Funny Shidduch Stories
Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Funny Shidduch Stories
Tagged: LOL, Shidduchim, Stories
- This topic has 1,483 replies, 306 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by ☕️coffee addict.
October 7, 2015 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm #1227636cinderellaParticipant
I was on a second date and he drove down a one way looking for parking and found a spot. But it was head in, slanted parking and since he drove the wrong way, I knoew there was no way it was going to happen. He started maneuvering himself in and after about five minutes of me cringing and trying not to yell at him, he totally scraped the whole side of the car next to us. An irate passerby banged on his window and started yelling at him, asking if he even had a license and knew how to drive. I was so mortified. And then the man reached through the window and took the wheel and maneuvered him out. And then my date just drove away. Didn’t even get out to check the damage. And parked two blocks away. His car was bad,y scratched so I imagine the other one was as well. That was not very impressive.October 7, 2015 9:51 pm at 9:51 pm #1227638
Idiot should have overshot the spot and backed in.October 7, 2015 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #1227640☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
it was head in… parkingOctober 7, 2015 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #1227641☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Also, I recognized the other car as one which once blocked my driveway, so the guy had it coming.October 7, 2015 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #1227642
it was head in… parking
One man’s head isOctober 8, 2015 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #1227643cinderellaParticipant
I never realized how fun it would be to share funny dating stories. I have a whole bunch of them for you guys!
-I was in the Five Towns area and he picked me up. We were supposed to be driving to Manhattan but he got so lost and we ended up in New Jersey. It took three hours to get from my house to Manhattan. And it killed me that I knew the way but didn’t want to seem like an annoying backseat driver. So after the first four times I directed him I had to shut up and deal with it. It took every ounce of self control to not say anything when he took the wrong highway and bridge.
-I dated a guy who wore really really nice shoes. Then I dated a guy who wore the same really really nice shoes. And it turned out they were in the yeshiva dorm together and one had borrowed them from the other.
Then I have a couple of really funny and awkward ones but I’m scared to say them because for sure one of those guys are on here and that would just be embarrassing.October 8, 2015 9:09 pm at 9:09 pm #1227644JosephParticipant
After he returned my shoes I had to air them out for three days to clear it of the odor. Did you notice anything unseemly in the air?October 8, 2015 11:35 pm at 11:35 pm #1227645todahrabbaParticipant
I don’t usually post in the CR but have a few stories I’d love to share.Sorry that they’re all jumbled together in one megilla. I’m switching some details so identities are not exposed.
I once dated a guy-we’ll call him Avi.Avi was from Chicago. He was a great boy and had lots of qualities I wanted in a husband but we didn’t really click and ended after 3 dates. Fast forward to the next guy, whose name was Avrohom who was in the same Yeshiva as Avi. Avrohom kept talking about his roommate on our first date without mentioning his name. I was curious if it may be the same guy I just dated so I asked if he’s from Chicago. He said yes. Later on in the date, he mentioned his roommate once more so I asked if he had the same name as him. He said yes.Embarrassed, I realized I just dated his roommate right before him and I said, “Oh, I think I know who he is.” Fast forward 3 weeks, Avrohom and I were on date number 6 and I mentioned that I met another classmate of his, Shmuel on an airplane over a year ago and had a good 3 hour shmooze. Avrohom told me that he had heard among the grapevine that a guy in his yeshiva had a planedate with me but didn’t know who it was and now he knows who! Fast forward, Avrohom and I got engaged and I found out that Avi and Avrohom were both red to me the same time but Avrohom couldn’t date me yet since he didn’t yet pass his rode test so he let Avi date me first.Besides, he knew that they were both so different from each other that if I was for one of them, I wouldn’t be a match for the other so it didn’t bother him to let Avi date me first.He swore Avi to secrecy not to reveal anything about me so he can come up with his own impression of me which I was so thankful for since Avi and I didn’t click and I totally wasn’t myself with Avi. A few weeks in to our engagement, a close friend approached me about setting up a girl, Miriam who she was very close with who I knew a drop but didn’t know that personally. I immediately thought of setting her up with Avi for no good reason, other than why not. A few days later, I saw Miriam by a wedding and told her I suggested a guy for her and that she is personally invited to my vort. She actually showed up at my vort and I noticed that she was whispering a lot on the side to my close friend. I knew something was up. I found out that at the vort, she saw a guy she was about to dump who thought it was going well and that she was trying to figure out who Avi was. Turns out, the guy she was going to dump was another roommate of Avrohom’s and Avi’s and she was now going to dump one roommate and date the other! At the vort, I tried to