Funny Shidduch Stories

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Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 1,410 total)
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  • #1226184

    myshadow
    Member

    oomis ew I’m grossed out.

    #1226185

    oomis
    Participant

    Oy Mchemtob! It could always have been worse.

    I think these stories are great. Look at how it brings a smile to our faces, even years later!

    #1226186

    gg18
    Member

    how abt the time a fellow comes to his date too early so he parks around the corner. he was really tired so he stretched out on the back seat for a little snooz. Suddenly, he wakes up and looks around and cant figure out for the life of his where he is. he just notices tonz of cars all over until he chapps he’s in the pound!! (thats where the police dept leaves towed cars). he gets out of the car, takes another while till he gets over to the guys in charge who DONT CARE that he has a date waiting for him and makes him go thru all the red tape till he got the car outa’ there. understandably, he arrived very late to his date. apologizing, he told her the whole story and till today they have a good laugh abt it!

    #1226187

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    oomis- do I understand correctly? did he keep the reptile in the bathroom?? And he was caring for it in that 10, 20, 30 minute time span that he was gone…. ???

    You gave an excellent description of the guy. Sounds just like…

    #1226188

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    I’ve wondered about the following:

    some genius sets up a tall person with a short person — the difference being more than 6 inches (maybe everything else was a perfect match?). Being the tall one, and your stride is much longer, should you slow down your pace or should the shorter one try to “double-time” to keep up with the taller one?

    #1226189

    gg18
    Member

    no fair! whatever it is, u gotta be considerate to shorties!

    #1226190

    dunno
    Member

    mayan_dvash: definitely slow down. you would make the girl run in heels?? think of her poor feet!

    #1226191

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    slow your pace- I know from experience (not my own)

    #1226192

    beacon
    Participant

    areivim- I’m sure I’m not the first or the last to have a shoe incident…

    oomis- Lol what a wacko

    #1226193

    mchemtob
    Member

    mayan: just slow down a little…my husband is 6″2 and sometimes i feel like i need sneakers to keep up with him. I don’t mind if he’s a bit faster but when I might as well be walking alone…then I might as well be walking alone…get it.

    #1226194

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    Mayan_Dvash: slow your pace!!! ya don’t want her to run in heels!!!

    #1226195

    Oomis: haha that sounded torturous!!!!!

    Sjs and areivem:ur comments made me crack up!!

    #1226196

    believer
    Participant

    someone went on a date to a restaurant. he sits down. a few minutes later he sees that his zipper is open. hes sooo happy that his girl didnt see.

    the date went along very nicely. appx half an hour later, they get up to leave and the whole table cloth goes along with him!!!!! the tablecloth got stuck in his zipper!!!

    #1226197

    BasYisroel2
    Participant

    -My friend’s date came a day early and he arrived when she was busy jogging/walking with her friends-he had to wait 45 min for her to get ready-they did get married!

    -My cousin went on a date with a girl who was very nervous.She kept on twisting and playing with a button till it came off.A car hit their bumper and the girl swallowed the button.My cousin spent the rest of his date in the ER!

    -A boy took a girl out to eat in a resturaunt his belt got caught on the table cloth so when he stood up he took all the dishes,cutlery, and glasses with him lol!

    #1226199

    oomis
    Participant

    Forunately, AreivimZLZ, you did NOT get it. No, he did not bring a reptile along. I just cannot bring myself to try to make it clearer. Sorry.

    I am sure everyone of us knows a guy that fits my description. He wasn’t a BAD guy, just very strange.

    #1226200

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    hmm, so it’s unanimous: the taller one (whether it’s the guy or girl) should slow down.

    #1226201

    Wow- keep it up! These jokes are great!!

    #1226202

    mosherose
    Member

    I went out on a date with a girl who insisted that I not look at her. It was the oddest thing. Apparently in her mind I was suppose to keep my head down the entire time. It was surreal. Neadless to say, there was no second date. I wonder if she ever had a 2nd date with anyone?

    #1226203

    Bais Yaakov maydel
    Participant

    i know someone that was on a date, and when she got into the guys car, she realized he wasnt for her after a few minutes. She lives out of town, so she was telling him how to get wherever he wanted to take her in that area, so what she did was say, left her for a few blocks….another left for a few blocks…another left….they basically ended up in a circle and by her house–she tols him sorry i dont think itll work out and got out.

    #1226204

    I’m cracking up from all these stories!!!!

    Bais…: hazeet (nebach) the guy!!

