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Out Of The Mailbag: (NO Shidduch Crisis!)


yw logo24.jpgDear Yeshiva World,

I am writing this in the hopes that perhaps it will be read by your readers, and I can hear others feelings on this issue.

Many people have lately been under the impression that there is a massive shidduch crises occurring right now, and we must ALL do EVERYTHING that we can to rectify this problem.

I recently had the fortune to read a letter to the editor in a newspaper, entitled “The Shidduch Crises Crises”. The letter illustrated the point that the REAL issue here is that we are treating the ‘crises’ like a crises. I say, that for the ‘loshon hara’ crises, many years ago, treating a crises like a crises was fine. People got involved in helping everyone else in shmiras haloshon, and that was fine and dandy.

HOWEVER, in this particular ‘crises’, there are really people here, who are being tagged and labeled ‘older singles’. There is no doubt in my mind that this is hurting girls AND boys, who previously had no idea that their small problems were the worlds business.

I suggest that we, as individuals who all have some sort of distant relationship with some older single, take a step back and take our noses out of their business. We should not be tagging people and making them into mere ‘victims’ in this ‘terrible crises that has struck our people.’

If we did not put so much emphasis on getting married at 18, than 22 year old girls would not be feeling pressured to get married RIGHT NOW! Leave each other alone! Let people deal with their own problems, and then they won’t have this massive problem. STOP TALKING ABOUT THE ‘CRISES’! Stop the fad of getting married at 18. girls are not always ready at 18, but they feel combined pressure from their friends, who are getting married and having babies before their 20,and the common velt and it’s criticism.

Why doesn’t everyone back off and leave people to be?

Thank you for allowing me to speak (write!) my mind.

————
NOTE: Yeshivaworld welcomes your “Out Of The Mailbag” letters & comments. Letters may be edited or shortened for clarity. Submit all letters by clicking HERE – titled “Mailbag”.

The views expressed in this column reflect the opinions of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Yeshiva World News LLC. These individual opinions are also in no way meant as a P’sak Halacha or Hashkafa. As with all matters, be sure to consult with a Rov with all questions.



125 Responses

  1. Very well said.
    Why are almost all of these out of the mailbag stories or letters about shidduch crisis? Doesnt anyone have anything to say about any other issues or stories out there? I agree with the writer and think this should be the last mailbag about this topic. There will always be some girls getting married at 18, more girls getting married at 20, and some that are yes still not married at 22, 24, 26, 28 or older. I dont see how that makes this a “crisis” . No girl wants to be the one to get married later because they see everyone around them getting married BH, having kids BH etc…but that doesnt make this whole issue a worldwide crisis

  2. I couldn’t agree more. Yet this applies to all the other “crisis” as well. For example, if there wasn’t this stress on everyone having 10-15 children or more, those who have done all they could to have a nice-sized family but simply are not destined for this mission wouldn’t feel the unbearable pressure when they don’t have this. Or those whose children are not cut out to be super-learners would enjoy their children more and appreciate their hard-earned achievements on their level. We should stop comparing and rather strive to fulfull our individual tafkidim.

  3. Then perhaps we should stop the fad of boys marrying at 21. I don’t say this totally tongue in cheek. Let the boys get in solid learning till they’re 23, 24. This will make it easier for them to shoulder the responsibilities that come with marriage. Even if parents assist, and generously, there are responsibilities that marriage and children bring.

  4. Thank G-d the Shidduch crises is over!!! Now we have a new crises to worry about, “No New Crises, Crises”

  5. Sounds good, but if you’re going to stop nosing in other people’s business, don’t be bothered by the girls who do get married at 18, either. However, your main message is very true and important. No one wants to feel like a nebach!

  6. These shidduch letters are ridiculous, they help no one but I guess they give those in need a chance to vent. I myself was Baruch Hashem just released from this “crisis” and I have to tell the world that unless u yourself were an older single, u cant understand the pain and frustration.

  7. Very good letter. I agree that as a community we should take a step back a let people feel normal with their own minor/major challenges. I know someone that was contacted by a shidduch organazation because he had been divorced and they wanted to help him- they just needed his permission to add his name to their database at his 25th birthday when he would be “eligable” for their help. I’m sure that did wonders for his self confidence, and made his 25th b-day that much more specail.
    We must as individuals help our friends find shidduchim, just as we would do other chassadim to help people. But labeling (as the writer pointed out) just compounds it, and makes people feel worse. Death, illness, not having children, not being able to put food on the table etc… R”L, are all REAL very big problems, and if they were to be on a big scale, that would constitute a “crisis.” People having a difficult time doing something that is expected to be difficult is not.
    (P.S. Dare I say that there are so many chessed organazations trying to carve a niche for themselves (coping with pregnancy, coping with birth, coping with changing daipers etc…), that maybe they hype up their causes a little too much, so as to put their goals in the forefront of our minds?)

  8. You obviously don’t have children that are still single and don’t want to feel the pain other parents are going through. It is important for people to feel the tzar of another Yid and try to help in anyway. It is indeed a crisis and people are realizing it and coming to solutions. Please dont “Mach a vek” other peoples problems because it doesnt effect yourself.

  9. Thank you, Tzippi. It wasn’t bad enough already that any girl over the age of 19 who was being honest with herself, and knew she wasn’t ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage was being made to feel as though there’s something wrong with her. Now she also has to watch very young boys get married to very young girls. And don’t fool yourself, the divorce rate is not going down because these youngsters are getting married so young. Marriage requires a certain amount of maturity that it’s rare to find in a 21 year old boy.

  10. The only crisis in shidduchim is the mirror. Everyone looks at themself in the mirror and thinks they’re wonderful. None of us are perfect. When we realize that we are alot closer.

  11. #1 and #3 – Thank you! I’ve had enough of these letters as well and I’m an “older single.” Let’s try to believe in Hashem.

  12. Once again, I am reading another letter about the “shidduch crisis”. As the father of a 23 year old boy, I have seen most of his friends get married in the past 3 years. One of his friends is getting divorced after 5 weeks, count ’em, five weeks of marriage. Engagements are being broken by the dozens. We hear stories about men who refuse to give a get without getting money. Today, we have this new phenomenon called “Shtar Mechila”; I have heard some horror stories about this too. If the engagement is broken off, then the boy and girl should just return whatever was given to them and go their separate ways. Be happy that it ended now before you had children, because inevitably they are the ones that suffer for life. Parents, nobody knows your children better than you do. If you think they are still immature, let them wait a year or two. Everyone is in such a rush to get married; Unfortunately, a good percentage of these kids are exactly that – KIDS!!!