point out Avi to her but they were all dancing at the time and many had sefira beards and glasses so it was hard to distinguish between a few of them.The guy who showed up at her door ended up looking nothing like the guy she thought I was pointing to lol. Fast forward a few weeks, and Avi and Miriam were still dating and getting serious. Miriam was more serious than Avi at that point. My chassan, Avraham was one of Avi’s references and Miriam’s mom was enamoured by him when she spoke to him. She felt like she had to meet him so she invited us to A shabbos meal. Avi was not thrilled when he heard this since he had some serious doubts about the shidduch and felt that us eating by Miriam’s house would make things seem more serious than they were. Miriam was really excited about the shidduch but Avi was not. Fast forward 2 weeks and they got engaged. I became close with Miriam and now our husbands were already close from being roommates. Had to see Avi quite often between their Lchaim, vort,wedding,sheva brachos, our vort,our wedding, our sheva brachos and many Shabbos meals. NOT awkward!! But I eventually got used to it and don’t view him as a guy I once dated:) Now, getting back to Shmuel, the airplane guy-the story didn’t end there. A week after Avrohom and I got married, we were invited to a sheva brachos of another roommate of Avrohom’s made in Shmuel’s house. They sat me right near Shmuel and Avrohom told me Shmuel appeared quite uncomfortable. Basically, back when I met Shmuel on the airplane, I wasn’t sure what his intentions were after our long shmooze and he didn’t really say anything when we both left the plane. I was thinking maybe we can give it a shot and date for real so I somehow got my resume over to him through family friends who knew his family. He declined it-and now, here he was,face to face with me, once more, married to his yeshivamate lol.October 9, 2015 10:38 am at 10:38 am #1227646ChortkovParticipant
One of my friends from abroad – call him Avrohom – was dating locally, and somebody texted me, asking me if I knew anything about it. I knew about it, but I tried to push away my friend, asking him what makes him think that it true. He sent me a list of clues that led him to his suspicions. I replied with a list of rebuttals – innocent alternative explanations to each clue. But I sent it to the wrong guy: I sent it to the Chosson by mistake. And the chosson didn’t know that I knew about it, and i didn’t want him to know that i knew. So I followed up with another text immediately saying “Just got this from someone lol”; whatever he was thinking, it threw him off course. We laughed about it afterwards at the engagement.
Pretty embarrassing when that happens, and it wasn’t the first time i’ve texted the person i was talking about rather than texting the person I was talking to!October 9, 2015 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #1227647GoGoGoParticipant
Why should we call him Avrohom?May 4, 2016 10:31 am at 10:31 am #1227649
This is probably not a true story but it’s funny
A bocher goes on a date, the girl notices that his pockets are bulging, he sits down, pulls out of one pocket an oily piece of kugel, puts it down in front of himself “one for me”, then pulls out of the second pocket another piece of kugel and hands it to the girl, “one for you”, the girl isn’t impressed and the declines the piece of kugel, the bocher smiles “yay, more for me”August 10, 2016 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #1227651
There was one a bocher who arranged to go on a date but he had find out of town to bust Jewish prisoners for an organization called Alef (it’s an organization that takes care of Jewish prisoners, that they get kosher food, tefillin, stuff for Shabbos and yom tov, they also send out bocherim to visit prisoners to either help them with minyanim on yom tov, to learn with them, or just to do kiruv). Obviously the bocher arranged the date giving himself enough time to get back and get ready but the prison went on lockdown do he couldn’t leave and didn’t know how long it would take, he informed his parents and they called up the girl to inform her “he wouldn’t make it… he’s in prison… we’re trying to get him out… he should be out by the night….”August 11, 2016 12:54 am at 12:54 am #1227652
boki beshas – very funny. very cute.August 11, 2016 1:55 am at 1:55 am #1227653absanParticipant
My daughter was the oldest and the only kid in her class that wasnt married or had a child yet…but I didnt want, neither she to skip her older brother…at several occassions he would tell her how he is in pain for her…the first shabbas night after my son got married my daughter was engaged…her chusen was 3 years younger then her….after she was engaged she went over to her brother and said I feel sorry for you because I was the one keeping you back…because mommy would of never waited for my chusen to growup if you should of been married!!!August 11, 2016 3:58 am at 3:58 am #1227654
absan – so cute:) but people shouldnt wait for older siblings otherwise i have no clue when ill be married as of right now im hoping to be married as soon as possible even if i get married before my older sister.August 11, 2016 7:59 am at 7:59 am #1227655
I’ve actually done prison visitations for alef, and I told a girl about it on our first date, it takes minimal common sense to talk about in a way that doesn’t freak people out. Being sent by a well established organization to do kiruv isn’t scary even if it’s for prisonersAugust 11, 2016 8:05 am at 8:05 am #1227656
The following is a brilliant shidduch joke
A shadchan goes to see a poor man and says, “I want to arrange a marriage for your son.”
