I walked a few miles today
I hope some weight went away
Wouldn't it be neat
To just press DELETE
And NEXT and then OK?
(Select number of pounds you wish to DELETE PERMANENTLY)
YWN Coffee Room » Humor & Entertainment
Limericks!
(775 posts)-
Posted 4 years ago #
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I like that one eclipse, here is a similiar one with a computer theme
When you INSERT your food please don't race,
You do not have to stuff your face,
You need self CONTROL,
Not to have another bowl,
Because you can't just press BACKSPACE!Posted 4 years ago # -
I'm gonna start a Fat Gemach
You're welcome to drop in
Take all the "pounds"
Weighing me down
So I can just be thin!P.S. Is exaggerating for a limerick muttar?
Posted 4 years ago # -
Blinky- that limerick is amazing! Luv it!
Posted 4 years ago # -
blinky,I agree!
Posted 4 years ago # -
Those computer ones were great. Here's a fantastic math one. Get out your calculators and try it!
A dozen, a gross and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Equals nine square plus zero, no more!Posted 4 years ago # -
Shaitel Exposes -cleaning much Faster
Solutions for the Shidduch Disaster
A sort of accurate psak Halacha
Tips for the biggest Hanacha
Seems like everyone in the CR’s a MasterPosted 4 years ago # -
My favorite thread is credited to Shticky
Although I confess my tastes are not Picky
But when the choice is between
News, Gossip or Daily Routine
I’m happy I can try to wax LimerickyPosted 4 years ago # -
I missed the eclipse that was lunar
I wish I'd awakened much sooner.
But I was so tired
That in sleep I was mired,
And didn't get up until noon-er.Posted 4 years ago # -
Minyan gal im really blue,
For limericks you would always do,
But your gone awhile,
And I miss your style,
Please come back we need you!Posted 4 years ago # -
It is a matter of great pride
That to all limerickers I confide
I have found a good place
In the thread thats most ace
I no longer just look from outsideThe posters in this Limerick race
Show a really advanced knowledge base
So I'm happy it to promote
Though the last ones I wrote
Were just after my school relay race!Its now like a proper affliction
And I hope this wont cause family friction
Cos I cant get enough
Like tobacco or snuff
I've developed a real addictionI have stopped all my work philanthropic
And started to seach microscopic
For limericks that click
Like a conjuring trick
Keeping this the top discussion topic!I do exaggerate just a bit
Cos it doesnt take long to submit
A few short words of verse
In which I can disperse
A few lines of rhyme complete with wit!*Phew!*
Posted 4 years ago # -
Im not the one to complain,
But this is totally insane,
I can't seem to end,
This limerick trend,
It keeps busy my brain.Any one else feel the same???
Smartcookie- forgot to thank you:) I like it too!
Shticky- its so nice to see a male with a poetic flair. Yikes! i better get out of here fast....
Posted 4 years ago # -
Wow! such great news.
To oomis and her crews.
Lots of hatzlacha.
On this beautiful bracha.
A wonderful addition to the Jews.Not quite a limerick, but a nice sentiment.
Posted 4 years ago # -
Yippee for the weather forecast
Dont look at me so aghast
I wont bat an eyelid
If you call me a kid
But I tell you I'm having a blastFrom my yard's edge to hedge
I'm gonna make you a pledge
I will have the best fun
As I try to outrun
All my neighbours on my daughters sledgeFor all of you who have a fear
Dont worry I know how to steer
I will be in a trance
Cos this is the last chance
Of me playing with some snow this yearPosted 4 years ago # -
In the unfortunate absence of Minyan Gal, (where are you?), Minyan Guy will have to step in so here goes:
In the sedras of שמות and וארא
The jews had a שעבוד יתירה
משה went to the nile
And פרעה he did rile
When he asked to be let out במהרהIn this weeks sedra called Bo
He again asked "Let my people go"
Cos if you dont then takker
You'll receive another makka
But the stubbon king just said "NO!"So H' sent in swarms of locust
that covered th ground like dust
They came with a gale
Eating what remained from the hail
פרעה said Please remove them, you mustSo משה davenned and they went
and פרעה he tried to repent
But he could play no more part
cos H' hardened his heart
So to free the Jews he could not consentNext came darkness - no sun's rays
And beleive me it was more than a haze
The dark they could feel
It was such a big deal
That no Mitzri could move for 3 daysFInally משה did warn
Of the killing of every 1st born
Bloody doorposts showed whose
Were the homes of the Jews
Every Mitzri, even פרעה, did mournפרעה ran out in his night dress
But couldnt find משה's address
SO the kids they did play
Sending פרעה astray
They had fun with his Royal HighnessSuddenely משה he found
But when he said GO NOW, משה frowned
They went only next morning
פרעה chased without warning
And into the Yam Suf they drownedThe lesson from all this is clear
At my limerick dont sneer but cheer
Writing this is gr8 fun
SO come on everyone
But please dont put it off till next year!Posted 4 years ago # -
Wow shticky guy- that was some some limerick!