  13. I find it quite interesting that “kollelman” is posting at 10:09 am when if he was a real kollel man he would be in yeshiva. and please dont give any dan lekaf zechus stories as if you were entertaining to something more important you would not be posting. This is why people have animosity towards young men who are mooching off their in laws

  14. The reason why you hear so much about a crisis is because there is one. There was no talk of a shidduch crisis 20 years ago for a reason – since there wasn’t one. Of course it’s not a crisis that 22 year old aren’t married. It’s a crisis that according to the numbers, a certain percentage of girls won’t get married at all. So yes, of course it would be better if singles didn’t have to hear these doomsayers, but since they are not living in a bubble, as you apparently are, it has an effect on them & unfortunately causes more pressure.
    I agree with the comments that say you obviously have never gone through it or been close to anyone that did.

  15. This is a great article. People should stop putting this pressure on all of us to go out and marry a learning guy b4 we are 20. That is the problem. The years after seminary are a period of self growth and true motivation. Not when you are in a stricly jewish easy environment. But, when you have to be around non-jews while improving as a jew. That is the true test of a girl to know what she can handle.

  16. An incidental comment:

    Here’s some grammar/vocabulary help for those who need it.

    crises: plural of the word ‘crisis’

    The singular form of the word is crisis, but your spell-check isn’t catching the mistake because ‘crises’ is also a legitimate word.

    Thanks for listening.

  17. Yes, I agree, forget about this, the community is tired of hearing about our single 20 some and 30 some daughters who are really doing just fine with careers in accounting, speech therapy, occupational therapy, counseling, etc. So what if they don’t get married, they are quite content with their situations and after all they were unrealistic in their expectations and brought this all on themseleves.

    Yeshiva World, don’t believe a word of what I just wrote. This is an issue that the community needs to deal with. Please continue to publish these letters.

  18. #18 – tal: since when are Jewish girls & women supposed to be put to the test in a non-jewish environment to see what they can really handle?? I’m sorry but that’s ridiculous. A Jewish woman’s place is at home. It’s one thing to work out of necessity but another to do it to prove what you’re made out of. Come on!
    (And then in another discussion yesterday, people were commenting about how we can’t send our men out to a college environment…)

  19. random1,
    How do you know this guy is a kollel man just because he signs off like that?!
    Are you a random guy without a backbone and just full of “animosity”?!
    Besides, even if this guy is goofing off is that a reason to hate all kollel guys and talk about our bnai torah like that?
    Guess what buddy, there are plenty, in fact I bet more working guys who take and mooch off their shvers and parents than kollel guys!
    Don’t tell me – but their working.
    Their still killing their parents to pay for their out of control lifestyle.
    Please, no more random comments.

  20. NO MORE SHIDDUCH LETTERS !!!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
    IT IS SO BORING!!!! IT’S RUINING YOUR SITE!!!!PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND STOPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. Rebetzin, I think you need to understand that it is not possible to live in a strictly Jewish environment. After seminary, girls either need to go to college or go to work. Unless you can think of another option, there are two. Both options only exist with a non-Jewish presence.
    The test: friends are not 24/7, like in BY, constant non-Jewish presence, and without Torah classes (unless you go to a shiur). To continue to learn, be happy, and accomplish these years, you need to have motivation and work hard. Its not like we have either husbands in a shul or kids in school to keep us in the loop. We are alone, we don’t do for our families right now but for ourselves. Yes, as a single you do things for yourself.
    Do you truly believe that it is easy to be on a college campus a full day? Do you know what it is like not to have classes without a single Jew? Do you know what it is like to feel so out of place? Well, you obviously don’t bc you don’t support college. You can’t get much of a job without it nowadays. With the degree I’m working on my starting salary is 75K, which is very helpful to a family today. Tell me an enjoyable job with a starting salary in that range without college.

  22. Excuse me! Well I happen to come from a normal regular family, and unfortunately have 3 girls in my family on the market (all out of seminary). So for some people there IS a shidduch crisis. I don’t know why you are putting down the fact that there IS a crisis going on today. Perhaps all of you are married happily. But I know MANY singles out there having a very hard time with Shidduchim. If there is a crisis lets not deny it. Lets rather be busy helping out those singles instead of being in denial.

  23. I am being oisek in a shidduch of older people for the first time,and observing them makes me feel that the true crises is that they felt when younger that a shidduch needed perfection, that person had to have every maaleh that they wanted and as they older it just manifests itself. We as married people know that they is no perfection, but they don’t know this secret and wait for Mr. Perfect to come along

  24. Not sure if my comment went through. 12, all I meant was that there are responsibilities that come with marriage and family that can eat into learning time. I read a story about R’ Sofer zt”l
    (see the baruch dayan emmes section here). He asked a shaila if he could daven b’yechidus to help at home. Our kids have to realize what kind of investment they have to make in their family, even if someone else is footing their bills. Some kids are ready for this (boys as well as girls). Others will benefit immeasurably from the extra years. Life isn’t OSFA, (One size fits all)

  25. i am a girl who is 22 and i like these letters talking about the shidduch crises, because it feels like i am not alone, i am not the only one who has this problem-its make feel at least it not just “me” having this problem there are hundreds of girls out having the same problem

    btw–people ask me -at 22, what would you rather being single or divorced? def single! look at all the 20year olds who are divorced-i know plenty and i know a girl whose divorced at 21 w/ 2 kids

  26. to#23 ccg…dont understand what annoys you ..if you see article you are not interested skip it, ignore it, thats what we do. nobody is forcing anyone to read any particular article or postings..YWN cant start figuring each article who is or isnt interestd in it.the problem is, your curiosity is getting the better of ,and makes you read what your not interested…”u’moshail b’richo m’lokad ear”

  27. Obviously if there are so many letters of venting then it is a problem… a massive one. Ok maybe not a prob but a nisayon. The more we see it the sicker we get from it but thats one of the points…. Its time to look up to HEAVEN and say ENOUGH!! We gotta demand it! No it’s not a nebuch that a girl is 22 and not married but it is lonely for her and we all have an achrayis to feel the pain… yes it is a pain! It hurts. And we need to demand a Yeshua! YW… keep the letters coming 😉 we need to have it coming out of our ears until ppl will just give up their stupid hakpados just so YW wont have any letters left to post 🙂

  28. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.” -Albert Einstein. People here recognize that many people have a problem getting married. It’s been bewailed and bemoaned ad nauseum. Yet, no one proposed a solution. People continue wailing and moaning and at the same time steadfastly continue with the same rigamarole of shidduch meetings, shadchanim interviews, and other similar matchmaking methods that have proven to not aleviate the problem. That is INSANITY. PEOPLE!!!! It’s time to think outside of the box.

