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Refraining from causing tzaar to the countless girls is more important than going to Israel for 3 years while being single. You can go after you’re married.
“Unfortunately divorce rates in the Frum community are on the rise. I believe this is because many people are not prepared for what marriage is about, and have false expectations. When those expectations aren’t met, they think they made a mistake, and end things. They don’t realize that divorce won’t solve their misconceptions.”
I think more importantly people are too quick to get engaged/married, to someone who may not be right for them, because they are worried that they chalilah won’t ever get married. If boys dated at 21 there would be no shidduch crisis hence no one worried.
“I think a better solution for the shidduch crisis is remove the arbitrary and ridiculous stigma against dating a girl older than you. The 24 year old guys should be encouraged to date 24 year old girls, and above. Obviously not a 40 year old woman, but a year or two is no big deal, and a 26 year old with G-d’s help can have many children. So that’s no excuse”
Agree 100%!!! This is just a meshugas in the head of marriageable boys and their mothers.
yungerman1
Participant
IMHO, most boys are NOT ready when they turn 21.
Secondly, why not encourage girls to not date until they turn 20-21? This will result in an immediate smaller pool of girls, and hopefully the trend can continueWhat will they do until age 20?
The shidduch crisis is not from Hashem. Hashem lets people go in a bad way if they want to, and by being unreasonably picky, as well as not allowing boys to date until they are 23, we are bringing suffering on ourselves with our own hands. This is not a nisayon from Hashem.
Not having children is a nisayon from Hashem.
This is not.Everyone has to take responsibility for the pain and anguish of another person, let alone thousands and thousands of girls.
Even a girl at 23 years old who is not considered an “older single” (although maybe a Lakewood girl would be), is still going through endless pain and suffering.
Let’s stop this shidduch crisis now.Did anyone ever think that maybe the 21 year old boys are not mature enough because they don’t have to be?
Maybe if they knew they were starting shidduchim at 21 they would be different.
If girls knew that they weren’t starting until 23, they would also act like babies.