The poor man replies, “I never interfere in my son’s life.”
The shadchan responds, “But the girl is Lord Rothschild’s daughter.”
“Well, in that case…”
Next, the shadchan approaches Lord Rothschild. “I have a husband for your daughter.”
“But my daughter is too young to marry.”
“But this young man is already a vice president of the World Bank.”
“Ah, in that case…”
Finally, the shadchan goes to see the president of the World Bank.
“I have a young man to recommend to you as a vice president.”
“But I already have more vice presidents than I need.”
“But this young man is Lord Rothschild’s son-in-law.”
“Ah, in that case….”
I only wish all shadchonim were that smartAugust 11, 2016 8:35 am at 8:35 am #1227657Shopping613 🌠Participant
Boys and girls shouldn’t wait for each other. But if it’s a boy waiting for a boy or girl for girl it’s okay until like 20/21 because ain ma lasot.August 11, 2016 12:52 pm at 12:52 pm #1227658
I find it highly troubling that a parent would prevent their daughter from dating for years, until she was the only one from her class unmarried.
I’m glad it didn’t cause her to never get married in this case.August 11, 2016 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #1227659
I went ahead of my older sister but I got verbal consent from her before doing soAugust 11, 2016 3:04 pm at 3:04 pm #1227660
Gedolei Yisroel were usually not pro younger siblings waiting for their older siblings, at least not too wait too long. One gadol would always says that the younger sibling should get permission (verbal or written) from the older sibling and if they didn’t give permission they should be explained that allowing the younger sibling to go ahead is a segula for them to find their bashertAugust 11, 2016 4:51 pm at 4:51 pm #1227661
Two of my younger siblings got married before me (brother and sister). I can’t imagine what a horrible person I’d have had to be to deny that to them.August 11, 2016 7:54 pm at 7:54 pm #1227662Veltz MeshugenerMember
1: A friend of mine was pressured to go out before he was ready. He was not planning to date, but the shadchan convinced his parents that they had already agreed, and that since the girl was in town only for another day, the date had to happen immediately. He barely had time to shave and he had to borrow a (borderline) decent car and didn’t really have time to clean it, etc. etc.
The shidduch didn’t work out. A few months later, another friend of mine got engaged to the woman with whom the first friend had gone out. Some time later, I asked the second friend if his wife had discussed this date she had had with a tzifloigeneh guy who couldn’t be bothered to shave or rent a decent car. He said she had mentioned it, without mentioning names of course because they don’t speak lashon hara. I told him he could tell his wife that the guy wasn’t really that bad…
2: When I was dating my wife, she asked, what is your reaction when you find out that you are wrong or made a mistake? I thought about it for a few minutes, and then answered very seriously, “I don’t really know, I can’t say that has ever happened before.”
She married me ON THE SPOT.August 11, 2016 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #1227663
boki beshas – amen. it should be a segula for my older sister. if i end up getting married before her the way its going right now looks like it will. just because i so desperately want to get married while she doesnt mind waiting.
popa_bar_abba – good for you. are you married now?August 12, 2016 2:08 am at 2:08 am #1227664
This isn’t quiet a shidduch story but it’s cute.
