e.tova

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  • in reply to: Israeli Parenting style vs the US. #2105952
    e.tova
    Participant

    “if your situation requires you to send your toddler shopping for you then you have too many kids to handle.”

    And that is exactly the point. Hashem gives us kids so we will take care of them. If a person is not willing to either 1. wait til the next day to get something from the store or 2. ask an older kid or neighbor to pick something up from the store, then they are clearly not willing to take on the responsibility of caring for a small child. If my 5-y-o daughter has a playdate (I live in Israel), I have to drop her off, pick her up, and I have to tell the mother of the house “I do not permit my daughter to go playing outside without adult supervision.” I’m still shocked I have to say this at all! Israel is not safe, the US is not safe, nowhere is safe enough for a small kid to go around on their own. Either the people who are being reckless with their children’s lives are living in denial, or they are simply lazy. There’s also chinuch issues. If these little kids are outside playing without adult supervision, how are they going to learn good middos? It’s a situation of “the blind leading the blind.”

    in reply to: Israeli Parenting style vs the US. #2099488
    e.tova
    Participant

    I meant “I do not let my young kids go around WITHOUT adult supervision”

    in reply to: Israeli Parenting style vs the US. #2099482
    e.tova
    Participant

    I live in Israel and I can verify this is a general parenting style. I see kids as young as 2 (yes, 2) in the park unsupervised by any adult, or supervised by an older sibling (who is too busy playing with their friends to actually watch or take responsibility for their younger brother or sister). I see 4 year olds walking to gan by themselves. “Street kids.” It’s lazy, naive, and to me, shocking. I do not let my young kids go around with adult supervision (and the adult has to be “approved” by me). I have had countless experiences of people in my neighborhood calling around saying “Has anyone seen my 2-y-o? They were in the park earlier and have disappeared. Please daven!” How about “Please do hishtadlus and take responsibility for the many kids you insist on having?” If your kid wants to go to the park, you go with them, or you pay out for a responsible babysitter. Growing up in England, I was never allowed to go around on my own that young. This is something I happen to feel very strongly about, and I’m constantly going against the grain in my neighborhood by insisting on dropping off and picking up my kids from gan and every playdate rather than walking home on their own. Do people think the world is safe, or something? It’s not.

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