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DaMoshe:
You want to argue with Trumas Hadeshen? With the Gemara?
What I quoted from Rav Falk is all Torah sourced. It’s not Rav Falk making these statements.
There are other sefarim that have these same statements and sources.
one example- The Maalos Hamiddos teaches:
“שערות האשה הן פריצות וערוה ומרגילין את האדם להרהור ותאווה ”
“The hair of a married woman is considered immodest and ervah and incites a person to forbidden thoughts and desires”
The Chofetz Chaim wrote in numerous places in his sefer Geder Olam how the commandment of hair covering for a married woman is entirely based on modesty. (I highly recommend the sefer)
Rescue:
You’re right, women love to dress up. And they should dress up – in the house for their husbands only. We live in an upside down world where women dress up outside but in their homes they look like shmattas for their husbands. Women should wear their wigs at home to beautify themselves for their husbands (like they used to do in the times of the Gemara with a peah nachris) and outside wear cloth head coverings (so they look modest and married in front of other men). That is real tznius.
And for those women that say- Well I dress up outside for my husband because he likes me looking beautiful for the world too- this is forbidden (called Achashveirish syndrome). There is a heavy price to pay for this as quoted by the Chofetz Chaim, Sefer Geder Olam, Chapter 4:
“The Yetzer Hora should not mislead her that she will be saved from the punishment of Strict/Unmerciful law in thinking that she had to make herself pretty for the sake of her husband so that he wouldn’t dislike her, because truthfully this rationalization is a big mistake, since this excuse (beautifying herself to please her husband) is relevant only to the confines of her house but to a public environment…”An interesting point to note that this need to cover the hair in public stems from Chava, who after causing her husband Adam to sin, was told that she must cover her hair (similar to the need to be covered post-sin) (Eruvin 100b). Had she not sinned, the lure of her natural beauty would not have become a trigger for men to falter (Oz V’hadar Levusha page 244:H)
A great resource of info about the topic of hair covering:Rescue- there is a concept of not being a stumbling block before the blind….
So according to you women don’t need to bother to be modest since men can’t control their feelings of attraction anyways?
This is not a torah oriented way of thinking. Women are required to be as modest as possible and men need to guard their eyes too. But women have a responsibility to try to ensure that they do not dress and cover their hair in a manner that entices men and causes them to have hihurim.
Chazal classified the hair of a married woman as ervah- the Terumas Hadeshen explains that the reason why the Torah commanded a married woman to cover her hair in public is because it is pritzus d’gavra, an attraction to men. Since the hair of a married woman beautifies her, is attractive to men and can cause them to sin, it must be covered. A male is forbidden to see a married woman’s hair, since it causes sinful thoughts about her which are forbidden.
An unmarried girl need not cover her hair. The Torah did not obligate her to cover it- although it adds charm to her appearance, since she is not an eishes ish and therefore has no need to hide this part of her chein in public. The Torah requires a married woman to conceal her hair from the eyes of the public in order to lessen attraction to herself, because once she is married, she may neither attract attention to herself nor may any man, other than her husband, enjoy her beauty.
So if we are going to be intellectually honest here, wigs today usually cause women to look more attractive, not less. They only attract men’s attention, therefore they are not modest head coverings but another item of beauty, fashion and glamour worn only to provoke.Redleg- that is incorrect.
As I wrote previously (with sources) single girls don’t need to cover their hair:
From Rav Falk zt”l “An unmarried maiden may attract attention to herself (within the boundaries of tznius) so that she is sought after and eventually marries (Ta’anis 13a and Kesubos 52b). Similarly, a man may look at a girl and take an interest in her appearance, chein, mannerisms etc. if he is considering her for marriage for himself or someone else. A married woman may, however, neither attract attention to herself (Kesubos 73a Rashi v.s. Sahara. See also Rosh and Ritvo) nor may a man take an interest in the appearance of an eishes ish, as she is unavailable to everyone but her husband.
