Recently, there has been much discussion in our community about troubling trends—excessive drinking among our youth, and widespread talking during davening. These are not isolated behaviors, nor are they the root of the issue. They are symptoms. They reflect hearts that feel disconnected, souls that lack a deep, personal relationship with Hashem.
For many, the struggle begins at a young age. Children are often measured by test scores, memorization, and academic achievement. Too frequently, worth is defined by “who learns the most” or “who performs the best.” With constant comparison comes pressure, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy. These feelings can develop into unhealthy coping mechanisms, including depression, self-destructive behavior, and eventually, excessive drinking. And when a child does not feel spiritually connected, davening may feel empty, leading to distraction and conversation.
If we want real change, we must address the root. Emunah must be taught early—before a child opens a Chumash or a Mishnah. Before knowledge, there must be identity. Every child must know: You are precious. Your neshama is beloved by Hashem. You have a unique mission in this world that no one else can fulfill.
These truths are not dependent on IQ, talents, learning level, or family background. They are the foundation of who we are as Yidden.
For this reason, our educators and community leaders must take responsibility. We need a formal Emunah curriculum that teaches children their worth, their relationship with Hashem, and the purpose of their individual mission. A program like this would cultivate joy, emotional resilience, and a strong spiritual core that carries a child through life’s challenges.
This is especially vital in a generation where so many feel unhappy, empty, or disconnected. When a child grows up knowing they matter—knowing they are seen, loved, and purposeful—they are far less likely to fall into despair or unhealthy behavior. Strengthening Emunah at a young age will uplift not only individual children, but the entire community. It will raise a generation that is spiritually grounded, emotionally strong, and filled with meaning.
Every child is a light. Every child has a mission. By planting Emunah at the earliest age, we help our children grow into confident, spiritually vibrant Jews who bring joy, holiness, and purpose into the world.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Member of the Community
The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.
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16 Responses
Beautifully written!
It’s a wonderful thing to implant in all from when they’re young.
Still, it won’t be enough to counteract the strong messages of not measuring up when their brain learns differently than is being taught or when they can’t sit/focus as long or can’t memorize.
Changes must be made within the system for so many children not to consider themselves failures and for so many not to connect to davening and learning.
Have them read mussar from the Zohar hakadosh !!
What you are saying makes perfect sense ,but will.never happen emunah is not in the box and quantifiable.
Yeshivas want their product to be in the box and quantifiable.
Middos
The Hashkafa’s of our sages is NOT to emohasis too much learning of emunah in cheder and yehivos–because it can lead to to many questions.
During musser seder one can lern chovas h’levvos.
But the main learning must be torah–which itself brings a person to emunah and emunas chachamim.
Moeover, in our hashkafa, we do not believe the concept, that every yid has their own “individual mission”, rather the mission for every yid is the same, “to be an oved hsahem thru learning torah and doing mitzvos. This “individual mission”is NO where in chazal.
And your solution, is any way–much too simplistic.
Nice letter, but like עזיבה without חרטה, it’s worthless unless the educators and parents stop making it all about the test scores and grades. THAT is what is destroying the kids, not lack of “feeling connected,” which is a nice platitude but doesn’t mean much if to a young child.
A child needs to be taught to give it all the effort; reaching the top is nice, but not necessarily the goal.
👏👏👏
Exactly this the the cause and solution of most problems plaguing our community.
it’s not enough to teach emuna-parents and teachers must treat children in a dignified manner and prove to them that they matter and are precious beyond how well they learn and their test scores. Children need to see the adults in their life take interest in them and connect and relate to them. Otherwise any theoretical knowledge that you are precious to Hashem will be nearly meaningless.
Thank you so much for writing such an important thought. This post needs to be in all schools on the bulletin boards in the teachers rooms.
Excellent points brought out in this article. However, emunah is not like math or history. It is a concept that grows on you as one goes through life and experiences the Yad Hashem in its many different manifestations. A young child can’t be taught emunah other than to teach him to say the Ani Maamin every day. It is an esoteric topic to teach to adults, much less, to children.
I do agree with the author that there are a multitude of concepts, hanhagos and simple daily behaviorisms that must be taught at an early age before “hocking them in kop” in fifth grade with Gemara. There are far more important matters to teach young children other than Gemara and memorizing 2000 mishnayos by heart. If you think I am exaggerating, pick up on any given week each and every Jewish magazine and newspaper and see what is being discussed. Read the letters to the editors. Are they discussing pshat in a Tosafos or bullying, excessive drinking, high rate of divorce, chilul Shabbos by “frum” Jews? The direction of Klal Yisroel is spiraling in wrong direction.
this article is some crazy projection.
“Emunah” is the author’s stand in for “gaavah”.
Real eminah is trust and bitul to Hashem. This is not something that is taught in an educators curriculum, it is taught experientially by parents, siblings and the community at large.
If your child is not being raised in a “eminah first” community, either double down on the in home messaging or move to a better place.
Either way, the local “educators” are not going to save your children!
Well intended message. Nice try. Several problems with the ideas here.
Emunoh is a midoh. All the didactic techniques in the world fail to teach midos. One can learn about the midos, the information contained on this is expansive in the works of the Baalei Mussar, and throughout Divrei Chazal. But learning the midos themselves is not an intellectual task. All the seforim, all the schmoozes, all the contests have zero effect on the actual learning of the midos. That is accomplished by modeling, the establishment of a moreh derech, the first עשה לך רב. Until we build our community and chinuch on role models, this discussion is just another effort at applying intellect to emotion, and destined to fail as ll have before it.