To preface, chabad have a minhag that when a guy and girl decide to get engaged they go to get resting place of the last chabad Rebbe zatzal before announcing the engagement, I think they go, say some tehillim by the kever, then announce the engagement
There is a chabad couple in kiruv, living out in the middle of nowhere, by a Shabbos meal their young daughter says a dvar torah and in it mentions the word cemetery. One of the guests curiously asks her “do you know what a cemetery is?”, the little girl says “yes, it’s a place where people who passed away are buried, and where people go to get engaged”
I personally know this couple although I did not hear this story from themAugust 12, 2016 2:53 am at 2:53 am #1227665
boki beshas – it is cute.August 12, 2016 3:12 am at 3:12 am #1227666
Sparkly you definitely have the right approach to marriage, it’s what hashem expects of us (Bereishis 2:24) and people should be eager to get married. You have my blessing to get married soon, “The blessing of a simpleton should not be taken lightly in your eyes” (Berachos daf 7 amud 2)
I need to hold my title of boki beshas 😉August 12, 2016 3:47 am at 3:47 am #1227667
boki beshas – not everyone wants to get married right away and thats totally understandable. i am just desperate because i love the idea of marriage. its a beautiful thing. i rather be married with kids than go to college. but others will disagree. others rather be doctors and get married when their 30 and only have like 2 – 3 kids. and thats understandable too because they want to do other stuff with their life rather than just get married and have kids. the issue then comes in with me since i like these kinds of people and like being around them then i get stuck with a dilema of wanting to get married and have like 10 kids and the husband only wanting 2 – 3 and wanting to get married at 30 so issue can be resolved if i marry someone else who has my viewpoint but thats HARD which is why im still not married.August 12, 2016 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm #1227668
Sparky – I do understand people who don’t want to get married right away. When I said that people should want to get married sooner I was only stating my own opinion, I base it off my understanding of torah but it’s only my opinion nonetheless, so anyone can disagree with it.
I didn’t realize and probably still don’t realize what you’re going through, I therefore apologize if I offended you, I sincerely wish you Hatzlacha Rabbah in finding your bashert very very soon.August 14, 2016 3:15 am at 3:15 am #1227669
I don’t have any really funny dating stories personally, the worst that happened to me was getting lost in central park.
I took a girl to central park, my plan was to walk through central park from top to bottom (the top being the side further from Brooklyn, it’s the top when looking at a map) I don’t have the best sense of direction but I figured that we could stay on paths closer to 5th ave then exit on e 61st there’s a very fancy hotel. While walking through the park trying to stay close to 5th ave we found ourselves walking on dirt paths which made me feel bad because she was wearing fancy shoes, so we looked for paved paths and before we knew it we were lost, this is evening time, not many people around and it’s getting very dark… Later that night in the hotel I proposed and we’re engaged.
Truth be told I did handle the situation very calmly, we asked for directions, followed them and made it out of the parkAugust 14, 2016 4:16 am at 4:16 am #1227670
boki beshas – amen. your engaged right now? truth is the whole thing with the 3 kid situation is my fault since i heard someone had 15 kids in their family and i said i dont want to date someone with so many kids in their family!August 14, 2016 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm #1227671
Yes boruch Hashem I am engaged, I feel very fortunate to have been blessed as I was that I found my bashert relatively easily, I also had the additional blessing that my kallah was redt to me Wednesday night lag beomer the yom hilula (yarzeit) of rabi shimon bar yochai, I firmly believe that believe that rabi shimon bar yochai blessed me with Hatzlacha.
if I can make a recommendation, something I did throughout dating which I believed also helped, before every date I wrote a kvittel (a note) requesting brochos that I should have Hatzlacha, I addressed them to a certain gadol and brought them to his kever, in my case I bright them right before I got engaged, I’m not suggesting to run to the kever before every date, just write a note and at some point when you’re able to make it to the kever bring all the notes.