  29. Charliehall #33

    Not everyone can run off to a different state or country for college. Reasons can be financial, family issues, and medical. I can’t leave my state bc a doctor and hospital are here and I pay for my college, can’t afford bording. Some programs are nonexistent, bad, or hard to get a job after. The program I will attend has administrators of work places that are too watchful of the college that has my program. I have actually been advised not to go by a person at the place I would eventually work.

  30. #36 my point is this. The very formalized shidduch system which requires parents to vet prospective matches, a system which involves resolving issues such as does the boys father wear white shirts only on Shabbos, or do they use only a while tablecloth on Shabbos, or is she a size 6 etc? before a date can be arranged, a system in which dates themselves are governed by very strict ettiquette and protocol, a system which expects youngsters with virtually no experience with the opposite gender to decide if they want to get engaged when they have barely met, does not work. Perhaps it’s time to break down all the formal barriers and make it easier for young people to meet. Perhaps it’s time to encourage some informality, thereby allowing young people the freedom to be themselves and not governed by artificial formalities. Perhaps it’s time to extend courtships and let young people get to know one another better before getting engaged. That’s my point.

  31. 34- Cantoresq— If I may dissagree with you. Maybe you should open your eyes and see how many ppl WERE helped by these little solutions. Maybe not the whole big picture but shidduch meetings etc have pulled off many shidduchim, Nasi has pulled off many shidduchim, make a shidduch foundation has also and is also doing its share! Let the reminders keep on coming around and rolling, who knows each time may bring one new detail that will cause a shidduch to come about!!!

  32. Thank you “ayin tov” for being totally blind. Do you not realize what you are saying is false?? It is not just I who cannot stand “kollel” people mooching off their in laws I am speaking for a general public. These people have created a certain stereotype and they must not give us extra reason to believe it is true. Rgarding your assertion that “I bet more working guys who take and mooch off their shvers and parents than kollel guys!” you could not be more wrong. People brought up in a working environment learn to earn on their own rather than taking everything from their parents or in laws.

  33. #30 / donthaveinternet
    -btw–people ask me -at 22, what would you rather be single or divorced?-
    PEOPLE REALLY ASK THAT?
    SUCH SMART QUESTIONS DON’T DESERVE ANSWERS!
    reminds me of when my friend broke her shidduch (for good reason) ppl had the audacity to ask her “why didn’t you rather get married & then divorced?”
    their question was the answer. If she knows to consider divorce w/ this guy while their still engaged, then obviously he ain’t ready for marriage either……..

  34. Tal, I not saying no one should work in a non-Jewish environment. It just sounds like you are saying that it’s a necessary test to put yourself through to prove yourself. I worked as the only frum person (and the only woman) in my department for several years while single. I hated it & I don’t think it’s the place for a frum girl. I ended up leaving to a Jewish environment for less pay while still single. Guess I failed the test.

  35. charliehall,
    >A Jewish college environment IS possible for
    >young women — at Stern and Touro in NYC, and at
    >Bar-Ilan in Israel if you are fluent in Hebrew.
    > Both offer excellent secular and Jewish
    >educations with outstanding faculty in an
    >Orthodox environment.

    Better to go to Jesuit college and know you’re in an unclean atomosphere then to pretend you are surrounded by holiness in aplace that offers none. Been there, done that. I will spare you the details of what I know first hand about YU and Stern.

    Next case. Allow me to ask the klutz kasha: Why is it, by and large, that chassidim get married at 18-20. and those that go to YU and Stern, major repositories of shidduch crises, are single at 30-40? Without going into great detail it is interesting that the mating habots of the Modern orthodox in fact mirror that of the gentile population at large. May I suggest perhaps, that in “embracing the secular world” (i.e. euphemism for goyish culture) they have done too good a job and perhaps forgotton what are jewish priorities? Again, statistics don’t lie. The shidduch crisis is not in viznitz, skver, pupa, satmar, munkacz, bobov, rachimstrifsk, or tchernobol. I hope to have more on a seperate post or perhaps a seperate website in the near future.

  36. #38, if those organizations really worked, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The fact is that for many singles, and the number will eventaully approach critical mass, the rarified shidduch system does not work. Rather then try to fit circles into squares, why not just break down the barriers? Those who with to continue with the old system are welcome to. But those for whom that system might not work, need other options. I’m not referring to the overly picky or immature segment of the single world who have self imposed problems getting married. I’m referring to level headed mature young adults for whom the current ways of meeting prospective mates simply do not work. And #42, I don’t know where you get your information, but suffice it to say that you are wrong. The shidduch crisis is not within the MO world. Modern Orthodoxy has other problems, mainly a low birthrate to the high cost of the lifestyle. But getting married is not one of them

  37. #42
    You bring up 2 points I would like to respond to.
    —–
    You only seem to see what you want to see… you are right that there re both good and bad people in YU/Stern, but to say that it offers NO holiness is so disgustingly wrong. I have straddled both worlds, and I can say that I found more shmutz and terrible behavior (by terrible, I mean deviant behavior) in my life in Boro Park among chasidim, than the amount of irreligious behavior found in YU/stern.
    Just like I would not paint all chassidim with the same brush, and I understand that it is just aberrant behavior, not the way it is taught in the right-wing world. I am offended by your description of YU/Stern. No bunch of 17-22 year old boys or girls together will be a perfect bunch, but as a whole YU/Stern turns out are very good human beings as well as good Orthodox Jews.

    I wont go into the dark underside of the RW world, I saw it – if you want to compare notes, I am sure that what I saw will trump anything you might have encountered in YU/Stern. I am glad that you have not seen the underbelly of the RW, but it doesnt mean its not there.

    ————–

    About the problems of being single till your 30 from the YU world…. that has more to do with the RW worlds influence on YU than anything eles.

    There was a time when there were many events that allowed the boys and girls of YU to meet in social environments. It was laid back and you could just socialize. There were many good strong marriages made. Then they stopped, no more mixed parties, no more chances to meet nice religious prospects. The way it was, you could in a safe environment, meet a stranger, who could be your bashert. There were many stories of … I just saw her and I knew she was for me… so they went over to each other started talking and eventually were married. Now you have to hope that your bashert is already in your network of friends, because you cant get to know anyone who someone doesnt already know.

    My g-grandfather was walking with a shadchan to a prospective siddach, then he saw my G-Gmother standing outside her house and he just knew… There are two reasons that would never happen today, firstly not everyone know one another, so even if there is a sign, if you dont know someone who knows that person your chances are over, luckily they lived in a small town. But in his case the shadchan did not want to make the match because her *family* was not ‘worthy’ of his… But he knew it was a sign and he insisted. In todays world, it would never happen because we rely on what other people think and feel, not where (if we have emunah) Hashem leads us. How many times does Hashem give us chances, practically drops things in our laps, but we just waste it by foolishly thinking that there is only one way, and that one size fits all. Or being worried about what might happen or what others think.