    #1226205

    Bais Yaakov maydel
    Participant

    i know what hazeet is lol got a lotta syrian friends.

    and this one is even funnier it happened to my sister the guy took her to the wax museum and they decided to do the mini haunted house they have there. so my sisters like sure why not im not a lil kid anymore i wont be scared…

    theyre walking and its nice and scary but in a kiddy kind of way until they get to a tiny room enough to hold maybe 5 ppl seriously and theres a wax figure standing there.

    my sister goes right up to it, inches away, and says, wow it looks so real!!

    well, it was real, and the guy jumoed out at her and without even thinking, she grabbed her date and just held on for a few seconds…he was shocked for a few seconds until my sister realized what she was doing and pushed him away…..they had a good laugh over that…

    and they lived happily ever after 🙂

    my brother-in-law now jokes that thats when he knew she was the one lol

    #1226206

    Bais….: lol I had to write nebach bc everyone yells at me that they don’t understand what it means…

    That hysterical!!!!!! And cute!!!!!!!

    #1226207

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    Bais Yaakov maydel: ha!!! hilarious!!! good one!!!

    #1226208

    oomis
    Participant

    B”Y Maydel, THAT was a great story. I love the wax museum.

    Re: the tall guy shorter girl – GUYS, PLEASE walk more slowly. I remember a date with a guy who was 6’2″, I am a full foot shorter. By the time we walked to and fromt he car, I was breathless, and it wasn’t with anticipation. I could barely keep up with the guy. If you think it’s not such a big deal. think of walking with an elderly person, who likewise cannot keep up with you. Wouldn’t you slow down for that person?

    #1226209

    Joseph
    Participant

    The best ones, are the true ones.

    #1226210

    Bais Yaakov maydel
    Participant

    lol im practically fluent in arabic…no im just kidding but i catch phrases from one of my friends who legit speaks arabic…its interesting lol

    #1226211

    whatshaiches
    Member

    Have a great one for you guys. I heard this story from a friend of who it happened to. On the way home from a date, the boy says to the girl, if she doesn’t mind, can they pull over for a few minutes so he can close his eyes. He said he was travelling all day and was really tired and just needed a few minutes. She said no problem, I will wake you up in 5-10 minutes. They both woke up at around 5 or 6 am…

    Not sure if they ever got married or not, but that’s a great story to share with your kids.

    #1226212

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    lol, whatshaiches, tha’s priceless!

    #1226213

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    whatshaiches: ha crazy one there!!!

    #1226214

    Joseph
    Participant

    whatshaiches, I’m not to enamored over that story…

    #1226215

    moish01
    Member

    yeah that one sounds a little risque

    #1226216

    heimesheyid
    Member

    These stories are really funny, but I they would never happen in our circles. We have very traditional dating, boy comes to pick up the girl and they go to a hotel lounge. Sit there, walk around, buy a drink, and go home. We dont go out to eat or to the sky ride etc…so the best story I can tell is when my sister left her gloves in her dates car. she realized as soon as she got home, and was really ashamed. The next day we found it in the mailbox.

    #1226217

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    A few minutes into our first date we sat down on a park bench to drink sodas. I opened mine and said, “look I won a free soda”. “No”, She exclaimed, “we won a free soda”.

    #1226219

    I have my doubts about that one whatshaiches… and the one with the zipper- that story has been going around for years….

    #1226220

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    oomis, for some reason, I don’t think it’s a smart idea to have the tall person think they’re on a date with someone ‘elderly’ 😉

    #1226221

    myshadow
    Member

    BYM omg I’m hysterically rolling I just told my whole office your story!!

    #1226222

    kiruvwife
    Member

    mosherose-sorry you had to experience that, but I laughed so hard that it brought on tears.

    #1226223

    heimesheyid
    Member

    Another story my sister had was she met a boy and she thought he was learning in a BMG while he was really in small yeshiva near NJ. So she asked him, How many guys are in the yeshiva like 5,000?” so he looked at her confused and he said “not really, more like 50..” they had a whole mixed up conversation unitl she finally said, “arn’t u in BMG?”, and he burst out laughing…

    #1226224

    smartcookie
    Member

    Hysterical. Im really enjoying this thread. Calm, relaxing, happy, and no arguing for a change.

    #1226225

    InShidduchim
    Member

    I love this thread! People really have such ridiculous and great stories! I didn’t have to date much, so i dont have such great stories, but stil… i love reading them and hearing them! they make my day sooo entertaining! keep them coming!!

