The past few months have seen extensive discussion about the shidduch challenges facing our community, particularly the growing number of older single girls having difficulty finding their shidduch. Many go for long stretches without dates, and behind each situation is a real family experiencing difficulty.

There’s been much conversation about the age gap, and we’ve seen encouraging movement from roshei yeshivos and rabbanim to restructure when younger bochurim start shidduchim. However, there’s one angle that hasn’t been fully explored: What about encouraging boys – and their mothers – to be more open to dating girls who are older than them?

Obviously, you cannot dictate whom someone should marry. But perhaps as age flexibility becomes increasingly normalized, it could help address this challenge. The truth is, many boys have already done this – it’s simply a matter of making this more common.

What if we developed a campaign showcasing the viewpoints, perspectives, and experiences of couples where the wife is older than the husband? Having them share how their marriages have worked out could be powerful.

We could feature anonymous perspectives from these couples, plus examples from respected rabbinic figures where the wife is older. Combined with relevant Torah sources, this could form an awareness campaign that helps normalize age flexibility in shidduchim.

If you or someone you know is part of such a marriage, your story could help change perspectives. We’re collecting experiences from couples or relatives of couples in these situations.

https://form.jotform.com/252146477073156

This anonymous form takes just a minute to complete. Your contribution could show our community that these marriages work beautifully and perhaps help open minds that could change lives.

Sincerely,

D.S.

The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.