Oh, the things I have seen.

How many miles I have travelled,
Through winding roads
And narrow paths
Rain, sun, wind and snow
Nothing can stop me.

How many come to me,
Tired and afraid,
Wondering what the future will bring.
I welcome you in and hold your hand,
I tell you, you are safe,
As long as you are with me.

How many tears I have silently witnessed,
Quiet sorrow in times of loss. I hold so much pain and joy
In my walls
And I don’t tell a soul the secrets I see

How many tiny children’s cries have I held,
and wiped away with my shiny blue lights
And kind faces
Reassuring you that all will be well.
Your smile means everything.

How many scrapes and bruises,
Broken bones,
aches and pains have I carried.
How many ‘somethings just not right’ have I quietly heard
Silent fears
I have held you.

How many shaking mothers have I embraced,
Tefilos whispered on desperate lips.
Within my chambers I have offered silent reprieve
For you know, I am there for you.

How many of you came to me terrified and scared
I drive you calmly yet confidently
I assure you that help is on its way
That you are cared for and loved
All will be well.

How many beginnings I have witnessed,
I remember each soul I have brought into the world
The sound of those very first cries of life
stay with me,
etched into my heart.

And conversely ,
How many times have I witnessed
A soul slip silently away.
Mournful cries. I sit back and let you mourn
And scream
with shock and disbelief.
For with me, you are safe.

It is sad when I’m called,
And I can see it will be the last time
we get to meet.
I weep quietly as I gently send you off to the hospital,
that one last time.

The ones
Who leave this earth before their time,
Those are the worst. I remember those
A part of them stays with me always.
But I am lucky
For tomorrow when I again get to bring new life into the world,
I am comforted.

Sometimes,
When I arrive you are not at your best. I embrace you whilst gently looking away,
Allowing you to retain your dignity.
I don’t judge
I only care.

Oh, how many people I have met.
Young, old
The rich and the poor
Those who are weak, yet strong in mind
And those who are strong but whose minds start to fail them

There are those who come with many voices of comfort,
And those who come alone. I am your sole confidant.
I don’t take that lightly.

Sometimes you come in pain,
Confused and concerned. I hear the words you utter that no one else knows
The brave face you show the world.
Only I know what it takes for you to
To get up everyday
And put on that smile.

Oh, the things I have seen.
The lives I have saved.

I don’t like to brag,
But I know there are those living today, who would not be if not for me
I am but a vessel to G-ds Kindness.
I might be a glutton for punishment but just know that I will never,
Ever,
give up on you.

And whilst with the things I see,
The sorrows I carry are many.
I have never before felt scared.
I know I must stay calm
In the face of danger. For you,
I put on my brave face
And I fulfil my duty.

That is, until last night.

You came with your torches.
Awoken from my fitful slumber,
Bleary eyed I saw the light
And heard the shouts.
Confused,
I asked what you are doing
Is something wrong? Am I needed for something important?

At first, I thought those smiles were friendly,
A greeting for me!
Yet as you came closer, I realised
With a sickening punch to my gut
That those smiles of glee
Were those of destruction.

Oh, how I cried.
I shouted so loud
A gut-wrenching wail
As I burned, red hot and melting
Smoke filled my lungs as my breath went silent.
I waited for you to come,
As I always had for you; rain, sun, wind and snow.
But you never came.

You watched as the flames engulfed me
With one last defeated roar
I begged for you to save me. I lifted my voice to the heavens and
Howled;
Cried;
Screamed;
To be saved.
To be able to save just one more life
But alas,
You were silent.

Here is my promise;
I have never given up
I will never give up.
I will keep on going
I will keep on saving

But it will take time to heal.
And now,
And perhaps forevermore,
My lights are just a little bit dimmer than before.

Mrs Aimee Sandler

Golders Green, London