    When Hashem created humans he created us as part of a pair… we need to find our other half, and He gave us a mind, a heart and some chemistry to help us find our bashert. You have a much harder time doing it if you have to rely on other people. I can understand the dating process of the current world, to keep people from doing the wrong thing when you find the right person. But I do not agree with the way in which todays world finds you the person to date.

  38. According to the latest study(geohives.com), males make up 50.25% of the world population. According to this, there should be no shidduch problem. The problem lies with the singles, not a shortage of men. The fact an 18 year old female thinks a 25 year old male is too old, diminishes the age pool of suitable men. A 24 year old male rules out a 25 or 26 year old female diminishes the female pool for the male to choose. When the age barrier is torn away there are amble of opportunities for everyone to get married. In addition, just because someone has a flaw do not rule them out of making a great spouse and parent figure.
    But it’s your lives and you can live they way you want…in this case all alone.

    ps. please do not site any Jewish statistics that states there are more females than males in the jewish population. That is utterly nonsense.

    To finally finish… there was a very interesting article about the shidduch crisis: “The Missing Piece” by Sarah Bronson that states: “Sociologists and matchmakers have various explanations. First, they say, it is true that Orthodox Jews tend to marry young – in their early 20’s, often, or even in their late teens if they are ultra-Orthodox – but this means that those men who are still unmarried in their 30’s are even more likely to be “resistant to commitment,” as Fishman calls it.
    Perhaps more important, the “age squeeze” is more pronounced among Orthodox Jews than in other groups. Danielle Jacobs, the chief operating officer of SawYouAtSinai.com (a dating Web site with over 25,000 Orthodox members) and the founder of JRetro- Match.com (a site with almost 10,000 non-Orthodox Jewish members) says “age is a sensitive issue in the Orthodox community, more so than in the secular world. Men are not as open to dating women their own age, never mind a woman who is older. A man is less inclined to date a 30 year old if he can date a 23 year old.”
    Several of those interviewed spoke of the “very strict criteria” that singles set for their dates, across the American social scene but especially among Orthodox Jews, who may demand that their dates not only be educated, good-looking, within a certain age range and nice to be with but also adhere to a long and specific list of religious criteria. This hurts singles of both sexes when they insist on maintaining a long “list” and cannot find a partner who meets their standards, and when they themselves fail to meet the exacting criteria of others.
    “The community sets it up that way,” says “Chaya,” who has been searching for a husband since shortly after she became Orthodox more than 10 years ago. Now in her early 30’s, Chaya (who requested anonymity) explains “the idea is to screen people before being set up on blind dates so you only date people who are appropriate [for you to marry]. But as time passes and things don’t work, you set up more criteria because you don’t want to keep being disappointed. You say ‘I need X, and I’ll only date X,’ and that limits you. When you vary from it, and it’s confirmed that [someone different from your criteria] doesn’t work for you, it’s even harder to be openminded.”
    In his book, Salamon documents the high incidence of Orthodox singles – or, more typically, their parents – who inquire about qualities that are “completely irrelevant” to marriage, such as the age at which a boy was toilet trained and the dress size of the girl’s grandmother.
    “I call this the commoditization of human relationships,” Fishman says. “It becomes almost like you are purchasing a car and are looking in Consumer Reports to make sure you don’t get ripped off. This is true in all Jewish communities, but in the Orthodox world the list is longer because you also have the religious qualifications.”

  39. to #37…figured , when we asked what “box” youre talking about hoben mir shoin gantz gut gevust,just wanted you should bring it out in the open.. we’re not going to mention again de whole pshetel from other articles with your and our postings, nor es shtimt.your shita of how to go about shiddicum and our shita goes hand in hand with your haskafas as opposed to ours. anyone interested, see article “charedi weeklies..” may 3, postings with this signiture and cantor esq signiture..

  40. Actually #45 End the Madness advocates exactly what I believe that the problems people have getting married, are, to a large extent, created by the Orthodox community and and the formalized rituals involved in the process. Moreover, I cannot tell you how misguided you are in suggesting that people marry so young. When Chazal enoucraged people to marry at 16, it was in times when a 16 year old already joined the adult world. They presumably had far greater maturity than contemporary 16 year olds.

    I am a divorce lawyer. I’ve seen first hand the results of bad matches made when children were 18 or 19 years old. You are correct that in those young years, they overlook flaws and are more attracted to the fun. But in many cases, a person’s persona is not set at that age. People change over time, and what was overlooked at 19 is suddenly a horrific problem at 25 or 30. If I had a nickel for every time I heard a client say “s/he was so pretty/handsome/fun to be with when we were younger . . .” I’d be rich as Trump. Getting married is among the most important decisions one will ever make. It isn’t kinderspiel.

  41. 46, if your tongue wasn’t in cheek, I wouldn’t call you an apikorus. Just misguided. Marry younger? The shver?
    I think that at a certain age, maybe about the age the kids are appropriately thinking about marriage, I could hear one making the case for more opportunities to meet informally. Not advocating it, but understanding it in the appropriate communities.

  42. Ah # 47 up to your typical tricks. When presented with a post to which you know not how to respond, you resort to killing the messenger. Quite frankly I’m gratified that you insulted me this way. Tells me I’ve got a point.

  43. to anyone…on the whole compared to the amount of marriages the shomrei torah umitzvos have, there are far far less divorces as compared to others ..especially l’havdl to non-yidden. by the non yidden un de “freyah” yidden, men ken laiben tzuzm—, in end get married and then divorce within a short time, so what did they accom. by …… together..unzer heilige derech is the best…
    Vos is pshat “moitz asurim b’kishoros, take 2 fremde mentchen un.. , ..vos i pshat “vayovo huohelo “vharai hu suro umo” (see rashi breishis soif chaye sorah..)..only after they were wed..”vharei hu …”. The derech of this apikoras, wont mention his signature any more, is the derech fun di no-jews un nit ehrliche yidden that brings to big assirim and poigem b’kdushas am yisroel, and thats why all the holy gedolim of all generations didnt hold from this way. bring to yicud,negiah and, lefu lower madreigos of not ‘chareidi”, to …will not go further… and thats why we have this derech..and worked..the crisis..we think big part is no courage to commit, this past nit, the other if she or him didnt want him or her why should i (a third party), want. we can go on..its not as if men hot nit ungetrugen….. buy the way this guy wants us to get out of the “box”..he actually means ..of the whole “box” from breishis to ‘leanei kol yisroel”…and from “meaimosei koirin es shema” to “ale halochos” (last 2 words of last mesachte of shass..)

