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  • in reply to: Whats "fashion" #865018

    IMO Fashion can be a fun form of creative self expression. I am a Frum Fashion Maven blogger BTW…

    I believe that is important to always keep in mind that Tznius and fashionable CAN go hand in hand! We have to look good and look after ourselves (it is good for mental health and shalom bayis) Personally, the goal for me is that my clothing reflect my taste and personality but in a dignified manner.

    Via my blog I have had B’H the amazing experience to get a e-mails from 2 new BT girls plus their mothers in South America (argentina and brazil) who got inspired to go “all the way frum” by my posts ,the mum of one told me she was scared her child was going to grow up to wear a shapeless burka and that seeing a frum woman looking “normal” yet covered gave her relief…She also asked me if I shaved my head…LOL!

    Fashion can be used to enhance the beauty and honour of being a Jewish woman….or become a sorry excuse for girls/women with middos issues to indulge in competitive behaviours, the choice is in the hands of the users.

    Also IME , looking nice does not have to cost a bundle or be all about wearing designer brands…IMO, the best looks are created by pairing high and low pieces , I even thrift/gemach shop!

    Learn the halacha be happy with yourself and your tznius style (no need for a clone look) and learn to ignore the haters who thrive by staring down at others .

    Now back to cleaning after my messy little chametz vectors!! …..

    in reply to: Very disturbing, please only kind people read. #842256

    Hugs!! sounds like he is a time bomb and in a really bad place! B’H your child is fine. …but consider it a FREE ONE TIME PASS, time to step it up , get help and get the kids TO SAFETY FAST. take a picture of this injury . CALL SHALOM TASK FORCE !

    head injuries are no joke , you could be holding a dead child right now ! has v chalila lo aleinu. All the best and may Hashem grant you wisdom and strength to protect your precious children.

    in reply to: Anyone ever hear of a Simchat Bat? #834671


    Zebed Habat is a sephardic custom! Many groups have mesorah in this , It has nothing to do with feminism or conservatives or whatever…. It is a lovely simcha to have and people celebrate according to their means so some are simple and some quite lavish. I agree with that poster who said live and let live, B’H for both Boys and girls being born.

    This is from a texbook I own , Plus I’m a mixed of different sephardim (portuguese,persian,spanish & my husband has syrian french roots)

    Syrians name girls at their kehilla chanting pizmonim lezebed habat.

    A sabt (kiddush) and seudah are provided in honor of the naming for family and friends.

    Morrocans name the girl at home. they recite pizmonim entitled biti kodesh shamati or hakol yashuv lefar. seuda taks place after the ceremony.Judeo spanish tradition call it Fadas or zebet habat it is held at home Shir hashirim and mishaberach is said. Seuda to follow.

    Spanish and Portuguese jews :do a zebed habat by having a private ceremony at shul ,mum does hagomel , hazzan blesses the child. follow by shi hamaalot ashrei kol yerei hashem (tehillim 128)

    Source A treasury of Sephardic laws and Customs Herbert C.dobrinski ktav Press 1988

    Pages 3,10,20,25.

    *In my family Persian side we salt girls before naming ,it was done to babies in the ancient times. : )

    in reply to: Help Me Forgive #971372

    BTW I was a victim of abuse and was never asked for mechila ,I’m pasing a long what helped me grow and heal and live good life B”H! ALL is from Hashem and after 120 we see it all is a test.

    in reply to: Help Me Forgive #971371

    You think about how by forgiving people: your neshama is cleansed ,you go up one madreiga and Adquire great merit for yourself . Every person is a shliach from Hashem and the hardest mitzvos are the source of the greatest reward. By not forgiving the person 100% you become attached to the attribute of din ….you become an accuser like the Satan lo Aleinu and liabable for punishment for delaying redemption like in the kamsa and bar kamsa story were one party refused to let go of hatred.

    Please hasten our redemption and free youself .

    in reply to: What Should I Do? Earlobe Infection…=( #812881

    A soothing natural remedy is to freeze wet green tea bags and use them as a compress on the infected area. coat your fake earrings with clear polish before using.

    in reply to: "intellectual stimulation" #813197

    I LOVE looking after my children and home.

    (I was raised by a staff of 5 and KNOW you can’t pay someone to care like a parent!)

    I take my “job” as a “Soul builder” very seriously ,no nanny can do what I do with the same love and devotion or be trusted to uphold my values and standards .

    The ugly truth is that women have been socialized and pressured to look down on our role of full time mothers and the “Lack of intellectual stimulation” is a trusted PC excuse some use to convince themselves that being unhappy at home makes them “superior”. It is hard work but it is the best job.

    Everyday I LEARN Torah shiurim while doing my chores and at the end of the day I talk to my husband and compare insights ,It gives me “chat material” beyond the kids.

    Keeping Yourself “stimulated” is your task as a mother and should not come at the expense of children raised by goyot so you can feel “smarter”!

    * If a woman must work or support a TALENTED Talmid Chacham husband then is a different story and they have my respect and admiration !

    But those “ladies of leisure” who simple do it for THEIR intellectual stimulation are abdicating their blessing for ego and risking their long term bond with their children and missing out on the great task of building the world.

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