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A Gutte voch! I have had some Ikea experience and would highly recommend the following few tips: 1. Don’t go by yourself! Take at least one more person, preferably someone who has been through the place before and understands the Ikea purchasing system. It will be a great benefit that you have been there once before, so you CAN get through the whole place much faster the second time around. You’ll know exactly where to go…. as long as you did previously record the name and model of the products that you are looking for. So, essentially you could go straight to the warehouse section and find the boxed products that you want. Number two, be sure that you are prepared to follow their interesting Swedish pictorial assembly instructions, because you need to assemble these products yourself. Sometimes they get rather complicated and it’s easier to arrange an order where you pay for someone else to assemble the products. In israel, this happens at your home, and so you can even decide to do that after you bring the item home and see for yourself just how easy or complicated that particular assembly might be. 3. DO NOT get the broom and dustpan set!!! They are cute but they are duds and they break very soon. That is my other experience.
lots of luck and enjoy your Ikea experience meatballs or not.
I want to marry a Japanese woman. She’d be gracious, respectful, serve great food…and my mother-in-law would live in Tokyo! [Hat tip to Henny Youngman]
RebYid, they used to play this game togther: Nauga Hide and Noah Seek. That simple.
Ol’ Noah he was a Noahide
And he was good friend o’ mine.
Never believed a single word he said,
While he built that Ark out of pine, Lord, Lord,
And he really made some mighty fine wine.
Singin’ Joy to the world
Alllll Noah’s boys and girls
Joy to the fishies in the deep blue see
But there ain’t no joy for me, Lord Lord
I’m down to the bottom of the sea.
Well, you can be a Noahide now,
Only seven things you gotta do!
You can still have your Micky-D’s and Saturday cartoons,
And Heaven will be waitin’ for you, Lord. Lord.
Yeah, you got no need to be a Jew.
And you’ll be singin’ Joy to the World —
Alll Noah’s boys and girls
Joy to the fishies in the deep blue see,
And Joy to Noahide ME!
Ol’ Noah he was a Noahide
And he was good friend o’ mine.
Well, I should have believed every word he said,
And I could have survived just fine, Lord, Lord,
And enjoyed Ol’ Noah’s Wine —
And he really made some mighty fine wine.
I stick with Vegan leather and have a bumper sticker that announces “I break for Naugas.” PS I heard there is one Noahide hit, entitled something like: “Keep Just Seven, Get to Heaven.” It’s a single.
Pringles, I’m joining this a bit late, but there is a big world out there and it’s filled with pressing matters, not the least of which is a zany-insaney assortment of people who may have done better if they had parents with the right kind of control in their lives. That being said, I am looking at the wording of your question, and it is an impossible non-question if you are the teenager, as follows: what will you do with your answer? If you get all kinds of feedback which tells you that by-and-large parents of teenagers should loosen up and let teenagers make their own decisions and stop being so “overbearing” and “controlling,” what are you going to do with that, huh? Are you going to march with your laptop over to your overbearing parents (who may have done anything from locking you in your room for 3 days to saying, No, you cannot stay up all night listening to heavy metal with the windows open, to asking you to inform them – Hashem yerachem – where you are going and with whom) – and show them these responses on this thread and yell at them “See?!?! Ess shteit in Coffee Room! You need to get off my back!” And if everyone tends toward answers that support strict parenting will you run away? Jump out a window? Cry? Why is this a forum where you feel you will find answers to your pressing worries about your relationship with your parents? I would be shocked if this was written by a parent of a teenager, and if so – delete all of the above (except for the part about this not exactly being a heilige and authoritative source for life’s big questions) and suggest that you as parents – who pay the bills, POST BAIL, feed the child, cover tuition and clothing etc, can make all the rules you feel you need to make, find out what abuse constitutes and don’t go there, and make sure to communicate a lot of respect and trust, as well as open, accepting channels of discussion in which you encourage the teen to begin to feel the weight of making mature decisions. A teen who has been in a dorm should not confuse him/herself with a 35 year old who has been through life and learned from it, mistakes and all. So assert yourself as parents, but begin infusing “chacham einov berosho” thoughts. You need to be very open and straight with your teen about things you are worried about and be sure you are not too overboard neurotic, but that is kind of hard to achieve in this crazy world…
“To be is to do.” – Socrates
“To do is to be.” – Sartre
“Scoo bee do be do.” – Sinatra
“Toot toot.” – Harpo Marx
“the future ain’t what it used to be.” – Yogi Berra
“It is impossible to underestimate the intelligence of the average human being.” – Jean Shepherd
BTW, IMHO a raven is like a writing desk because E. A. Poe sat before both for extended periods of time, high on something that made him hear one talk and the other creak.