For this reason the hair of a girl may be seen, whilst the hair of a married woman, which is naturally a major source of attraction to her, must be covered and hidden from the eye of the public. Accordingly, for a married woman to wear a head covering that easily passes as her own hair, defeats the very function of this mitzvah, since a man seeing her can think that he is seeing her own hair and be attracted by it, especially when he does not know who she is and whether she is married or not.”
It is a grave sin for a man to look at a married woman inappropriately and that is why she was commanded to cover a great source of beauty- her hair. This beauty is meant for her husband only. The purpose of a married woman’s head covering is to create a barrior between the married woman and other men. This is why today’s wigs are not a kisui rosh- they do the opposite of the purpose of this commandment. They only beautify and enchance the married woman’s appearamce making her more attractive to other men. The commandment of hair covering is not a chok. There is a clear reason given for this mitzvah and it is to increase the married woman’s tznius as she is now an eishes ish. The main reason is not to look married- this is incorrect.
The book “Adorned with Dignity” is an excellent resource with all this info.Here is an excellent letter written by a woman who became religious later in life that really summerizes the issue (it was printed in Mishpacha magazine a few years ago):
I am a baalas teshuva- prior to “my return”, I traveled internationally as a background singer for various non Jewish superstars and was also featured as a solo artist with numerous bands. Before I became frum I performed in many prestigious places worldwide, including the White House and for the Queen of England. Unfortunately, I was exposed to very bad elements- really the lowest of the low. The women who performed with me were entirely focused on the external and their dress and behavior reflected this mind set. I too remember being enslaved to my external appearance. Many of these female singers actually wore wigs to perform. It was part of their “costume”. Long, short- it didn’t really matter. The wigs were meant to provoke
and to give a certain glamorous appearance. NO ONE in the secular world was wearing a wig for modesty reasons. They would have laughed if I had suggested such an idea.
When I learned about the concept of Tznius, I embraced the transformation with open arms as it finally made me a neshama, instead of an object. My hair was always a MAJOR part of my visual identity and appeal. As an orthodox married woman, there was never a discussion about how I wanted to cover my hair. My chason just assumed I’d wear a sheital, like everyone else. When I explained how I felt about preserving my beauty for the home only, he whole heartedly agreed it was preferable. I guess I never realized what a statement it would make entering a crowded shul or chasana, let alone, continuing with my career as a professional singer.
The reason I never considered owning a sheital is because it would make me feel and look like I did before, unmarried. My head covering defines me as a Jewish married woman and I’m proud to be seen as such. In public, I feel protected as my hair is not exposed and clearly covered. I also know that I am doing my utmost to prevent men from stumbling – as I look much more modest in a tichel than in a wig. I feel like a Kiddush Hashem and a light unto the nations as I frequently have non Jewish people ask me about our holidays and enlightening hashkafos. I peacefully cover my hair the way I do because it reminds me that I’m different. I am a servant of Hashem, prepared to take responsibility for my role as a Jewish married woman and I
consider it a privilege to do so.
My personal story can be heard on Chazak, story number 218.
Thank you
Mrs. Miriam SandlerIt’s not just the long wigs that are a problem.
The short ones are very problematic too. Hollywood actresses wear short wigs too and they are definitely not wearing them to be modest. The point of covering the hair is not to have a modest short “hairstyle”, if that was the case married women would have just been commanded to cut their hair after marriage. They were commanded to cover all their hair- long hair, short hair, grey hair, thinning hair etc… Married women are supposed to have an extra level of modesty than single girls and this is accomplished with their head covering. Wigs today are not head coverings, they are hair replacements. Wigs are worn in the secular world for beauty and fashion only. No one would dream of wearing a wig for modesty purposes.
Most women mistakenly believe that wigs were worn as head coverings by Jewish women for hundreds of years and that it is part of our mesora. The wigs that were originally mentioned in the Gemara, peah nachris (strange wigs) were never used as head coverings. Women who were balding or had thinning hair wore wigs in the house to make themselves more attractive for their husbands. Women always put on a scarf that covered all of the wig when they went out in public.
