Guy and Girls on Purim

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  • #595810
    adorable
    Participant

    I noticed twice yesterday that guys were calling girls by their first name in public (single guys who would normally die of embarrassment if they “slipped”)….I thought it was pretty bad! Why is it that when they get “high” they say things that are not appropriate? I would die if a random guy asked me out on Purim in public!

    #751914
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Because alcohol reduces inhibitions.

    #751915
    Grandmaster
    Member

    Calling by the first name or asking out? Those are two different things. The former is bad, but might be excusable on Purim. (Might be, I’m not sure.) The latter is wrong anytime (even not in public).

    #751916

    I generally avoid being around men on Purim.

    #751917
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Because alcohol lowers a person’s inhibitions. Were you looking for a deeper answer?

    #751918
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Alcohol lowers inhibitions.

    #751919
    umm
    Member

    Did anyone mention that alchohol lowers a person’s inhibitions?? 😉

    Seriously, why is everyone repeating eachother?

    #751920
    dunno
    Member

    More than once I’ve heard guys say things on Purim that they wouldn’t have dared to say had they been sober. Think before getting drunk!

    #751921
    mw13
    Participant

    dunno:

    “More than once I’ve heard guys say things on Purim that they wouldn’t have dared to say had they been sober. Think before getting drunk!”

    I’m not sure how thinking beforehand would help anything. No matter how hard you think, alcohol still (wait for it…) lowers one’s inhibitions.

    #751922

    its really embarrassing when these yeshivah bochrim start asking you your name and age and stuff on purim!! but its pretty funny when they get drunk you havta admit…..

    #751923
    toomuch00
    Member

    Yea i was walking down a street in flatbush yesterday and a guy, teenaged, calls out to me ” Hey how are ya, a frelichin purim sweetie! “. it was totally weird and he didnt even look drunk! does he think just because its purim he could act like that?? that never happened to me before so i was really suprised

    #751924
    Grandmaster
    Member

    Purim is no excuse for that crude vulgar behavior.

    #751925
    toomuch00
    Member

    I mean maybe im at fault because i was dressed up sorta cutely (if i do say so myself) and i was like around his age.. but i wouldnt expect a guy to talk to me in the 1st place.

    #751926
    mosherose
    Member

    “I noticed twice yesterday that guys were calling girls by their first name in public”

    No man shuld EVER call a woman by her first name in public unless its his daugter or granddaugter.

    #751927
    dunno
    Member

    mw13

    I meant to say if he thinks what could happen before drinking he might limit it.

    #751928
    s2021
    Member

    mosherose- Is it OK if my cousin sometimes calls me by my first name? He usually just says like “uh excuse me..” but yesterday he wanted me to pass him the Diet Dr. Pepper and I couldnt hear him coughing so he called me by my first name. I was takah very embarrased and I couldnt stop blushing the entire seudah..

    #751929
    yoyo56
    Member

    what should they call them by then?!?

    #751930
    mosherose
    Member

    “Is it OK if my cousin sometimes calls me by my first name? He usually just says like “uh excuse me..””

    If hes going to talk to you at all he shuld call you Miss or Mrs. whatever yur last name is.

    Also I dont know if a mixed Purim seuda is a good idea eether.

    #751931
    metrodriver
    Member

    mosherose; …Or his sister!

    #751932
    yoyo56
    Member

    is this a joke each time a man other than ur grandfather and father call u they should say miss/mrs?!?

    #751933

    might confused:

    why would anyone ever call another by a first name?

    some one please enlighten me!

    #751934
    Grandmaster
    Member

    By many Bnei Torah, a husband will not call his wife by her first name if non immediate family is around.

    #751935
    s2021
    Member

    mosherose- did I say Diet Dr. Pepper? I meant Gemarah. And it was over the mechitzah..

    #751936
    mosherose
    Member

    “By many Bnei Torah, a husband will not call his wife by her first name if non immediate family is around. “

    And many more wont use her first name at all even if their alone in private.

    #751937

    “I mean maybe im at fault because i was dressed up sorta cutely (if i do say so myself) and i was like around his age.. but i wouldn’t expect a guy to talk to me in the 1st place.”

    Girls just can’t seem to put 2 and 2 together on this one. It’s over their heads. If you care about the future of the jewish people, don’t dress provocatively (read: cutely) around drunk boys your age! Or ever, but that’s too much for you to understand, obviously.

    #751938
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    I noticed twice yesterday that guys were calling girls by their first name in public

    Yeah,

    Even I called to some girls (something which I don’t usually do and I said Mrs.___ (In context, it was to ask if they liked it if their husbands get drunk)

    #751939
    Grandmaster
    Member

    mbachur: Men don’t need their wife’s approval to do a mitzvah.

    #751940
    toomuch00
    Member

    seventytotheone: Firstly, it is so not over my head and i understand completely. i was not dressed “provacatively” at all, bute Cute, like i said. thats a big difference. Also, this guy was not drunk. I was just wondering if purim gave him the permission of talking to me, when it would never happen on a regular day.