You’re not gonna be extremely impressed. But facts are facts, ahem. So…A hill is an inclined plane,and an inclined plan is a slope up. And a slope up – that is, a slow pup – is a…
As for Bullfrogs and potato chips, I think I might opt for Scared Driver D’s answer. Mine was a little harder to “stomach,” something about the very thin, flat ones that got run over on country roads. Nevva mnid, yuk yuk. Or yuck yuck, as you prefer 🙂
Well, takahmamash, you sealed it. Now there will be no more guesses. Too bad. I was going to mention that the proposed question brings to mind two more eternal puzzles: why a hill is like a lazy d0og, and why a bullfrog is like a potato chip. Both of these, by the way, have real answers.
Joseph – i was about to acknowledge your correction. But after a bit I now wonder if a Mrs. Mrs. D addressing someone as a Mr. K might just be a little too familiar??? Hmmm…
As for your detailed discourse on the topic of appellations of old, yes, you got it right, and admirably. I was being general. As for the nudge about caps and lower case – hey – don’t start with somebody who edits for a living, ok? I was capitalizing as one does, for emphasis. As for whether i am indeed the husband or the wife of the Mrs. D family, may I just say – at the risk of causing coffee to be spurted out from a few noses – that one who knows doesn’t tell and one who tells doesn’t know. I actually enjoyed your rejoinders to those who attempt to title you. Maybe you should stick to Sir Avi.
I believe in the good-old days of talmudic yore, men were called “Mar,” women “Marah,” or “Bayit.” Many cultures show respect to women without familiarity such as calling woman “Aunty” or some variation of that. As for me, from now on, I would like all responders of the opposite gender to refer to me as “MRS-MRS.” D., thank you very much. That should do it.
**Soothing = Something, sorry
Mimzee, Doing teshuva based on a false premise is soothing like doing teshuva when having witnessed a miracle. No staying power — it wears off, and it is not teshuva as it came from pachad or a temporary sense of awe, not a commitment to change or to cling to truth. In the case of a miracle, the effect wears off, and the conviction peters out. In the case of a false vision, which includes predictions of actual dates and events, watch the dates pass or the events take different turns, and the not-very faith-based teshuva is replaced by disillusionment. That is worse. There was never a sincere commitment. That is the underlying problem here, and that is why people care enough to analyze it.
See the video of Rabbi Mintz from Yeshiva of Staten Island and Oorah fame, asked about this in a Q&A session. He says every few years one of these characters pops up. They might have been delirious or hallucinating (lekaf zechus, as opposed to setting up an attention-getting hoax) but it is not something to believe. Dismissed, the end. I would also like to add the principle of Lo bashamayim he, which means it is not important to hold by the info from someone reporting from Shamayim even if it did happen, because our source for behavior and conduct and belief is Torah MiSinai.
There is obviously a world to learn from and be inspired by from these two giants, and I am not from either persuasion, just a mevakesh Emes. If following their philosophies and teachings helps the followers grow as Yiddin, kol hakavod, though some of those mantras really irk me and of course i am fairly 200% certain that those Rebbes would not even remotely approve. On the other hand – case in point – I have a relative who was brought up to be a loyal Chabadste, and later on also became a fan of Mahara”n…but at one point in her life was struggling with some real problems that needed real guidance. Tired of going to the Ohel and davening her heart out, to doing/saying segulos and the like, she finally went and planted herself in the office of a presently reigning tzaddik who could actually advise and help her. Said she, “I am tired of going to dead Rebbes. I have to go to a living one at this point.”
Really, DaasYochid? Offended? I’m trying to understand – unless that was tongue-in-cheek – is it because you suspect the motives? Do you feel like someone is trying to be irritatingly mekarev you? Or that you might just be a part of skripjka’s statistical study? I’d actually like to hear you expand on your comment.
