He called them up to thank them and asked them why such the big amount. They replied that they had tried for many years to have children (both of them doctors actually) and could not but maybe giving that money to a jewish day school would be a merit for them. Very soon after that couple had twins. (double chai) Of course my uncle joked to them maybe they should have given 5,400 and had triplets. So they did give the $5400 and soon after also had triplets!