yoheved

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  • in reply to: Mental disorder misdiagnosis affecting friends, shidduchim and status. #976966
    yoheved
    Participant

    to ‘foxoutsidethebox’ … exactly ….. people with Asperger’s are only mildly disabled, and can overcome many of the social issues they face with support and mostly with acceptance and chesed shown to them by those most important to them …. family, classmates, teachers, clergy, etc … it is horrific that ‘social literacy’ has become so important in the Jewish community, and that shyness or social awkwardness, Asperger’s or not’, is now on par with ‘mental illness’ …. my son, now 26, has had what we now know is Asperger’s for his whole life, but the yeshiva termed it a learning disability. his social issues weren’t fully realized until I came across information on Asperger’s just a few years ago. even without the ‘medical’ diagnosis as a child, we now know this is what he has …. he will probably always feel socially awkward and handicapped, but knowing that it is just another challenge that he was given has relieved both him and my entire family. his siblings have become particularly sensitive to him after feeling frustrated for years as to his loneliness and lack of close friendships, even though he has learned in yeshiva for years and is now in college working on a degree in psychology ….. he is so bright and one of the most remarkable and nicest people we know ….. the best thing that can be done for these wonderful young people is to embrace and accept them ….. regardless of their social literacy skills ….. sadly, the common Jewish practice of shaming and shunning those among us who are different is probably one of the reasons for our unusually long and painful golus …. and doesn’t do much for the gentle and remarkable people with Asperger’s, either ….

    in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847719
    yoheved
    Participant

    responding to those who claim this generation has unique issues … my two older boys, ages 24 and 22, are not even dating yet … and they are not worried, either … simply because the shadchan scene is such a scam in general … and personal introductions (through family and friends) is starting to be the trend, particularly where we live. we know couples who would not have met any other way … while there are many people who feel perfectly comfortable going to a stranger and submitting interview after interview on potential mates … other more homey types need the personal touch … and for many of the people we know, it has worked. it really pays to stay within the community … people have seen your children grow up and you have seen theirs … people can made a business out of anything … but your own child’s future and the future of their children should not be put in some fleeting stranger’s hands … there is tremendous strength in community … and my oldest son is now asking for three of his single friends from yeshiva … the old tried and true tactic that G-d will give you what you do for others … if he finds shidduchim for his friends, he is guaranteed Ha-Shem will give him his … and possibly even in that order …

    as for the older single woman’s plight … my son’s rabbonim have recommended for years now that older women make the best choice … so there you have it … stay within the community, dump the shadchanim, encourage your single adult children to first help their friends find their mates … and teach your boys to go for the older girls …

    in reply to: Mothers Day: Yes, Or No? #684415
    yoheved
    Participant

    thanks… i’m going to work on it right away … i think i’ll call it: Boycott Japan in support of the three mothers … lets see if we can get their sons released…

    in reply to: Mothers Day: Yes, Or No? #684413
    yoheved
    Participant

    a few weeks ago this same question was posted by our rabbi here in north miami beach… who concluded that every day is ‘mother’s day’ for the Jewish People… and he brought to mind the three mothers whose sons are sitting in Japanese jail cells… the three bochrum … and he (rabbi S.) not only prays daily for their quick release…but feels that this mother’s day should be a special day of tehillim for those precious Jewish mothers who have to live through this…

    on this note… and since being asked what we could do to escalate their release (tehillim plus anything else)… it came to me while lighting candles just this past Shabbos (the day before mother’s day)… why don’t we just boycott everything Japanese until those bochrum are released? i have a close friend who recently bought her son a used Honda… and even though it was used, it made me think about Japanese products … about how we could use our great buying power to say something …. if we could abstain from buying Japanese products … we could use it as leverage to get those young men released…

    i know if i were the mother of one of those young men, it would turn my stomach to know that there were people i loved … including the entire Jewish nation … who were buying Japanese products while my (obviously innocent) son was trapped (G-d forbid) for years in their jail….. i think we should start a boycott… on behalf of the three mothers … on behalf of our version of mother’s day… our Jewish ‘mother’s day’….. don’t buy Japanese until the three are released and safely back in Israel… they know these young men were used as mules… everyone knows they are innocent… we have to start somewhere…

    on behalf of those three mothers, someone needs to start a group boycotting Japanese products on facebook… tell it to the world… i know i would feel that this would be a great help if i were one of those mothers … to get their boys back … we don’t need a ‘mother’s day’ to do what’s right .. we should be able to show our loyalty everyday… what else should ‘mother’s day’ be but a day in defense of, and loyalty to, our holy Jewish mothers, whoever and wherever they are…

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