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Opinion: Let’s Put Things in Perspective


yweFor anyone over 50 much of what is about to be said is most likely obvious. It has been evident for some time that the values of yesteryear are gone, possibly forever. There was a time when chinuch was the supreme value, as frum Jews have regard for talmidei chachamim and rabbinical leaders. A person with a masters or doctorate earned respect, even one in the secular community, for education was synonymous with a certain caliber of person.

Unfortunately, outside of the frum world values have shifted. Sadly, the frum world has been impacted too. Today, many inculcate children with a different value system, one that regards wealth and power as envious traits, leaving education and dignity to the dusty shelves of the last generation’s museums.

Often I jokingly tell the children and grandchildren “In my day, if you had a mouse on your table you called the exterminator. If one had a blue tooth one called the dentist and social networking meant going to the park on Shabbos and meeting friends.” Today there is a new vocabulary, new values and new acceptable norms, with the latter not necessarily being better.

The point here is perhaps to point out that as a result of living in a world that has embraced the new value system, our neshamos’ central nervous system may have been numbed to certain external stimulus that has left us incapable of responding. In truth, we may maintain the capability to respond appropriately but perhaps, more worrisome, is the reality that our sensors seem to have lost their early warning capabilities.

One example may be the last week or so. We begin with Israel’s finance minister, Yair Lapid, who claim to fame is his disdain and absolute disgust with a Torah lifestyle. The man, who is a senior cabinet minister, publically announces the Chief Rabbis of Israel are not suited to hold their position and he will personally see to it that they are ousted from office. Truth by said, when an am ha’aretz the caliber of Lapid speaks it should not demand a response, but in this case, he is a representative of the Government of Israel. Now let’s take another recent example, one in which Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon insulted US Secretary of State John Kerry. In the latter case, the shouts demanding an apology and expressing outrage at the senior cabinet minister’s words were audible around the globe. Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu was quick to distance himself from the remarks, reassuring the White House that Israel remains committed to the suicide process that is referred to as “the peace process with the PA”.

Yes, there are differences between the two cases cited, but there are a sufficient number of similarities to make the point. It has stopped being about right and wrong, and it is now about playing the game correctly. One might ask why the prime minister did not come out and express outrage at a senior member of his cabinet who launched an unprecedented verbal assault on the state’s chief rabbis. The answer is quite simple. For one thing, he doesn’t care for he too does not hold talmidei chachamim in regard. In addition, he needs Lapid so the kovod of talmidei chachamim can absorb the insult while he busies himself with running the nation.

One might ask oneself what the response would have been had Lapid called to oust the pope, or the Mufti of Jerusalem. I think it is fair to say those words would have elicited a different response.

Martin Reisman, Israel

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8 Responses

  1. Today, many inculcate children with a different value system, one that regards wealth and power as envious traits, leaving education and dignity to the dusty shelves of the last generation’s museums.

    It is not the children who have the different value system sad to say , it us the adults who are the problem.
    years ago weather a parent could or could not afford to send there child to yeshiva , the yeshiva took the child in.
    weather the child came from a non religious home , he was taken in since when a child gets a good Jewish education we continue to survive.
    however today it is not like that. parents who can’t afford to pay tuition are told go raise the money or we will not take your children in and if we are nice enough to take your kids in if you fall behind in tuition we will embarrass you and your children.
    a child from a non religious home is not excepted in our schools.
    however when it comes to money all the rules go out the window and whoever has the money makes the rules.
    OUR KIDS SEE ALL THIS AND THEY ACT ACCORDINGLY.

  2. Agreed. But our yeshivos play a role as well. Open up any of the Jewish newspapers… when it comes to honorees at dinners, is it the talmid chochom who gets honored? Unlikely. It’s the folks with the large bank account.
    = =
    Pesach programs. How many thousands of yeshiva kids go to hotels for Pesach after their parents drop thousands of $$? And we’re not even talking about all of the outfits our wives and daughters “need” because chas v’shalom they should be seen twice in the same clothing!

    The RS”O gave the “nisayon” of relative wealth. HE is testing us to see what we are doing with the wealth he bestowed on us.

    I think we are failing ourselves, our children and primarily our children.

  3. With all due respect ,you got it ALL wrong.I sent all my girls to a frum girls school.I paid FULL tuition and more when the school was in need for more.Over nigh my business had a temporary set back,I called the school to inform them of the temporary set back. I requested that until the set back gets resolved I would like to PAY THE SAME AMOUNT AS THE PREVIOUS YEAR and as soon as the set back to my business gets resolved I will PAY THE short fall .The school said fine,EVERY MONTH I MADE THE TUITION PAYMENT(last year amount). About three months after I was only paying last year amount ,the principal of the school came into my daughter’s classroom to give the report card ,MY DAUGHTER WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DID NOT GET HER REPORT CARD.My daughter raised her hand and told the principal that’ she did NOT get her report card ‘,the principal told my daughter ‘tell your father to call me”. My daughter started to cry ,and the principal walked out of the class room.My daughter told me that on the way home from school some girls were making fun of her because she did NOT get her report card.

  4. @Verizon49: So sorry to hear about your daughter’s horrible experience with her principal. This is why many yeshivos mail the report cards to the homes and are not given in the classroom.

    I usually don’t agree with many posters on YWN, but I agree with everyone who has posted so far.

    I have a friend who pulled her two younger daughters out of yeshiva put them in a Charter School because she can’t afford the tuition. Next September, the oldest will attend the same Charter School as her sisters.

    On so many levels I am disturbed by this new “fad”. I attended a simcha and met a woman who told me that she also pulled her kid out of yeshiva because of the tuition. An epidimic of unbelievable proportion.

  5. Verizon49:

    You might agree with the following comment. Others will likely see it as accusatory, deny it, or consider me one of our generation’s greatest rebels.

    While our yeshivos profess to be the carriers and imparters of Torah education, that is the least of their missions. Their main one is to run a business, and make the greatest profit out of it. Profit might include finances, but is also the image of the yeshiva and the reputations (kavod) of their senior leadership.

    Now, I know that is a nasty thing to say, but I challenge everyone out there who is sickened by this statement to examine as many yeshivos as they can. Then return to report their findings.

    Money is given priority over the dignity of the child any day. It behooves the mind of any truly Torah committed Jew to allow a child to be subjected to any level or form of rejection just because the parents are undergoing financial hardship. Every weapon possible has been used to extract money from struggling parents. Include throwing kids out of school altogether, suspensions, denying them report cards, public shaming, neglecting them when they become victims of bullies (including mechanchim and peers), etc. I have personal testimony to these crimes, and more. Things have improved in our chinuch system in many areas. But when it comes to money, there has been massive rejection of any statements to the contrary by rabbonim, even Gedolei Yisroel.

    Public schools have large crowds of kids from frum, mainstream families. Many can be expected to not return to shmiras Torah umitzvos, and of this group, many are at serious risk of intermarriage. This can cost generations of neshamos to Klal Yisroel. I dare to accuse our yeshivos and schools as having put them there, either because they failed to provide proper discipline, failure to meet their educational and social needs, or simple greed.

    No, I’m not the wise guy that knows how to balance their budgets. But they claim to be the wise guys who can control who stays frum in the next generation. That is a travesty, and should be unacceptable to anyone who claims to represent Torah education.

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