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Asking for a raise is the natural Hishtadlus a person should put into their everyday efforts. Whether you get the raise or not is up to Hashem.
Thanks Choppy. You’re so right. It seems the ones who are angry at me for bringing this up, instead of realizing how,others are being caused to sin thru certain peoples behavior, is indicative of issues they themselves have. As a mother of sons I’m concerned and also I really feel sorry for the women who don’t realize how many Aveiros they’re causing themselves and others who see them. Too bad not everyone’s as honest and rational as you, Choppy.
I have boys and they love ball games. When I went to a cyclones game in Brooklyn I was very upset when I saw their cheerleaders who are all over the stands constantly. It’s a problem but how can you tell sons they can never go to a game they love?
Just to clear up, I know my husband is addicted not just ‘looking like so many other men do’. Long b4 I found all the filthy sites he visited I already knew there’s a problem because he was always on Internet even just doing innocent things, work, news, weather, etc. too much time on I telnet, always checking his email, unwilling to do anything else at home with his free time, always on the computer, he can’t stop. He takes his device everywhere, in the car, on shopping trips, errands, Simchas, everywhere and he doesn’t think it’s weird or wrong. He explains it’s so useful for whatever you need, instead of gps, to look up info, phone numbers, etc. always an excuse why he needs it with him. I know he’s not looking at bad things all the time bt he needs his device all the time, so I know he’s addicted to Inteernet, not necessarily only to pornography. I have no doubt he’s addicted. I see compulsive behavior in other areas of his life too but he laughs it off and says things wrong with him, something’s wrong with me.
Does anyone know of any addiction counselors in the n.y. Area?
Thanks a lot again to everyone here fr all the caring and good advice. The problem is that we don’t even have a regular computer in the house but my husband has a portable device and also a smart phone and he says he just can’t have filters on his portable device because it cuts off too many things he must have for work. Also I went to a professional technology person to learn more about filter choices for my husband but he says that the portable device my husband has isn’t able to have monitoring on it. So now he has no filters and says he can put one on but will need the password in case it holds him back from being able to get to a work-needed site! I know it’s probably baloney but theres some truth that filters do block out even needed sites because my filter is very annoying in that way. But the real problem is his device is not monitoring-friendly. So how can I in any way force himto protect his device? I also did confront him about using the Internet too much without saying the sites I saw he visited so he knows I’m saying he has a problem but he denies he uses it too much or that it’s a problem. I keep suggesting getting help and he says he doesn’t need it,
My mom used to make chicken feet as a fricasee with all the other chicken parts and lots of garlic and stuff…yum. Remember those little toes?
Hi all. I am the person this thread was started about. Thanks a lot for all the good advice and thoughts. It was all very helpful but the main problem is I was tolls by a very prominent gadol not to tell my husband what I found on his co outer because he will be so filled with feeling of shame that he will see now way out but leaving the marriage. I told him in a general way that he uses computer too much , mostly at night and for too long and that it seems to me it became an addiction. He will not get help. He refuses. I am feeling like I lost my best friend, the person who was my partner, the man I trusted. I am devastated. I cannot look at him in the same way anymore. He told me lies to continue his bad habit. I always looked at him as a very honest person. Now I don’t. I was told these addictions make them lie to cover itup but that isn’t helping me to feel better. Thank you everyone here for caring and supporting me with your words.