The letter by Usher Piller posted on YWN concerning unholy alliances between many chevra kadishas and some unscrupulous funeral homes certainly cries out for our corrective action. But although Piller means well, he falls woefully short in arming your readers with the practical advice they desperately need on HOW TO RESIST the despicable tactics used by some chevra kadishas. I will attempt to fill that void here.
First, if R”l a family member passes away, do NOT call the chevra kadisha first. Rather, call the funeral home first to transport the niftar to the funeral home. THEN call the chevra kadisha. You have much more leverage when the niftar is already located in the funeral home of your choice.
If the niftar belonged to a “heimishe” kehilah in Boro Park or Williamsburg, chances are the chevra kadisha representative will INSIST that you use their “recommended” funeral home, one that usually costs signif icantly more than the competition. If you demur, he will threaten to not issue the permit necessary for burial. He may also plead with you to have rachmonos on him, saying the chevra kadisha cannot violate the “contract” it has with the funeral home or there will be terrible consequences. Furthermore, he may claim that annual notices have been sent by the chevra kadisha regarding their “takanah” to use only their preferred funeral home.
If you still resist, he will suggest a “compromise,” namely that you “only do the Tahara” at the “recommended” facility but the services could still be conducted at your facility of choice. If you bite the bait of this “compromise,” here’s what’ll happen next: The “recommended” funeral home will transport the niftar to its own facility and then bill you on the basis of their inflated funeral costs for all the services PLUS the rental of your desired funeral home for conducting the services.
WHAT TO DO: Firmly inform the chevra kadisha representative that the Halacha (Rema Yore De’ah 371:4) strictly forbids moving a niftar even for the purpose of allowing a Kohein to be able to enter his own house! In other words, we force the Kohein to find a hotel or be homeless rather than be mevazeh the niftar by moving him for any purpose other than for his own benefit. Tell him also the law of the land (Dinah D’Malchusa Dinah), in NYS Insurance Law Article 32, Section 3208(d) strictly forbids any contracts whatsoever between burial societies and funeral homes and that the Law also states it is illegal to in any way to deprive a family of the advantage of competition in funeral services.
Often, even with all that, he may still threaten not to issue the burial permit! Remember, it’s a war of nerves here, and you’re at a terrible disadvantage, having just lost your loved one only a few hours ago! But be strong and stand up for your rights, for you also get the mitzvah of finally doing som ething to break the disgraceful cartel of unscrupulous chevra kadishas and funeral homes that forces the poor people in our community to spend needless thousands for funeral expenses. (See Micha 3:1-4.)
WHAT TO DO: Tell the chevra kadisha guy in no uncertain terms that the funeral home you chose is taking the niftar to the cemetery, no matter what. If he doesn’t issue the permit the entire funeral party will remain with the casket on the cemetery until the niftar is finally buried, even if it’s necessary to spend the entire night there! And of course, tell him you will notify WCBS, WINS and the NY Post. And be ready to do so.
You will most certainly persevere. Because they are craven cowards. They know they violate Halacha. They know they violate civil law. They know they cause much pain to suffering families in the worst time of their lives. But, to be melamed z’chus, the lure of the Dollar makes it too difficult for them to refrain from their repre hensible behavior. So help them do Teshuva!
Sincerely,
Zev Adelson
Upper Manhattan
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.
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10 Responses
Keep up the pressure. Well done. This travesty needs to be halted.
Lets have some real dollar amounts instead of a vague “significantly more”
To mms601 and to the other “chevra kadisha” poster.
I happened to have seen the bill from the chevra Kadisha in boro park for a friends father.
This was for a levaye, that went to Israel.
The “Tehara” was done by volunters, and the ticket to Israel was otherwise paid, and there was no burial in NY.
The Price? $5,000 !!
I could have had a sheva broches for that amount!
WHy do we allow such gauging?
I tell you; i cant comment on the “emes” but it sure as h*** was no chesed.
Not everything which seems excessive to you is price gouging. This levaya required a funeral chapel to have someone on call 24/7, probably used the building for a service, for which the rooms needed to be heated or air-conditioned and cleaned. The tahara room was also cleaned and prepared etc. And there is no guarantee that every day will be a busy one for the funeral chapel.
I have sometimes helped families arrange levayos where there is no proper funeral chapel, it was hard work, not fun, and still not cheap.
