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It always feels like a man has more rights because a woman has to be committed to her husband and follow his ways and respect him. But i guess in the kesuba the husband also has rights to his wife. Responsibilities you really can’t compare and measure. He has a responsibility to keep mitzvos, kovea itim etc. Whilst a lady has a responsibility to look after the house, food, kids, finances (this is a probably a dangerous word to say) and looking after him. Woman’s rights etc. is totally non-Jewish so forget about that one. We should be grateful for whatever position Hashem put us in, and if any person was jealous they of opposite gender, I feel sorry for them. gotagoodpoint I am curious to know why you started this thread?!?
Just a funny story I heard about husband/wife rights/responsibilities – the wife and husband were splitting the household roles exactly in half, the husband will have to look after his child the exact same amount of time his wife did!! And the same for cleaning/dinner etc…Sorry I meant I am not enjoying this particular topic on this forum. There is some very good information here. I apologize about not being clear and specific
I long gave up reading this forum because I was quite appalled at the direction of hashkofo it’s taking. However, I do think it is quite amazing that even people who are so far from the truth, still want to follow the ‘yeshiva’ world news. That is a kiddush Hashem in itself. I also do think that some people are having amusement shteching with these negative hashkofos! and finally, I think deep down some of you people are really searching for the truth. You are confused, and this back and forwards is because you want to know the real authentic thing. Shame we don’t have a real rov or godol screening these discussions and giving us the real torahdik hashkofos.
Goldilocks – yes that’s what we were told about giraffes LOL! Kuvult – you are touching a very controversial sensitive topic. Probably no one has the right answer – however we can try. They say that nowadays the generation is much weaker and therefore they can’t stay strong being exposed to more open backgrounds. And more so – because immorality is so open and accessible to the public because of internet, it can effect a person’s mind forever. So yes, I prefer to keep my children super protected.
Just another note for clarification, I didn’t know you are meant to judge a person favorably as a child. So it’s two different points here. Not judging in first place. And if you are judging to do it favorably. So yes I have a lot to work on, it’s good, because we are all in this world to grow on different things.
Maybe i should give a bit more clarification on what I meant to judge. I used to think it’s accepted and normal to look around you and analyse other people. more than just dress, and not people I know well. That guy looks sad, bet you he had a fight with his spouse. That guy looks like a shlump, he doesn’t know how to look after himself. That child is always running around on the streets, where are his parents, his home must be dysfunctional. So yes of course when we do judge it should be favorably. but who said we should be looking around and analysing other people and their personal lives? The ideal would be to look at the person and say he has a neshoma, we don’t understand, we don’t have a clue what’s going on in his life, how can we even judge… Maybe judging and favorably is more for people we know in a personal way, doing/saying something we don’t expect of them.
I used to think it’s okay to judge people from the way they look, he dresses that way so he must be bad! And anyway who said we should judge in the first place?? I also didn’t ‘know’ that you are meant to give people benefit of doubt, I knew the concept, but never in reality. I still stumble and struggle in these areas, but we’re getting there! I just heard from Rabbi Weinberger yesterday a cute saying that was so relevant to exactly this point, ‘people who judge don’t understand, and people who understand don’t judge’. Shame I didn’t learn this as a child but that’s the journey
Thank you for helping me to be less envious of people with older kids. I am at the overwhelming stage where I didn’t have a spare second for myself. I was on my feet almost all day, feeding hungry kids, playing, keeping them happy, putting them to nap, taking them on trips etc. It was so hard not to feel connected enough to Hashem and the chag of Pesach but that is because I am more spiritual personality. Each person enjoys different things – depending on personality. Some people like being more holy, others like reading, socializing, meditation as someone mentioned. Maybe now is the time to figure out what you like and do it in the spirit of Yom Tov as much as you can. I love reading so read the book “let my nation go” just for a few minutes here and there or at 1am when falling asleep in my bed really inspired me! I am still reading it and getting inspired after Yom Tov, to actually recover from all that hard work! good luck!