  44. When did I suggest yichud or negiah? I suggested that the community abandon certian stupidity like worrying about how paretns dress or the color of a table cloth. I suggested that young adults be able to date in a confortable non-pressured setting, and nothing more. BTW jent1150 you can call me all the names in the book. But you’re deluding yourself and others when you ignore certain facts. Those of us who mainly represent frum people in their divorces, are getting busier and busier. All the schmutz That plagues the world plagues the frum velt too.

  45. jent- #52 would you mind writing a bit more clearly?
    you say 1 word & then it’s followed by a ….
    leaving it up to us readers to guess what goes on in your imagination.
    anyway from what I understood (unfortunately only the first few words) – u have a point that we have less divorces but —
    a lower divorce rate doesn’t necessarily equal happier marriages.
    this is a mistake that many ppl. make.

  46. to #51..but those typical tricks braught out your apik.., lets not get into it again. those who are interested can look up the postings refered to in post #47, and will under stand…remember the saying “make sure your words are soft and sweet for you never know when you might have to eat them”.. same goes for aipkorses..so unless moderator will erase them ..they are there for everyone to see and judge..

  47. to #10..so as to my next child, can you advise as to what age they should start looking to get married? and what would you suggest they do till then? go to college, go to work, and if its a he,stay in yeshivh? some people are mature by 7-8 years some not by 40 years, so are we going to devise a maturity test?

  48. to#54..now, now take it easy, not good for blood pressure…we did not accuse anything like that…please follow up on your reading comprihension. again, the reason we have our way becaus of harchokos so we shouldnt fall into our temptations…and where they dont have them it follows “ein apritopos l’aroious (chulin 10b (?)…you say frum also have..that we touched on already other posts on other article..you can also fine tune your memory..how come such “revisionist myth bearer”, can remember ..and you educated secular intllectual forgets..

  49. to #51..forgot to mention… we want to kill the message not the messinger “yitamu chatuim v’lo chotim” brochos 10a…we are not like those “perah adom” ,sub-human animals ,yismaels einiklech that slaughter their co-religionists for evry minor infraction

  50. to #4 tzippy…this is not a “fad”,this is the holy derech that our parents,grandparents way back were noiheg and how we are noiheg and has holy reasons ,see partly reasons in post #52..cant start enumerating countless dinnim in shulchen urech aven hueazer here (yes, “revisionist” “myths”..{the guy knows who i mean}). To buy cabbage patch dolls (remeber 20 years ago),to have hair style like this or that movie star etc, etc, etc, is a fad, to go in the holy deruchim of our heilige rebbes un zeides is not a fad!! did anybody learn first 10,15 simonim in even ezer befor one gives advice on what is the proper derech…we are filled with the shmuts,decadance of the immoral street (not c’v bmayise)and then we come here on ehrliche toirehdike haskofe site un men zuke dayous vos shtamt fun de tumene gass…

  51. to #53 you say “he means well”..well we pointed out what he is, see reference where to look in #47..so he is b’gader “lo sachmol ulov v’lo sechase ulov..” dvorim 13 posuk 9..and shouldn’t start crying ,we are calling him names we are pointing out, according how we understand, what he is.. called us noam chomsky, y’mshvz and wasn’t insulted although would’ve prefered “norman finkelstein” same rasha,just sounds better….

  52. to #52…how old was reb akivah when he met rachel?40 years. we dont expect a 40 year old to have his parents tag along…how old was mosishe rabbainu ? …also he had to run for his life and if they were alive they didnt run with him..mother probably was not alive, he was born when she was 130 years.his father amrom also not (not sure) so please if you dont know the chronology…. (fancy word for 3rd grader,huh?)..

  53. to #51 we read and re-read #47 and couldnt figure where we insulted ,can you enlighten? just pointed out we have different haskofes so by disagreeing you get insulted, and you call me 3rd,4th,6th grader, noam chomsky(other postings on other articles..we didnt get insulted. “es hot unz barirt de linke peyoh”…nor vos den, you we can say “oifen ganif brent de hitel”

  54. jent1150- take a chill pill, thanks, then we can hear you… but you are talking to fast and too heated to get anything thru!

  55. To all those that want to know why people write about the shidduch crisis ad nauseam, please be aware that when I wrote in…….EDITED BY SITE MODERATOR….. the site refused to post it. So for all those that are sick of the same topic, try getting a different one posted.

    Editors Note: FYI: We post as many as space allows us to, and for the record, there are far more letters regarding other topics. See for yourself by clicking on  the following link: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news_cat.php?cat=11 Make sure to check all 5 pages of mailbag letters.

    Also, we happen to have your letter (together with approximately 100 others), and hope to get to it one day. NO need to be rude.

  56. Re 58 and 61. I used the word “fad” as the original letter writer referred to the fad of girls marrying at 18.
    And if you wonder where I pulled that number out: Partly from my observation of young men I know, and largely vindicated by a quote from Rav Scheinberg, shlit’a, in Mishpacha, who thinks that 24 is a good age for boys.
    In my book, when a boy gets married he has to be prepared for the possibility, even with “guaranteed” support, of having to assume the responsibilities of life. I would like to give my boys the gift of undistracted learning (and if appropriate for the child, vocational or professional secular education) before marriage.

  57. to #67…still didnt answer our question why should one go according to your observation ,each person according to their observation will see differently..

  58. pashute yid

    i have news to share: there is one less single on the yw now! so when should i book the sheva brachos?(please no cholent, thanks)

  59. #65, I consider being called one who seeks to uproot the Torah, which is what you have consistently said about me (see your post # 52 and # 56) an attempt at insulting me. But rest assured, I’m not offended. You can’t help yourself. you’ve been trained to respond to anything that differs from your POV in such a fashion.

  60. to #72 rabbi of berlin..your title aptly describes you…thats where the “haskala” started and you were their “rah..bbi, rah..bonim” what the holy chasam sopifer would call them (our “revisionist””myths” as opposed to “historical truths”) have noticed your anti torah hakafos on another article and posted to you as such, will look up and try to find it..but this one is outright apikorses..we say that because, the gemmorah in sanhedrin perek chelek “azaihu apikores? hamvaseh talmdai chachoin..” and there is no bigger than “mesaper acrai mitoso shel talmedai …” and we are talking here of the holy gedolai hador of the previous generation-S you say “what makes you so sure that the gedolim of past are always correct” so to you we dont have what to say but to the ehrlica yiden who are reading this for them we say ..”mir zayen we er halt” . you say “last time i looked they did not anticipate the…” your pea size brain cannot phantom such chorbin, there were plenty tzaddikim that forsaw what was comming chofetz chaim etc etc because..this is too gigantic subject to dvelve into…we were meramez in other post what we heard from few holy gedolim as to this subject and why..THAT guy started crying “are you insinuating that it was because…”also regarding my keys stuck on keyboared – you have choice to skip, we dont read all posting to #74..the problem is, we didnt put forth “our”, point of view its the derech we have all the way to moshe m’sinau..and we braught holy mekoros, you say what you think, as what your haskafa was affected by your SECULAR STUDIES that you so revere…to say the least