I also no that many not-for-profit chevra kadishas feel entitled to ripping off people. They say “We worked so hard for our kehilla all the years, and these people did not pay membership, its about time we got from them the money they should have been giving the kehila when they were alive.” I am not saying they are right, but I think it is part of a conflict between kehila-member/contributors and the unaffiliated. And many fine frum yiden are not affiliated with a kehila with its own chevra kadisha, cemetery, etc.
to # 3, very intresting that you think you know how to read a funeral bill. who paid for the airline, they dont take personel checks? how about the consulate? how about the shipping container? How about tachrichim? how about the local health dept. permit? how about filing for a death certificate? how about funeral directors fee? how about arrangements? How about overhead? How about all the people that dont have money and the funeral home make leveyes for no charge at all, you think you know everything beacause you saw a funeral bill. i would like to know in what kind of business you are, if you also work for free.these people give away thier life to help people, and you have the nerve to badmouth them?! you should be ashamed of yourself
As a “Volunteer CK member” I will respond to some points.
1)The writer quotes “Halacha (Rema Yore De’ah 371:4) strictly forbids moving a niftar even for the purpose of allowing a Kohein to be able to enter his own house”
Is not true, the Rema says one can’t “force” the nifters family to move the nifter for Kohenim, unless the kohen is unwell, but does not say anything close to the writers point.
2)If you have the property deed, you can show up at the cemetery with a funeral director of your choice, but if you’re only a member in a society or buying the plot from them, one must follow the rules and regulations, including Thara by society CK members, tachrechim, casket etc. You can’t force the CK to come to your place of choice, as many have supplies in other places. If you find it cheaper or better for you to do the Thara in one place and funeral at another, so be it & I don’t think anyone will stop you from doing so.
3) “inflated funeral costs” is untrue, as each funeral home must file a price list with the state each and every time they decide to change it, and can be held accountable by the state for overpricing.
4) The $5,000 cost, can make very much sense, since the cost factors may well include extra Shmera hours, airfare (not the tickets the for family), all standerd charges in the US, and Israeli charges as well, pick up from the plane to the cemetery, grave opening in israel, foundation and perpetual care.
PS I never made a dollar from being a volunteer, but did incur expenses and gave up endless hours from my time for others.
—
Shlomie Feldman
To #3,
You make various points.
1) reading the bill. Start with an insult. Yes i am able to read English and if the numbers are in a straight line i can usually understand them, especially since the spelling was accurate, as opposed to your opening sentence. (interesting NOT intresting) .
2) Airline; i recommend you read my statement before commenting on it. i clearly wrote the tickets were paid.
3) Personal checks; how is that relevant? Please make relative arguments. And personally check your spelling.
4) Tachrichim. How much can a cotton shirt and pants without pockets or anything cost? $100? $200 I can get a regular suit for that price.
5) Permit? Non needed and was not on the itemized bill.
6) Funeral director? Really? directing what?
7) Arrangements? no arrangements needed. We arrived, we left. The Tehara is a normal procedure.
8) Overhead? A sheva broches hall also has overhead. They at least serve supper for that price.
9) The rest of your comments; Just full of useless insults. People who have bad arguments usually resort to insults.
10) Give away their life to help people? At these prices?
Apparently you have a vested interest in this field. i wonder how much money you make on it.
Let me repeat and recap my previous argument;
One AFTERNOON, NO AIRPLANE TICKETS NO TEHARA PEOPLE JUST THE USE OF THE FACILITY AND THE TACHRICHIM. NOTHING NOTHING ELSE! NOTHING IN ISRAEL, AND JUST THE WOODEN CASKET (the shipping casket was paid by the Israeli arrangements) and the owners in their office. FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS !!!
To #6
CK people are wonderful people and i kno wthey give of their time. Thank you.
But i’m talking about the non-chesed shel emes of boro park. Yes $5,000. No airfare, no extra shmira, no plane to cemetery, no grave opening and no foundation or perpetual care. Just the use of the facility for a few hours and tachrichim and a wooden box. Their giving you a bad name.
To all those concerned about the relationship between chapels and chevros
Please be advised of the following facts:
1.As per New York State LAW, cemeteries are the only entities permitted to sell graves.
2.Those organizations that purchase graves may, at their own discretion, sell rights of burial to their members ONLY.
3.Organizations are permitted to set rules for burials in their respective cemetery parcels and the members are bound by these rules.
4.Organizations may arrange for special considerations, financial or otherwise, to be given to their members from chapels and other chapels are not bound by these arrangements.
5. Organizations are not permitted to force families to engage or contract for a funeral with a participating chapel.
6.Organizations have a moral, if not legal, responsibility to inform members of any financial benefit gained by engaging a participating chapel for the funeral.