Our chinuch system is built on the assembling of large classes, and the placement of a rebbe in front of the room to teach. Basically, it is to download information. Torah Umesorah has long recognized that this is wholly inadequate to accomplish the goal of true chinuch. Entire conventions of TU have been dedicated to transmitting values, with full and keen awareness that the lecture is not the means to accomplish this. I postulate that until we can make a permanent structure within the system that every talmid has a rebbe with a personal and individual connection, we won;t see much success in this regard. But TU deserves the credit for recognizing this and for some yeshivos that implemented the ideas.
Meanwhile, we have gravitated to the basest of models. We have large classrooms. Nope. Our ancestors had melamdim who capped their tutelage to 6-8 talmidim. We use testing and grading to measure success. Nope. We need to examine behavior and the integration of Torah values. The percentage of retention of material to feed back on a test is a lousy measure of what really matters. We use competitiveness as a motivator. That is NOT the translation of קנאת סופרים. We use reward and punishment as discipline. Nope. How degrading to employ techniques best reserved for animals in the laboratory. Intrinsic reward is quite different, and is far more successful in creating the product we wish to have.
Emunoh is great. But we need to have a structure that permits us to give this to kids. And we are nowhere near good enough at it. How many of us are just following routines, without the passion that needs to dominate our Avodas Hashem? No, I’m not accusing anyone. Just suggesting that we need to begin with our own emunoh.
great letter
Here is the solution: 1) concerned mothers like yourselves need to demand from the the leaders to talk about the very much needed reform in the chinuch of our young children. Trust me if enough people like you raise their concern, they will start leading. 2) Strong focus on the Tefilah: Our children need to understand the deep meaning behind every single word that we currently recite “like a Robat” To Hashem. 3) Mastership over our Lashaon Hakodesh and dikdok. This is the ONLY language that Hashem spoke to our forefathers. It should not be strange to our children. 4) Bring back the biggest Musar Sefer and Emunah Sefer that we have in our possession: The Tanach. Talk to R Reismman, Shelita about this! The Yeshiva system already in Europe wrote that treasure off a long ago. Look at our Sephardic brothers. They never banned the the Tanach and they never banned the Zohar Hakadosh! Compare their Emmunah to ours! They do not have 100 denominations of orthodoxy in order to figure out the truth! Sticking to the old stuff is very helpful! 5) The study of the Midrash metaher and mekadesh the heart of our children so that when they grow older, they will treat the gemarah not as an empty intellectual exercise, but rather a holy mission that penetrates through their heart so that they can do Maasim Tovim with it. ( Rav Chaim used to make a Siyum on the Tanach and Midrash once a year). 6) While we demand from mechanechim to stop robbing us from our very much needed mesorah, you as a holy Jewish mother have an obligation to bring to the attention of your friends that you all have the ULTIMATE POWER IN YOUR HANDS: Stop focusing on fancy dresses and sheitels. Stop modeling after holly wood and other social media garbage. In this week Parsha Yaakov Avinu wants to run away from the beis Midrash that is located inside his mother’s womb. He even has the best Rabbi there, Malach Hashem! The best true Chinuch. But he can not stay there. Why? What’s the rush to get out? Say Rav Chaim, the briskeh Rav: The influence of Esav is what makes Yaakov Avinu concerned. Even though he has the warmest and most comfortable Mokom Torah with the greatest Daas Torah/Rabi, he still wants to come out prematurely!!!!. The beautiful BLOND MODEL that Eisav wants to sell Yaako from LA and Miami is what frightens Yaakov! I just came home from a wedding. On my way out I decided to strike a conversation with the doorman that was holding the door for all of us and no one was saying a word to him. I decided to make a Kiddush Hashem. I even touch him to show him my warmth. You know what he asked me? He said Why is it that I see so many bearded man (that look not attractive), but I can not keep my eyes off of your drop dead gorges woman? One is more beautiful than the next one! I was speechless! This man was telling me that if you the holy Jewish mother focus on what Esev wants to get you busy with, of course you will come to neglect the Chinuch of your child and certainly not a Toradikeke role model for your own children. My dear holy Jewish mother: We desperately need you! We just need your attention so that we bring Mosheich. Be a role model first and then demand the Chinuch that gives emunah and Yiraas shomayim to our children. That is how our great great grand parents handed the mesorah to us! And Don’t forget to daven with lots of Kavana. That is what Rivkah emenu did. She was not somech on Basa Vedam. She said in the same Paskuk. let’s go Lidrosh Hashem. May Bezchus of getting our priorities staraight and bezchos our Nashim Sadkanyos, we will be zoche to witness Heveias Hagoel Bekarov!
In other words: KISS (Keep it simple, stupid). That is the old American saying!
To all friends who say that we can not teach Emunah to our children: You are wrong! See my lengthy response above. Additionally, the Rambam tells us that you have to TEACH Yiraas Shamyaim to a young child at a very young age. As he grows and acquires more wisdom, then he is TOUGHT Ahavas Hashem. Yes the way you talk and conduct yourself as a teacher you will fulfil these Torah mandated obligation. Again teach Navi, Zohar Hakadosh, and Midrash and you will see build up of Yiraas Hashem and Ahavas Hashem in our children. Emmunah is then an automatic by product of this two elements. It is really not complicated. Every time a child is faced with a test/challenging situation, it is the Yiraas Hashem that causes him have self control. He does it enough times, the next by product is then automatic emunah!