  61. to#74 we got pretty good training from the holy shas shulchen urech, mussar sforim etc etc etc, finnished shass few times, were just mentioning so you get idea where our “training” and POV comes from..plus..and can you tell us where YOUR apikorsishe “training” come from?(who is intrested what we are refering to see article “charedi weekly..” may 3, all postings with #74 signiture..) this is casulty of your secular obgot and thats why our holy gedolim gave us limits l’gabay secular …see t’suous hu rasba (the rishon)

  62. to #74..the trouble is you have short memory, you forget the apikorsishe words you said on that posting plus others “…chareidis truths doesnt stand up” etc, etc, we will not regergetate your garbage again.. and then you cry your insulted…anyone interested look up all this guys postings any subject and if your ehrliche yid un gelerent toirah youll see for yourself vi er halt mit yiras shomayim..

  63. jent- I know that you have to argue with every single post & can’t leave anything out, but please write slower & more legibly. Thank You.
    P.S. by calling ppl names like “pea sized brain” (in the run-on sentence of #76) you certainly don’t evoke my respect for you.

  64. #79 who knows – maybe the lucky guy is a yehiva world reader, or even an active participant in the postings…
    mazel tov lgbg!

  65. pashute yid – forgot to ask: how much did you charge for this shidduch? did protektzia allow for a discount?

  66. dont have internet:
    yes, i am baruch hashem engaged!

    Pashute yid:
    im telling you! your just an amazing shadchan, i think my parents were reading all your great ideas and finally put them into action! ill let you know when the wedding is this way you can do major planning for the gala sheva brachos….

    willi:
    thank you!

    NOR OIF SIMCHAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  67. to #80 since we dont know each other, what respect your talking about. you want to respect a faceless post #? oich nit kluk geret.. why do we need your respect for ..the contents of the sublject matter counts. if you agree according to halacha or if not bring reyous to your shito but not from mayselech that was or wasnt .the maises of gedolim and tzaddikum are very inspirational to be mechasek our derech in emunah hashem, but when you use it to negate the halacha like that godel gave aliya to…. etc we will not accept that practice becauses did or didnt happen…also what you worried that we write every post, not enough paper… to# 73..mazel tov, and shuld be a “biyun aday ad” men zolzeich elteren un freiden..

  68. how about this?

    everyones leaves the commenting on shidduchim alone,and do something about it?

    if that is too difficult to ask, then maybe we can see other issues raised on this foum? the shidduch crisis is not the only issue nowadays … or is that the only thing that yeshivaworld allows to be posted?

  69. jent – A. if someone offers constructive criticism or even musser that doesn’t please you, you don’t have to shoot back. You’re just showing that I hit it right on target.

    B. by commenting that I don’t respect a specific comment, don’t take from that what I DO respect, cuz I only told you what NOT.

  70. to #91..yes “a” godol can make mistake, a “rabbon shel kol yisroel” has extra siyatte d’shmaye…can refer you to a chasam soifer ,dont have time to look it up..(“v’hashem imo”..melamed s’halach k’moso b’chol mokom) ..gedolim(plurel)have extra siatte d’shmayeh..but the problem is that a pea size brain like you decided that they made mistake .. we are less then the dirt that these holy gedolim treaded upon..so please dont take it so personnaly..you are talking about a derech that our holy….,see post #61. so you are just repeating you apikorses, see #76.. also you say :”there were plenty of gedolim in berlin” did we say there were no not?, we are just stating to which catagory you belong.. and please, why do you get insulted since you are in agreement of these catagory and according to you its the right way, they were of the shita that the whole torah s’bal peh was “gedolim can make mistakes” ..so whats the problem. Story..hagoen tzvi hirsh berliner quit being rov of that city so the balai batin asked him why..so he said “because this is the 1st shayloh he is being asked since he bacame rov in this city..and there are plenty other such stories..(see dor deyhah ” form hagoen kemelhare.. and other places {hello there from “revisionist” “myth beares” heh?}

  71. to#91 you say “allow me to look at the truth” same old cliche’.. just because you use the words “the truth” it doesnt become ‘THE TRUTH’..you say tell me so which gadol should i follow”, who is discussing which gadol you should follow for all i care you can follow pope paul. we are saying you come here on a ehliche toirdike haskofe site wht beleive torah s’hbksav and torah s’hbal pehk were given l’moshed misinay and all our holy txzadiidkim of previous genrations wer bgadec malochinm “im hurishonim k’malochim unu k’bnaei adam not like mt pea size brains sai the were….afre l’pime (see his apikorsishe post #72 and other posts on other articles

  72. to 91..”a” gadol can make a mistake but a godol hador has extra seatte dishmayah, see chasam soifer cant look it up now but it is in “chut hmshulesh” and “k’sav zos zikoron”(you know,”revisionist” “mythbearers”..eh, mr secular?)kol shekain, when the holy GEDOLIM of previous generations all the wayto “moishe m’sini..so mr pea size brain, we are not talking about just “a” godol..weare not even worth the dust they tread on (maybe you , not us) im hurishonim k’bnaei malochim ,uno k’bnei adam…im sure you never heard these terms so its not suprising your apikorsos see post #72 ,#76…

  73. to #91 rah…bbi of berlin (the origin of haskalah).. you say “so which gadol should i follow”..we couldnt care less if you follow pope paul the issue here is that you come here on a “site” that is made for ehrliche yidden bnei torah who believe that the torah sh’beksav and torah sh’bal peh which includes arbey chelkay shulchun urech is l’moshe m’isini and is binding, and you come and sputh forth your apikorses ..see #72 and #76 .by the way are you actually “cantor esq” and also go by “rabbiof berlin..” because you have the same haskofos.. and please we are not insulting you , from all his posts he also seems to be rooting for them (makilim, )so you are in good company..

  74. TO #91…we just noticed your saying…”…seriously suggest that our gedolim are “popes”? infallible??..”… to be medame “our” (not yours) gedolim to the hoibt gallech that shows unequivicolly that the title “berliner rebbe” fits you prfectly, see post #76…also, you say “do you seriously suggest that out gedolim are “popes”? “infallible??” in others words popes are infallible..nu! didn’t we say your are apikoras of first order? we can say here “kishgugu hayoitze mdivrei hashalit” hashem put these word in your “mouth” to show everybody what you are….now lets bring a maise from the holy chazon ish (these are also from the holy gedolim that ..who said that the reason he chose the wholy steipler gaon for his sister because he could feel from the contents of his sefer his yiras shomayim..although we are not that madrege but lefu our low madrege one can also denote from ones writing vu ehr halt and this is perfect example..now please dont come and cry we are insulting you, just refute what we mention if we are wrong but with reyous from ehrliche mekoros..