It's definitely the one I'd pick
You have a talent that shows
From your head to your toes
You really are a guy that's shtick!Posted 4 years ago # -
Wow, those ones were great! You really have talent shticky
Smartcookie- you stole the limerick right out my mouth! (jk)
Heres one (make believe its 3 days earlier...)
January 1st is today's date,
The ball was just dropped in NY state,
But the Jewish first day,
Is on Aleph Tishrei,
And Rosh Hashana we do celebrate!Posted 4 years ago # -
Thank you both for your kind words
They were among the nicest I've heard
But dont you even dare
To just leave it there
Pls send in again and seconds and thirds!Posted 4 years ago # -
When Coffee Room posters don't click
And I get kind of tired and sick
I run helter-skelter
Looking for shelter
In this lovely thread, with a limerick!Posted 4 years ago # -
A wonderful sight met my eyes
It was a fantastic suprise
Its been so quiet for a while
But limericks are now back in style
And the best ones for sure are Shticky Guy'sTo his poetry i was humming
And couldnt stop my feet drumming
You have a great gift
So dont cut us adrift
Shticky Guy please keep them coming!Posted 4 years ago # -
The reason for quiet, is clear
Our people are nervous, I fear.
New topics are needed
And caveats heeded,
To not critique posts that appear.Posted 4 years ago # -
In Chodesh Shevat the trees we treat
For their foods that we eat
On the day of "Tu"
We say Shehechiyanu,
Before eating their fruits so sweet!A gutten Rosh chodesh Shevat!
P.S. Maybe someone can spiff it up. It doesn't have that limerick rythmn but i wanted to write one in honor of rosh chodesh shevat....Any limerickers out there?
Posted 4 years ago # -
Did you go to the concert of Hasc
I couldnt so I want to ask
Did it compare
With a previous year
Did Lippa behave or make a traskWere the majority of songs fast or slow
Were they new or from a long time ago
Did they have a cantor
Or maybe an enchantor
Or was there a different style of showIs your best singer Shwekey
Or do you prefer YBC
its a matter of opinion
But for me there's no dimyan
The king has to be MBDPosted 4 years ago # -
Sticky, that was great, as usual!!
When I saw Hasc's ad, I said IM GOING
Didn't care if it was raining or snowing
But I remembered too late
No more tickets under the $500 rate
I was all upset and blowing :(Posted 4 years ago # -
"Wow! such great news.
To oomis and her crews.
Lots of hatzlacha.
On this beautiful bracha.
A wonderful addition to the Jews.Not quite a limerick, but a nice sentiment. "
So nice of you. THANKS!
Posted 4 years ago # -
the month of adar is fast approaching
and the topic of drinking is broaching
chayavinishlivisumay
is a chiyuv that the rabbis say
so tell ur parents u dont need coachingPosted 4 years ago # -
Drinking too much is no good
Though on Purim some hold that you should
but please be wise
on this day of disguise
and don't drink more than you couldPosted 4 years ago # -
Everyone says don't drink and drive
If you want to stay alive
But this needs ink:
Don't drive to drink!!
And sober you will home arrive.Posted 4 years ago # -
A warm welcome to ticheled pink
You wrote a gr8 limerick i think
Some people are too shy
I cannot understand why
Treating limericks like a slippery ice rinkYou need just to utilise your kop
To come up with stuff that is top
Simply think for a while
Then start writing with guile
This will yield limericks that will not flopSo come and write something specific
And become another limericker prolific
Just be a bit shrewd
And you'll be a cool dude
Posting in lines that are just terrificPosted 4 years ago # -
to u drinking is not allowed
bc of ur children u r proud
but please u should really stop to think
it may be good for your kid to drink
on the one day that its allowedPosted 4 years ago # -
My dear Chayavinishlivisumay
It sounds like to you Purim is THE day
Drinking wine, whiskey or liquor
Until absolutely shikker
Its a chiyuv, its a mitzva, you say.But remember when you drink your l'chaim
To behave as Yaakov asked Menashe and Efraim
So go have a great time
But remember this rhyme
And your deeds should be sincerely l'shem shamayim!Posted 4 years ago # -
msseeker,nice!