And may I add a girls’ team: The Bais Yankev Tznius Buttons. They hit it over the mechitza!!! (and their uniforms – pleated to perfection)
With apologies to Daas Yachid: Williamsburger Veissa Zocken (’cause I thought of it four years ago);Meah Shearim Gatekeepers; Flatbush Frei-ers; Kensington Kosher Dills; Philly Cholov Yisroel Creamers.
To Scared Driver Delight: COJO and JMWWTKTPB — Would that be, Committee of Jewish Outfielders and Jewish Mothers Who Want to Keep Torah Plus Baseball?May 7, 2015 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm in reply to: Should the wishes of racist parents that I not date their child be respected? #1076327
OK, I feel I must chime in again. I am actually astounded at the number of posts by people who are not ashamed to spout their ignorant biases. And by intelligent people who raise such illogical parallels. However, BH,”Shidduchproblem,” you can also sift through all these messages and find you have broad-minded friends and supporters. As with any and all issues which can be PERCEIVED as disadvantages, it does help you figure out who your friends are. Same with people with handicaps, stutterers, BT backgrounds…the issues which people can harp on and look down on are as diverse as life itself. May I make a little-known announcement that may actually make a whole slew of these posters fall down in a dead faint and maybe doubt their own Judaism, inasmuch as we are required to pledge allegiance daily to 13 attributes of faith which includes belief in MOshe Rabbeinu as being our unparalleled leader and Navi, who brought us our Torah (our LAW for LIVING folks)Will you people be able to do this wholeheartedly after learning of this fact?!: Moshe Rabbeinu (drum roll…try to breathe…) was married to a black woman!!! Ok, she wasn’t part Indian, but always remember the bright side, Mr. Shidduchproblem: In the USA you as a Native American are entitled to free higher education and so will all your kids be entitled. Maybe mention that to your perspective in-laws and see if money talks. Otherwise, in all seriousness, make sure your potential kallah can really emotionalluy handle this conflict, and plan to live far away form the I-L’s. hatzlacha.May 4, 2015 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm in reply to: Should the wishes of racist parents that I not date their child be respected? #1076263
Joseph: Obviously your statement is specious, as sometimes it does mean that! And other times it has to do with the recognition of cultural conflicts. But if you took the time to note what the bachur asked, he said, he is culturally on track with them, keeping mainstream ashkenazik customs, and he is FFb, not a convert. Very mainstream, and if we are to take him at his word, the girl’s parents are in arms because they SAID they do not want non-white grandchildren. Yes, sorry , that is simply biased and irrational.May 4, 2015 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm in reply to: Should the wishes of racist parents that I not date their child be respected? #1076261
I think the successes of my children’s marriages is because after all the checking up and background vetting, ultimately we recognized that we should not control the final choice, but rather support our child in seeking his/her soulmate – not someone we idealized at fantasy level, but someone who would create a harmonious and Torah-dik bayis ne’eman according to their natures as individuals. It works! From your vantage point, it looks like you feel you can do this with the girl in question. But how well do you really know this girl? Here is what you may not realize you may be in store for: a young girl who is easily defying her parents right now, because of the Romeo-Juliet effect, but a little further down the road, capitulating to the parents’ control issues. Maybe not only in terms of accepting you , but there could be a lot more control issues going on. The parents as you describe them are not entirely rational or fair, but too image-conscious. Will you be willing to handle interesting scenes coming up in the future where her side of the family has a simcha and drops hints that she should come but you should find something else to do that night? Or if you go visit, please stay in the house – don’t go walking down the street together and make a busha? At the very least, get pre-nuptial couple’s counseling, even a couple of sessions, by someone frum, and then plan to live very far from the in-laws. When bez”H there are grandchildren, things may change, if you can be patient, but without properly preparing and equipping yourself with strategies via the counseling, your poor wife may get really disturbed by being always in the middle between her husband and her parents. Of course you can bypass their approval, but prepare yourselves, to avoid these messy scenarios.
Well obviously they are. Every sock has at least one hole. Otherwise how are you going to get your foot in there?