  75. to #91 you say “..the satmarer rebbe z’tvkl (not z”l)that was rescued by an apikores and can thank his life to that man “..of what relevence is it to this subject to mention “was rescued by apikores ..and can thank..” is there a din somewhere not to be allowed to be rescued by apikores, or maybe you meant since his rescuer was apikpres so he should’ve gone c’v his ways? so can you enlighten us on the matter …also please dont excuse us as our finger is stuck on keyboard

  76. pashute yid…. so nu when should i book the sheva brachos for??

    jent1150 thank you and amen

    dont have internet do i know u??????

  77. LGBG- What about Bais Shaindel’s lunchroom for sheva brochos? I am sure they would be willing to accomodate YOU!

  78. alright pashute yid. ill do that asap. but i know the yankees are playing a lot of baseball now. but maybe the giant stadium will be available.

    freezer…bais shaindel may be to small for sheva brachos pashute yids planning on making this one a BIG one!!!

    deliberatelyesoetric… of course you are, and id love to see you by my vort a”h!

  79. I just so happened to speak to the head of customer relations in Yankee Stadium and he just needs to know the date that you are planning this event and he will see what he can do. He understands that there are a shortage of halls these days so he will see what he can do to help. By the way, Mazal Tov and may your family see much nachas from all of you

  80. to #110..that you keep on harping against the holy satmerer rebbe, also see post #99, that just reinforces all we’ve said about you, otherwise we dont see how this question (..if the satmerer rebbe ever thanked kastner…)comes into the discussion of this subject ..as to your request for rayous..seems you need to polish up on your reading comprehension..just on one point we will repeat you, keep on regergitating about gedolim making mistake to that we refuted also …the only opposing veiws to those gedolim that made mistake regarding the subject at hand,is you, the helige rah..bbi of berlin see post #96..so to sum up you say even the biggest godol can make a mistake as opposed to whom, you? so that whats we pointed out among other refutations

  81. to #103 mr pahshuteh yid..so you say (last pargraph) “THE ONLY THING OUR RELIGION HAS TO OFFER WHICH OTHERS DONT.IS SHALOM AND MENSCHLECHKEIT..” “the only thing..” “the only thing…”!!you know mir vaisen shoin nisht vos tzu zugen..”the ooonly thing”!!!you know mr pahuteh yid i am afraid you are a big platchige yid..mayby you join another religion and just take along just these 2 thing that our religion is different then other religions..

  82. to #110…mr rah…bonim of berlin…dont know what your crying about, those who we labled “apik..” we pointed the reason, with references..(their postings and gemmorahs as to why…)so like we said brush up on your reading comprehension..also your flattered that it took us SIX different postings to answer your little letter…glad to flatter you. The tam nister for SIX POSTS IS AS WE HIT THE WRONG BUTTON FEW TIMES AND DISSAPPEARED SO THOUGHT WAS ERASED SO PRINTED AGAIN (NEVER CLAIMED ME NOT KLOTZELE..also other reason mentioned in other posts..doing business online so cant always concentrate..)..so lets see ,you are comparing the machlokes of the holy tanes and rabbis, geon hageonim: rabon shimon ben gamliel and reb yehoshuah, rambam and raved, reb yoneson eibshitz and the yavetz, the holy hagroh and the ball shemtov, the mezriger maggid and the ball hatanyea TO THE MACHLOKES OF THE RAH..BBI OF BERLIN VS. PREVIOUS AND PRESENT HOLY GEDOLIM…ok, please excuse us, now got it straight…

  83. to #113..”miss the point” “taken out of contex” this IS standard swivling out of ones statements when pressed againat the wall. you did not refute what we said in #112 and you keep on coming with your klotz psehtlach and start cryig..we are calling you apikores, what should we say , you are ehliche yid.?.you say “THE ONLY THING OUR RELIGION HAS …” THEN YOU COME WITH… SEE ABOVE ..SAME WITH OTHER GUY, HE SAYS SUCH APIKORSISHE THINGS(and we gave reyous why) AND WHEN CAUGHT AND PUSHED AGAINST WALL, HE SAYS IT MEANS SOME THING DIFFERENT …STANDARD LEFTIST METHOD..SO PLEASE, HACKT NIT KAIN CHAINIK..YOU ARE THE SAME AS WEHN WE FIRST ENCOUNTERD YOU WHEN YOU WERE MEDAME DE EHLICHE YIDDEN TO TALIOBAN..AND WHEN WE CAUGHT YOU, YOU CAME WITH THE SAME KLOTZ PSHETEL” lets repeat , you said “THE ONLY THING our feligion has to offer which others dont is shalom and menshlichkeit” so please go fly a kite (now he’s going to start crying on this remark..)while were are on this subject,,you come with this holocoust , people lost emunah, we should talkin dfferently if want to be ,karev..blah blah..listen here, people who read this site wre born after the holocaust how about you? and if they are looking for excuse to go aginst the ribni shel olam..they can find 1000 other excuses.. NO. 2..when we come accross alost sheyfele we dont go over to him and say “waddah ya men you dant vear a kapel, how come de dont vear tzitzes etc, etc.. we have plenty guests in our house lost sheyfelech like dat, and ve dont need you advice how to show ahveh for our lst breaders (brethern in your languae) but you keep on forgeting what we mentioned many times and cant get through you thick apikorsishe skull (now the gloves are off)..this is a torah site for ehliche yidden etc etc and when you or those other guys cantor,berliner rebbe ,snisent, less chumres and some other posters who are nit “tinok shnishba” but mumer l’hachis..we talk differently..

  84. to #113 the more we read you “pshetel the more we see how your trying zeich arose tzu dreien fun eier apikorsishe verter….you saty “miss the point..” the point you said we didnt miss and now your swivling out of the original point after we caught you see#112 and make a new point so see..forget it

  85. to #74, mr cantor esq..you forgot to refer the readers to your postings on article “charedi weeklies..”may 3 ..EG: post #39 “..to maintain YOUR chareidi beliefs..” “..what is it about THOSE gedolim that you revere?”..(ulefu shehotzi atzmo min haklall hackay es shinov..) ” #24 “..how weak charedi ideals is.” etc ..so mr cantor esq we have plenty of proove as to your complains….”v’cholmasaycho b’sefer nictovim..” unless you can get together with moderator to erase ..but we have it printed soo

  86. to #121 an men hot nit vos kluks tzu tzurikzugen, darfmen reden narishkaiten…”gam evil ki mackhrish l’chchom yachosheif..” looks like you cant even do that..