Posted 4 years ago # -
No need tobe wise
Its what the rabbis advise
Ur allowed to drink all u wish
Till ur drunk as a fish
So I won't listen to ur criesPosted 4 years ago # -
You might faint of shame
At the end of the game
By whatever you did while shikur
Since "nichnas yayin
Yaytzay sod"--no lyin'!
So go easy on the liquor!Posted 4 years ago # -
Wow! there are some great ones above!
oomis- you are welcome, hows your little einikel?
Mother slowly waves her arm,
Welcoming in the Shabbos charm,
The candles cast,
A glow so vast,
Protecting us from outside harm.Good Shabbos!
Posted 4 years ago # -
let ur kid drink all day and night
its not worth putting up a fight
plastered, hammered or trashed he will get
so u might as well let
so to all u against drinking go fly a kitePosted 4 years ago # -
When times start to get tough
He starts to take some puff(s)
But it doesnt give him what it did
When he started as a kid
So he turns to hard stuffPosted 4 years ago # -
chayav what kind of messages are u sending
bad hashgafas u are lending
all u think abt is drink drink drink
but maybe u shud stop to think
cuz a lot of ppl you are offendingPosted 4 years ago # -
chayav....you took that straight from the other limerick thread.Who wrote it?
Posted 4 years ago # -
i wrote it in the other thread but it was closed because there is a limerick thred already so i copied it to here
Posted 4 years ago # -
Chayav,why is MY thread "depressing"
When drinking you are always stressing?
"Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker"
BUT LIFE GOING BY IN A BLUR IS DISTRESSING!We can't figure out who you are
So I will go out on a limb pretty far
To tell you:Not fine
Are obsessions with wine
I know many lives ruined by the bar...Posted 4 years ago # -
eclipse those rhymes were pretty witty
but u i really pity
cuz its a great fealin
when you r way above the ceilin(G)
in a whole different citythats what ints like when ur drunk
cuz getting drunk means u have spunk
its a feeling worth having
cuz all day ull be laughing
JUST CUZ UR DRUNK DOESNT MEAN UR A PUNKPosted 4 years ago # -
Thanks, eclipse. Here's another one, dedicated to the CR posters:
Let me put in my two cents
I learned from you ladies and gents:
The grass is not greener
Nor the laundry cleaner
On the other side of the old fencePosted 4 years ago # -
I remember Purim in my Yeshiva days
Nothing people said could us faze
Cos we bochurim knew best
So to hell with the rest
We continued with our rowdy ways
.
We felt that we bochurim were elite
So we behaved as we wished in the street
Purim was all about us
So why did guys make a fuss
If we were drunk and made children retreat
.
All was muttar cos we were not boys but men
But when we looked thru Purim pictures in our den
We saw guys lying in vomit
Like they'd come from another comet
And we vowed that we'd never do it again
.
As Hashem's sons we hadnt behaved
We had acted too wild and depraved
To shout and to jeer
To jump up and to snear
It wasnt the result we had craved
.
So in future Purims we acted
In a way that was much less distracted
We still always had a blast
Our fun was still unsurpassed
But from everyone else's day we hadnt detractedPosted 4 years ago # -
"Time to find a shidduch", said Bubby
Who you will proudly call dear hubby
I hope it'll be great
Your very first date
Just assume its Marriott's LobbyPosted 4 years ago # -
mods why do u allow cursing in the posts??????????????????
Posted 4 years ago # -
This is limerick number 297
we're almost in 7th heaven
a very special number
will appear so dont slumber
if you do i'll be very unforgivin(g)Posted 4 years ago # -
We're up to limerick 298
you know something, I really cant wait
we are now so near
in the thread I hold dear
I'm writing them out in a spatePosted 4 years ago # -
Its limerick 299
in this favorite ywn thread of mine
I exclusively disclose
as i do compose
I tell you its really divinePosted 4 years ago # -
"We've arrived! We've arrived!" I thundered
so just in case you wondered
please give a big cheer
because now we are here
at LIMERICK NUMBER THREE HUNDRED!!!Posted 4 years ago #
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