Experts in Australia are advising parents to ask their infants for consent before changing their diapers. Yes, you read that correctly: request permission from a baby to swap out a soiled nappy.

According to a new report from researchers at Deakin University, diaper changes should no longer be a quick, no-nonsense task. Instead, parents are encouraged to engage in a full-blown dialogue with their newborns. The guide suggests that before changing the diaper, parents should kneel down to their baby’s level, inform them that a change is needed, and wait for a response. Apparently, facial expressions and body language are the new go-to for consent, even though most babies are still mastering the art of eye contact, let alone facial expressions that communicate “yes” or “no.”

But it doesn’t stop there. The report goes on to suggest that parents should then offer their babies a choice in how the diaper change takes place: “Do you want to walk or crawl to the changing table, or would you like me to carry you?” This advice conveniently ignores the fact that, in most cases, infants have neither the ability to walk nor the strength to crawl, much less to participate in a decision-making process.

This new-age approach to diaper changing is part of the growing “gentle parenting” movement, which emphasizes open communication with even the youngest of children. The researchers argue that involving babies in the diaper change process helps them learn about consent and body autonomy. Because nothing says “you have control over your body” like asking an infant to give the green light for a diaper change they don’t even know is happening.

And if that weren’t enough, the report suggests that parents avoid distracting their little ones with toys, songs, or rattles during the process. Instead, they should focus on making sure the baby notices when someone is touching their most intimate parts. After all, who wouldn’t want to pause mid-diaper change for a serious discussion on bodily autonomy with a crying, squirming infant?

The advice also suggests using anatomically correct terms for private body parts during the diaper-changing routine, which may be a bit much for a baby who still hasn’t learned to say “mama” or “dada.”

While some experts argue that this practice is intended to lay the groundwork for future conversations about consent, many parents are left wondering if they’ll soon need to file consent forms before each diaper change. One can only imagine the scene: “Excuse me, baby, I know you’re busy being adorable and incapable of speech, but can I please change your diaper now?”

In the end, this new advice seems like an attempt to complicate a task that, for the most part, is just a simple necessity of caring for an infant. Asking for consent from a baby who doesn’t yet understand what a diaper is, let alone what “consent” means, seems like the kind of suggestion that’s destined to leave many parents scratching their heads—while desperately trying to finish the diaper change before their baby rolls off the table.

(YWN World Headquarters – NYC)