By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for the Five Towns Jewish Times
Of late a number of Frum stores have been advertising Valentine’s Day sales. What is worse is that some of these advertisements are appearing in religious Jewish publications. Some people have argued (incorrectly, in the opinion of dozens of Poskim that this author has spoken with) that even though Valentine’s day has a Christian origin, the Christian origin has “nearly completely vanished in our secular society.”
It is clear, however that according to the Rama (YD 178:1) it is completely forbidden. The Maharik is the source of the Ramah and a look at the original would help clarify the intent of the halacha.
Some people misread the Igros Moshe (YD IV 11:3) to say,
“even in a case where something would be considered a prohibited Gentile custom, if many people do it for reasons unrelated to their religion or law, but rather because it is pleasurable to them, there is no prohibition of imitating Gentile custom.”
This is, in fact a mistranslation. Rav Feinstein’s exact words were, “that even a matter that is certainly considered Chok HaAkum, if it is something where we observe that the entire gentile world does this, (even those) that have no connection at all to their belief and to their customs, rather [they do so] because it is more convenient for the masses to do so, there is already no prohibition of imitating gentile custom.”
Rav Feinstein zt”l was referring to the notion that not covering the head when eating cannot be considered a prohibition of imitating gentile custom because the universal world of non-Jews, as a whole do this – even the non-Christians.
Thus, according to the vast majority of Poskim, it is not just an act of the pious to refrain from giving chocolates to one’s wife or a friend on Valentine’s Day – it is entirely forbidden and a Biblical violation of “walking in the ways of the gentiles.”
In a similar vein, we should not be holding Valentine’s Day sales, nor should we be advertising them. It is this author’s opinion that a customer should respectfully and nicely tell the store-owner the concern.
The author can be reached at [email protected]
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12 Responses
Isn’t it simply a tribute and an honor for a good person named St. Valentine? This, although practiced by religious people, isn’t necessarily religious, but more humanistic. I would compare it to celebrating July 4th.
1.
It makes no difference if the guy was a “good” goy or bad goy. This is that it remains Chukas Akum and is assur.
In general I am baffled by how many of inzir menshin are ignorant when it comes to these things. How many of you have seen frum people use the expression or even knock on wood? What about crossing their fingers? There’s so many many more.
Why is it chuka Hagoy? It’s not a religious celebration, but a celebration of a honoring an individual person.
lo selech bechukas hagoi has zero to do with a religion or bechukodayhem lo salaaychu or lo tismach yisroel bgil koamim all these are only their cultural customes why do u need this do you take your wife out on rosh chdesh ???
Why is this different then the super bowl. Why is that mutar? JUST SAYING!!!
many a heimeshe business advertize to advantage themselves from this day and others. as long as they share profits with important mosdos, no one seems to complain. not a ehrliche thing
wait a minute. there is no proof or argument made in this article that advertising a sale for/on a non-Jewish holiday is tantamount to celebrating that holiday. I would argue otherwise. In fact, a majority of poskim hold that it is permitted to sell crosses and in fact, everyone on 47th street does just that.
No 1 you obviously didn’t read the article. Go back and read it and this time try to understand instead of trying to argue
No 8, I read the article. The words Chritian origin are vague. St. Valentine was of that religion but that doesn’t make it a religious celebration. The actual celebration is not religious in nature but simply honoring an esteemed person in their group for doing good deeds. I don’t see why this is chukas hagoy. Could anyone give me a coherent answer, and not just sharp sarcasm, please.
And to No 4, this is a discussion of halacha. It’s not a discussion of whether this is instead of a seudas Rosh Chodesh. That would need to be discussed in a mussar shmooz, but rabbi Hoffman is saying it’s assur, and I’m asking why.
I agree with Tom in fact we should all be celebrating Xmas cuz it’s just celebrating yushka birthday who was a person not the actual religion and we all know he was a good person…also Obama is great
I am far from the most “machmir” poster on this site but to me its just a matter of common sense…frum yidden have enough opportunities of showing kavod to their spouse without having to do it on Valentines Day. Can you imagine our parents or grandparents in the alte heim going out for dinner on February 14th??
kudos again to R. Hoffman for bringing out excellent points on important issues.