It�s that time of year again.�The time when many of us are attending the graduation ceremonies of family and friends.�Yes, I know.�Graduation is supposed to be a climactic event.�It�s supposed to be a celebration of achievements,� the start of bright new beginnings, a time to reflect on the past and look forward to the future.�Sounds wonderful, doesn�t it?�So why do I hate to go?�
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At graduation, individual students are singled out for excellence. Awardees are named.� Honorees are called out. Valedictorians are delivering their speeches. And I just sit there and cringe.

While all this is going on, I wonder what the fellow graduates are thinking.� In a perfect world, these students would understand that their friends are being honored because of superior achievement.�� But this is not a perfect world and I don�t see that happening.� Instead,� I see yet another opportunity for jealousy and envy.

What is the purpose of this ritual?� Why does the whole world need to know who the best students are?� Believe me, these kids know it already.� Their classmates know it.� Their parents certainly know it.� And probably so do their bubbies and zaydies.� Is it so important for the rest of us to know it too?�

You want to single out the best students?� Do it in a private forum during school hours, with just the teachers and classmates attending.� Don�t do it in front of every other bubbie in the class.� They want to shep some nachas too.

I know people who will never forget the disappointment and embarrassment they felt at their own graduation because they were deprived of some obscure honor which they had hoped to receive.� I know students who sat there and watched one classmate after another accept accolades and praise, and it bothers them years later.� Is this what graduation is all about?

I know what you�re thinking.� Grow up.� This is life.� Not everyone can be the best.� And you�re right. There will always be the superachievers and the ones who �make it�.�� I�m not saying that superior achievement shouldn�t be recognized.� I�m just not sure that it should be recognized at this public forum.� Especially when we�re already up to our necks with young people who suffer from low self esteem.

Most of us will agree that jealousy is a major issue plaguing our community.� Jealousy destroys.� You can be jealous of someone�s house and car, but you can just as well be jealous of his/her talents and brains.� So why are we fanning the flames?� Why create an atmosphere of ill will, especially when it�s unnecessary?� You want a class representative to make a presentation?� Fine.� But why single out ten or twenty individuals for excellence� while another twenty are sitting and squirming in their seats?

I�m aware that some schools are adjusting their graduation programs, and I salute them for making this decision.� I�ve been to one graduation where every single girl was cited for her achievements.� Every one.� You couldn�t tell, unless you really paid attention, who the superstars were.�� It showed tremendous sensitivity on the part of the administration.� It also showed that they recognized the strengths and abilities of every girl, whether she was a good student or not.� If only others would follow their lead.

I look forward to the day when every student will walk away from graduation smiling, really smiling.� Not the fake kind of plastered on smile.� But the genuine smile of someone who feels good about himself/herself.�� Maybe then I�ll finally enjoy going to graduation.

(M. L. – YWN)