Until about 180 years ago Jewish women always wore scarves outside- it was always the traditional headwear of the Jewish woman. About 180 years ago there was a decree in Russia that Jewish women were not allowed to cover their hair outside. The Rabbanim therefore allowed the use of wigs, otherwise women would have been walking around bare headed. The wigs then were extremely unnatural and wiggy looking. The Rabbanim were relying on the heter from the Shiltei giborim, but there were also many Rabbanim at that time that were against this heter- of using wigs as a head covering. They screamed about the use of the wigs. The heter itself is a big machlokas among poskim. Many poskim, Ashkenazic and Sephardic, held that the Shiltei giborim never allowed the use of wigs outside, that he never meant for the wig to be used in rishus harabim, in a public courtyard.
The Rabbanim that allowed wigs at that time would never allow any of todays wigs (short or long).Comparing nice wigs to nice garments is totally inaccurate.
A dress is made out of material and completely covers and conceals the ervah that needs to be hidden from men. A wig is an exact replica of the body part that is erva – the hair. A nice modest cloth head covering can be compared to a nice modest dress. A wig is made out of someone else’s hair and it’s illogical and wrong to cover erva with someone else’s nice erva. The technology is so advanced today that wigs usually look better than a woman’s own hair. The wigs that the Rabbanim allowed over a hundred years ago (and even those wigs were a big machlokas with many great Poskim forbidding them) looked like helmits- they were ugly, stiff, short and did not resemble hair at all. They looked nothing like today’s wigs which are natural looking and beautifying and give the appearance of an uncovered head.
For this reason Rav Elyashiv ztz’l” spoke very harshly against today’s sheitels.
These are the words of the Rav translated into English (from a recording of a shiur he gave):
“Even though there’s a dispute among the Poskim whether it’s mutar or ossur to wear a sheitel, if they walk as if their hair is revealed, the way those that are not covering their hair walk, they are violating an issur gamur, it’s mamish, it’s emes like ervah. (the term used in gemara to describe parts of the body that must be covered according to halacha) The issur is as follows: If they walk with a sheitel like the times 100 years ago, then of course this is allowed, even a drop nicer. But, it should not be the way they walk today. All those that walk today, it looks like hair for sure and this is definitely assur, this nobody was mattir.…A woman with the hair of today the way she walks, it’s mamish ervah, it looks like hair, there is no ….no heter difference, regarding this there is”There is a clear reason why married women cover their hair and it’s all about modesty.
The reason that the Torah prohibits a married woman to reveal her hair is the following:
אסור גלוי הראש אינו אלא משום פריצות דגברי -תרומת הדשן
The prohibition of revealing one’s hair is because hair is Pritzus. Since the hair of a married woman is attractive to another man and can cause him to sin, it must be covered. All the Rishonim and Achronim have said that this is the reason that a woman must cover her hair in public. (For many sources on this Divrei Shalom is a great resource.)
Rav Falk writes in his pamphlet Mitzvos Kisui Saaros that “The Torah requires a married women to conceal her hair from the eyes of the public in order to lessen attraction to herself.” (page 7)
He continues: “An unmarried maiden may attract attention to herself (within the boundaries of tznius) so that she is sought after and eventually marries (Ta’anis 13a and Kesubos 52b). Similarly, a man may look at a girl and take an interest in her appearance, chein, mannerisms etc. if he is considering her for marriage for himself or someone else. A married woman may, however, neither attract attention to herself (Kesubos 73a Rashi v.s. Sahara. See also Rosh and Ritvo) nor may a man take an interest in the appearance of an eishes ish, as she is unavailable to everyone but her husband.
For this reason the hair of a girl may be seen, whilst the hair of a married woman, which is naturally a major source of attraction to her, must be covered and hidden from the eye of the public. Accordingly, for a married woman to wear a head covering that easily passes as her own hair, defeats the very function of this mitzvah, since a man seeing her can think that he is seeing her own hair and be attracted by it, especially when he does not know who she is and whether she is married or not.