    #751941
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Grandmaster,

    I know that, that’s why i asked after i was drunk

    I was just showing her that wives on’t care if their husbands get drunk

    #751942
    simple-jew
    Member

    What about the girls that start conversations with guys? Also since it is known that the teenage guys are out collecting and unfortunetly drinking when it is not the mitzvah to (i.e. By night) then why do the parents let the girls go outside? Especially dressed CUTE? Or not tzniusdik.

    #751943

    I’ve heard many times that lots of bad stuff goes on on purim. In concerts, meals, boys collecting… Purim is NO excuse for anyone to overstep their boundaries. However when someone is drunk, their insides come out and they might say what they’re thinking which may not be appropriate. You can’t make girls stay inside and run away from guys. Girls are allowed to live just like guys can. Even if they stay inside, guys go collecting so you can’t stop it. Just respond coldly when a random guy starts a conversation. And this is why many girls don’t dress up “cutely” or at all.

    And mosherose: mixed meals are fine when they are done correctly. Its called SELF CONTROL!!!

    #751944
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    I dont get it. This is such a confused thread where yet again it seems we cant differentiate between acceptable and not. Comparing guys (married or single) calling out to single random girls in the street is never acceptable whoever and whatever. Calling a cousin by their name to whom you or at least your families obviously have connection if you’re both sitting at the same Purim ??????? I cant see anything wrong with that at all.

    #751945
    newsreader
    Participant

    Purim is not an excuse for that sort of behaviour. But girls should not be hanging around drunk boys at all, it encourages that sort of loshonos. Seminarys should keep older girls of the drunken streets and on the holiest day of the year, Purim, will be a kosher day.

    #751946
    mdd
    Member

    If one knows, he will not behave himself, he should no drink on Purim.

    #751947

    Just one of the reasons why I absolutely do not like Purim. On Purim, I don’t drink wine (I never do in any case), I don’t hold any big seudah (just a small seudah with my wife and close family with no or almost no alcohol), go to work, and at home I lock myself up behind a double lock to avoid the drunks.

    #751948
    shev143
    Member

    You would die? Thank Gd that isnt something you have to worry about.

    #751949
    simple-jew
    Member

    I wasn’t saying that the girls should be locked in the houses and its very different inside the house in front of the mother/father. Maybe there should be school get togethers for the girls with bouncers so no guys could come in (on purim night) I was going around delivering some shaloch manos on purim night and I saw groups of guys and girls right next to each other that’s unacceptable and either the parents should keep the girls or the guys @ home

    #751951
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    You don’t like purim?

    #751952
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Is it true, alcohol lowers ones inhibitions?

    #751953
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Daniel whats going on with your ??????? No wine. Going to work. Small ????? ???? ?? ???? by the sound of it. Where’s the ??? ???? ????? that we’re supposed to have? You seem to have ????? ? (just about) but not the ??? ???? !!

    #751956
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Is it true, alcohol lowers ones inhibitions?

    I’ve seen that a number of times.

    BTW, the reason so many posts said the same thing is probably because they were posted when the earlier ones were not yet approved.

    Or they thought they were being funny.

    Now everyone try to be funny and repeat my post… 😉

    #751957

    BTW, the explanation as to why so many posts said the same thing is because they were posted when the earlier ones were not yet approved.

    #751958
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Maybe people said the same thing more than once because they wrote it before the previous ones were approved.

    #751959
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Or maybe they wanted to be funny.

    #751960

    another possibility is that, hard as this is to believe, they thought they were being funny

    #751961
    veteran
    Member

    The most likely explanation is that every post in the CR is posted 3-5 times. Then Mod 80 deletes the ones that came before his.

    #751962
    Sacrilege
    Member

    A.

    This is what girls have to realize, not only on Purim, but all year long: If you dress like a slut, they will comment.

    To you its “cutely” to him its provocative.

    B.

    Purim is a YOM TOV, a holy one at that. You dont ‘dislike’ it. You dislike the way people are Mivazeh it perhaps.

    C.

    The solution isnt to deprive woman and girls of their Simchas Yom Tov because their are some boys (and girls) who cant control themselves.

    The solution would be for parents to ACT like parents and Rabbeim to ACT like Rabbeim and to limit the drinking of those who SHOULD NOT be drinking. Believe me, it is not the ones who are fulfilling the Mitzva of Ad D’lo Yada correctly that are cat calling and embarrassing themselves (and their family, Yeshiva….)

    #751963
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Truthfully I’m not sure why someone who calls herself “cutiepie” is even asking the question.

    #751964
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    This Purim I was thinking of sticking with Low-Alcohol beer only.

    Because reduced alcohol increases inhibitions. 🙂

    #751969
    bpt
    Participant

    I don’t know how I missed all this, as I was outside (in both BP and Flatbush) from noon till past mindight, and did not see any of this. Boys were rowdy, but very respectful of girls / women. I know of one house party that had a mixed crowd, but that’s the norm for that house, so its unfair to blame Purim for that.

    One the whole, I saw very few true drunken boys (did not see ONE drunk girl)

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