March 17, 2009 4:21 pm at 4:21 pm #1008176SnowbackMember
So Flatbush27, if a person told you that their rav allows for a woman to dress up on Purim, you should accept it, and not question it. After all, you did say, “Not individuals who think they know more than a rav.” Also, the same would apply to a rav’s approval of wearing another color.
Wouldn’t it be better served to just say, “Everyone should do what their own rabbinical authority states” without any commentary?March 18, 2009 3:18 am at 3:18 am #1008177oomisParticipant
Flatbush, there are rabbonim who believe it it untzniusdig for a woman to wear a shaitel without a hat atop it. They also believe that it is wrong for a woman to wear stockings without seams (even if dark), because then it appears as though the legs are uncovered. The women who follow the shittos of those rabbonim, by all means should always do what they say. I am not one of their followers, my rov holds differently, and as long as my rov has no issues with my behavior being untzniusdig, I will allow my poseik to determine what I should or should not do in matters of halacha. And I do not wear costumes, but it has nothing to do with tznius, it is simply my personal preference.
Sometimes I feel as though there are some posters here who are trying to “convert” some of us, because they absolutely KNOW that they alone have the universal truth. To be frank, it has the opposite effect, and chalilah could drive someone away if that person is wavering in his or her commitment to Torah. An opinion can always be expressed in a mature, NON-JUDGMENTAL way, but I don’t see that being the case at times here. Those of us who believe more in following the shvil hazahav, do not see eye to eye with fire and brimstone preachers. And we probably never will. I can appreciate and respect your point of view on most issues while disagreeing with it, but the sad fact is that some of you do not extend the same courtesy to the rest of us, and you come across as strident at times.February 15, 2010 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #1008178nathan21Member
dont feel like reading through the whole thread but my teenage daughter wants to know if she could dress up this purim. initially i said no because i felt it would not be tznius but what do people here think? should i just change my mind say yes?February 15, 2010 11:02 pm at 11:02 pm #1008179oomisParticipant
It depends on what she is dressed as. Tzniusdig clothing can be in constume form.February 18, 2010 2:43 am at 2:43 am #1008181aries2756Participant
There is no reason women should not enjoy the chag with their daughters and families. Tznius always applies whether it is Purim, Pesach or vacations in Florida.February 18, 2010 2:59 am at 2:59 am #1008182jphoneMember
To summarize for you.
“My rav said, no way”.
“My rav said , go for it”.
What does YOUR rav say?February 18, 2010 3:03 am at 3:03 am #1008183mybatMember
I never really asked! 🙂February 18, 2010 3:13 am at 3:13 am #1008184aries2756Participant
Personally I was taught that you go to your Rav to ask a sheilah you don’t know the answer to or you don’t understand. Things that are no brainers don’t have to be asked.February 18, 2010 4:05 am at 4:05 am #1008185nathan21Member
i dont think most people call there rav for every minor issue that comes up in life. yes people do but most of us dont have our rav on speed dial. once in a while maybe we mix up a fleishig knife with a milchigs one and we dont know what to do so we call our rav but to call about our wives and daughters dressing up on purim outside the house we dont call, we as the man of the household make the decision ourself without our mommy holding our hands or our rav whispering in our ear. maybe im just talking for myselfFebruary 18, 2010 10:50 am at 10:50 am #1008186haifagirlParticipant
dont feel like reading through the whole thread but my teenage daughter wants to know if she could dress up this purim. initially i said no because i felt it would not be tznius but what do people here think? should i just change my mind say yes?
In some communities the women dress up. In other communities they don’t.
Is your daughter going to a school-sponsored function where there girls are expected to dress up? Is she just going to be hanging out with friends? Does the school have a policy? What do the other people in your community do?January 31, 2013 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm #1008187achosidParticipant
Why not.January 31, 2013 11:39 pm at 11:39 pm #1008188
Ask ur rav or any rav u don’t have to give ur name.
But I think as long as it’s tzinusdik then fine the mitzvah is to dress up!January 31, 2013 11:54 pm at 11:54 pm #1008189CuriosityParticipant
Vesamchta bechagecha is a mitzvas asei shehazman grama lol…February 1, 2013 12:06 am at 12:06 am #1008190Torah613TorahParticipant
Dress up in a burka! And hijab!February 1, 2013 12:42 am at 12:42 am #1008191truthsharerMember
What’s the point of wearing a costume if the women are chained to the kitchen anyway?February 1, 2013 4:05 am at 4:05 am #1008192
Trithsharer- not true they are not!!!!!!! They go out a little and when whole extended family gets tog very nice to b dressed up!! Mitzvah and an EASY ONEFebruary 1, 2013 4:39 am at 4:39 am #1008193🐵 ⌨ GamanitParticipant
I don’t know why everyone here seems to be under the impression that wearing a costume will attract undue attention… depending on where I’m being for purim, that’s how I’ll dress up. But I will dress up every purim. One year when my hair was shoulder length I wore extensions in my hair to make it waist lenghth, and I wore earings that were totally not my style. This year I plan on wearing a wig of a totally different color than my hair. For people who know me, they’ll see right away that it’s a costume, but for strangers I look like everyone else.February 1, 2013 4:45 am at 4:45 am #1008194
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!February 1, 2013 5:04 am at 5:04 am #1008195mirroronthewallMember
i had areally long conversation with my teacher about this. if you are wearing a bright yellow dress on purimmm cuzyou want to be falshy, then no. its not ok. if you are doing it cuz its purim, and you are supposed to be different than normal, then not only is it ok, its great! i personally think that if girls nowadays have such a problem with tznius,(which we do) then this is a great way to get that out of their system! i mean, its the one day a year when its ok to look different! im not saying its ok to dress like a bum cuz you really want to look like that, but everone else is also dressed up, and its a healthy way to get that out of the way without doing something inappropriateFebruary 1, 2013 5:07 am at 5:07 am #1008196mirroronthewallMember
also, i dont think this is really the mens business. to each their own. if thats what they want to do, then their concerns have nothing to do with them. there are thing that men shouldnt do thats not right, too. read my post, ‘bus’February 2, 2013 9:06 pm at 9:06 pm #1008197ToiParticipant
i will drive over you. ‘bus’.February 9, 2013 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #1008198hellothisismeMember
A (tznius) costume will not necessarily attract attention if you are walking around somewhere where everyone is dressed up (obviously I don’t mean a flashy coustume/bright colours etc) and therefore should surely be okay, no?February 10, 2013 12:35 am at 12:35 am #1008199jewishfeminist02Member
If everyone else is wearing bright colored costumes, then for one to wear a costume in a dark or neutral color is to stand out more. Tznius is always subjective.March 11, 2014 10:36 pm at 10:36 pm #1008200achosidParticipant
BBBUUMMPPMarch 12, 2014 2:29 am at 2:29 am #1008201☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
This is what he’s referring to.March 14, 2014 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #1008202🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
I’m thinking of wearing a sheital but I don’t think anyone will recognize me.March 14, 2014 10:07 pm at 10:07 pm #1008203🐵 ⌨ GamanitParticipant
Syag Lchochama- all the better! The whole point is the disguise part. You can get really cheap wigs online…March 14, 2014 10:32 pm at 10:32 pm #1008204🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
I meant my real sheital. The one that sits in my closet.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.