[COMMUNICATED CONTENT]

A Milestone Publication

The publication of Israel Bookshop�s With Cords of Love: Reaching the Struggling Teen represents a�milestone event for the frum community.

Numerous articles, blog posts, letters to the editor, and even books have been printed discussing,�debating, and offering opinions about the painful subject of disenchanted teenagers, or �kids-at- risk.��However, this is the first time ever that a definitive and comprehensive treatment of this timely subject�according to da�as Torah has ever been presented. The Chazon Ish zt�l would say that the only way to�coax wayward Jews back to Hashem is through avosos ha�ahavah, cords of love. This book masterfully�expounds on this approach.

A Labor of Love

With Cords of Love is based on the teachings, insights, and guidance culled from conversations with Rav�Mattisyahu Salomon shlit�a, Mashgiach of Beth Medrash Govoha. In addition to his Torah perspective,�Rav Salomon has had much hands-on experience in helping countless parents – and teens themselves -�with this delicate area of chinuch. Despite his frail health, the Mashgiach placed great emphasis on the�importance of publishing this guide, and exerted considerable effort ensuring that the project was�completed. Several years in the making, this book was painstakingly worked through by Rabbi Ezriel�Tauber, a close confidant of Rav Salomon, who was charged with taking the raw material and rendering�it into book format. As Rabbi Tauber writes in the Foreword:

�The material presented is based on real-life situations in which I was personally involved with parents�and children facing this nisayon. Time and again I turned to the Mashgiach for guidance, and witnessed�firsthand how it is possible to succeed in helping both these children and their parents without�compromising even an iota on any Torah values, no matter how far the children had fallen or what�circumstances led them to stray.�

Indeed, HaRav Shmuel Kamenetsky, as well as his son HaRav Sholom, who know the author and his�mesiras nefesh on behalf of struggling teens, read With Cords of Love and expressed their strong�approval.

It should be noted that the Mashgiach carefully scrutinized the book from beginning to end before�giving it his enthusiastic approval. As the Mashgiach exclaimed while reviewing and re-reviewing the�material numerous times, �I read it with three sets of eyes: those of the parents that will seek guidance�from it, those of the children of whom it speaks, and those of the greater public!�

A Broad Chinuch Perspective

The modest sub-title of the book �Reaching the Struggling Teen� does not really do justice to the full�scope of this work. Much more than a practical �how-to� guide, this work is a treasure trove of Torah�wisdom and chinuch advice for all parents and all children; perspectives and guidance for parents�enduring challenges; a broad understanding of the Torah�s approach of unconditional love, especially as�it applies to struggling teens; and advice for dealing with the struggling teen�s impact on his or her�siblings. The final section is a beautiful exposition on the Tomer Devorah�s classic work on the Thirteen�Attributes of Hashem�s mercy, elaborating on how parents can emulate these middos specifically in the�context of dealing with a wayward child, based on the Mashgiach�s published commentary on the sefer.

Unconditional Love

As the title of the book suggests, the core of its approach is the practice of unconditional love. It is�axiomatic that the only way to reach a struggling teen, who is invariably in pain, is through nurturing a�genuine, deep-seated love for the child, and communicating that love in abundance. However, this is not�a ploy or a Dale Carnegie tactic to �win over� the child. Rather, it reflects a truism that the only way one�can feel the child�s pain and truly help him is if his efforts are borne out of love, and only if the child�senses this love. The Mashgiach illustrated this point so powerfully with a lesson in chinuch that he was�privileged to witness firsthand when learning in Kfar Chassidim by his legendary rebbi, the Mashgiach�Rav Elya Lopian zt�l.

A bachur in yeshivah wanted to avoid being caught by the mashgiach coming late to davening, so he�snuck into the bais hamedrash through a window. When Rav Elya confronted him, he tried to evade the�question, but eventually had to admit what he had done.

Rav Elya began to seethe. �Climbing through a window!� he exclaimed. �That�s deceitful. You can grow�up to be a crooked person. You should know,� he added, �that if I would know that you know how much�I love you, I would slap you right now!�

Rav Mattisyahu says he learned a great lesson from this story: You can�t slap a child until he knows how�much you love him. A slap alone accomplishes absolutely nothing.

A Balanced Approach

Perhaps the most important component of this work is the clearly defined parameters that are carefully�outlined for those dealing with this delicate situation: when to look away, when to gently draw lines,�and how to simultaneously convey love while setting limitations. As the Mashgiach emphasizes, the rule�of thumb is that following the path that conforms to halachah and hashkafah will achieve successful�results while avoiding transgression.

Engaging and Fascinating

Despite the gravity of its content, With Cords of Love is written in a refreshing and engaging manner. The�book is full of enlightening stories of gedolim, parables, and insights in Aggada. It�s a unique synthesis of�practical guidance, mussar, hashkafah, and a great read.

It is the fervent hope of this writer that this book will serve its intended purpose and bring about k�vod�Shamayim, as well as opening the way back for the precious neshamos it is meant to reach.