My heart and Prayers go out for all of you out there who still need to find your bashert.August 14, 2016 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #1227672
boki beshas – mazel tov:) is your kallah in the coffee room also?August 14, 2016 6:53 pm at 6:53 pm #1227673
NoAugust 14, 2016 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #1227674
Not as of yet, she might join, I’ll have to ask herAugust 14, 2016 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm #1227675
boki beshas – that would be cute if there was husband and wife on here. does she even know that you post on here?August 14, 2016 9:52 pm at 9:52 pm #1227676
Probably not, I am very careful only to post things that I know she doesn’t mind me sayingAugust 14, 2016 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm #1227677
boki beshas – me too. but my guy doesnt know that i talk to other guys because were not engaged yet.August 17, 2016 5:06 am at 5:06 am #1227678
This might not count as a shidduch story but it’s funny
Many years ago in a shtetel somewhere in Europe, there was a girl named zissel who unlike most girls behaved in a very immodest way and openly flirted with bocherim.
There were two bocherim that fell for her flirting and bird for her hand in marriage, zissel wasn’t the type to ask advice from a Rov, but in this case she did, sincerely or disingenuously she approached the Rov and asked “Rabbi, there are two bocherim who want to marry me, Chatzkel and Berish, tell me Rabbi which one is the lucky one which one will marry me?”.
The Rov replies, “zissel, I will be very honest with you, Berish is the one who will marry you but Chatzkel is the lucky one…”December 5, 2016 1:41 am at 1:41 am #1227679nava611Member
Ok, so I read this in some shidduch book.So this guy was going on a date with a girl and he realized his pants had a rip in it or he had some malfunction, so he decided to make up an excuse to go to the store to buy something for his “brother”. So he picked out a shirt and pants. Afterwards, they went to a resturant and the boy said he’ll be right back while he goes to the bathroom. He went and tried changing his pants so he threw his ripped ones out of the window (I honestly don’t know why) and looked into the bag with the clothes he bought and realized there was only a shirt in there. So he was left pantsless. The story ended there so idk what happened after. hahahahaDecember 5, 2016 3:25 am at 3:25 am #1227680LightbriteParticipant
Lol! AwkwardJanuary 3, 2017 5:46 am at 5:46 am #1227683yw613Participant
Any more?February 8, 2017 1:10 am at 1:10 am #1227684
Not really a Shidduch story but it’s funny
My wife recently overheard her two youger brothers talking about buying bb guns, one is 9 the other is 13, at some point the 9 year old looks at the 13 year old and very seriously asks “But who’s going to want to marry you if you have a bb gun?”March 15, 2017 1:49 am at 1:49 am #1227685zaltzvasserParticipant
bumpMarch 27, 2017 8:59 pm at 8:59 pm #1244828zaltzvasserParticipant
Has nobody dated recently?! Come on, everyone!March 27, 2017 10:42 pm at 10:42 pm #1244856bmyerParticipant
I know a guy that opened the door for the girl on the first date and then said from now on you can open the door for yourself don’t worry I have insurance…they have a kid…March 28, 2017 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #1246029Lilmod UlelamaidParticipant
bmyer – I don’t get it….November 19, 2017 11:29 am at 11:29 am #1405712Shopping613 🌠Participant
Anyone have any more stories? I need a laugh. I have a few but they aren’t matim to post, and will probably out meNovember 19, 2017 11:42 am at 11:42 am #1405722JosephParticipant
Shopping, change a few slight details and you’ll be fine sharing them.November 20, 2017 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm #1407791Lilmod UlelamaidParticipant
This is a true story happened to a friend of mine in the prehistoric era when cellphones were uncommon, and roommates shared landlines.
Sara and Esty were roommates. A shadchan set Sara up with Yossi. On Sunday, Yossi called Sara at work and they set up a date for Wednesday night.
On Monday night, the phone rang in Sara’s apartment. She answered it, and the person calling asked for Esty.
“Esty’s not here, can I take a message?”
“Yes, tell her that Yossi called.”
“Uh, Yossi, do you know who this is?”
Yossi bursts out laughing when he realizes, and embarrassedly explains that he was was only in Israel for another week, so he wanted to get in as many dates as possible.
Moral of the story: If you’re going to double-date, at least make sure the girls/boys aren’t roommates.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.