    #1226226

    Jewess
    Member

    I wonder if some of these stories get distorted.

    Bais Yaakov maidel – do you really know that girl that had the guy drive her home because that happened to me…except the guy was from out of town, not me. Do I know you?

    #1226227

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    oh wow- what outlandish insane experiences. all i gotta say is: tiz a good thing they didn’t happen to me! It’s a real test of character

    #1226228

    rik
    Member

    A few more stories:

    My mother was on a first date (way back before she met my father)and the guy took her to look at rings! She said no after that date.

    A date was taking me to the airport to catch a flight and his car overheated right at the entrance to the airport. A nice heimish yid realized what was going on and offered his assistance. It was embarrassing and no I didn’t marry the guy.

    And speaking of heels getting stuck in the grates- On a date in Manhattan I kept walking on the edge of the sidewalk so that my shoes shouldn’t get stuck in the grates and I mentioned something like ” I don’t like walking on those” when I came home I realized how that came out sounding like, Mommy I’m scared! Well, he married me anyway.

    #1226229

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    HAHA okay, i just heard a new one.

    this girl goes out on a first date, the guy, who’s been dating seriously for about a year, takes her to a hotel lobby.

    after sitting down somewhere comfortable, he excuses himself to go to the bathroom…and while she’s waiting, a lady hotel employee rushes over to her and whispers “Honey, don’t trust this one. he comes in here with a different girl every time!!!!”

    hee hee, funny to look at shidduch-dating from outsiders view!

    #1226230

    itsprivate
    Member

    my friend was once on a date and the guy broke his glass while drinking! and this old harr guy sitting right near them in a meeting,,,, said without batting an eyelash….. Mazel tov!! and it was only their 2nd date…

    #1226231

    ok, so after dating close to 100 guys, this is the best I’ve had…it was actually fun. Guy comes late to the date saying that he had car trouble on the way. We offer him to drive one of our cars, but he insists that his car is in good shape.

    We start driving and once we’re on the highway, the car starts to smoke. I try to play cool knowing that the hotel was just another 1/2 mile away. At the hotel, he stops the car and asks me to get out and stand at least 3 car lenghts away from the car because he knows his car will smoke terribly when he shuts the motor (I thought he was joking, but it was really true).

    I tried to have a pleasant time in the hotel, and once the date was over, we went to the dreaded car. We’re driving again on the highway and the car starts smoking again, so i asked him if we should pull over and call AAA. He said – nah, we’ll probably make it.

    Then the car starts really smoking – like billowing smoke out of a coal factory. Other cars were honking at us and pointing in our direction to pull over. At this point, I asked him to pull over. I also offered to call AAA and my father to pick us up. I gotta give him credit – he was pretty chilled the whole time. So we pull over and he tells me to move really far back because he knew it would smoke even more after he turned off the motor. Being that there was a forest on the side of the highway, that was the only place i could take refuge (in 3 inch heels no less!). So i’m in the forest in heels watching this car smoking not sure if the guy was alive.

    Finally I see him walk away from the car and he gave me his phone so i could call my father to pick us up. But by this time he was able to start the car again and we were able to get to the exit ramp to where I lived. On the ramp, the whole car died and he tells me his breaks stopped working. So he pulled over to the side of the road and the car is smokin again. I lived in a very frum area and people from the community are inclined to help when they see a frum yid.

    So here I am on a date with a guy on a ramp to my town with at least 10-20 people who stopped to help. It was a party. All we needed was some marshmallows and hot dogs to have a BBQ!!

    #1226232

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    what about when they’re ordering drinks… The boy says to the barman “a coke for me” and turns to the girl, when the barman says: “the usual?”

    #1226233

    yossiea
    Member

    I only have two stories that I remember.

    On one date I was driving down a two way street, with oncoming traffic and all of a sudden a cat jumps out in the middle of the road. I couldn’t do anything and all that happened is I must’ve made a field goal with that cat. I went out to look and couldn’t find it. no second date.

    Then, I was once driving in the right lane making a right turn when a car from the middle lane turned into my lane and hit me. I got around $80 from them and then left. (I was wondering if I should split it with the girl…)

    #1226234

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    Arevim- HAHAHAHA

    that’s good!

    #1226235

    myshadow
    Member

    rik, I also got stuck and I got scared so I yelped OW! The guy was like omg r u ok?? totally mortifying.

    wannabeshadchan, hallo that’s why I always take my phone with me in case his car smokes up.

    areivim, ha!! more like the guy gets the usual

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