7.Organizations must, as per LAW, pay any chapel the same amount of money being paid by the organization to a participating chapel for the purchase of burial benefits provided to members.This to include, but not limited to, a coffin, a shroud, funeral vehicles, tahara, use of chapel for hespaidim, tahara room, mikveh, sh’mira, etc.
8. Member’s families are responsible to pay their selected chapel any difference, if any, in the prices charged to the organization.
9.Organizations can not withhold rights of burial if a family chooses to contract with a non participating chapel.
10.Families have every right in the world to institute an action against a chapel, organization or their respective representatives if they think they were mistreated or misled.
11.Many families have been unfortunately misled by seemingly fine people costing untold thousands of dollars.
Please be advised of the following suggestions:
1.Representatives of chapels and any organizations should not be waiting at, nor even near, the bedside of a possible niftar unless specifically sought out and requested by the family.
2.The first call should logically be made to the organization to inquire about available benefits and the cost of using their participating chapel. They should know all the prices.
3.The second call should be to the chapel(s) of your choice, if any, to compare prices with the participating chapel including any extra cost for the organizational burial benefits.
4.The chapel, selected by the family, should or will contact the organization to arrange for the tahara that the organization requires as well as obtaining the burial permit for the cemetery.
5.Bikur Cholim organizations and Hatzolah that attend to families at home, hospitals or nursing facilities should prepare and distribute the names, addresses and telephone numbers of all chapels, specifically those that are owned and operated by frum families, ie: (in alphabetical order; Kehila Chapels -718-332-3311 owned by Jacobson Family-Brooklyn: Shomrei Hadas Chapel – 718-436-8700- owned by Seidenfeld Family-Brooklyn: Shomrei Hachomos Chapel 718-435-8100 owned by Friedman Family-Chicago: Yereim Chapel 718-384-6784 owned by Brach Family-Brooklyn).
6.Families should insist that they make their own telephone calls to the chapel and not permit anyone else to “help”.
7.Members or representatives of a chevra kadisha should not be permitted in hospitals unless called by a family nor should they also be a member of Haztolah. This is distasteful and inappropriate.
8.The general public should contact hospitals to convey their concerns regarding any “chevra kadisha groups they permit or tolerate to roam in their buildings awaiting an opportunity to direct or steer business to their favorite chapel. It is clear that their “chesed” is only self serving since all else is really equal.
A few more facts.
These regarding chapels, since comments should be researched, well thought out and not based on lack of information.
Common sense dictates that a chapel, like any business has an overhead to maintain its operations and facilities. In all likelihood they are more than most businesses considering the risks, the amount of pedestrian traffic, its major internal machinery and round the clock operations.
They must be:
1. Rent or Mortgage of a large facility
2. Maintenance
3. Building repairs and renovations
4. Building insurance
5. Building taxes
6. Utilities to include water, telephone, gas and electric
7. Computer purchases, maintenance and upgrades
8. Office supplies and printing
9. Licensing
10.Professional fees, ie: accounting and legal
11.Multiple vehicle purchases and payments
12.Vehicle insurance
13.Vehicle repairs and storage
14.Sanitation paper supplies
15.Professional Insurance
16.Operational Inventory losses
17.Salaries for:
Licensed Funeral Directors
Office staff
Drivers
Maintenance
Overnight staff
18.Social Security, Disability and Workmen Compensation
19.Subcontractors (removals, cemetery sign-ins)
20.24 hour runners to the Department of Health
21.Furniture repair and replacement
22.Refrigeration, back up and maintenance
23.Heating Fuel Oil
24.Vehicle oil & gasoline
25.Employee medical, as mandated
26.Advertising
17.Donations
Critics should consider these enormous overhead expenses which somehow is divided amongst all the customers in any given year before they criticize. Without my supporting any chapel’s price list there must be more to this than just their being crooks.
I am sure I’ve missed many items and this before the cost of Coffins, Shrouds and tahara supplies. On top of all of this, families are also paying for the cost of grave opening, permits, tolls, tips, shomerim, and possibly a Rabbi which are expenses other than that charged by the chapel which adds to the bill.
Lastly, the owner(s), you may or may not agree, should also be entitled to a salary and profit on their investment.
Lastly, we should all approch this difficult situation and our comments with a little derech eretz. Otherwise this problem will never be repaired.
When the niftar is sent to Israel, the Israeli chevra kadisha does the Tahara. They do this even if a Tahara was already done. There is never a problem with doing a Tahara in Israel, so there is no point to do one here. You’ll probably just wind up paying for it twice.