  87. to #121 what is it about my rantings that bother you ,is it that “the truth hurts..”? but since you have YOUR views, which you adhere to so whats the problem..calling someone “apikores” isnt a dirty name , just describes what position or views one has.. when one is a “capatalist” or a “communist” and they are being described as such..is it insulting ?

  88. to #125..hillel hazoken wasnt api..but the guy who takes his words and applies it to where he thinks its applicable can be apikoires..the problem with you and the rest is they only want to know the first half of hillel but the other 1/2..”v’idech zil gemor ” they dont want to know..so please mr pashute yid..you have done that all along you take mamarei chazl and apply it where it good for your shita…reform or what ever used the mitzvoh of “ahavas yisroel” to further their.. etc, etc…please refer again to post #12..your “swirl” explanation wasnt accepted…

  89. to #122..mr pashuteh yid..
    we have to keep repeating what was mentioned other posts…can you tell us who we are m’vayesh? a faceless numbered post…? we pointed out exactly what makes him apikores..we pointed out exactly what you said (see #112) that makes you…and you keep recycling..al taneh k’sil k’uvalto…

  90. to #125..mr pashuteh yid..forgot to add asto elaborate on what you mentioned ..”hillel hazokon said..”there was a m’etapesh (aka. maskil) who came to the holy n’tzive’s city to darshen so didn’t let him, so the m’tapesh (aka maskil ) said “but will only qoute gemmores, not my own, so the n’tziv answered “kosher meat that is cooked in a treirfe pot beomes treif.”

  91. to #132..who and what your rebbes were or said,is not relevant ..are those rebbes who taught you to say such apikorses as “the ONLY THING THAT OUR RELIGION HAS TO OFFER…” (POST #103)..”we are not better that the taliban..” (way back in feb.(?) etc, etc so again fardreit nit kain kopp

  92. to #131 .in reference to that teitch of ” roidef sholem ..” we mentioned that we heard it ,not that its my own.. we think from the “degel machne efraim”. (grandson of ball shem hakodosh).we heard it many times in many different drosohs thruout the years…dont go to every ball darshon after every droshe to interrogate where he got ..but will look up, also you say “megale panim batorah..” you dont seem to know meaning.. see rashi shevuouth 13a, 4th line so again with your ignorance..so when all these darshonim gedolim say a drashe and teitch in posik even the litteral translation is different ,as long it not against halacha its not megaleh panim b’torah..se yoma 23a bottom tosfes bottom 1/2.. again all you guys when we catch you saying things against torah and we point out, all of a sudden your worried with the mitzvah of v’ahatfta l’reacha k’moche’, bais hamikdosh was..becase sina, hillel hazoken said “v’eiduch zil gemor…”etc these mitzvos were not put there for your convience so you can pull them out when suits you…

  93. Jent1150— first of all why do you keep referring to yourself as “WE”?!? Secondly I think some ppl including my self spend WAY TOO MUCH time on this site!!!

    lgbg —- MAZEL TOV!!!! maybe post your invitation for all of us here on YW!! 😉 cant wait for the sheva brachos but I can only attend if its in a kasher place and I dont hold of the yankee or giants hechserim!

  94. to #135 ..we think you should also polish up on your reading comprihension ..see post #117 second half… to #136..nobody is forcing anybody to spend time anywhere if he doesnt like it,unless its bitel torah ,dvorim b’teilim, then its assar..for US, mentioned, few times,have to be anyway..doing business online to #137..eir farshteit nit ….”es v’oheif b’sifa ..”..mentioned a few other sites..lets say, if we’d be hatzaleh or shomrim, and c’v we’d have a call to lets say cantor, pashateh yid, sini sent..we’d run with ahavah, terpidation..shabbos yom tov just like anybody else so its not hate ..again “yitamo chtoin v’lo chotim..”brochos 10a..(just using the term, not that we mean you or the other guys are chotim), but if we feel you spurth forth anti-torah views especially cantor, with HIS “hitorical truths” “these chareidui” etc etc,(one can feel his HATE for ehrliche yidden) which you didnt refute yet, see all postings all articles where there is chashad, and since this is public form and some may be influenced (shani minos d’usei lamcsichai basrei) so we think it should be addressed..and if anybdy out there can take over my pleasure but better we shouldnt have to..

  95. to #103 ..the “system” we use is derived from the heilige torah ( the religion that has only 2 things more to offer more than other religions (see your post #103 last paragraph, afre l’pima, your swirl out explanation wasn’t accepted..)..as opposed to your system that is a mismash of influence from de shmutzige gass newspapers, goyishe shmutz magazines. and some torah which is brewed together and gets your haskafah results..

  96. to #125 mr pahateh yid, and other posts where they keep bringing this memreh to suit their views….you keep on refering to the memreh of hillel hazoken “d’aloch sune l’chavroch lo saseh… zil gemor” you say you love to learn as you understood thats what hillel ment(to point out how you observe the “zil gemor)..if you’d see rashi shabbos 31a you see pshat is completley different then you and the other guys say pshat in this memreh..rashi says l’chavroch lo saseh refers to the riboni shal oilom,you should not do what “HE” doesnt like, v’eidoch, the rest of the torah zil gemor go to learn asyou should know what to do or not to do (what is dovor hasunoi for him)so this is when you take a hand teitch it to suit YOUR haskafahe and is mehepech the real pshat

  97. to
    # 141 in meantime we have just counted 5-6 (outright) so just a table with mechitze would suffice…to #142 please elaborate so we can correct..

  98. ok e/o i think this a first that e/o is still talking so much on something that was posted over a week ago –so lets keep it up —cant wait to tell u about my simcha(e/o now is the time you can give me brachos- i take them all-not fussy

  99. shkoyach,
    thanks for the idea ill think about it….lol
    the yankees have a game scheduled for that day so if you have any other ideas maybe let pashute yid know.

  100. pashute yid, willi, shkoyach… and anyone else being involoved in my sheva brachos:

    first thank you.

    as i mentioned before yankees stadium is unavailable so count that out.and the giants i think start playing already that time. maybe should just do a tent, like what BMG did last night.
    and another thing no machlokes please! and i dont think that many people are coming. so 6 stadiums just may be to big. and pashute yid thats a lot of cholent to be sponsering!

  101. to # 148..so why are you answering? did you ever go into a bais hamedrish? did you see them “fighing”? bocherinm, balai batim yelling at each other (there is this story of a ball tsuvah the first time he went to bais medrish he wanted to call the “riot control police”) so please this is pilpul as v’oheive besifo..”

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