Let’s realize something important. Very often, the pressure of being in Eretz Yisroel during a tense time is not as overwhelming as we imagine from afar.People adapt. There is routine. There is resilience. There is a powerful sense of achdus.
Yes, there are moments that are frightening. There are sirens. There is uncertainty. But daily life often continues more steadily than we picture.
When we call in a panic every two minutes, we unintentionally send a message: “You should be scared. I’m scared.”
That does not help them.
Even adult children take emotional cues from their parents. If they hear tension in our voice, if they sense we are unraveling, their burden becomes heavier. Now they are not only managing their own experience they are managing ours.
Even when said with love, these kinds of messages can increase anxiety:
“What’s happening now? Is it safe? Are you in a shelter?” “I can’t sleep. I’m so nervous.” “I’m trying to find flights to get you out immediately.” “This is so terrible. I can’t believe this is happening.”
And if you spoke to your child once every two days before this, do not suddenly begin calling every hour. The change itself communicates panic. Over-obsessing about tickets, evacuation plans, or worst case scenarios – especially if it won’t realistically help – creates more anxiety. And anxiety feeds anxiety. It multiplies.
Our role is to be the steady voice. Even if we are nervous – and of course we are – we must sound calm. We must project confidence. We must remind them consistently: Hashem runs the world.
Say things like “You sound strong. I’m so proud of how you’re handling this.”
“I can’t believe how positive and brave you’re being.”
“Baruch Hashem, people are resilient. This too will pass.”
“We’re davening for you and for all of Klal Yisroel.”
“It sounds like things may be calming down soon.”
Even when you’re unsure, if you don’t have verified information, don’t share rumors. If you’re not sure, don’t say it. Uncertainty expressed dramatically increases fear.
This is not about pretending nothing is happening. It’s about emotional responsibility. Our children must feel we trust their judgment and we trust the Ribbono Shel Olam. We are not falling apart.
If they hear steadiness in our voice, it strengthens them. If they hear panic, it weakens them. Sometimes the greatest act of love is self-control.
Our children in Eretz Yisroel are often surrounded by strength – neighbors helping neighbors, communities rallying, people going about their lives. Let’s not import anxiety from across the ocean.
The Brisker Rav, Rabbi Yitzchak Zev Soloveitchik, lived through war and upheaval, and his response was neither denial nor panic. It was clarity.
He believed in responsible hishtadlus: when there is danger, you take proper precautions and follow instructions carefully. But beyond what halacha requires, hysteria is not avodas Hashem. Fear may be natural, but losing composure reflects a lack of perspective.
He would often point to the Rambam’s teaching that events are not random; they are Hashgacha. If Hashem decrees life, no one can harm you. If He decrees otherwise, no one can prevent it. That clarity does not remove responsibility it removes panic.
In practice, the Brisker Rav modeled emotional discipline. During crisis he strengthened Torah, intensified tefillah, and maintained his routine. He did not allow imagination to run ahead of reality.
The message is powerful for us, especially when facing war in Israel: take precautions, act wisely, but speak calmly. Courage is not loud; it is quiet steadiness rooted in emunah. When we internalize that Hashem alone runs the world, fear shrinks not because danger disappears, but because illusion does.
It is natural to worry. It is natural to want to fix things. It is natural to feel helpless when your child is far away during a war. But our job right now is not to control the situation. It is to control our tone. Calm is contagious. Emuna Is contagious. Confidence is contagious. Let’s make sure those are what we are spreading.
May Hashem protect all of Klal Yisroel and bring safety, yeshuah, and lasting sholom very soon.
Signed,
A yid
The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.
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One Response
And maybe for once the readers/screamers should stop bashing the Army that is protecting them at the cost of their lives. Maybe think for one 1/2 second that this disgusting behavior of rioting and hafganot and protests makes Hashem say what you don’t want to hear. If you see a male or female Chayal, bow your head and Thank you.