As a therapist working in the Lakewood community, I recently attended a professional networking event, hoping to connect with colleagues in the mental health field. Instead, I walked away with something far more disheartening: a growing sense that basic social skills—simple decency, acknowledgment, and presence—are disappearing among professionals in our community.

I attempted to strike up a conversation with another therapist. She paused, saying, “Hold on, let me just say bye to them.” I waited—but she never came back. No follow-up. No courtesy. Just… gone.

This wasn’t an isolated incident. I’ve begun to notice a troubling pattern—not just at events, but in shul, at simchos, even at everyday interactions. My husband often remarks how, at shul, people seem unable to stand still and connect. There’s this constant restlessness, this difficulty in just being present with another Yid for more than a few seconds.

What’s going on? Is this a cultural shift? A reflection of our fast-paced, distracted lifestyle? Or perhaps, is it something deeper—a communal erosion of interpersonal sensitivity and self-awareness?

We teach our children social skills. There are entire programs for it in schools. But what about adults? When did we stop holding ourselves to the same basic standard?

Respectful interaction—making eye contact, offering a handshake, remembering to circle back in a conversation—these aren’t luxuries. They’re the glue that holds our relationships together. Especially in professional settings, they matter deeply. For a field like mental health that’s built on empathy and connection, the irony is painful.

I’m writing this not just to vent, but to hopefully start a conversation. Am I alone in seeing this? Have others noticed the same drift toward coldness, aloofness, or even unintentional arrogance?

Maybe it’s time to start a “Social Skills for Adults” club. If kids need help learning how to interact, maybe we do too. I’m serious.

If you’ve experienced something similar—or disagree and want to share your take—I’d love to hear from you. Let’s bring this conversation out in the open. You can reach me at [email protected].

Signed,

Anonymous

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