Dear YWN Editor,
I have read with great interest the emotional letters and pleas of your readers on various subjects relating to shiduchim. Interestingly, Hamodia Magazine has recently been focusing on the subject of “Stigmas in Shiduchim” and has been providing its readers with a series of emotional stories intended to break down some of the common stigmas in this parsha.
For this reason I was quite taken a back by a line in a recent story they published and would like to hear the feedback of YWN’s educated and literate audience. The story is in the March 5 edition and begins on page 15. The story is about a young woman who unfortunately has a genetic medical syndrome. In the course of the story, Hamodia states, and I quote “When I turned 19, people began warning me that my prospects for marriage were not good. ‘You may have to take a working boy’ they cautioned me.”
I am very confused as to how an article written by sensitive thoughtful people with the intent of tearing down stigmas and generalizations when it comes to shiduchim could make such a seemingly denigrating statement regarding a large segment of our community.
I would therefore appreciate your reader’s input as to how to understand this. My thoughts so far are:
1. Yes it really is a sin to be working. That does not sound right though.
2. Maybe there is a mussar haskel here in the fact that a stigma breaking expert has her own stigmas. Perhaps this just goes to show us how much more work needs to go into breaking down these stigmas.
Confused in Teaneck.