A similar but different reason why just a married woman must cover her hair is based on the verse “stolen waters are sweet” (Mishlei 9:17). Due to this phenomenon there is a special yetzer hora towards a married woman since she is an eishes ish (see Sanhedrin 75a and Avoda Zarah 20a). The mitzvah of kisui sa’aros was given to lessen attraction to such a person and safeguard Kedushas Yisroel. See Oz Vehadar Levusha, page 265 that in numerous places in the Torah hair is highlighted as a major source of attraction. Accordingly, by commanding the married woman to withhold from the public how she looks in her true hair, there is far less danger of a person being drawn to her and Kedushas Yisroel is guaranteed.
It’s very clear that since hair is so attracting to men and it is therefore required to be covered after marriage, the less the head covering resembles hair the better the mitzvah of kisui Rosh is being fulfilled- with the Tichel being the ideal as it doesn’t resemble hair at all. If a sheitel looks like hair it beautifies the woman wearing it and that goes against the entire purpose of the mitzvah of kisui Rosh. As it says in Rabbi Falk’s sefer Oz vehadar levusha: “Hair was given the status of ervah by Chazal because when part of a female that should be covered is uncovered it can affect a man who sees it and cause him to feel attracted to it.” (page 228)
Today’s wigs all look natural and all look just like a woman’s hair, usually nicer. They beautify the married woman making her much more attractive to men, which contradicts the entire purpose of the mitzvah of kisui rosh.I know many women (of all ages and backgrouds) who are rejecting the wig in favor or tichels.
In fact I know a youngish woman (in her 40s) who wore a tichels to her childs wedding recently. She looked dignified, modest and married.
Many others are doing the same and recognizing the sheitel madness of today.
Hashem most certainly did not intend for married Jewish women to be covering their hair in this manner and unfortunately the wigs are making a massive Chillul Hashem. Wigs are all the rage in Hollywood now and actresses and celebrities wear them all the time- certainly not for modesty. It is a total joke to be covering hair with someone else’s gorgeous “hair” for “modesty” and pay thousands for this sheker. Let’s call a spade a spade- Jewish women are wearing wigs today for vanity and honor, soley for fashion and beauty. Such a distortion of an important commandment whose sole purpose is to elevate the modesty level of the married Jewish woman. The wigs today do the exact oppositeGaon- new info has surfaced about tonsuring and different Rabbanim are currently relooking at the topic- both here and in Israel.
The monk you quoted from is an intellectual who lectures at various universities. The “reform indians” lehavdil are quick to describe the tonsuring process as a “shedding of the ego” and all about “humility” and a “purification process” so their religion doesn’t sound barbaric and is westernized to make it palatable for Americans. This is actually not the belief of most indian pilgrims who tonsure. They believe that their idol loves hair, wants their hair and accepts their hair. The cut hair is not considered impure and some pilgrims will even bring hair in to the temple to place it in the Hundi (a container which contains money and valuables given as an offering to the AZ) inside the temple itself. The tonsuring hall is considered a holy place, many have images of idols inside and the tonsuring is not a purification process before entering the temple- it is its own distinct act of worship. If it was a purification process everyone would have to tonsure before entering the temple- and they are not required to do so. They have to bathe before entering the temple.
One of the largest temples in India is the Tirumala Venkateswara Temple located in Tirupati which is operated by the trust board Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanams (TTD). Most of the hair for the world wigs and extensions are sourced from this temple (over 12 million pilgrims tonsure there a year and about 40% are women- that’s a lot of hair). They have websites with TTD news and books available for anyone to read. They say (among many other indian temple websites) that the main religious reason for the tonsuring is the story Chacham stated previously- their AZ lost some hair when someone axed him on the head and another AZ gave her hair to replace it. Since that time anyone who tonsures their hair in Tirumala recieves the AZ blessings and all their hair is accepted by the AZ. There are seven sacred hills in Tirumaka and one of them is even named after this AZ that gave her hair.
Rav Dunner learned all this when he actually went down to India- his findings were correct which is why Rav Elyashiv ruled that this hair is forbidden to be used